Stop the World

It seems unfair that during a pandemic other things don't stop.

We have had to stop our physical interactions.  Stop businesses.  Stop conferences, classes, meetings.

But other things?  Do not stop.

And so we have floods, some of them catastrophic.  We have weather events - hundreds of people in Bengal and Bangladesh affected by storms.  Volcanoes erupt and earthquakes happen.  Glaciers melt.

And climate change goes on.  Even as we stopped travelling so much, even as we stopped polluting so much.  Even so.

Scientists warn that the tiny blip in numbers is essentially meaningless.  As soon as we go back to 'normal' things will continue to worsen.  In fact, they haven't actually improved all that much.  The fact we may have clear blue skies just means there is less particulate matter in the air, not that carbon dioxide isn't still warming the earth.

Individually people still have health issues beyond the pandemic.  People with chronic illnesses are still ill.  We are just 'better' at isolating ourselves, so may be managing better than people who do not have that background of having to deal with being careful because of our health.

Some countries are doing a better job of helping their citizens weather the pandemic 'storm'.  Others?  Not so much.

And a small vocal minority screams for business to open as usual, refusing to protect themselves or others from the spread of a deadly virus.  Last time I checked there were over 5 million people who had caught the virus and 300,000+ people who have died from it.  There is still no cure, no vaccine, and people advocating for society to just get a grip and let the virus run rampant through the world so that we can quickly develop herd immunity are willing to do that at the expense of thinning the herd.

They don't seem to care that millions could and likely would die.  They are ok with people who are immune compromised or old to go ahead and just die already.  They don't care that a significant number of people who survive the virus will do so with compromised bodies.  In the US that means that those people will have 'pre-existing conditions' and will not be eligible for health insurance.

And they don't care.

There are times when I want to throw up my hands and just hunker down and try to ignore those bleating about their 'rights' and their 'roots'.  But I cannot.

So I urge everyone to stay safe.  Stay at home if you can.  Wear a mask if you must go out.  Maintain physical distance.

And now that most of the world is seeing the end of the first wave and beginning to slowly lift restrictions, it is time for us all to think about what we have learned from this pandemic.  What we need to do to change the inequities in society.  How we can protect ourselves from further calamity.  How we can continue to live and grow and support each other.

Proof

Yesterday Doug went to the printer and discussed the changes I wanted to make to my hang tags.  This morning, shortly after 9 am the email with the changes in proof form arrived in my inbox.

I suspect that such businesses are hurting from the pandemic closures and was actually a little surprised they were open, except they probably can do physical distancing.

Doug was pleased to see that as soon as he left, an employee was already wiping down everything he touched as he then felt secure that they were doing it for everyone.

After some discussion we agreed that I should keep the "Weaving" while dropping the "Studio".   (I choose "Weaving" rather than "Weaver" because Weaver is also a surname and at one point I got listed in the directory as Laura Weaver!)

There are reasons for me to make a noticeable change, too lengthy and boring to go into here.

I kept the Master Weaver designation because even though I am retired, no one can take my credentials away from me. 

I am keeping the post office box so the address is the same, but I no longer have a business phone so we now list the home phone and the hours at which we would entertain phone calls.  Not that anyone does, but...

It was also time to drop the other business info - I am no longer a dealer for Ashford and will not be actively seeking commission work.

It took me years to get my business fine tuned and it is going to take some time to close it completely.  Like wrapping up a life, a business takes time to shut down accounts and get paperwork done.  As a friend commented a few weeks ago, my timing in shutting down was rather prescient, and I'm actually glad I did.  Or perhaps relieved is a better word to use.

And so Life does go On, just in very small, incremental ways.  I choose to stay home as much as possible.  Today I need to go have blood work done for my 6 month check up.  I'm not sure if the nurse practitioner will just phone me with results or if she will have me go into the clinic.  I suppose it depends on how the numbers look.  I haven't stressed out about it too much this time.  The pandemic kind of uses up all my stress focus.

Year of the Plague

No one said anything would be 'easy' and so it is proving.

I'm seeing a lot of people getting frustrated, saying that 2020 doesn't count because they aren't getting to (name thing here).

But Life isn't what you want, it's how you deal with what happens while you are living.

Disappointed?  Yes, I have been dealing with disappointments.  And quite frankly, if I wasn't 'retired' I would be a lot more stressed than I am.  So I get, I really do.

Things are uncertain.  Things are difficult.  Things are stressful.  All of these things are 2020 in a nutshell, this Year of the Plague.

This morning our prime minister announced that the southern border will remain closed for at least another month.  The longer the border remains closed, the more difficult life is going to be for a lot of people.  On the other hand, the US leads the world in Covid-19 cases...and deaths.  So while I regret the border staying closed (for non-essential travel), because I had a friend who was planning on coming for a visit, I understand the necessity.

I freely admit my privilege during this time.  Not everyone is in the same place, and they can't stay safely at home but must brave the workplace and hope they don't catch the virus.  Because of my privilege, I can stay home and stay out of the cross hairs, and not present myself as a target for infection.  I can choose to not become a vector for spreading it.

There have been some encouraging news stories about the development of anti-body testing, and even some promising results in the vaccine trials that have been rushed into the human phase.  But as a researcher pointed out last night on the news, that particular vaccine may not be the one that actually 'works'.  However, they can learn from it and the trials are exactly what they need in order to tweak the vaccine to make sure that a) it isn't going to cause more harm than good and b) actually provide immunity over the larger community.

A reliable vaccine is still about a year (best case scenario) from being available.

Our province is beginning to loosen restrictions but ultimately everything is uncertain right now.  Have we flattened the curve enough for society to begin to mingle again?  Dr. Henry warns of a second wave to come, encouraging all to keep physical distance and if that isn't possible, wear a mask.

What this means for groups, like schools, where the whole point is for 'large' groups to meet in confined quarters is yet to be determined.  And how many young children are going to understand that they must stay distant?  How will they play?  New games will have to be invented, I think.  I read a news story about Denmark - reducing class sizes to 10 students, and holding classes out of doors.

Years of governments slashing education budgets will have to be addressed, school class sizes drastically reduced.

What about public transport?  If I have to fly somewhere, will I have to buy all three seats in my row to ensure I'm not sitting next to someone shedding the virus?  What about people who refuse to wear a mask?  Will they be allowed to enter stores?  Why would they even want to not protect themselves?

These are troubling times.  It would be great if the experts had definitive answers, but the virus is 'novel', as in never seen before, therefore the experts are learning as they go and sometimes the recommendations change as they do learn more.  It may seem confusing but it's actually pretty simple:

Stay home if you possibly can
If you need to go out (as some of us do need to do, for various reasons) wear a mask.
Wash your hands when you get home.  Use sanitizer when you touch things.
Wash your cloth mask, clean your bags, purse, phone

As the restrictions begin to loosen, be kind.  You don't know what is going on with anyone else.  Be especially kind to employees you interact with as you go about your business.

And don't take advice from people peddling fake cures or treatments.

Rolling Right Along

We got all the towels re-tagged but have run out of tags.  Which means I am going to have to go buy more.  Since the printer I last ordered tags from is still in business, apparently, I will have to find out if they are open during this time of pandemic.  And request changes - new telephone number, remove the words "Weaving Studio".  Because weaving is now my 'hobby', not a business.  On the other hand, the textiles I place for sale at consignment shops still need to have legal labels, so...

Yesterday I had a Skype call with a couple of friends.  We have been meeting pretty much every two weeks (barring individual schedules) since around 1995.    We have diverse backgrounds, but a shared interest in textiles.  I weave, one of the others knits and all of us got intrigued with bobbin lace.

Over the years, our shared interest has turned into friendship and it was lovely to see their faces and talk for an hour.  We will do it again in two weeks, and then see how things are going.  If restrictions are lifting, we will plan on meeting at the house of one as she has a large deck and we can maintain physical distancing.

We talked about being at home, wearing masks, taking precautions.  One has to have Zoom meetings for work and she talked about Zoom fatigue.

I have read articles about how people who don't have an appropriate level of social interactions can start to have problems staying away from others.  All three of us have experienced isolation due to medical issues and are perhaps a little more accepting that this needs to happen right now.

Craft fairs locally are cancelled so the two of us who sell our work are unsure as to why we continue.  Except that we find solace in creation.  And things will start to sell again, sometime, somewhere.

Two of us belong to the fibre arts guild, and we are looking at how we might be able to hold a sale in the guild room in November and/or December.  Whether we take appointments or some other method of managing people has yet to be worked out.

"Normal", as they say, is a setting on the dryer.  With a vaccine still months away, a second wave predicted as society begins to 'open up', no one has any idea at all what things are going to look like next week, never mind in the autumn.

The country south of us is pressing to open up, including the border, but our PM is being cautious.  The country to the south of us is currently the leader in cases...and deaths...in the world.  We don't need to import the virus from them.  Which may mean that Americans may not be allowed into Canada to attend the Olds satellite classes in September.  Which means, they might 'fail' due to lack of numbers.

And so we finally come to grips with the uncertainty of life.  Truth is, there is no certainty.  We just think there is.  Now we are being forced to look uncertainty in the face and acknowledge that there is only now, only this.  We had better make the most of our time here, because there are no guarantees of tomorrow.  For anyone.

Roller Coaster

Today is not a 'good' day for me.  I have been plagued with seasonal allergies and sinus congestion and not sleeping well for a number of reasons.

So I woke up feeling lethargic and tired.

We think that progress should be a steady, straight line to the goal, but it isn't.  We all have good days, bad days and meh days.  Sometimes we have more energy than other days.

Right now what keeps me going is the fact that I can weave.  I am past the halfway mark on the current warp.  I've used up more of the yarn wound onto pirns and am about to weave a colour more to my taste (just one more of the green to do) and I'm hoping that the new colour (cherry red) will be really dramatic.  Two of the red/dark towels will be given to a friend for a bd present (belated no doubt but she also feels such things are moveable feasts).

I am dragging my feet on getting a warp onto the Leclerc, but have cleared most of the clutter away from that loom so I can beam the warp.  But I need to math for that one and my brain is foggy with sinus congestion.  However, I could at least get the warp beamed.  I mathed enough to get that started a couple of weeks ago.

Someone posted on Twitter that now is the time for compassion and to begin with yourself.

So I am going to go get dressed and finish that green yarn.  And then have a Skype get together with a couple of friends.  It's not supposed to rain today, so I might begin the red after the Skype call and finish the day with a walk.  I'm seeing progress in muscle strength and I would really like to keep moving in the direction of improving, not sliding back.

But if I can't?  That's ok, too.  There is always tomorrow.

Pragmatic

As the days and weeks grind on, people are starting to feel restless.  In the northern hemisphere, winter has loosened its grip and people are wanting to be out and about.  For folk struggling with staying home, comes the question - how are you managing the pandemic?

I'm not having a particularly difficult time of it, in no small part due to my circumstances which allow me the privilege of actually staying home while Doug does all the out of the house errands.  But even he is beginning to limit his time out of the house.  We have the promise of masks and I expect that he will begin wearing one when he goes out as restrictions in our town begin to ease.

But basically I am quite pragmatic.  I see roses.  I enjoy their scent, their colours, but am also abundantly aware that they come with thorns.  Do the thorns make me enjoy them less?  No, I just acknowledge that the thorns are there and take measures to avoid them.

The Oxford Concise English Dictionary defines pragmatic as:  dealing with matters according to their practical significance or immediate importance.  (there are other nuances to the meaning of the word, but this is the one that is applicable to this post.)

So if I were to label how I am dealing with the pandemic, it would be pragmatic acceptance.

I accept that we are living in the time of Covid-19, where we have no herd immunity because the virus is 'novel' (so new no one's immune system has seen it before), no cure and no vaccine.

I accept that I am compromised and should I contract the virus could well die, and if not die, be made very ill from it.  Some people who have recovered say that their bodies are compromised for weeks afterwards and no one really knows how long that will go on, or the long term impact it will have on their lives and ability to return to what was 'normal' prior to having it.

I accept that the best course of action for me is to stay out of the cross hairs of the virus, so I am staying at home other than to walk in my neighbourhood for a little physical exercise and fresh air, maintaining physical distance from others.  When I pass others on the road, I smile, nod, return greetings.

I accept that there is no way to know how long this will last and that no one knows what society will look like when it is 'over'.

I am not 'giving up' but taking a pragmatic look at what needs to be done and how best to do it.

Right now my best plan is to stay home but keep active - which means keep weaving and walking when the weather permits. 

I accept that the classes I was booked to teach have been cancelled or postponed and that the postponed classes may also be cancelled.  Am I happy about this?  No, but I accept that it is necessary should a second wave happen as restrictions loosen.

The leader of the cancer support group that I attend commented that people with chronic health issues like us are probably uniquely equipped to deal with the self isolation because we need to pay attention to things like this all the time.  I have had to deal with self-isolating on several occasions, although previously the restriction was just on me - I could still have company.  But the internet provides interaction and communication and how I am living my life right now isn't terribly different from what I was doing during those times.  I have had practice at staying home, not going anywhere that isn't necessary.

All of this coping on my part doesn't make someone else's difficulty in coping a character flaw.  People need to figure out what works for them and how to get through this time.

The first priority is to survive.  Some people are posting memes saying that just surviving isn't enough.  I'm here to say that this is our only priority right now.  Survive. 

Mark Lawrence is an author I follow on Twitter.  He has written many books and has a way with words that I find compelling.  This morning a quote was posted on Twitter to the effect that we need to keep punching me-shaped holes in the days.

My goal is to keep punching me-shaped holes in my days.  Survive.  We'll figure out what comes next 'after'.

In The Wings

Trying to use up stash, things can get a bit challenging.  Which is not a bad thing, but...

So I had this box of pirns, wound with a beige that has a bit of a green tinge to it.  The tendency would be to 'muddy' the colour it crosses, so I had to think for a while what to do for a warp to use the beige on.

My yarn stash is diminishing nicely, and choices were getting scarce.  Eventually I pulled the rose/brick/beiges in the bin, with the thought of doing something like brick work.

But the more I thought about how those colours were going to interact, the more I hesitated.  I already had a warp with very similar colours and the result was...visually very 'busy'.  And in my eye, not particularly attractive. 

Customers obviously agreed, because very few of those towels have sold.

So I let the whole thing simmer on the back burner for weeks.  Months, to be honest.   In the interim, I worked on other combinations that appealed to me more than this one.

But I'm running out of time to make tea towels.  I have agreed to do some other things, plus I'd just like to work with some other yarns and make something other than tea towels.  Because goodness knows, I have plenty (plenty!) of tea towels, given I'm not doing any craft fairs.

(Truth to tell, most of them are cancelled anyway - we are mulling over how/if we do a guild room sale.)

Shops are still closed, although the provincial medical officer is beginning to loosen things.  We will pause for at least two weeks to see how the numbers are before Dr. Henry proceeds with further lessening of restrictions.

But back to the above.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been thinking more consciously about this particular combination.  I examined and tossed out multiple approaches.  The first firm decision I came to was to not blend the different colours, but to make coloured stripes.  So the rose/brick will be grouped together, bracketed by the beiges.  The difference in value means the colours must be more carefully distributed, not randomly sprinkled.

Once I had made the decision, I considered weave structures,  The original plan was tossed out because the motif would not play well within the stripes.  So then I considered other options.  Each one was tossed out because I didn't have a good feeling about how it would look with those yarns in a stripe.

Yesterday I tossed out everything and decided simple is best.  This warp will be woven in a 1:3 broken twill.  The cloth will be primarily warp on one side (to be the 'right' side) and the beige weft will be primarily on the other (back) side.  The cloth will be woven 'upside down' so that I am lifting the least number of shafts.  IOW, back side up.

Will it work?  I'll know in the next few weeks.  I hit the halfway mark on the current warp, but I have another project that needs to be done with some urgency after putting it on hold some weeks ago.  That deadline is about to go 'critical'.  Which is when I work 'best', it seems.