photo from a walk through
the Ancient Forest east of town
People sometimes ask where to find inspiration. I find it all around me. The bark of this huge cedar tree reminds me of a textile - one woven in collapse weave perhaps. Or an irregular twill. With several shades of grey and a kind of yellow/green moss colour, a little beige (wood). All set off by the green of the Devil's Club leaves (the size of very large dinner plates).
I find myself today in the eye of the storm. Calm when I would 'normally' be scrambling trying to make one more thing, do one more thing, more, more, more...
After making a few more decisions yesterday, however, I find myself calm. Maybe because I just don't care anymore - I'm done with the mad scramble. I'm done worrying about whether or not I will earn enough money to pay the bills. Instead I am getting rid of the bills.
The invoice for the city business license arrived this morning. I opened it and...I didn't care. The license expires on Dec. 31 which is when my business officially closes. I will likely go into City Hall, hand it to them and tell them to cancel it so that they don't keep sending me reminders.
Yesterday the business phone rang and a call centre voice asked to speak to the business owner. I said "no" and hung up. I just don't care. That line will be discontinued in January and I will no longer have to pay that bill, which also arrived in today's mail. Plus there won't be spam phone calls, frequently several every day.
So I continue to whittle away at the things that will soon become irrelevant to me. We will probably have to take a long look at our finances, but our needs are few, we don't want for much. Getting rid of the grind is bringing me a peace and calm I haven't had for a very long time.
And it's all good.