Be-calmed

photo from a walk through

 the Ancient Forest east of town

People sometimes ask where to find inspiration.  I find it all around me.  The bark of this huge cedar tree reminds me of a textile - one woven in collapse weave perhaps.  Or an irregular twill.  With several shades of grey and a kind of yellow/green moss colour, a little beige (wood).  All set off by the green of the Devil's Club leaves (the size of very large dinner plates).

I find myself today in the eye of the storm.  Calm when I would 'normally' be scrambling trying to make one more thing, do one more thing, more, more, more...

After making a few more decisions yesterday, however, I find myself calm.  Maybe because I just don't care anymore - I'm done with the mad scramble.  I'm done worrying about whether or not I will earn enough money to pay the bills.  Instead I am getting rid of the bills.

The invoice for the city business license arrived this morning.  I opened it and...I didn't care.  The license expires on Dec. 31 which is when my business officially closes.  I will likely go into City Hall, hand it to them and tell them to cancel it so that they don't keep sending me reminders.

Yesterday the business phone rang and a call centre voice asked to speak to the business owner.  I said "no" and hung up.  I just don't care.  That line will be discontinued in January and I will no longer have to pay that bill, which also arrived in today's mail.   Plus there won't be spam phone calls, frequently several every day.

So I continue to whittle away at the things that will soon become irrelevant to me.  We will probably have to take a long look at our finances, but our needs are few, we don't want for much.  Getting rid of the grind is bringing me a peace and calm I haven't had for a very long time.

And it's all good.