Three weeks ago, I wound up doing a face plant. I laid down and fell asleep, and thankfully Doug was home because he realized that something was going terribly wrong, and phoned for an ambulance. It turns out I wound up having a brain bleed, and that night I was medevacked (?) to Vancouver where I had brain surgery.
A number of medical professionals have assured me that I am doing 'well'. I told my family doctor it doesn't feel like it...
I have multiple emotional responses.
For one thing I am having difficulty with my speech - although things are slowly improving. But I have little desire to teach in person, not even only on a Zoom presentation. I struggle with my words when I speak, and I know my delivery is poor. I'm also nervous whether or not I can do an hour/two presentations. My voice is weak, I struggle to find the words I need.
Now that this has happened, it feels strangely meant to be. I had been writing a number of articles and intending to get them done asap. As it happens the first two for the new weaving magazine were done - one had already been sent to the editor, and I had *just* finished the second, but was not yet sent.
When I got home from hospital, I arrived home with a cold, and shared it with Doug. The intervening 3 weeks has been stressful, especially while I couldn't speak for several days. The diagnosis was aphasia. As a teacher/writer, I was dealing with not being able to communicate effectively.
Given I have zero idea how long this journey (worst journey, ever!) will last, I have thought long and hard to protect myself and guilds from my medical condition. I don't feel confident that I can capably perform well. An estimate for recovery is at the very least 6 months. And I don't know when I can be placed with a speech therapist. As such, I feel I need to cancel the two booked Zoom presentations in January.
Since writing is still easier than speaking, I MAY try to write the other two articles for the weaving magazine - although I'm not sure I will able to do the short article for the summer issue.
I did do a couple of articles for School of Sweet Georgia. I just need to proof read the first file and make sure it's ok.
I am also not sure how soon I can get back to the loom. I had prepped the next warp, getting it 3/4s threaded. It feels like it will take some some to build up my strength - again.
Frankly, I am exhausted. For the time being, I'm quite frankly content for sleep as much as possible. A couple of nurse friends remind me, nearly daily, that I need to rest.
Bottom line? I'm partially furious that has happened to me. But I'm so exhausted that I can't even work up a good head of steam.
There is much to work out. But I am starting to feel a bit stronger. While I am frustrated and disappointed that I might not be able to write more articles, I have considered how/well I can live the rest of my life. My goal - for the time being - is to continue to weave down my stash. If I can weave, I will try to produce more weaving information.
Maybe I'll start feeling better soon...
17 comments:
Oh, Laura! Sorry to hear all of this. I completely agree with your nurse friends. Rest, rest, REST!! We love you and are sending kind thoughts your way.
Very relieved you are writing a bit! I may not always understand the weaving ' speak' but I was very much concerned about you and missing your ' voice'.
Laura, please take care of yourself, rest and try and get better, little by little. sending you best wishes for recovery from Ireland.
My heart goes out to you. You are more than your voice in a Zoom meeting. Communicate how ever you can. Heal and explore what works for you.
Do what’s best for you. Sending best wishes.
Oh Laura, thank God for Doug. I am so sorry you are going through this - please do rest and rest more. Sending love for healing and for patience.
Oh my, what an unwelcome adventure! I hope the recovery period will go smoothly, even if it feels frustrating. Thinking of you.
Laura, take all the time you need to help the brain heal.I know from my own experience as a brain tumor survivor, that time, slow weaving and for me cranial-sacral therapy after 3 years of recovery was how I regained my health. Love and hugs 😘
Wishing you a a restful full recovery -- and the patience to let it unfold on its own schedule.
Ugh. I'm so sorry for this recent challenge, Laura. Sending all my best for a full and easy recovery.
I too, like the others, hope you have a steady recovery! I'm so thankful that, in true introvert fashion, the ability to communicate well in writing is still a strength that is in your wheelhouse. Were it not for your telling of your story, I wouldn't have thought that there was anything amiss. Your written communication continues to be clear, descriptive, and compelling. You are not finished yet!! I wish you all the best for the coming weeks!
I'm so glad that you're already back at the keyboard. That had to be so frightening for both of you - thank goodness Doug recognized there was a problem! Recovery is always slower than we'd wish; I know you're up to the challenge. And we're rooting for you!
Sending you love and healing vibes. Sleeping is a big part of letting the brain heal as frustrating as it may feel. Hang in there !
Yikes, heal well and continue weaving. It keeps us sane.
🫂🫂🫂
Sending all the love and healing.
Be well. You have the strength of many mountains and your writing is key. Writing and weaving will assist your recovery.
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