Rolling Over

Stats:   All time3004468

This morning the count for page views rolled over 3 million.

Did I aspire to have this kind of readership on that fateful day I opened Blogspot and began in 2008?  

No.  I didn't.  At the time there was quite a large blogging community, and I saw plenty of others who had 'membership' counts much higher than what I did.  However, I was writing out of a desire to continue teaching, and at the time writing was the easiest thing I could do.  And, quite frankly, Blogspot was a free site so it wasn't costing me anything.

I felt...vulnerable...

My younger brother had died in February and we were dealing with my grieving mother, while grieving ourselves, and I was his executrix, which meant I leaned heavily on Doug as we each dealt with some health issues of our own.  The year 2008 was...difficult.

But I could remove myself from reality for an hour and think, and write, about weaving.

That so many of you have come along for the ride has been a pleasant surprise.  And I have felt less lonely knowing that there are some people who enjoy what I write and some let me know that my thoughts, which come randomly at times, purposeful at others, are enjoyable.  And maybe even helpful.

This morning the rest of the yarn for the next article arrived.  I spent some time yesterday examining the yarn already here, some of which isn't that familiar to me.  So I will be learning as I experiment.  Because that is what I will be doing - experimenting, in order to learn more about the craft I love.

Since 2008 I have experienced more health issues than I ever expected to do.  There have been highs and lows, and some of the lows have been very low indeed.  But I'm still here.

Since I am still here, I will carry on.  When my brother died, I experienced 'survivor guilt'.  Why him, not me?  I was older.  He was beloved in this community (standing room only at his funeral) and most of my life has been directed outside of this community.  In the end I realized that I hadn't died, so I'd better get living.  

The brain bleed Aug. 31 nearly put me down for the count.  I wasn't sure I could weave again, never mind teach - or write.  The surgeon was quite matter of fact that my speech may never recover fully, but I find - 4.5 months later, able to write.  It still isn't great, I still have sink holes in my brain, I still find myself typing duplicate words, or missing some altogether.  And my spelling?  Um, not great.

But I can form sentences, and I can edit to my heart's content, unlike speech.  

Still here, still standing - although with a cane when I leave the house.  Guess I will carry on.