Holding On

 

I am close to exhausting the options for pain meds.  Tomorrow I will (hopefully) talk to my doctor about trying something else - something that isn't in the category of 'nerve blocker'.  Every single one I've tried has created muscle and/or joint pain, such that I am finding doing 'simple' things, difficult.

Lately I've been seeing a meme going around with the information that in Norway a common reply to 'how are you' is to say 'Up and not crying'.

Which pretty well sums up where I am, right now.

I had hoped to finish the current warp yesterday but the wheels fell off when once again I could not get to sleep.  The current pain med/nerve blocker seems to also be interfering with my sleep.  I cannot fall asleep, regardless of having pain - or not.  So the drug appears to be helping with blocking the nerve pain, at the cost of muscle/joint pain *and* messing with my serotonin and sleep.  

I would cry, but I don't have the energy.

OTOH, I am now officially registered for the pain management classes being hosted by the local pain clinic *and* they can be attended remotely.  I expressed my gratitude to the person registering explaining that I'm immune compromised.

And tomorrow I hope to get a new drug, one that is not well known, but is showing promise in helping to control nerve pain for fibre neuralgia.  So maybe it will help control mine?  Dunno.

But I'm definitely running out of options, and some people are patting me on the shoulder and telling me I might have to choose my pain.  But since both types of pain 'cripple' me, I'm not sure if I can live with either.  Or at least weave, or do much of anything.

I wet finished the samples for the next WEFT article, and now I have to tag/label them.  But my hands are so painful I can barely write.  I had to put away the spinning wheel because the 'pinch' hurts too much.  So I put some things on 'hold' until I get the next drug and see how things go with it.

Hopefully I can get it tomorrow, so just one more sleep (or not-sleep, such as the case may be).

We finally have some warmer weather, but that just means everything is dirty.  Spring 'break up' has got to be the worst season ever.  Other than fire season, and cold weather season.  

Right now I am channeling The Little Engine Who Could...I think I can, I think I can, I think...

And maybe I can carefully, gingerly, beam the next warp tomorrow and hope the new pills help, not hinder.

Sending gentle hugs virtually, for any who needs them.