Sunday, February 8, 2015

February

February has to be the most difficult month.  We are in the dead of winter.  Snow is piling up, grey skies.  My usual coping mechanism is to hie myself to the loom and work on something with saturated colour to counteract the fifty shades of grey.  

This year I can't.  So I am trying hard to focus on the subtle beauty of the monochromatic view out the window, the sculptural shapes of the snow bound trees.

In the meantime Doug is the one dealing with moving it from here to there.  

A steady flow of friends, either in person or on the phone or Internet has provided much needed gentle distraction.  Every day sees a tiny step forward in healing.   Recovery will be a multi-stage process with several milestones to be reached.  The first is the six week mark when hopefully the sternum will be healed.  Once that has been accomplished physio for the muscles will commence.  

For now I am working on the second third of the first six weeks.  Time does not stand still although its passage definitely feels relative.  But the days do end, another day gets crossed off.  I set myself conservative daily goals which I don't always meet, but at least I do try.  As a friend reminds me, almost daily because I need to hear it, the most important thing is healing, all else can wait. 

But I still need to set my goals because I also need to stay focused on what comes after recovery.   Life is a process and this experience is all a part of it.  We live in amazing times.  So many of my family members simply died from cardiac disease.  I get another chance.  Besides, I've got all that yarn to use up!


7 comments:

Sandra Rude said...

The stash will wait. Mine did just fine while I ignored it and concentrated on getting well. I guess I was lucky that my surgery was in May, because the weather let me get out and walk a bit without any danger of slipping on that white stuff you've got. You can still get some exercise in, just by walking around the house as much as you can. That shouldn't stress the sternum.

Laura Fry said...

Yes, I go round and round the mulberry bush, aka central fireplace. ;). My fitbit keeps track of my step count and motivates me to try for a little more than I did yesterday. Don't always manage to do more, but...taking it slowly but steadily.

Cheers
Laura

gpfrench said...

So happy to hear how you are feeling and progressing! Keep walking around that mulberry bush- best thing you can do for yourself! It is boring, but necessary, to NOT disturb your sternum. Allow it to heal!!! And, as you know, you have the chance to be bored for a few weeks instead of dining from this disease. Not a bad deal for you!
It is coming up on my 10th anniversary in June, and I am again taking care of my sister and my husband for the past two weeks, and I am looking forward to my son's wedding in May--- my point being- you can do this, and regain that strength and purpose you have always had- living your life again!
Keep Walking!!!

Fran said...

The Buddha said that the definition of unhappiness is not allowing the present moment to bloom, but wishing to be elsewhere. Plans and goals usually means impatience with now. Maybe find some talks by Eckhart Tolle online; he always makes me laugh at myself.
Send loving thoughts to that poor sternum who is doing its best;, not impatience...... you don't ever want to know about those who don't heal!; I have seen many.
After the lecture, I would like to say that I have watched your films on Craftsy, twice each so far, and have learned a tremendous amount. (I didn't ever clue in to the touchy feelings from the loom.....maybe because I started out with rag rugs being my only goal with having a loom, and therefore making a loom do its utmost. When I decided to weave a few scarves, it was a different animal altogether).
I wonder if you would mind answering a couple of questions that I still have.?? I seem to have an extraordinary difficulty getting it all together; sometimes I wonder why I am still at weaving!!
By the way, I have rheumatoid arthritis, and so there are whole weeks and longer that I cannot weave, so I understand your frustration right now, as I have been through all that. I have found that having my loom in plain sight always made me feel that there was a new day when I would be able to, so hope was there. That and Tolle.
Cheers!

MegWeaves said...

My mom, 84, says she's going to be around another five or so years because of her stash. She keeps sending me bits, but then she goes out to buy more, so I think she'll be around longer. By the way, any silk worms on your mulberry? Read on!!

flachs spinnerin said...

be patient, that means, you have much time to do nothing , except dreaming. smiling..beeing happy, that you will be okay in summer.

Sei geduldig, das bedeutet, du hast die wunderbarare Zeit ,nichts zu tun zu müssen, außer träumen, lächeln, im stillen glücklich zu sein, damit du im Sommer wieder okay sein kannst. lieber herzliche Grüße von wiebke.

Peg Cherre said...

Sending all positive thoughts. Yes, healing IS the most important thing. And it happens in its own time. Try some meditation, focus on the breath, and, being the internally motivated woman that you are, do your best to enjoy 'the break.'