New Normal

It feels like my 'normal' for the past 10 years is trying to weave down my stash.  So what's new about that?

Well, my energy levels, for one thing.  One of the adverse effects of the cancer drug is to feel tired.  Even on the lowest possible dose I feel tired all day long and this summer has seen me struggling to overcome that feeling and carry on anyway.

The good news is that the fatigue brain fog is gone, and now that I'm well into the new scarf design, the colour combination possibilities just keep coming.  I currently have six warps wound waiting to go into the loom and ideas for at least another dozen.  I just happen to be out of time right now to do much because I leave tomorrow for a two week trip.

While I am very happy to get out of here and hopefully away from the smoke, it is with a pang as I leave these unwoven warps to await my return.  (Yes, I have packed one wound warp and yarn to wind another - because where I am going there are looms and one of them has my name on it.)

:)

One of the ways I am finding to cope with the Tired is to try let go of my expectations based on my old 'normal'.  My body is not well and in order to stick around I have to take this drug with all its adverse effects.  As usual, if there are 10 adverse effects, I will have 7 of them - to a greater or lesser degree. 

I have also been dealing with the stress and emotional reaction to writing a book, smoke allergy and conference planning.  The fact that I am getting anything done in the studio at all needs to be seen as great progress, not as a failure on my part because I'm not able to weave 3+ hours every day anymore.

So I post here a photo of two of the cones that have been emptied - one yesterday, one this morning.

Every journey begins with a single step.  Every cone emptied is a step in the right direction.  Because it is all progress.  And accepting that this is my new 'normal' - for now at least - means I don't beat myself up because I cannot do what I could, even five years ago, even three years ago.

Currently reading A Tale of Three Cities by Bettany Hughes.  I don't have time to finish it so I may have to request it from the library again once I'm done all this traveling!