Challenges

 

I have never been one to shrink from a challenge.  I like puzzles.  I enjoy learning things.  I like sharing my passion with other like minded folk.  I've been called a story teller and I'm happy with that label.

But I have had a lifetime of it.  One of the questions I ask myself - almost daily lately - is...when have I done 'enough'?  When will I be satisfied?  When can I say I don't need to push myself anymore?  

These are all good questions and deserve answers.

But I don't have any.  Because I just don't know.

Are there still people who want to know what I know?  Are there still people who care about what I say?  Do I care if anyone does?

I have enough ego that the answer to that last one is...yes.

I care about helping people who are struggling to find stuff out - about textiles primarily.  I care about people who feel overwhelmed and at sea, not knowing the way forward.  If I can be a beacon, I try to shine a light.

But I've been doing this for 40+ years and I'm tired.  OTOH, I still see people referencing my information and expressing gratitude, so I keep going.  I keep trying.  I keep learning and then sharing what I have learned.  Because the journey to knowing stuff never ends, if you don't want it to.

I'm currently reading Finding the Mother Tree by Dr. Suzanne Simard.  In this memoir she writes about her childhood, growing up amongst the forests of BC, then trying to figure out why some forests thrived while others died.  Her journey through the humus and root networks of trees and fungi, as she dug deeper - quite literally - into how and why an ecosystem works and what allows it to fail is fascinating.

I'm particularly interested in how she crafted her research experiments - the things she hoped to learn and the things she *actually* learned.  And how she has had an impact on forestry in BC - and beyond.

Now forestry is a pretty niche area of expertise, not unlike textiles, really.  So I have been reading her book and absorbing her journey and thinking about what, if anything, I can contribute now.

It's been a pretty stressful few years.  I was reminded yesterday that it is just 4.5 years since my mother died - a period of time that feels eons longer on the one hand, and just yesterday on the other.  

Because those 4.5 years were filled with many stressful things - house renovations, travel to Europe, the death of another friend from cancer, finally finishing the writing of  The Intentional Weaver, dealing with my own health issues, shutting down my business, the pandemic.  The list goes on.

This past month I have had to come to grips with my own health, yet again.  Accept that what is currently affecting my life will never get better - it's chronic and not subject to being 'fixed' - all I can do is learn, as best I can, to live with it.

And so I am forging ahead with my Next Big Project, partly because it might be my last kick at the can to get some of my knowledge 'out there'.  

Since publishing The Intentional Weaver, I have sold a number of copies and every month - until this one - I have hit my payment threshold.  But not this month.  Not yet.  I self-published.  Any marketing I did was all me - and the people who chose to share the info with their friends.

So if you have found my information helpful - either Magic in the Water or The Intentional Weaver, you can do me the favour of a shout out.  The link to Blurb is in the lower left of the screen, or just go to Blurb and search for my name or the title(s).  They can be purchased as printed or PDF versions.

And if you are looking for a really good book, whether or not you are interested in forestry, do find Dr. Simard's book.  Highly recommended.