The Insistent Muse

 

One of my many small publications - when I look back, I'm actually a bit amazed at how many I have produced.

Now that the dust is settling from the latest book launch, I'm entering the next phase - the marketing.

My previous books had long lead ups to launch so by the time they came out there was already a group of people waiting for it.

Stories from the Matrix went much faster and I didn't say too much about it so now I have to work on getting the word out.

In the meantime, the insistent muse is beginning to tap their foot and yes...I'm writing again.

Once again, I have no idea if what I'm writing will be of any interest whatsoever to anyone else.  But my muse keeps insisting I go to the desktop and punch the keyboard.  There will be a battle royale between my muse and my inner critic at some point in the future.  Because this isn't my first ro-day-o and I know how this cycle goes.

I had no intention to begin writing again right away.  Didn't have a kernel of an idea, frankly, but again a confluence of prods from various directions shoved me to the keyboard.

At this point I'm not sure what I have is readable, or if anyone actually wants to read it, given the work it is going to take to edit, edit, edit, then pay a 'real' editor to bring it into publishable state.

Instead of looking at what I've already written, I keep thinking of more things I want to include.  And I keep adding to the file.

Right now the files are 'out of order' which I will have to address very soon.  The content is chronological - sort of - in the way that life keeps spiraling back to the beginning so I can pick up on a lesson I thought I'd learned previously, but now understand on a deeper level, so need to review and retool so that I can build on the previous experiences.

I would worry about that except I've been reading quite a few biographies and the thing I'm noticing is that many of these memoirs (for they are mostly memoirs) do the same thing.  The person learns something about life, lives their life some more, then needs to go back and learn more about their past lessons in order to keep growing.  A lot like weaving, to be honest.

If I were to categorize what I'm doing with this latest effort is that it is about as close to a memoir as I will ever get.  If I choose to proceed with it.

Most of my life I have thought through challenges or issues that happen in my life by writing them down, thinking them through so I can process them as I search for the words to explain - to myself, mostly - what has happened and where the lesson is.

And this latest writing?  Is a lot of that.  But also, the lessons I have been dealing with are not unique to me - they are part of the human condition.  My lessons, my conclusions, may be different from someone else, but perhaps some people might find them helpful as they work through their own pitfalls on their life's path.

Dunno.  Right now I am writing for me.  An acknowledgement of the lessons I have learned in my life.  Which may, or may not, be useful to someone else, but in the meantime, they are useful to me.  And they may never see light of day.  

Time will tell.  Working title is A Thread Runs Through It.  There.  I've said it, right out loud.