Swimming Upstream

A reminder today that even though it feels as though I'm swimming upstream, the stream will end, the deadlines will come - and go - that I can only do the best I can do.  And that I don't need to do it all by myself.

As women, conditioned to taking care of everyone else, we forget to take heed of the flight attendant - when the oxygen masks drop, put yours on first.  If you help everyone else before you help yourself, you won't be able to help anyone at all, very quickly.

One of the reasons I love the fibre community is that it is comprised of a large number of strong, capable women.  Women who take care of each other.  Who encourage and support each other.  We are very much a community.

Tomorrow will be fraught for me.  I have to get to the lab to do the blood work needed before my cancer clinic appointment.  I have a flu shot booked for 11:30.  And Doug will be unloading and starting the set up of my booth at the university by himself while I go to the clinic for my three month appointment and Rx renewal.

In terms of my health, well, what can I say.  I'm living with cancer.  For me it's a chronic condition, much like people living with other chronic conditions.  I have daily medication to take.  Medication which comes with a list of adverse effects that curtail my life.  On the other hand, I am living with cancer, not currently dying from it.  Truth be told, my cardiac issues will likely take me out before the cancer does.

The next six weeks are a pressure cooker of deadlines.  However, I have lived my life with a rolling thunder of deadlines so that is not new.  What is new is the constant feeling of being unable to do much.  Of feeling fragile.  Tired.

I would say I'm getting old, which is true, but most of my issues are related to adverse drug effects.  So I must daily remind myself that I am not lazy, I'm tired.  I must remind myself to be careful in the words I choose.  I am not a slug, I am resting.  I am not giving up, I am rationing my energy.

I choose to encourage, support and be a cheerleader for others.  I recognize that I am now old enough to mentor younger people.  I have done enough, seen enough, traveled enough that I can begin to step aside and let those with more energy step up.

Wayne Dyer talked about the stages humans go through.  Mentoring was one that he felt was perhaps the most valuable.  So I choose to embrace that role.  Which is one reason why I am so determined to get the book out into the wider world.  So that those who find it useful, will be helped.

As always, Weave Like a Pirate - Accept the things I share, Adapt to make them more appropriate for you, or Reject as being not helpful.  AAR.

But most of all, I embrace my friends who have helped me in getting the book to this point.  I literally could not have done it without you.