Saturday, February 2, 2019

Never Say Never

Snail's Trails and Cat's Paws motif rendered in twill blocks

Life can be funny, sad, interesting, boring - whatever you want to make of it.  Decisions have to be made.  Consequences lived with.

When I chose weaving as a career in 1975, I had no idea where that decision would lead me.  What the consequences - both good and bad - would be.

On the whole?  It's been a good life.  Oh, it's had its challenges, for sure.  Things happened, some of which seemed 'bad' at the time, but led to valuable lessons, or incredible opportunities.

When I co-chaired the ANWG conference in 1995, I vowed 'never again'!  When I self-published Magic in the Water, people asked when my next book would be coming out and I would reply "Not in this lifetime". 

And yet.  And yet.

Here I am, doing both.  Again.

This time I really do think I can safely say "Never again"!

But instead I will say "I can't see myself doing another". 

I took the decision to no longer teach for guilds last year, nervous about the consequences.  Instead of nothing, a couple of opportunities have opened up.  I have shared that I am assisting Tien in her on-line class on colour.  The kind of assistance I can give is supportive, taking care of things like weaving samples (or digging through my copious samples) for examples.  Doing some 'research'. 

But another opportunity has also recently presented itself.  We are still working out the details, but it's local and something I can do at home, not travel.

As my body breaks down and becomes more 'fragile' I want to limit the amount of traveling I do.  I remain committed to teaching the Olds College master weaving program when I can, plus I have one more distant teaching class in September.  But I'm also cutting back on the craft fairs that I do and most likely this year will be the last time I do Calgary. 

My 2020 calendar is...empty.  By now I would be scrambling trying to find teaching dates.  Instead I'm breathing, in, out, in, out, knowing that it is perfectly ok for me to NOT be scrambling anymore.

Like some other teachers, I am cutting back, stepping aside, making room for newer, younger, more energetic teachers to have a chance, let them take up the torch.  For those who find they have the energy to carry on, I say 'brava'!  But it's also ok when someone, like me, finds they just don't. 

Life is a cycle.  People come, they go.  By and large, it's all good.

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