Opening Doors

 

I think that if I could sum up my life in one sentence, it would be that I was constantly looking for the next door to open, then go through...

Sometimes it would open, and sometimes it would close before I got through it.  But always, always, there would be another door.  Somewhere.

One of the reasons I chose weaving (or weaving chose me - sometimes I wonder) was that I could be my own 'boss'.  I could make choices. 

Sometimes the choices weren't much fun, but were necessary to accomplish the end goal.

Sometimes the choices were scary.  Stand up and give a keynote speech to a few hundred people?  Um, ok.

And then sweat bullets until I figured out what to say.  

Do the Guild of Canadian Weavers master weavers certificate?  Sure.  I can work hard.  I can take constructive comments.  (And mostly they were.  Constructive, I mean.)

Self publish a book?  No problem.  Once I had the massive financing in place that made it possible.  And then carried a huge debt load for years before I could get it paid off.  (So for those who assume I made beaucoup de bucks on Magic?  That income barely covered the debt I ran for over 10 years to get it 'born'.)

The pandemic brought new problems.  But I'd 'retired' from teaching and doing shows just as covid was hitting our shores and so it didn't affect me much.  And I had lots to attend to, shutting down my business and dealing with yet another health issue.

The past year has been getting comfortable with the reality of being 'retired' and yet finding other ways to continue my desire to educate weavers as to the principles of the craft.  Once again, I was addressing a niche in the niche market of weaving.

I have had to come to grips with being an 'elder' in a community where I used to be one of the younger ones.  Since I still want to teach, encourage and support, I plunged into the 21st century technology - as best I could.  Several friends stepped up to help me navigate things like Zoom.  Since I'd always rather be weaving than dealing with internet and learning new software, the hand up was welcome.

Today I am poised at another door.  Will I go through?  Depends.  I'm not sure I'm capable of expanding any further than I have done to this point in time.

On the other hand, I never thought I would/could self-publish one book, never mind two.  I never thought I could give one keynote speech, never mind several.  I never thought I might teach all over the place, and yet I did, more and more acting as my own travel agent as my trips became more complex.

And now?  Now I'm about to go peer through another door.  See if what lies on the other side is something I feel I can do.  Or not.

(Dear reader, she looked through, liked what she saw, and tentatively put the first foot across the threshold.  Details as they become share-able.)