Words

 

how it started

how it's going

When I was young I read.  Voraciously.  Gradually I came to the realization that I wanted to write.  But what?

I tried.  I wrote stories and essays in school.  I even took a creative writing class.  And discovered that I didn't actually have anything original to say.

I had a pen friend in high school and into my early adulthood.  We exchanged those flimsy blue air post forms monthly.  I even traveled to Sweden to met her and lived in Sweden for 3 months.  (I say I lived because I didn't stay in a hotel but student residence, needing to buy my own groceries, take city transit, get around on my own, with some help from my friend and the other students still in residence over the summer.  In a foreign language, using a whole lot of facial expressions and gestures and a sprinkling of nouns.  But I digress.)

When I took up weaving I began to write articles.  First for the local guild newsletter, than tentatively submitting for publication.  Plus workshop handouts, fine tuning the language I used, always with the intent to communicate clearly something that was most often best conveyed by actions.

Part of the master weaver certificate was a monograph for the final level and I drew on my experience of writing essays in school in order to first define the purpose of the monograph/research, then set up the investigation of the topic I chose.  I received enormous encouragement and assistance from a number of people who helped push me over the final 'hill' to complete it.  One of my mentors actually proposed co-writing a book but didn't want to address the topic in the way I felt needed to be done to reach my target audience.  So I politely declined.  They took it well and continued to help with other aspects of weaving.  And - I think - actually respected me for standing up for what I felt needed to be done.

Then the internet came along.  I joined in 1994 to promote the conference I was chairing.

By then Magic in the Water was beginning to be formed and was published in time for Convergence in Vancouver, 2002 - a deadline I knew I could not miss.  And then I thought I had said everything I wanted, needed to say.

Except...the internet weaving groups were growing and there were so many people who rather desperately wanted to learn and were having problems accessing good information.

Eventually some really good teachers began creating content for the internet, first on You Tube, then on their own websites or other platforms.  Including me.

And still I wrote.  

Handwoven cover with my scarf

It is a little embarrassing at times to think about how many times I have said essentially the same thing, over and over and over again, trying to find a different way to say it.  Because not everyone learns in the same way, or has the same background to build on, or even uses the same language.

Weaving does have its own language (as do the other skilled crafts) and if you don't have access to learning that language it becomes even more difficult to learn.

In 2008 my life was shaken, HARD, and turned upside down and I mostly withdrew from the internet for a time.  Several people had been urging me to start a blog and as I came out the other side of major life changes, I finally started this blog.  

As I began to feel better, I put more energy into teaching after having had to take a hiatus due to Life Happening.  My focus changed from production to more teaching.  Needing to sell Magic, I also started selling yarns, doing fibre fairs as well as craft fairs.  And I enjoyed meeting new weavers and interacting with them.  

Eventually I began teaching the Olds College program and after a particular demonstration, one of the students asked if there was a book that had all the info I'd just presented.  Doing a quick mental trolling of my memory banks, I realized that no one book had all of that information.  And I realized that I did, in fact, have a second book in me that needed to come out.

Life did not actually become easier in the early 2010s.  In many ways it became more difficult, and I did the writer's tango, starting, stopping, side stepping, adding flourishes, editing them out.  A job that should have taken two years took more like 5, and only because I hired an editor to do the final push to whip that manuscript into publishable shape.  And then self-published, like I'd done with Magic.  (link at the bottom of the page.)

For the past year and a bit I have tried, via this blog, to encourage people to follow COVID protocols, and stay hopeful while everything (it felt like) shut down - workshops, classes, guild meetings, fibre festivals.  I tried to provide good information, and encouragement to hang in, hang on, keep moving forward.

In the end, it's all just words.  But I reflect on my younger self, really wanting to play with words.  And I think if I could talk to my younger self, I would tell her to hang in, hang on, that she would one day write.  It is up to others if I've done a good job.  I just need to write.