Reflections

 

This morning I was up early (for me) and as I walked into the living room with my morning coffee saw this lovely sight on the floor.

As the sun moves across the sky it casts a different image on the floor and wall during its journey.

The past few days we've had smoke pall but today was much nicer.  It's also not quite as hot, so that was also pleasant.

I have put weaving on the Megado on hold while I deal with a project on the Leclerc but what I have been learning over the past couple of years (it's been just over 2 years when I made the decision to 'retire') is to stay focused on what I need to do in the moment and not fuss too much about all the other things stacking up that also need my attention.

'Retiring' - as in closing my business - freed up a lot of time and mental energy because I no longer needed to do the administrivia of keeping a business ticking over - bills to pay and tracking finances being the biggest irritation.

After about 18 months of weaving tea towels I can't quite believe I have yet more yarn to use up - weaving tea towels.  And yet, here I am.

The pandemic took a lot of pressure off me as well as I was being 'forced' into a new way of life.  Even if I *hadn't* retired (as in doing shows, traveling to teach) I would have been forced into stopping those things.  Since I'd already made the decision, the reinforcement of needing to isolate and stay home just kind of took a lot of pressure off of me.  Events I'd thought to attend as a member of the public got cancelled - conferences, workshops, even teaching for Olds - all cancelled.  So there was no need to leave my house if I didn't absolutely have to.

So I got comfortable with a much slower paced life.  Generally I get up around 8 and lounge around most of the morning, then spend a couple of hours in the studio before stopping to make dinner and do handwork (or not) in the evenings.

I'm not producing much.  But neither do I need to.

Now that I'm beginning another trip round the sun, I have thought about the coming year.  Thought about pandemics, and the nature thereof.  Thought about human nature and behaviour.  And pretty much decided that my life isn't going to change much in the coming months.

I do have some samples to weave for another teacher/weaver, and I do have some plans for more on line teaching.  But those may - or may not - come to fruition.  I have reached the stage where - if they fall through - I won't be terribly sad.  At little sad, but that's ok.  I am also old enough now to know that something else will come along.  Either someone will contact me, or I'll come up with another Big Idea.

But I no longer NEED to do these things.  I only need to WANT to do them.

And if that means I'm getting 'old' or even 'grown up' well, that's just another stage in life, part of the cycle of birth, living, and...not living.

One of my mentors died a few weeks ago and I found out yesterday.  So perhaps endings are just front of mind today.

Anyway.  Time to get to the loom.  Someone is counting on me to get this woven.  And I don't want to stand in their way by delaying getting the weaving done.