Having reached the age where my body has begun falling apart, I have now acquired, um, 5 different therapists? In addition to my dentist, eye doctors, family doctor, oncologist, etm.
One of the hard lessons I have had to learn is there is no more 'bulldozing' through things. So today, when I had been expecting to weave two sessions, I find myself 'nursing' my feet after having had a therapy session today. Probably should not have gone 'shopping' afterwards, but...needs must.
My body is...complicated.
Oh, I know, it isn't any more complicated than anyone else's! But the answers to what is going 'wrong' with my body seem to be subtle (who knew?) and answers are difficult to sort out. Some things I just have to live with, apparently. But the therapist today says if the current approach works, I might just wind up with a more functional body, after all.
After multiple disappointments, I'm trying really hard to NOT get my hopes up. All I want is to be able to keep weaving. If that means taking a rest day after a therapy session, I guess...I rest.
People used to remark at how patient I am, given I play with string (in a variety of different ways) but I'm not. Patient, that is. I want to see results for my effort. It just means that I don't need instant gratification and am willing to invest my time and energy to get those results (or close enough). Yes, even if it takes time, frequently weeks, to complete something.
I mean, you don't need patience for something you enjoy doing, right?
We had a bit of a cold snap the past few days, but it is supposed to begin warming up and it is feeling like spring might actually be on its way.
I really don't want to get my hopes up, but honestly? If this therapy works, there is a chance I could actually start teaching again.
Had a conversation with the guild treasurer today, and we discussed how to encourage and support our 'baby' weavers. And I found myself saying that if this new therapy works, there is a chance I could actually teach for my local guild again.
And now? Now that seed has been planted and I'm left wondering...can I teach? Do I want to? Do I dare to think that it might be possible?
Sigh.
OTOH, while I was out my yarn order from Brassard arrived. So now I *really* want to finish off the current warp and get started on the next.
Tomorrow. Only a day away. I could always make some lace?
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2 comments:
Oh, Laura, please take time to really consider what you want to add back into your life if the new treatment works. It may be that what you have done before is now over and time to consider what would make you happiest with the rest of your time! When I had my third child, I dropped a lot of commitments, and then when the dust settled, I had the time to consider what to add back into my life. Just saying--this may be a golden opportunity! Juli
The thing I really miss and would love to add back into my life is teaching for the local guild. We have a small group of 'baby' weavers who need more help to really get going and right now I just can't. But if this works, there is a possibility that I could. So...I'm giving this 'hail Mary' a try, see what happens.
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