Not Broken

 

A couple of days ago a friend posted this image on her social media.  It was a timely reminder.

I had been feeling extra exhausted, extra tired, extra discouraged, for a number of reasons.  The image reminded me that it was time to stop.  To rest.  To remove myself from the fray for a while so that I could recover.

Yesterday another friend commented on how much they appreciated my energy of helping others.  By then I'd had nearly two days of not trying to help, not trying to cheerlead with droopy pom-poms and was beginning to feel like I could go on again.

There is so much that is broken in our world.  So many people struggling for so many reasons.  And now a year of living pandemically with all of the uncertainty and stress of not knowing if one will become ill (because the virus doesn't care who you are or what your current struggles are, you're a warm body) or finances, or vulnerable family members who may need care they can't get due to the pandemic.

My supply of patience, never large to begin with - think cup, not well - had dried up.  

This little image reminded me that I was running low on oxygen and needed to put my mask on.  I was running out of tea in my teapot and I can't serve others when pouring from an empty pot.

Et cetera.

Over the two days when I chose not to post here, for fear of having my feelings turn into a gigantic whine-fest, I set some boundaries, dealt with one thing that was stressful, came up with a strategy to complete some things, and took time to just sit and read.

I am also not happy with the state of my health in terms of my weight.  Lack of activity means increase in weight and I am not comfortable in my own skin.  I have been haunting my weather app and next week it tells me temperatures should enter double digits, so I am gearing myself up to begin walking.  Yes, even if it is raining.  I do have a nice raincoat with hood and as my father used to say, I'm not made from sugar, I won't melt.  I am also feeling better enough physically to contemplate adding physical exercise in the form a a gentle walk around the neighbourhood to my day.  I will begin slow and then add the steep hill to my walk once I've built up some muscles, just like I did after my by-pass surgery.  Start slow, work up to it.

We are entering a very difficult time now in regards to the pandemic.  Vaccines are rolling out and into arms here in Canada and we get our first next week.  But the pandemic isn't over yet, not by a long chalk.  Variants are causing huge spikes in cases in my province and they are hitting younger people harder.  People are tired of the uncertainty, worried about finances, worried about their jobs, their houses, wanting to go back to work and school and just get a hug from their loved ones.

Now is not the time to give in and stop following pandemic protocols.  Now, more than ever, we need to stay the course.

Stay safe.  Stay well.  Stay covid aware.