February. The darkest month, in spite of returning longer days. The month when hibernation seems like a good strategy to get through the rest of the winter.
With both of us down for the count with colds, it has been a struggle to get up, get dressed, do anything more than just get through the day, hoping tomorrow will be better.
And it is. But each day drags by leaving lack of energy and unaccomplished goals.
Part of me rails against the wasted time, the goals not met, the things not done. Part of me admonishes Inner Critic to just shut up already. I'm sick and 65, not 35, pushing through isn't going to make this cold go away...in fact it might make it linger.
So I do what I can, watch the days on the calendar flip by and worry that I will miss an important deadline.
On the other hand nothing is really critical right now. I won't make my word count but I have been thinking a lot about my target audience. Who is it, and what do they want/need? Is another beginning weaving book necessary? Since it will be an ebook, not print, the market is going to be limited, anyway, so it will never be a 'best' seller.
And so my thinking at the minute is that whatever I produce is perhaps best suited for the beyond beginner weaver. The weaver that wants to go deeper than just replicating other people's designs, the weaver who wants to delve below the obvious, the weaver who wants to weave with, yes, intent.
I don't know if I can produce something that will add significantly to the weaving world, but neither do I just want to repeat what others before me have done.
Sometimes a fallow period will bring clarity. Hibernation doesn't mean nothing gets accomplished. Spring is around the corner and growth and rejuvenation will happen after the 'rest' of winter.