Of Resolutions and Gratitude

Here are a couple of the scarves Teresa dyed after I wove them in white and black silk.

As 2008 slowly ticks away, I can't help contrast this year's end with last year's end. And think about all that has changed, and all that hasn't.

For the last 3 or 4 years, my new year's resolution was Stash Reduction! Generally I've done pretty well at using up or selling off a fairly hefty chunk of my yarns. Even with not being able to weave at all for several months this year, I did a pretty good job of weaving quite a lot of my yarns when I could weave. :) And even accumulated more yarns when Lynn gifted me with some of her fine linens in October. :D

As I look around my storage room, I still see great mounds of yarns that need to be used up. Some of it has been shipped out for the workshops I'm teaching in '09, but there is also a lot that I'll have to use up myself, for one reason or another.

In addition to what's here,Teresa has more wound warps to paint and which I'll eventually get around to weaving once she's got them dyed.

So what has changed from this time last year? I no longer deal with bone-crushing fatigue and chronic pain - the two most obvious things that changed once my condition was recognized and dealt with. For that alone, I am truly grateful on a daily basis.

The other thing that changed was the nameless dread that followed me every day has now gone. When I think about how I was feeling just one year ago, I am once again amazed at the strength and resiliency of the human body and spirit. I wonder now how I could even move, let alone weave, dye, travel long distances to do shows and teach, given how I had been feeling.

I am also enormously grateful for a doctor who was willing to listen when I told him how sick I was this summer, and who was open to my suggestion that I was having a massive adverse reaction to the statin drugs. I'm not entirely sure that the Ezetrol is something I should be taking either, but that's something for the end of January when I see him again. I'll ask for a check of my liver enzymes to make sure nothing untoward is happening there. If I can't take the Ezetrol I'm not sure what else is available but I know there are some other medications to try yet.

What hasn't changed is my love of weaving. What hasn't changed is that I can now, finally, weave like I used to do - something I wasn't sure I was going to be able to achieve given how ill I was feeling this summer.

Whether or not I will continue to weave at this pace once my stash is used up I don't know. Neither do I know if I will continue to travel long distances to do shows and teach. Right now I'm just focusing on meeting my current obligations for '09 and will wait to see what opportunities come after those are met.

Every day I try to remember and be grateful that Doug and I are still alive, still learning whatever Life has to teach us, still able to be creative, and hopefully - helpful to others.

Life is full of challenges. We have been lucky that until this year our challenges were relatively minor - hindsight is always so clear - and that we have managed to survive this year after all.

May all your challenges be minor. May your warps be well tensioned, bobbins wound well, and any surprises that happen on the loom or in the wet finishing be pleasant.