Good Idea

 

old photo of some of my silk stash

Sometimes I get a 'good idea', mull it over, don't see any down sides and then proceed with it.

And it doesn't turn out the way I would like.

When I have minimal numbers of spoons for each day, I have little in the way of energy or desire to fight with a warp.

So it has been with the current warp.

I had a couple bins of left over spools that I'd used to make silk scarves.  I also inherited a huge amount of silk yarn, most of it single skeins of various colours.

What to do?  What to do?

So I went ahead and beamed a white warp to use up the spools because I was going to need them to wind all the dyed skeins onto the spools.  

But.

But none of the spools had enough yarn on them to wind a warp.  So I had to keep stopping and tie another spool onto the end of one of the threads that had run out.  In the end, I didn't even have enough yarn to wind a 12" wide warp, but gave up when I reached 10".

The warp is a mixture of 2/20 and 2/30.  Not a deal breaker, but still, not ideal.  The deal breaker is the fact that so many spools ran out and needed to be replaced that that narrow warp has a tonne of knots in it.  I tried to replace the ends before they ran out but didn't quite manage it.  So not only is the warp too narrow (as in narrower than planned) it has multiple knots in it.

And then the weft.

I had planned on using my cashmere skeins.  

But again, unforeseen problems.  Some of the skeins had matted and were 'felted' so that they didn't want to come apart.  Instead the yarn kept breaking.  One bag had critter carcasses, and I figured some sort of bug had gotten into that bag and the yarn was likely also compromised.  As I tried to wind off one skein, it kept breaking as well.

At the end of a tiring day, I had enough.  All of the cashmere skeins went into the recycle bin.

With exactly one scarf woven out of a planned 6.

I looked at the silk bin again and realized I had two skeins of a medium value grey which would look nice on the white warp and began winding bobbins.  

With just one skein of most of the 2/30 and 2/20 silk, there isn't really enough yarn to use it as warp and have enough for weft (I don't think).  So I thought about what else I could use.  

In addition to the cashmere (now history) I have some very fine wool, about the same thickness as the finer weight cashmere which I used doubled in a two bobbin shuttle.  So I'm going to go ahead with my plans for silk warps, but I'll use the worsted wool, also doubled.

While I'm winding the silk skeins onto spools, I'll continue picking away at the white warp.  I'm not sure I'll bother weaving until it is 'done' or give up on it when I've used up the two skeins of the grey.  I could use black, but I'm not in the mood for a high contrast black on white.  

I'm trying really hard to use up as much of my yarn stash as I can.  What will I do when I run out?

I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Seriously.  I have enough stuff going on in my life that I cannot see more than a few months into the future.

However, I did finish the rough draft of the next article for WEFT.  My alpha reader has the file and will pick nits.  And then I'll do the edits and bundle the whole thing up and email it all to the editor.

Once that is gone, I will then begin giving more serious consideration to my future.  

This morning I talk to the pain doc (hopefully) and will try to figure out a way forward.  I am seeing positive gains on one front, although as usual the path to recovery is not short and not smooth.  I'm hoping to get a better perspective on what is going on in my body.  So far I can still weave, although I've cut back to 30 minutes a day.  I'm hoping I can increase that if I can get another injection in my lower back.  But I think my back is less stable than it was and I don't know what that means for me in terms of continuing to weave.

The past couple of weeks have been spent reflecting on what is going on, personally, nationally and internationally.  All of it is very concerning.  I'm hoping to feel up to reading because I didn't feel capable of tackling Humans; the 300,000 year struggle for equality.  It is a lot more 'chewy' than I had the spoons for.  Perhaps after I talk to the doc I'll have more focus.  It's hard to focus when you are flailing.  And fighting with a warp.

But I will keep mulling over things.  And who knows, maybe I will have a 'lightbulb' moment and finally figure out what I need to be doing.

Driver's Manual

 

I get it.  People are interested in weaving.  So they buy a loom and then...ask for a 'manual' for the type of loom they bought - usually second (or more) hand loom.  Sometimes they know so little they don't even know if the loom is complete.

Or they wonder which brand it is - because the 'manual' didn't come with it.

It's like buying a car then expecting the Owner's Manual to teach you how to drive.

There is a vast distance between owning a piece of kit and knowing how to use it.

What I wish is that every person interested in weaving would buy a 'how to weave' book *first* and then get a loom.  

I mean there are lots of books that will teach a person how to weave.  I know several people who learned how to weave with a copy of Mary Black or Margaret Atwater or Deborah Chandler in one hand while sitting at the loom/warping board, etc.

It can be done.  But don't expect the loom's owners manual to teach you how to weave, is all I'm saying.

(That said, if you go to the Leclerc website you *can* download the small book that Robert Leclerc wrote that will teach you how to weave, illustrated with Leclerc products.)

There are so many 'how to weave' books available that everyone should be able to find one that suits their learning style.  

Of course, in person is 'best'.  To demonstrate a process/technique is much quicker than to try to read through a lot of weaver language that you probably don't understand - yet.

So if you are really truly wanting to learn, I advise you to buy a book and read through it.  Absorb the language.  It's 'sleying' not 'slaying' (I know auto correct will tell you it's wrong, but it isn't), and while I'm on it, it's dyeing, not dying.  No one wants you to die for the craft, but will encourage you to dye for it.

I wrote my book as a way to help people weave 'better'*.  I cover things like ergonomics, fibre characteristics, how to read a draft, how different weave structures work.  I talk about the relationship of the various factors in designing a cloth interact.  It's not a 'how to weave' book as such, but how *I* weave.  And if you want to weave like me, I tell you how I do it.  But ultimately, you have to decide what works for you, given your equipment, physical attributes, what quality of cloth you want to make, using the yarns you want to make them with.

Because change one thing, and everything can change.

Keep in mind that as a new weaver you are first and foremost making a weaver.  Once you have gained enough experience to understand the dynamics of the craft, then you can work on 'perfect' textiles.  And no, there will likely never come a time when you stop making mistakes.  But if you have been paying attention you will  have also learned how to fix them.  And learned also to accept 'good' if you didn't quite manage 'perfect'.  Not that I don't *want* my textiles to be perfect!  Far from it.  But I also know when a mistake will affect the textile adversely in performing its function, and when I can be human and perfectly imperfect, at times.

If you can't manage an in person class, I have classes on line at School of Sweet Georgia and Long Thread Media (Handwoven)

*Please note - I am Canadian and I write in Canadian English.  All those spelling 'mistakes' you see are not typos.  That is true for all of my books, my articles in WEFT - because they use the form of English that the author of the article uses, and do not convert them to US English default.  

Life's GPS

 

6 shaft 4 block Bronson Lace

One of my favourite weave structures to design with is Bronson Lace.

Yesterday I worked on the article for WEFT (no this isn't a draft from the article) and was reminded how neat, how tidy the weave structure is.  And how much freedom I have because I know how to weave it in pick up.

I'm not a fan of doing pick up because it is so slow, but I don't mind picking up Bronson Lace, especially if I can use my floor loom as a mechanized pick up apparatus.

I have always lived my life reflecting about the meaning of Life.  I'm drawn to think about how we live.  How we interact with others.

Confession time - I have not always been the best person.  I look back with some dismay at the stumbles I've taken.  The opportunities to be kind that I messed up.  I regret them very much.  But every time I pause to reflect over some new offence I have committed, I vow to do better.  Be better.

I am far enough along in the current stage of 'recovery' or healing that I am beginning to look ahead.  I asked for feedback on what I should focus on and one person responded that I should do what I loved to do (I paraphrase).  

And ultimately I know that.  But I have a number of ways open before me and I'm exhausted.  So I was hoping for an indication of where I should expend my tiny amount of energy.  

After thinking about this for a number of days and just one response I am left to try and figure out which path to take.  Which, ultimately, is how it should be.  It is, after all, my life I am living.

With a number of paths to choose from, I have decided to leave my options open.  In the face of increased intrusions of things like LLM/AI into every nook and cranny of our lives I have decided to make some different choices.  It may cost me more, but I refuse to have data companies able to mine my data - as much as I can.  I know I can't avoid it entirely.  But I can do my best.

I am divesting myself of the worst of the lot, or minimizing my exposure to those companies.  I am making different choices from the obvious service providers.  Again, it may cost me more, but I don't care.  

I choose NOT to use GPS, but take my time to thoughtfully make my decisions.  It has how I have always lived my life.  It seems appropriate to continue to do so.

Am I 'scared'?  Yes, it is scary.  But I have never let myself be swayed because something was unknown and scary.  If I did I would never have set foot on that freighter out of Montreal and sailed to Sweden when I was 19.  

It was, perhaps, THE formative transformation I chose to make.  With the help of strangers I not only survived, I succeeded.  

I am going to continue to think, consider, weigh my options.  My recovery is early days - and to be honest, it is only *one* of the physical issues that is improving right now - and I don't have to make any hard and fast decisions today.  So I have just set up some new options and will take time to get used to them and continue to consider what I need to be doing with my life.

Doug reminded me I have a very large box of card stock (or heavy paper) which is left over from the original Magic in the Water.  I have, from time to time, designed woven samples and published small booklets with actual samples.  I could do that again.  Or not.  I could publish monographs and sell them in pdf format via my ko-fi shop.  I could hold remote presentations and run the meetings myself.  Study groups?  Lectures series (I have 11 already written).  One-on-one tutoring.

These are the options I am considering.  

Round and round the roulette wheel goes - where the ball drops...is anybody's guess.

Carrots. Sticks.

 

if life were easy...

Anyone following this blog for any time will be aware that I've managed to stumble through a bunch of health issues.  

If it was 'easy', everyone would be doing it?

Anyway, it has NOT been 'easy', and I'm a long way away from being fully functional.  However, as the neurosurgeon said to me "Don't wait until you are healed to live your life."

On the other hand, I seem to be gaining ground and managing to consider what the future would hold for me.

The last time I talked to my therapist, she asked me to consider what I want to be (she didn't add 'when you grow up', but...)

I have thought about that question for almost two weeks and I still am not exactly sure how to answer that question.

Every time I think about it, all I can come up with is....more.

Mostly?  More teaching.  More sharing.  More encouraging.  As well as more kind, more caring, more helpful.

Given my current physical issues, how do I do that?

Well, we now have the internet.  I have been writing this blog since 2008.  During the worst of the covid pandemic, I produced 11 presentations geared to being 'broadcast' via the internet.  And then began offering them as guild programs/seminars - until August 28, 2024 when I had the brain bleed.

But they are already written.  So I have a script to keep me on track.  I presented one of them in January this year and have another booked for the 28th of Feb.  

So, do I gear up and offer the seminars again?  Myself?  Not wait for a guild to contact me, then deal with 6 am wakeups to present first thing in *their* morning (dark o'clock for me)?

Or do I go ahead and set up the seminars and offer them - for a price/fee?

I see so many new weavers floundering with questions, really good in-depth questions, questions that I find myself not able to answer within the confines of a chat group reply box.  

So, I write articles for WEFT.  But I have other things I want to say/write, outside of their editorial focus.  I already wrote not 1, not 2, but 3 books.  But since I wrote those I have learned more.  And sometimes what I want to say goes beyond even a blog post parameters.

Do I write 'articles', edit and then self-publish and sell them as a pdf download?  Not sure I have the spoons or technology to do that.

Or do I recycle the 2 hour seminars and offer them?

Do I book 'Ask me anything' sessions?  Or one on one tutoring?

So I respectfully ask - what do YOU think I should do?

Email me laura at laurafry dot com

Let's talk.

Avalanche

 

I had to take this photo at an angle in order to show up the motif.  White on white is very difficult to photograph, but I think this turned out ok.

This is the same threading I used for the last warp (tea towels with the highly energized/twisted weft) and I thought it was quite pretty and wanted to show it off.

In the theme of KISS, it is a fairly simple progression to thread, and of course, the dobby makes it easy to weave.  When the loom is behaving.  I had some issues on the last warp with one shaft not behaving properly, but I'm hoping that is fixed now.

The selvedges aren't 'perfect' but much of the problem will be disguised during wet finishing.  And the beat is not 'perfect' as mentioned yesterday.  But I don't much care.  It feels 'right' for a nice dressy scarf as it is, so the diamonds are not perfect - and I find I don't care.  The beat is consistent, and if you can't be perfect...

I'm hoping that the hard press during wet finishing will bring up the shine of the silk compared to the mat of the cashmere.  The effect is subtle and that's fine, too.  Not everything has to be eye catching.

And that's the thing when you weave your own textiles, especially if you design them yourself.  You get to choose.

I find myself constantly intrigued by the various parameters involved in those choices, finding a path through the effect of one choice on the others.  

Not everyone wants to follow a 'plan' however.  And that's also fine.  Because we are not bound to follow rules - we can ignore them when it suits us.  

But our choices come with consequences.  And if you are okay with those consequences you can make whatever choices you want.

My goal, first and foremost, has always to make cloth that will serve a purpose.  So every choice I make I keep the end result in mind and try to be aware of how my choices will play off of each other and affect the finished textile.

As such, I have - over the decades (lordy, lordy, I feel *old* when I say that, but I have been weaving for a very long time) tried various things, woven countless samples, built a foundation of knowledge.

But the life so short, the craft so long to learn.  

Roller Coaster (CW - health issues)

 

Even as (some) things get 'better', (some) things get 'worse'.

So hey, I'm still here.  I'm not doing much right now, though.  My body seems to hate me, although in reality it is just complaining.  Mostly about how many times I 'pushed through' whatever it was I was dealing with at the time.

'Rode hard, put away wet' is a phrase I learned from some people I know who ride horses.  And it pretty much sums up the majority of my life.

The therapy I'm getting is part of the 'salad' of my life.  I am finally coming out of De Nile and actually dealing with some stuff that I, well, stuffed down and out of sight, but obviously not out of mind.

I've been advised to treat myself with compassion right now as I dig out the trauma that has been the bedrock of my life, for all of my life.

So I'm trying really hard to stay focused on encouraging healing to arrive in my conscious mind.  But when you have buried something for 75+ years, digging it out again is going to cause some emotional chaos.

Plus the physical effects of working too hard, not resting and/or healing enough before picking up the load and staggering onwards.

I tried to get started on the article late last week, and after a good start, I fell off the wagon.  And the rough draft is sitting to my right, within my peripheral vision.  I'm trying really hard to not feel guilty.  I still have time.  I can wait a few more days

The next two weeks are a bit of a challenge as I have appointments - massage, therapy, doctor (2 of them) and while I wait I feel reluctance to push forward.  It all feels like a hill too high, the road too rough.

I did manage to thread the silk warp.  Today my goal is to sley and tie up.  If I have enough spoons, weave a sample to check my plans.  Because reality will intrude the second I start throwing the shuttle.

And who knows, if that goes well, I may feel able to pick up that rough draft and add some more content to it.

In the meantime, reality carries on.  It is too warm, with too little snowpack in the mountains.  When the rains come this early the snow melts and because the ground is frozen, the water drains away.  And nothing is left to deliver moisture to the thirsty ground when the dry summer days come.  Which means that this year could become another blistering misery with multiple wildfires and too little water for, well, anything.

But there is nothing I can do about that, not really.  So instead I will try to continue to do what I can - answer questions, write (I have this article to do, and then maybe another - they aren't quite to the contract issuing stage), this blog, answers on a couple weaving groups I belong to, questions via School of Sweet Georgia, etc.

Today I'm going to try to book the guild room for another Weavers Show and Share.  They are having a Grand Re-Opening to show the guild members the 'new' guild room space this week.  I won't go because I don't do large crowds anymore.  Because on top of every other damn thing I'm dealing with, I'm *still* immune compromised.  And for me Covid is not 'over'.  (Nor measles, RSV, flu, colds et bloody cetera.)

If you can, if you are feeling overwhelmed, try to find one small positive thing you can do.  Maybe clean a little corner of some clutter if you can.  Send an encouraging note to a friend who may be feeling a decided lack of spoons/energy.  Spend time at your craft, bringing something new into being.  Create something.  

My dad always looked at something that someone had made, maybe a cake mom had baked, and would tell others that 'my wife built it'.  If he is still around looking down on me, I hope he is watching what I have done with my life and is telling others in heaven that 'my daughter built it'.  

Resources for Learning

 

Jacquard woven hanging by Sandra Rude

Sandra Rude Grant

The Complex Weavers will be meeting soon, and they have just announced their event details, one of which is a memorial grant in honour of Sandra Rude.

I first 'met' Sandra when I was a member of WeaveTech.  We had several conversations online, and then I was able to meet her at a conference.  We continued to stay in touch now and then, and when she died, it was a blow.

I remember her as a very kind person, very supportive as I went through a number of health issues.   When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2011 she sent me this wall hanging.  I had been anticipating losing my hair during chemo and she chose to remind me that even the mighty oak will lose it's leaves, but it remains strong and beautiful.

It was such a thoughtful gift and the textile still hangs in my living room - a subtle reminder to stay rooted in my strength (or stubbornness, whatever)

Anyway, if you are interested in attending Complex Weavers Seminars but having trouble with finances, you could apply for the Sandra Rude Memorial Grant.