Avalanche

 

I had to take this photo at an angle in order to show up the motif.  White on white is very difficult to photograph, but I think this turned out ok.

This is the same threading I used for the last warp (tea towels with the highly energized/twisted weft) and I thought it was quite pretty and wanted to show it off.

In the theme of KISS, it is a fairly simple progression to thread, and of course, the dobby makes it easy to weave.  When the loom is behaving.  I had some issues on the last warp with one shaft not behaving properly, but I'm hoping that is fixed now.

The selvedges aren't 'perfect' but much of the problem will be disguised during wet finishing.  And the beat is not 'perfect' as mentioned yesterday.  But I don't much care.  It feels 'right' for a nice dressy scarf as it is, so the diamonds are not perfect - and I find I don't care.  The beat is consistent, and if you can't be perfect...

I'm hoping that the hard press during wet finishing will bring up the shine of the silk compared to the mat of the cashmere.  The effect is subtle and that's fine, too.  Not everything has to be eye catching.

And that's the thing when you weave your own textiles, especially if you design them yourself.  You get to choose.

I find myself constantly intrigued by the various parameters involved in those choices, finding a path through the effect of one choice on the others.  

Not everyone wants to follow a 'plan' however.  And that's also fine.  Because we are not bound to follow rules - we can ignore them when it suits us.  

But our choices come with consequences.  And if you are okay with those consequences you can make whatever choices you want.

My goal, first and foremost, has always to make cloth that will serve a purpose.  So every choice I make I keep the end result in mind and try to be aware of how my choices will play off of each other and affect the finished textile.

As such, I have - over the decades (lordy, lordy, I feel *old* when I say that, but I have been weaving for a very long time) tried various things, woven countless samples, built a foundation of knowledge.

But the life so short, the craft so long to learn.  

Roller Coaster (CW - health issues)

 

Even as (some) things get 'better', (some) things get 'worse'.

So hey, I'm still here.  I'm not doing much right now, though.  My body seems to hate me, although in reality it is just complaining.  Mostly about how many times I 'pushed through' whatever it was I was dealing with at the time.

'Rode hard, put away wet' is a phrase I learned from some people I know who ride horses.  And it pretty much sums up the majority of my life.

The therapy I'm getting is part of the 'salad' of my life.  I am finally coming out of De Nile and actually dealing with some stuff that I, well, stuffed down and out of sight, but obviously not out of mind.

I've been advised to treat myself with compassion right now as I dig out the trauma that has been the bedrock of my life, for all of my life.

So I'm trying really hard to stay focused on encouraging healing to arrive in my conscious mind.  But when you have buried something for 75+ years, digging it out again is going to cause some emotional chaos.

Plus the physical effects of working too hard, not resting and/or healing enough before picking up the load and staggering onwards.

I tried to get started on the article late last week, and after a good start, I fell off the wagon.  And the rough draft is sitting to my right, within my peripheral vision.  I'm trying really hard to not feel guilty.  I still have time.  I can wait a few more days

The next two weeks are a bit of a challenge as I have appointments - massage, therapy, doctor (2 of them) and while I wait I feel reluctance to push forward.  It all feels like a hill too high, the road too rough.

I did manage to thread the silk warp.  Today my goal is to sley and tie up.  If I have enough spoons, weave a sample to check my plans.  Because reality will intrude the second I start throwing the shuttle.

And who knows, if that goes well, I may feel able to pick up that rough draft and add some more content to it.

In the meantime, reality carries on.  It is too warm, with too little snowpack in the mountains.  When the rains come this early the snow melts and because the ground is frozen, the water drains away.  And nothing is left to deliver moisture to the thirsty ground when the dry summer days come.  Which means that this year could become another blistering misery with multiple wildfires and too little water for, well, anything.

But there is nothing I can do about that, not really.  So instead I will try to continue to do what I can - answer questions, write (I have this article to do, and then maybe another - they aren't quite to the contract issuing stage), this blog, answers on a couple weaving groups I belong to, questions via School of Sweet Georgia, etc.

Today I'm going to try to book the guild room for another Weavers Show and Share.  They are having a Grand Re-Opening to show the guild members the 'new' guild room space this week.  I won't go because I don't do large crowds anymore.  Because on top of every other damn thing I'm dealing with, I'm *still* immune compromised.  And for me Covid is not 'over'.  (Nor measles, RSV, flu, colds et bloody cetera.)

If you can, if you are feeling overwhelmed, try to find one small positive thing you can do.  Maybe clean a little corner of some clutter if you can.  Send an encouraging note to a friend who may be feeling a decided lack of spoons/energy.  Spend time at your craft, bringing something new into being.  Create something.  

My dad always looked at something that someone had made, maybe a cake mom had baked, and would tell others that 'my wife built it'.  If he is still around looking down on me, I hope he is watching what I have done with my life and is telling others in heaven that 'my daughter built it'.  

Resources for Learning

 

Jacquard woven hanging by Sandra Rude

Sandra Rude Grant

The Complex Weavers will be meeting soon, and they have just announced their event details, one of which is a memorial grant in honour of Sandra Rude.

I first 'met' Sandra when I was a member of WeaveTech.  We had several conversations online, and then I was able to meet her at a conference.  We continued to stay in touch now and then, and when she died, it was a blow.

I remember her as a very kind person, very supportive as I went through a number of health issues.   When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2011 she sent me this wall hanging.  I had been anticipating losing my hair during chemo and she chose to remind me that even the mighty oak will lose it's leaves, but it remains strong and beautiful.

It was such a thoughtful gift and the textile still hangs in my living room - a subtle reminder to stay rooted in my strength (or stubbornness, whatever)

Anyway, if you are interested in attending Complex Weavers Seminars but having trouble with finances, you could apply for the Sandra Rude Memorial Grant.

Building Foundations

 

I got back to the desktop yesterday and started working on the text and diagrams for the next article.

I don't expect them to use the diagram above - they have 'nicer' graphics software - but I wanted to provide the draft information to explain the 3 options for threading this particular weave structure.  So many new weavers don't understand how to 'read' this information and get all confused.  But this weave structure is an example of how things are not as they might seem to be.

A new weaver may assume that plain weave is always treadle a being tied to shaft 1+3 and treadle b is always tied to 2+4.  

(By 'a' and 'b' I am using the 'usual' notation that was common pre-computer days, where a small a and small b referred to the two plain weave treadles.)

In this case, Bronson Lace does not have those two treadles, but the two treadles on the left are the plain weave options.

I've had new weavers tell me that's incorrect, they want the plain weave treadles.  But here's the thing, you treadle the shafts that will result in plain weave.  And if you look at what those far left treadles are doing, they *are* weaving plain weave.

Then some new weavers get confused by the blue parts of the draft.  At this point, the weaver should be just isolating the actual threads.  In that part of the draft, there are no actual threads in the draft - I am simply trying to isolate the units that comprise Bronson Lace.  

Generally with a 2 block/unit Bronson Lace you can 'program' (thread) areas that are dedicated to plain weave, unit A or unit B.

So in the above diagram, I have given those 3 options in the threading area of the draft, shown the tie up to create 'lace' by making the weft be the threads that float over the rest, and then the treadling which gives four options - plain weave, unit A lace with unit B weaving plain weave, unit A weaving plain weave with unit B weaving lace, and lace in every unit threaded to the Bronson Lace weave structure.

To 'read' the threading draft I refer to the threads on shaft 1 as the 'foundation' threads, threads on shaft 2 as the tie downs, and the threads on the rest of the shafts (in this case four shafts) as the pattern ends.  

And that, in a nutshell, is how to read that diagram.

I suspect that the text of the article will be more extensive, but this is the Coles Notes version.  Also, I am just at the point in the article where I need to explain this, so this Coles Notes version was partly an exercise in refreshing my memory.

I'm still dealing with the effects of the brain bleed in Aug. 2024.  My brain doesn't always 'brain' well, especially if I've had a 'bad' night due to pain.

So I'm having my 2nd cup of coffee, and preparing myself to take a run at writing this part of the article.  And partly because I saw (again!) a new weaver asking for help to read a weaving draft.  So it was made clear to me that I can't just start this article assuming that everyone who reads the article will already know how to read it?  Or maybe I can.  But if so, the editors can cut that part.  It's going to be diagram dense and they may need more room for the diagrams/drafts/photos, which is the heart of the article.  Anyway, don't hold your breath.  I'm working on an article for an issue in 2027.  

Tragedy - CW

 

white rose bushes on my daily walk when I could still walk

We have been dealing with a national tragedy, and I can't stop thinking about it.  And how this tragedy is being dealt with here in Canada.  And how the alt right is using our grief to make political points.

If you don't know, I'm sure you can find references to it, since the nation is in mourning.

I confess I am considered by the alt right to be a 'libtard' (or libturd, take your pick).  My politics are left of centre.  I believe in human rights for all, regardless of colour of skin, religion, whatever.  I have been (mostly) relieved that the majority of the Canadian politicians have chosen to send messages of condolence to the community of Tumbler Ridge.

And yet...

Yesterday I began to see alt right voices, trying to do their 'usual' and fear monger and by so doing, they are diminishing the lives lost.  The grief that we are all feeling.  By using the 'usual' scare tactics, they attempt to divert attention from the victims and lay blame on an entire 'category' of humans - when they never ever do that if the person responsible is a white male.

So I am by parts furious at their callous disregard for the lives lost and/or damaged in order to score political points by roiling up their 'base'.

And what a good word that is, 'base'.  As in 'base' instincts.  The very thing that their lord and savior told them to rise above by loving *everyone*.  As someone raised Christian, my very being recoils at how NOT Christian they are.  

The past few days have also been 'bad' pain days and the two things made things extra difficult for me.

But today is a bit 'better'.  I managed to beam the silk warp (with lots of knots in it), and today I'm going to begin threading.  

I had to adjust the threading draft because I gave up at 10" in width, which is a bit narrow for a scarf, but I would have had to patch together too many threads to make up that planned on 12" width.  It's going to be bad enough to repair the dozen (or more) knots already in the 20 yard long warp.  But I have lots of spools with a few yards left on them to use to hang repair ends to weave past the knots and then remove them.  And ultimately, using up as much of my silk and cashmere stash as I can is my current priority.

When in pain...weave.  When grieving...weave.  When confused...weave.  

Creativity is not pointless or useless.  When so many are attempting to destroy all that is good and kind in the world, creativity is an act of resistance.  

I send love and light to all who needs it.

Remote Teaching

 

Teaser...

Yesterday I finished weaving the samples for the next article for WEFT.  No, I'm not going to explain this photo - it's a teaser.

I don't know if the photos I took are good enough, but I needed to have photos to show what I was going to attempt to explain using words.  But not everyone learns from the written word, so I knew I had to provide visuals.  WEFT staff may choose to set up their own photos if mine aren't good enough.

It's the challenge in trying to teach 'remotely' - being able to provide information in different modes so that as many people as possible can process the information and be able to figure out what is happening.

Today I will press the samples I wove, then tidy them up when they are fully dry and will be rolling the information I want to convey around in the nether regions of my brain.  

The challenge with trying to write (or even think, some days) is that the brain injury opened up sinkholes and sometimes the words I want to use disappear into one or more of those sinkholes.  So it's now imperative that I must think clearly, if I can, about what I want to say - and how I want to say it.  And in the process, try to work out which words are missing from my vocabulary at the time I'm trying to craft the explanation I want to share.

In the meantime the pain I've been trying to 'solve' continues.  Some days and nights are better than others.  And I still see tiny glimmers of 'improvement' - I think.  But it never really goes away.  Not really and truly 'away'.  However, I have accepted that it may never totally and completely resolve, so in the meantime, I try to do the best I can to keep sharing information.  I am getting older every day and that isn't going to change, just get more challenging as time passes...

The local weaver who recently purchased a drawloom continues their journey, and I am joining them as best I can since I have actually woven on a drawloom, even the specific type of drawloom they have purchased.  They found Alice Hindson's book and I'm going to get my own copy and study it when it comes to remind me of my two decades old experience of weaving at Madelyn van der Hoogt's Weaving School.  

It seems I am finally finding my 'retirement' life.  I had written weaving on a drawloom off as something I could ever do, and now, here one is, locally.  And an invitation to come play on it.  My neck won't likely tolerate my doing very much, but I'm quite excited about being able to explore more and see what happens...

We are well into February and spring is 'early' it looks like.  OTOH, we could easily get more storms, and more snow.  But the days are getting 'longer' with every day that passes, and today we have a sunny one.  

Time to get to the studio and press the samples and tidy them up.  And then decide what I can do most effectively.  Maybe trying to write an article is not a job for today - especially when I have a silk warp calling my name...

Rocky Road (CW personal health issues)

 

This meme has never resonated so thoroughly as I begin what appears to be the beginning of recovery from what has been making my life miserable for literally years.

As with any health issue, it appears to be true that however long it took you to get to 'bottom' it takes the same time to climb out of the hell you have been living.

But I am a do-er (even as I complain about it) and I have spent the better part of the last 6 months flailing around trying to find out what the hell has been going on in my body as things kept getting 'worse'.

For those who are interested, on December 24 (Merry Christmas?) I got the lab report back - I have genetic markers for being unable to utilize 'ordinary' B 12 and a couple other of the B family vitamins.  As such my body was unable to heal properly and new research into peripheral neuropathy is showing that what happens is that the protective covering of the nerves in the extremities begins to deteriorate.  And then you experience nerve pain.  A not so silent 'scream' of the body falling apart.  

People who are diabetic, or who have had chemo or other conditions generally have peripheral neuropathy.  I am one of the ones who had chemo with Vincristine, well known to cause PN (I'm going to use the initials rather than type it out all the time), and indeed, I had PN during chemo.  I was told it would resolve when chemo was done, and it did, but it came back.  Most likely because I have genetic markers from both parents which block my body's ability to use the 'usual' B 12 (and two others) even though my blood work showed a nice healthy level of B12 in my blood.

I immediately started taking a different form of vitamin B plus some supplements that were to help boost the body to utilize the vitamin.  I'm about 6 weeks out from beginning that treatment, and I can fairly confidently say that it appears to be working.

But it's not a smooth passage back to 'health'.  It very much looks like the above meme - I *thought* it would be smooth sailing, but of course, it has not been 'smooth'.  At all.

Last night - again - I had a 'bad' night.  Was awake for 3 hours at dark o'clock while the nerves in my feet and legs pinged and frizzled, and my muscles cramped.

But!  It's no longer pain levels of 7.  Just 4-5 when the pain flares.  I still can't sleep when the pain goes over 3, but...it's NOT 7.

For the first few weeks I could not actually tell if anything at all was happening, but I can honestly say...it is better.  It isn't fixed.  It won't be for months and months, apparently.  But I've been living with this pain for about 6 years and it may take 6 years to recover fully.  If I ever do.  Some of my nerves may be permanently damaged, and I won't know until I get there.  

But it means that ultimately, I may get to the point where I will be able to weave on the Leclerc Fanny again.  The Megado has a very 'light' lift and I can use my thick soled shoes to weave on that loom.  But I cannot on the Fanny so I haven't been able to weave on that loom for over 3 years.  But now?  Now I'm thinking...maybe.

I am also getting therapy to deal with the trauma of my birth and the impact that has had on me my whole life.  So far I have no idea if it is 'helping' because I've been alive for 75 years and hiding my trauma as a way to continue to deal with life.  Apparently it is now time to address that trauma.

Last Saturday I did a one hour presentation for the Vancouver Guild.  Since then I've had 3 of the people who attended or watched the recording contact me to thank me for sharing my knowledge.  I have another booked for Feb. 28. If that also seems to go well, I will take a look at the calendar and consider taking more bookings.  I didn't want to last year because I was still in recovery from the brain bleed, plus I never knew what shape I would be in because of the pain.  It's really really hard to think when your body is screaming at you, asking you to DO SOMETHING.

Well, it took several months and multiple changes in what I was doing, then finally genetic testing, but we appear to have found out part of what was happening.  And as spring teases us (too soon, too soon!) my tiny sprig of hope appears to be budding.

In the meantime, the sale at blurb continues.  Use the coupon code of BOOKLOVE15 FEB 8-10 for a 15% discount.  US folk, the books are printed and shipped within the US.  Other countries may prefer to buy the pdf - it's cheaper and you get it immediately.  If you have issues with the website, contact THEM, not me.