Life's GPS

 

6 shaft 4 block Bronson Lace

One of my favourite weave structures to design with is Bronson Lace.

Yesterday I worked on the article for WEFT (no this isn't a draft from the article) and was reminded how neat, how tidy the weave structure is.  And how much freedom I have because I know how to weave it in pick up.

I'm not a fan of doing pick up because it is so slow, but I don't mind picking up Bronson Lace, especially if I can use my floor loom as a mechanized pick up apparatus.

I have always lived my life reflecting about the meaning of Life.  I'm drawn to think about how we live.  How we interact with others.

Confession time - I have not always been the best person.  I look back with some dismay at the stumbles I've taken.  The opportunities to be kind that I messed up.  I regret them very much.  But every time I pause to reflect over some new offence I have committed, I vow to do better.  Be better.

I am far enough along in the current stage of 'recovery' or healing that I am beginning to look ahead.  I asked for feedback on what I should focus on and one person responded that I should do what I loved to do (I paraphrase).  

And ultimately I know that.  But I have a number of ways open before me and I'm exhausted.  So I was hoping for an indication of where I should expend my tiny amount of energy.  

After thinking about this for a number of days and just one response I am left to try and figure out which path to take.  Which, ultimately, is how it should be.  It is, after all, my life I am living.

With a number of paths to choose from, I have decided to leave my options open.  In the face of increased intrusions of things like LLM/AI into every nook and cranny of our lives I have decided to make some different choices.  It may cost me more, but I refuse to have data companies able to mine my data - as much as I can.  I know I can't avoid it entirely.  But I can do my best.

I am divesting myself of the worst of the lot, or minimizing my exposure to those companies.  I am making different choices from the obvious service providers.  Again, it may cost me more, but I don't care.  

I choose NOT to use GPS, but take my time to thoughtfully make my decisions.  It has how I have always lived my life.  It seems appropriate to continue to do so.

Am I 'scared'?  Yes, it is scary.  But I have never let myself be swayed because something was unknown and scary.  If I did I would never have set foot on that freighter out of Montreal and sailed to Sweden when I was 19.  

It was, perhaps, THE formative transformation I chose to make.  With the help of strangers I not only survived, I succeeded.  

I am going to continue to think, consider, weigh my options.  My recovery is early days - and to be honest, it is only *one* of the physical issues that is improving right now - and I don't have to make any hard and fast decisions today.  So I have just set up some new options and will take time to get used to them and continue to consider what I need to be doing with my life.

Doug reminded me I have a very large box of card stock (or heavy paper) which is left over from the original Magic in the Water.  I have, from time to time, designed woven samples and published small booklets with actual samples.  I could do that again.  Or not.  I could publish monographs and sell them in pdf format via my ko-fi shop.  I could hold remote presentations and run the meetings myself.  Study groups?  Lectures series (I have 11 already written).  One-on-one tutoring.

These are the options I am considering.  

Round and round the roulette wheel goes - where the ball drops...is anybody's guess.

Carrots. Sticks.

 

if life were easy...

Anyone following this blog for any time will be aware that I've managed to stumble through a bunch of health issues.  

If it was 'easy', everyone would be doing it?

Anyway, it has NOT been 'easy', and I'm a long way away from being fully functional.  However, as the neurosurgeon said to me "Don't wait until you are healed to live your life."

On the other hand, I seem to be gaining ground and managing to consider what the future would hold for me.

The last time I talked to my therapist, she asked me to consider what I want to be (she didn't add 'when you grow up', but...)

I have thought about that question for almost two weeks and I still am not exactly sure how to answer that question.

Every time I think about it, all I can come up with is....more.

Mostly?  More teaching.  More sharing.  More encouraging.  As well as more kind, more caring, more helpful.

Given my current physical issues, how do I do that?

Well, we now have the internet.  I have been writing this blog since 2008.  During the worst of the covid pandemic, I produced 11 presentations geared to being 'broadcast' via the internet.  And then began offering them as guild programs/seminars - until August 28, 2024 when I had the brain bleed.

But they are already written.  So I have a script to keep me on track.  I presented one of them in January this year and have another booked for the 28th of Feb.  

So, do I gear up and offer the seminars again?  Myself?  Not wait for a guild to contact me, then deal with 6 am wakeups to present first thing in *their* morning (dark o'clock for me)?

Or do I go ahead and set up the seminars and offer them - for a price/fee?

I see so many new weavers floundering with questions, really good in-depth questions, questions that I find myself not able to answer within the confines of a chat group reply box.  

So, I write articles for WEFT.  But I have other things I want to say/write, outside of their editorial focus.  I already wrote not 1, not 2, but 3 books.  But since I wrote those I have learned more.  And sometimes what I want to say goes beyond even a blog post parameters.

Do I write 'articles', edit and then self-publish and sell them as a pdf download?  Not sure I have the spoons or technology to do that.

Or do I recycle the 2 hour seminars and offer them?

Do I book 'Ask me anything' sessions?  Or one on one tutoring?

So I respectfully ask - what do YOU think I should do?

Email me laura at laurafry dot com

Let's talk.

Avalanche

 

I had to take this photo at an angle in order to show up the motif.  White on white is very difficult to photograph, but I think this turned out ok.

This is the same threading I used for the last warp (tea towels with the highly energized/twisted weft) and I thought it was quite pretty and wanted to show it off.

In the theme of KISS, it is a fairly simple progression to thread, and of course, the dobby makes it easy to weave.  When the loom is behaving.  I had some issues on the last warp with one shaft not behaving properly, but I'm hoping that is fixed now.

The selvedges aren't 'perfect' but much of the problem will be disguised during wet finishing.  And the beat is not 'perfect' as mentioned yesterday.  But I don't much care.  It feels 'right' for a nice dressy scarf as it is, so the diamonds are not perfect - and I find I don't care.  The beat is consistent, and if you can't be perfect...

I'm hoping that the hard press during wet finishing will bring up the shine of the silk compared to the mat of the cashmere.  The effect is subtle and that's fine, too.  Not everything has to be eye catching.

And that's the thing when you weave your own textiles, especially if you design them yourself.  You get to choose.

I find myself constantly intrigued by the various parameters involved in those choices, finding a path through the effect of one choice on the others.  

Not everyone wants to follow a 'plan' however.  And that's also fine.  Because we are not bound to follow rules - we can ignore them when it suits us.  

But our choices come with consequences.  And if you are okay with those consequences you can make whatever choices you want.

My goal, first and foremost, has always to make cloth that will serve a purpose.  So every choice I make I keep the end result in mind and try to be aware of how my choices will play off of each other and affect the finished textile.

As such, I have - over the decades (lordy, lordy, I feel *old* when I say that, but I have been weaving for a very long time) tried various things, woven countless samples, built a foundation of knowledge.

But the life so short, the craft so long to learn.  

Roller Coaster (CW - health issues)

 

Even as (some) things get 'better', (some) things get 'worse'.

So hey, I'm still here.  I'm not doing much right now, though.  My body seems to hate me, although in reality it is just complaining.  Mostly about how many times I 'pushed through' whatever it was I was dealing with at the time.

'Rode hard, put away wet' is a phrase I learned from some people I know who ride horses.  And it pretty much sums up the majority of my life.

The therapy I'm getting is part of the 'salad' of my life.  I am finally coming out of De Nile and actually dealing with some stuff that I, well, stuffed down and out of sight, but obviously not out of mind.

I've been advised to treat myself with compassion right now as I dig out the trauma that has been the bedrock of my life, for all of my life.

So I'm trying really hard to stay focused on encouraging healing to arrive in my conscious mind.  But when you have buried something for 75+ years, digging it out again is going to cause some emotional chaos.

Plus the physical effects of working too hard, not resting and/or healing enough before picking up the load and staggering onwards.

I tried to get started on the article late last week, and after a good start, I fell off the wagon.  And the rough draft is sitting to my right, within my peripheral vision.  I'm trying really hard to not feel guilty.  I still have time.  I can wait a few more days

The next two weeks are a bit of a challenge as I have appointments - massage, therapy, doctor (2 of them) and while I wait I feel reluctance to push forward.  It all feels like a hill too high, the road too rough.

I did manage to thread the silk warp.  Today my goal is to sley and tie up.  If I have enough spoons, weave a sample to check my plans.  Because reality will intrude the second I start throwing the shuttle.

And who knows, if that goes well, I may feel able to pick up that rough draft and add some more content to it.

In the meantime, reality carries on.  It is too warm, with too little snowpack in the mountains.  When the rains come this early the snow melts and because the ground is frozen, the water drains away.  And nothing is left to deliver moisture to the thirsty ground when the dry summer days come.  Which means that this year could become another blistering misery with multiple wildfires and too little water for, well, anything.

But there is nothing I can do about that, not really.  So instead I will try to continue to do what I can - answer questions, write (I have this article to do, and then maybe another - they aren't quite to the contract issuing stage), this blog, answers on a couple weaving groups I belong to, questions via School of Sweet Georgia, etc.

Today I'm going to try to book the guild room for another Weavers Show and Share.  They are having a Grand Re-Opening to show the guild members the 'new' guild room space this week.  I won't go because I don't do large crowds anymore.  Because on top of every other damn thing I'm dealing with, I'm *still* immune compromised.  And for me Covid is not 'over'.  (Nor measles, RSV, flu, colds et bloody cetera.)

If you can, if you are feeling overwhelmed, try to find one small positive thing you can do.  Maybe clean a little corner of some clutter if you can.  Send an encouraging note to a friend who may be feeling a decided lack of spoons/energy.  Spend time at your craft, bringing something new into being.  Create something.  

My dad always looked at something that someone had made, maybe a cake mom had baked, and would tell others that 'my wife built it'.  If he is still around looking down on me, I hope he is watching what I have done with my life and is telling others in heaven that 'my daughter built it'.  

Resources for Learning

 

Jacquard woven hanging by Sandra Rude

Sandra Rude Grant

The Complex Weavers will be meeting soon, and they have just announced their event details, one of which is a memorial grant in honour of Sandra Rude.

I first 'met' Sandra when I was a member of WeaveTech.  We had several conversations online, and then I was able to meet her at a conference.  We continued to stay in touch now and then, and when she died, it was a blow.

I remember her as a very kind person, very supportive as I went through a number of health issues.   When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2011 she sent me this wall hanging.  I had been anticipating losing my hair during chemo and she chose to remind me that even the mighty oak will lose it's leaves, but it remains strong and beautiful.

It was such a thoughtful gift and the textile still hangs in my living room - a subtle reminder to stay rooted in my strength (or stubbornness, whatever)

Anyway, if you are interested in attending Complex Weavers Seminars but having trouble with finances, you could apply for the Sandra Rude Memorial Grant.

Building Foundations

 

I got back to the desktop yesterday and started working on the text and diagrams for the next article.

I don't expect them to use the diagram above - they have 'nicer' graphics software - but I wanted to provide the draft information to explain the 3 options for threading this particular weave structure.  So many new weavers don't understand how to 'read' this information and get all confused.  But this weave structure is an example of how things are not as they might seem to be.

A new weaver may assume that plain weave is always treadle a being tied to shaft 1+3 and treadle b is always tied to 2+4.  

(By 'a' and 'b' I am using the 'usual' notation that was common pre-computer days, where a small a and small b referred to the two plain weave treadles.)

In this case, Bronson Lace does not have those two treadles, but the two treadles on the left are the plain weave options.

I've had new weavers tell me that's incorrect, they want the plain weave treadles.  But here's the thing, you treadle the shafts that will result in plain weave.  And if you look at what those far left treadles are doing, they *are* weaving plain weave.

Then some new weavers get confused by the blue parts of the draft.  At this point, the weaver should be just isolating the actual threads.  In that part of the draft, there are no actual threads in the draft - I am simply trying to isolate the units that comprise Bronson Lace.  

Generally with a 2 block/unit Bronson Lace you can 'program' (thread) areas that are dedicated to plain weave, unit A or unit B.

So in the above diagram, I have given those 3 options in the threading area of the draft, shown the tie up to create 'lace' by making the weft be the threads that float over the rest, and then the treadling which gives four options - plain weave, unit A lace with unit B weaving plain weave, unit A weaving plain weave with unit B weaving lace, and lace in every unit threaded to the Bronson Lace weave structure.

To 'read' the threading draft I refer to the threads on shaft 1 as the 'foundation' threads, threads on shaft 2 as the tie downs, and the threads on the rest of the shafts (in this case four shafts) as the pattern ends.  

And that, in a nutshell, is how to read that diagram.

I suspect that the text of the article will be more extensive, but this is the Coles Notes version.  Also, I am just at the point in the article where I need to explain this, so this Coles Notes version was partly an exercise in refreshing my memory.

I'm still dealing with the effects of the brain bleed in Aug. 2024.  My brain doesn't always 'brain' well, especially if I've had a 'bad' night due to pain.

So I'm having my 2nd cup of coffee, and preparing myself to take a run at writing this part of the article.  And partly because I saw (again!) a new weaver asking for help to read a weaving draft.  So it was made clear to me that I can't just start this article assuming that everyone who reads the article will already know how to read it?  Or maybe I can.  But if so, the editors can cut that part.  It's going to be diagram dense and they may need more room for the diagrams/drafts/photos, which is the heart of the article.  Anyway, don't hold your breath.  I'm working on an article for an issue in 2027.  

Tragedy - CW

 

white rose bushes on my daily walk when I could still walk

We have been dealing with a national tragedy, and I can't stop thinking about it.  And how this tragedy is being dealt with here in Canada.  And how the alt right is using our grief to make political points.

If you don't know, I'm sure you can find references to it, since the nation is in mourning.

I confess I am considered by the alt right to be a 'libtard' (or libturd, take your pick).  My politics are left of centre.  I believe in human rights for all, regardless of colour of skin, religion, whatever.  I have been (mostly) relieved that the majority of the Canadian politicians have chosen to send messages of condolence to the community of Tumbler Ridge.

And yet...

Yesterday I began to see alt right voices, trying to do their 'usual' and fear monger and by so doing, they are diminishing the lives lost.  The grief that we are all feeling.  By using the 'usual' scare tactics, they attempt to divert attention from the victims and lay blame on an entire 'category' of humans - when they never ever do that if the person responsible is a white male.

So I am by parts furious at their callous disregard for the lives lost and/or damaged in order to score political points by roiling up their 'base'.

And what a good word that is, 'base'.  As in 'base' instincts.  The very thing that their lord and savior told them to rise above by loving *everyone*.  As someone raised Christian, my very being recoils at how NOT Christian they are.  

The past few days have also been 'bad' pain days and the two things made things extra difficult for me.

But today is a bit 'better'.  I managed to beam the silk warp (with lots of knots in it), and today I'm going to begin threading.  

I had to adjust the threading draft because I gave up at 10" in width, which is a bit narrow for a scarf, but I would have had to patch together too many threads to make up that planned on 12" width.  It's going to be bad enough to repair the dozen (or more) knots already in the 20 yard long warp.  But I have lots of spools with a few yards left on them to use to hang repair ends to weave past the knots and then remove them.  And ultimately, using up as much of my silk and cashmere stash as I can is my current priority.

When in pain...weave.  When grieving...weave.  When confused...weave.  

Creativity is not pointless or useless.  When so many are attempting to destroy all that is good and kind in the world, creativity is an act of resistance.  

I send love and light to all who needs it.