4 Week Update

 

In many ways, I am betwixt and between.

As I begin to poke my head above ground (so to speak) I am trying to figure out what is happening in my brain.

Numerous medical people have assured me that recovery will be months, not weeks.  Several have referenced the fact that I am still in the acute state of the bleed, and that I must be patient.  The guestimate is a minimum several month recuperation.  When it comes to the brain, there is no knowing how long recovery will take.

On the other hand, I have noticed that some things are beginning to resolve, but my speech continues to lag behind.  It is obvious that my speech centre is affected, and it's difficult to know how I will be able going to be I will be able to teach.  If I ever.  By the end of the day I am lagging.

However, I can write (carefully) and I am hoping that I will be able to write - if not articles, at least possibly this blog.

I need to talk to my webmistress and decide if I stop offering Zoom presentations.  I cancelled the two presentations that were booked for January and early Feb.  

On the other hand, I was able to create a new draft for an article.  Whether or not I can actually write anything, only time will tell. Truth to tell, I have only generated a draft - I still need to develop two different drafts, one 8 shafts, one 16 shafts.  And of course, the draft might not turn out.

There is much that is unknown.  There is much that may not work well.  But I still have fibre dreams to I hope to continue to weave.  Given I have made a decent draft tonight, it seems that like I can sort of still keep weaving.

I have managed a few light duties this week.  If anyone is interested in my books, they are available from Blurb.com.  I have some tea towels for sale on Ko-Fi.  I'm hoping to have a Xmas sale in December.  

Three Weeks

 

Three weeks ago, I wound up doing a face plant.  I laid down and fell asleep, and thankfully Doug was home because he realized that something was going terribly wrong, and phoned for an ambulance.  It turns out I wound up having a brain bleed, and that night I was medevacked (?) to Vancouver where I had brain surgery.

A number of medical professionals have assured me that I am doing 'well'.  I told my family doctor it doesn't feel like it...

I have multiple emotional responses.  

For one thing I am having difficulty with my speech - although things are slowly improving.  But I have little desire to teach in person, not even only on a Zoom presentation.  I struggle with my words when I speak, and I know my delivery is poor.  I'm also nervous whether or not I can do an hour/two presentations.  My voice is weak, I struggle to find the words I need.

Now that this has happened, it feels strangely meant to be.  I had been writing a number of articles and intending to get them done asap.  As it happens the first two for the new weaving magazine were done - one had already been sent to the editor, and I had *just* finished the second, but was not yet sent.

When I got home from hospital, I arrived home with a cold, and shared it with Doug.  The intervening 3 weeks has been stressful, especially while I couldn't speak for several days.  The diagnosis was aphasia.  As a teacher/writer, I was dealing with not being able to communicate effectively.

Given I have zero idea how long this journey (worst journey, ever!) will last, I have thought long and hard to protect myself and guilds from my medical condition.  I don't feel confident that I can capably perform well.  An estimate for recovery is at the very least 6 months.  And I don't know when I can be placed with a speech therapist.  As such, I feel I need to cancel the two booked Zoom presentations in January.

Since writing is still easier than speaking, I MAY try to write the other two articles for the weaving magazine - although I'm not sure I will able to do the short article for the summer issue.

I did do a couple of articles for School of Sweet Georgia.  I just need to proof read the first file and make sure it's ok.

I am also not sure how soon I can get back to the loom.  I had prepped the next warp, getting it 3/4s threaded.  It feels like it will take some some to build up my strength - again.

Frankly, I am exhausted.  For the time being, I'm quite frankly content for sleep as much as possible.  A couple of nurse friends remind me, nearly daily, that I need to rest.  

Bottom line?  I'm partially furious that has happened to me.  But I'm so exhausted that I can't even work up a good head of steam.  

There is much to work out.  But I am starting to feel a bit stronger.  While I am frustrated and disappointed that I might not be able to write more articles, I have considered how/well I can live the rest of my life.  My goal - for the time being - is to continue to weave down my stash.  If I can weave, I will try to produce more weaving information.

Maybe I'll start feeling better soon...

Hiatus

 I fell and had a brain bleed.  

It looks like I can go home today.