Book Review

 

I wound up fairly high on the request list at the library and started reading Guy Gavriel Kay's latest book last night.  

I've been 'following' GGK for a while, now, and I think I've read every novel he's written.  I wait (not so patiently) for the next to be penned and published.  I would even do a re-read of some of his books, in parts because I like the characters he crafts, and his observations on 'life' have only gotten better (IMO).

(Another author I will - eventually - re-read is Dorothy Dunnett, for much the same reasons.)

The first few pages of this book are a masterclass in setting a stage, and developing a character.  

One of the things I enjoy about GGK's writing is that he includes points from the historical record.  If you know the history that he is referring to, you know which real events have been rolled into his stories.  And sometimes?  I find out that something that I thought was fantastical, was real.  (I follow another writer who has a similar approach and it's always a delight when the penny drops.)

So, picture a young man in the dark of night and some of his musings as he waits for...something.

"He was young, of course.  He might grow into something different, someone different.  You weren't the same through the whole of your life, were you?  Not marked by one thing.  If you lived long enough to change, of course."

That paragraph on page 2 snagged me, and now I'm curious.  What happens to him?  What kind of adventure is he to partake in?  Above all, will he survive?

I know that there are likely AI 'written' (stolen) books that will be drawing upon GGK's writing because he *is* a best selling author.  I will not be reading them.

I want actual human experiences, created by actual humans.  I want stories that make me think.  To include actual history (when appropriate) and lessons to learn from.  I don't want LLM scrapings from actual writers.

But that's me.  As I thought about this book, I thought about what I hope to accomplish by continuing to write about weaving, from my 50 years of experience (and if that sentence doesn't make me feel 'old' I guess nothing will?)

My approach to weaving has always been to try to discover the 'why' of the craft.  Explore the characteristics of my materials, the physics involved, and try to work out the mechanics of the equipment.  None of which I've been 'trained' in, but tried to learn.  Because all of that was part of the question of 'why'.  

It's the same with human beings.  Why is this person acting like this, when it is so against their own best interests?  At times I find out why and can be sympathetic to their situation.  Other times I find out why and walk away.  Muttering 'not my circus, not my monkeys'.  Sometimes I have to accept that I do not have the skills or the patience to help them try to wend their way through their life.

And that's the thing with a book.  If you find the characters are too nasty or too...whatever...you are not compelled to finish reading the book.  You can put it down and walk away.  But I do NOT call for it to be banned because *I* did not like it.  

GGK's characters are not all 'good'.  I know that every person has flaws as well as good points.  And sometimes the best thing they can do is be a really horrible example.  But they are fiction.  I can take the lesson and walk away.

Will the rest of this book be as good (or better?) than his previous books?  Based on the first few pages, I would say yes.  

Writing A Book

 

Magic in the Water; wet finishing handwovens

As a kid, I loved words, stories.  I read voraciously and dreamt one day of writing, too.

But I soon realized that I didn't have stories to tell, as such.  It wasn't until I became a weaver that I realized that my stories were all weaving related.

Over the years I had done 'big' projects so when it came time to write my 'thesis' (or monograph as they called it) for the Guild of Canadian Weavers master weaver certificate, I knew what I wanted to do and generally how to go about doing it.

It was a work of years.  Literally.  Because I made the decision to weave samples.  Not just tiny postage stamp sized samples but samples large enough you could feel the drape/handle of the cloth and get a feel for how it would feel as an actual cloth. Five binders stuffed full of samples.

And once that was done, people started asking where they could get the 'book' and then urged me to write a 'proper' book.

That 'book' grew and grew.  I spent a lot of time (and I mean a *lot*) crunching the numbers.  How much would it cost to produce it?  How many samples?  How much would it cost to buy the yarn to produce the samples for that many copies?  The logistics were, shall we say, daunting?  (Any idea of how much space 1000 two inch ring binders take up?  A small bedroom.)

Never mind much of this happened before I ever started writing.  Having completed the thesis/monograph, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to include so I settled on 1000 copies and talked to a local printer who printed a fair number of local history books for local authors.

It was staggering.  Quite literally staggering.  And I was going to have to pay ALL the costs up front, on my own.  No hefty (ha!) advance to help finance it.  Because I knew that no traditional publisher would touch my 'vanity' project with all those tipped in samples.

One of the benefits of my going my own way, using local talent, financing it myself, doing ALL the promotion and marketing myself, is that this (and my subsequent) books were never 'stolen' by LLM to 'train' their AI. 

At the time I just stubbornly put one foot in front of the other, doing what I needed to do, financed the thing on my credit card and took out a hefty loan.  

The book sold fairly well, considering I asked a reasonable price, given all the samples.  I found some unexpected support within the weaving community.  And a fairly large number of people who wanted the book for 'free' because I was 'asking too much for it'.  

On the other hand, some people refer to it as a 'classic' in the craft.  Yes, it is still available, but no samples.  While dealing with chemo (and the fatigue that caused) I took close up photos of all the samples, before and after, and produced a 'digital' version of the book.  Then, when I decided to write a 2nd book, a friend oversaw the uploading of that .pdf to Blurb.com to test the site.

The site allowed the possibility of a print 'magazine' format as well as a .pdf and amazingly, there are still a few people who buy it.

And now, 22+ years later I still offer it for sale.  Just me, not a traditional publishing house.  And now we have to deal with LLM stealing our work and making money off it.  So now me is grateful that previous me was so stubbornly set on producing a book with samples, in the first place, then continuing to publish my books myself.

This year the US president decided to 'break' Canada economically so it would make it easier to 'annex' us.  I was concerned about that until I realized that the company that hosts my books is in US and the books are printed in the north east (I forget which state) so US weavers can still buy my books without paying Trump's Tariffs.  (The last book is only available digitally via my ko-fi shop but I knew very few people would be interested - however, again it is tariff free because it is a digital download.)

There are still a few copies of The Intentional Weaver at Sweet Georgia Yarns, signed ones, let me add.  Whether or not they will order more, I have no idea.  This tariff stuff is...making decisions difficult.  But you *can* still get both print and digital versions of Magic, Intentional Weaver and Stories from the Matrix at Blurb.  Canadians might want to buy the digital versions to avoid whatever shenanigans with tariffs a certain someone serves up.

Step by Step

 

Yesterday I reached the 1/3 done stage of this warp.  The web was cut off and the warp re-tied and I began again.

I have not wet finished these yet, there are only 7 towels and that's kind of a small load to run the washer/dryer so I'll wait.  I *may* do that after I've woven the next 7 towels, but I may wait until the entire warp has been woven.

I still have to inspect and repair the towels, but so far weaving has been going fairly smoothly and hopefully there will not be too many oopsies to fix.  (Yes, there are some, of course there are!)

The weft for these towels is some 2/15 yarn (labelled by the mill as 2 ply, 15 count, warp spun, so I'm assuming ring spun.)  I received it in error, but decided to keep it and use it up rather than pay to ship it back to the mill.  It is 'different' from the 'usual' 2/16 I get from Brassard.  I should dig out my microscope and see if I can figure out why.  OTOH, it seems to be weaving up ok (I used some of the yarn on the end of the previous warp and after wet finishing it has a nice handle) so I don't need to know, I'm just curious.  Anyway, I am worrying away at the two smaller cones, but I have 3 more (!) of full sized cones, so I figure enough weft for 3 more towel warps.  Oops.

I got the order to Brassard for the 2/20 mercerized cotton but I have not yet received confirmation that it has been mailed.  And of course next Tuesday is a national holiday, and I have no idea if Brassard is just taking Monday off, too, or if they will be notifying of the shipping details before the holiday.

Anyway, a reminder of my July sale - Buy Two, get a Third free.  This 'sale' is not available to US addresses.  If I'm going to boycott made in America products, I can hardly ask USians to buy *my* stuff.  However, I will investigate shipping costs to Europe, if anyone there is interested.  I need the shipping address, weight and parcel dimensions to know how much the shipping will cost.

Shipping within Canada is included in the price listed in my ko-fi shop.

In the meantime, I press on, trying to get to the loom twice a day, dealing with as little as I can because I'm still not sleeping 'well' and constantly pushing through the fatigue.  Hopefully I'll get some more answers (if they are useful or helpful is to be determined) next week and be able to be more comfortable in my body.  

Getting old is NOT for sissies.  At least the way *I* am aging it's not.  OTOH I am still here, still want to weave, can still write (sort of), so I keep going.  

Weaving For Purpose

 

After I published Magic in the Water I added a few more publications to my repertoire, also with actual handwoven samples.  The above example was from A Vadmal Adventure, where my aim was mostly to experience a hammer mill and fulling wool using that tool.

Someone asked on a group today if people weave with a purpose in mind, or just weave.

Well, it depends on how you define 'purpose' because sometimes?  My only purpose is to weave samples to find out what I can learn by doing so.  And sometimes I weave 'samples' so that others can learn.  

Sometimes I weave samples to experiment with a new-to-me yarn.  I want to find out the characteristics of the yarn so I know what to expect when I wind a warp, then weave it.  And wet finish it.  Only once I've done that can I begin to effectively design with the yarn.

Sometimes I weave samples to experiment with different yarn combinations, or colour interactions.  And sometimes I take something 'known' and try to bend it in different directions, just to see what happens when something changes.

Ultimately I wove a *lot* of cloth based on my experiments and the knowledge I gained from doing that 'sampling'.  In many ways I was fine-tuning my cloth, trying to get closer to the kind of cloth I wanted to make.  I would change things and try again.  Sometimes I made a lot of stuff that could have been improved because it still wasn't 'perfect'.  But it was 'good', and that was good enough.  And I had bills to pay and a roof to keep over myself and my studio.

I think some people see something interesting about the craft, then get confused because they don't realize how much information is contained in a cloth.  And how much it can change in the wet finishing.  Mostly it gets 'better', but there can be unpleasant surprises, too - like fugitive dye in one or other of the yarns.  And, if you don't wet finish it, you won't know about that until it's late.  Sometimes you can 'save' the cloth, but not always.

So, do I weave to 'purpose'?  Well, yes, but it isn't always the purpose that someone else can see.  Usually those are the samples that are simply not seen by anyone else, but are reflections on a personal journey - of learning.  

And because I just *like* to weave, those kinds of warps are just as satisfying as other kinds.  Until I've learned as much as I need to know about that particular yarn and cloth.  And then sometimes the rest of the warp gets tossed into the recycle bin.  Because it has done its job and I've learned what I needed to know so it is time to move on.

And sometimes I will think about an experiment and wish I'd taken it further.  Sometimes I do!  Even though it may take a while before I get there.  

Remember that quote, attributed most frequently to Chaucer, but is actually much older than that:

The life so short, the craft so long to learn.

That's weaving, in a nutshell...

July Sale

 

With the continuing uncertainty of (waves hands) it was a hard decision but I finally decided on having a July sale (as I usually do), but have it only available to Canadian addresses.  (Europeans can contact me for shipping costs.  I pretty much need to check, country by country and need to know the weight, size, etc.)

But this morning my printer reminded me that it needs replacing and I am not in a position to easily do that right now - unless I sell some things!  Hopefully it will hang on for a while, but I need to be prepared - usually on a Sunday!  

The sale event is that if you buy two towels, you will receive three, out of the inventory I have currently posted in  my ko-fi shop.  

There are a few of my newer designs *and* there are some that have linen weft, not just 100% cotton.

You don't need to do anything.  July 1, 2025 until midnight July 9, 2025, if you order two towels, I will ship 3.

Email me laura at laurafry dot com if you have questions, or you can message me via the ko-fi shop messenger option.

Kindness is a Tonic

 

In times of trouble...

Things (waves hands) are very chaotic right now and no one knows what will happen, or even what they are seeing via the media and/or the internet is in any way, shape or form, accurate.

I know this helpless feeling - it's not 'new'.  In a life this long(ish) we have had lots of turmoil and nastiness to be well aware that things can go very bad, very quickly.

So I focus on trying to touch base with some people, let them know that I'm thinking of them, I try to click the 'like' button on Facebook as an encouragement to others.

It's hard to keep doing something as 'silly' as make hand woven tea towels when you can see the world trying to collapse around us all.

But being creative by making things, may they be things that appeal to others or not, is important.  One of the things autocratic governments do is demoralize their citizens - make them believe that they have no autonomy, and gawd forbid they do something whimsical, or not 'necessary'.  Gawd forbid we exercise our 'rights', speak truth to power, or think independently of the governmental propaganda machine.

I'm not immune to the angry rhetoric so once in a while I get a nice message, out of the blue.  It does wonders for my spirits, and I find that I can get up out of my chair and do something.  It might be just bake a pan of oat bars, or wet finish a load of towels, or design another warp for the next one to go into the loom.  

A touch of kindness is a tonic, not just to me, to others.

When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I tend to withdraw into myself.  But I got a couple messages this week that have helped put things into perspective.  

I'm still dealing with a body that doesn't much want to co-operate with me.  Probably because I never 'listened' to it before when it let me know it was sick and/or needed rest.  Now, it is not taking 'no' for an answer.  So I continue on my quest to try to find a smidgeon more 'comfort'.  And days like yesterday (and today) feel a lot lighter when I touch, even virtually, with another person.

So if you aren't sure if someone really wants to hear from you?  Do it anyway.  You might be surprised.

No (wo)man is an island...

Batter Is Not Cake

 

Ignore the darker blue on the right hand side - it is the shadow of the woven web above onto the web below.

I'm kind of 'famous' for the phrase 'it isn't finished until it's wet finished'.  The internet will make certain people 'notable' because of something they say, and I'm (face it) a kind of a broken record with that one.

There are people who 'get it' and adopt 'wet finishing' when they mean the very first time their web is subjected to water, and then there others who insist it's just 'washing'.

At times I have tried to gently 'correct' people, and yet some are open to that kind of guidance and others...are not.

And for some, it appears it *is* 'just' washing.  They see no need to change.  Bottom line?  If they do at least 'wash' their webs, they have wet finished it because with some fibres, that is all it is ever going to look like.

OTOH, there are people who insist that ironing is a 'hard press' when it very clearly is not, but no matter.

Yesterday when I was getting this warp started (more stash reduction - the things you 'find' when you start digging) I was only really needing surface attention and I was looking at the web on the loom and thinking about wet finishing.  And finally I settled on a comparison of weaving to baking.

What is on the loom is the 'batter' for a cake.  But cake is not batter.  Or, should I say, batter is not cake - until it has been 'finished' by being baked.  Batter has taken the ingredients in the pan and through the conversion of baking it, it is now cake, not batter.

The same can be said of cloth.  On the loom I have all the ingredients of what will become cloth - once it has been wet finished.

There are several posts on this blog - check out the 'wet finishing' label on the list of topics.  Get a copy of Magic in the Water and get more information.  Take my online classes through Long Thread Media or School of Sweet Georgia.

Whatever you call it - do the last step and turn your collection of individual threads into whole cloth.

Ch-ch-changes

 

A while back, I made a series of rayon chenille and bamboo scarves with words as the design.  This one is 'Create Joy'.

I'm registered for a class on Pain Management and last week they talked about mental health.  Now, I've been to counselling, learned some really helpful stuff (no, it was not easy changing my thought patterns, but needs must) and then did a bunch of 'self' work with a friend who also felt the need to address some growth, so I was reasonably familiar with some of the concepts.

But as part of the last class I realized I had one potentially toxic self-message that I needed to stop and think about.  And maybe change.

I have spent pretty much the last 65 years with the foundational attitude that no one was going to 'give' me anything.  If I wanted something, I was going to have to go out, hunt it down, and work to get it for myself.

Well, of course in the past 65 years there have been lots of helping hands along the way, but the attitude?  Did not change.  I still felt the urge, the drive, to do more.  To never let the grass grow under my feet.  

That didn't mean I was put off when I 'failed' - as I did (and still do) frequently.  Just that I had to pick  myself up, dust myself off and set off again.  (As I write this, I'm remembering a popular tune from the 1950's which pretty much says that.)

Instead my body is saying 'no'.  No to the constant 'push' to do more.  No to the constant berating of myself when by body simply cannot.  No to expecting to act like a 30 something, heal like a 30 something, bounce out of bed like a 30 something.

It is very disconcerting to pause the self-talk about hoisting myself out of the recliner and get to the loom - and then learn to be ok with myself if I cannot.  To take afternoon naps.  Etc.

We are still on the search to get more answers.  I may yet find a more comfortable level of living, although I'm beginning to get more comfortable with doing...less...than my inner critic is still trying to achieve.  On Friday, when asked for more tests to be done, I told the doctor I want to try to increase my level of comfort in this body.  Hopefully to live with less pain.  To be able to do things without paying for them with more pain.  Every damn day.

And try to reassure that inner 10 year old that 65 years of doing more, with less, is sufficient, and I'm not 'lazy' because I cannot.

In the meantime, the warp is ready to weave and I'm going to go see if it looks ok.  Or not.  Regardless, the cloth will still dry dishes...

Tactile/Textiles

 

This is one of the towels I cut off the loom and wet finished (and hemmed last night) and really like.

No, it's not 'perfect'.  There are longer 'loops' at the selvedge than I would prefer, but they will still dry dishes.  And at the rate I'm giving towels away right now (nothing is selling and the stock is threatening to topple over so giving some away helps) do I overly care they are not perfect?  

No.  Not much.  

Oh, I see the loops, and I allow myself to be pleased with the *interior* of the towel instead of its outside borders (selvedges).

Because, dear reader, these towels are rather nice.

I won't say more because I will be using a couple of these for examples for an article I'm writing.

One of the most difficult things to do is to photograph a textile in such a way as to convey the non-visual aspects of it - the tactile.  This photo doesn't quite do the textile justice on the tactile sensation of handling it, but I think it comes pretty close.

And that's the thing about weaving.  There are many different ways to enjoy doing it.  To learn more about it.  To explore beyond what you already know and grow your foundation of knowledge.  To appreciate it by more than the visual.  

The fact that the textile has a purpose, a job, a function?  That, too.  That it performs that function with a slice of grace is kind of the icing on the cake - so to speak.

Bottom line?  I don't much care if wouldn't be accepted into a juried show.  I just hope that what I make adds a little joy, a tiny bit of beauty (however one measures that) and also does the job it is meant to do.

Kind of like human beings.  We are all different, but we can still bring joy and beauty into this world.  To insert a tiny bit of grace into it.

I am not immune to the worries and cares of the world right now.  But I can care about more than one thing *at the same time*.

And for anyone objecting to my seeing the humanity in *every* human?  I can even care about them, too, even as they cast a veiled accusation of racism at me.  

"No (wo)man is an island" as Dunne famously wrote.  I can see the harm and suffering being inflicted, and weep for everyone who is being harmed.  My empathy is not restricted to just others who look like me.  

When I look back at history I can feel sickened by what humans have done *and continue to do* to each other.  

I choose to try to light a candle in the dark.

Be safe (as you can be).  Be well (as you can be).

Ancient Does Not Equal 'Primitive'

 

one of my books (available here)

It's really nice to see the influx of 'new' weavers into the online groups.  It's just really difficult to give meaningful answers to questions when they have little knowledge of the craft or its language.  It is equally difficult to give answers that won't offend the new weaver - and the last thing I want to do is discourage anyone, especially when they want to know the answers.

Unfortunately, like so many other things about life, the only accurate short answer is 'it depends'.

I just had that experience with one doctor, and yesterday with the pharmacist, as - once again - my body is not 'simple' but full of 'variables'.  The conversation with the pharmacist was encouraging insofar as the recent testing revealed some potential things we can try to 'fix' - and guess what?  More questions!

So today I will phone my doctor's office and request a full panel examination of my thyroid function.

I need more coffee, first.

(Just posted to Bluesky that this morning spouse made the pot of coffee with the extra sarcasm blend and filled the sugar bowl with swear words, so it's not *my* fault...)

Yesterday I declared the warp done (I hate playing yarn chicken) and, after inspecting and repairing the tea towels from that warp, starting setting up for the next warp.  I even managed to get 8 sections beamed, which was a decent start and means that I should be able to finish beaming today and begin threading.  

Anyway, regarding the title of this post...

I saw another post about an ancient artifact that dates to 2000+ years ago.  The photo showed a stunning example of hand blown glass that some people would whiff away because 'everyone knows our ancient ancestors were 'primitive'.   Yeah, about that.  They may not have had the level of 'technology' that we have, it's true.  What they had was some extremely specialized knowledge and a great deal of skill.  To minimize and declare that it was done by 'aliens' is to diminish our own capabilities of creative creatures who studied, and learned, until they achieved incredible levels of skill.

And it all begins with that first tentative step on the road to learning.  And that's why I try not to offend when I offer suggestions.  Because the people who are asking the questions are *trying* to learn.  The problem comes when they expect *specific* answers, and 'it depends' is not what they want to hear!

To that end, I tried to collect the 'basic' information that I would have loved to be able to learn from when I was just starting out.  But the craft is nuanced.  Layered.  Not simple.  

But!  It *can* be learned, if the students keep an open mind and begin to understand the complexity of the craft.  And to understand that this IS a skill, and it needs to be practiced in a mindful, analytical way.  To accept 'failure' - or at least understand that not meeting one's expectations is to be expected, and that each time you try, you get a little closer to your goal.  And, that as you learn, your expectations may change.

For me, it's a 'failing' body that I need to accommodate.  That fall I took last August was a watershed event (won't call it a 'moment' because I am living with an injured brain - this has turned into far more than a 'moment'!) and I have had to adjust my expectations accordingly.

I am much less 'critical' of myself when I make mistake.  But every warp I do, I notice that I am 'regaining' some of what I 'lost'.

Best of all, through the vehicle of the articles in WEFT I have been able to use my writing as part of my 'therapy'.  And hoping that I can make my body more 'comfortable' I continue to try, and not beat myself up when I have 'mistakes' in my cloth.  I'm making tea towels.  They will still dry dishes...

Just because I have a fancy schmancy loom doesn't mean that I don't make mistakes!  But Life truly *is* a journey.  Sometimes some of the stops along the way aren't very nice, but it is *my* journey.  And since I'm still here, apparently I need to keep going.  If not for WEFT, then for here, if nothing else?

Onwards...

The Best Thing

 

The only thing better than sending a box of stuff to a magazine?  Is getting it back again.

(No previews - you'll see it soon enough.)

I've been writing articles for WEFT for, um, a year now.  They keep asking me if I'm interested in doing more and guess what?  

I *am*!  :D

It doesn't hurt that they encourage me to dig deep(er) and explore more.  And with the help of a friend, I've managed to roll the writing into my recovery.  I'm nearly at the 10 month point and after (more!) changes to my health and body maintenance, I can say that I'm actually seeing some progress.  When I write I don't need to 'proof read' every sentence.  Multiple times.  Now I can do paragraphs and some of them don't even need typos fixed.  The grammar is still a bit shaky but my friend gently catches them and helps with the editing.  A gift of love that means I can continue to write about what I love - weaving.  There is nothing quite like having a vigilant person riding 'shot gun' with you.

Today I think I am going to declare the current warp 'done'.  There will likely be a towel's worth of warp left, but I'm 'tired'.  And I'd like to move onto the next warp.  This warp has the 'samples' for another article for WEFT and I'd like to get them inspected/repaired and wet finished so that I can see what I have at the end of the long line of effort that takes threads and gets them woven into cloth.

The next warp will be another palate cleanser while I think about the two articles meant for the same issue.  Space in a magazine is at a 'premium' and I want to use 'good' illustrations - 'appropriate' illustrations.  I'd like to illuminate the topic - as best I can.  And again, I'm having to dig deep and think about how best to do that.

Will I succeed?   Time will tell, and the readers will decide if I've done a good enough job.

But I can continue to write, think and breathe weaving.  And for now?  That's enough.

Tugging at the Thread

 

Recently a 'new' weaver asked about teaching others in an 'informal' setting.

I thought about that for a while and decided that, with an 'informal' setting, it doesn't really matter where you begin.

The craft is so huge, the complexity vast, the 'it depends' questions never ending - you just need to jump in and start tugging at the threads.

The big thing is a willing student and a willing teacher.  Each needs to be willing to participate in the exercise of the transfer of knowledge and to 'see' where they might be going 'wrong' and to adjust their course(s). Inevitably, the 'teacher' will learn as much - maybe more - than the 'student'.

I wove the above scarf for a class for School of Sweet Georgia.  As far as 'perfection' goes, it isn't.  But it is *typical* based on the behaviour of threads.  In the lace areas, you can see the difference in the take up of the yarns within the change of the weave structures.  In the plain weave areas, there is a hint of tracking, where the purple crosses the pink and the distribution of the yarns is not equal.  (Tracking will always look more extreme when the warp/weft are in high contrast - colour or value.)

But the tracking was 'even' and in the end lent the cloth a richness of colour/texture as the two hues mixed or concentrated across the cloth.

One of the things about writing articles for WEFT is that I am getting the chance to re-visit my 'knowledge' and dig deeper, and do it in a concentrated way.  I am having ah-ha moments, but also moments of satisfaction when my long held assumptions are proven to be accurate (within what I am trying to do).  

I could weave for the rest of my life just choosing topics to dig deeper into.  But I am also exploring now, more.  My brain seems to be recovering somewhat, although the surgeon warned me I might never recover what I had before I fell.  OTOH, I'm turning 75 soon - nothing about this body is functioning quite  the way it used to do.  Oh, well.  

Bottom line?  I'm still here.  I *can* still weave.  I seem to be thinking a bit more clearly (and my friend hasn't yet gotten fed up with raking through my word salads) and I can still log onto the internet and post things like this. 

So I guess I'm not 'done' yet?  

Time to go tug on a few threads....

Father's Day

 

I know I've been thinking about my dad a lot.  And my brother.  This is probably my favourite photo of the 3 of us together.  I was 10, my brother would have been 3.5.  

Dad was never comfortable being 'in charge' of us kids, but needs must and mom was having minor surgery so he was 'stuck' with us.

(This was Granville Street in Vancouver, and the street photographers always took pictures of people.  Mom made sure she got the 'ticket' so she could buy a couple prints.   That was my role, that day.  Yes, I remember it.)

As life goes on, I have been spending a lot of time wondering 'what's it all about, Alfie'.  

I am the product of my parents.  Both were complex people (as I was to come realize we all are, each in our own way) and it took a while to sort out my relationship with each.  I had a lot more time with mom - twice as long, give or take.  And one of my biggest regrets was not getting to know my dad as an adult.  

I suppose the last summer he was with us I got to know him 'better', but there are so many more things I would have liked to talk to him about.  Instead the last 6 years of his life was him dealing with constant pain and feeling sick and tired.

And now here I am confronting some of the same symptoms, but different 'illness'.  Makes me wish I knew more about how he dealt with it all.

And I think about my brother, who also died 'too soon'.  I don't really feel my dad's 'presence' much anymore.  But I still frequently feel my brother.  And I know it's just my own memories, remembering him.  I got to know Don better than dad because I spent more time with Don and we talked.  All those 'Alfie' questions that I never got a chance to discuss with dad.  

So, today is a day to remember.  A distant father, who also neither pushed me away.  A 'little' brother who was a bit of a brat in his younger years, but grew up into a man I loved and respected.  Both gone, but never forgotten.

Themes

 

I think I've decided on this for the next warp.  Still mulling over my colour options, which are, shall we say, limited?  

Never mind.

This is a re-take of an idea I had a couple years ago when I was working through that 'advancing twill block' structure - although I didn't realize it until I saw the complete drawdown.  Not sure which 'side' I will use as the 'right' side, but as usual I will weave it 'lifting fewest shafts'.

I'm not sure why Life has to be so damned 'challenging' right now, but it is, and I will have to get through it, best I can.  It isn't just me, of course.  Politics is getting rather surreal and a lot of people are becoming - at the least - uneasy.  Many others are facing actual harm, most of it directed by 'our' politicians.  I include 'us' because we have our (un)fair share of (trying to think of a polite word - let's go with) angry people who are in 'charge' right now.

It is becoming clear that we have left 'normal' or even 'reasonable' behind and I have no idea where it is going to end, other than tears for some, and actual blood for others.

If you, like me, would like to fix things, but can't, the first thing to remember is to not let them grind you down.

Last night I hit a 'wall' and realized I needed to step away from the screens, take a deep breath and try to get some sleep.  Like a choir - some people will run out of breath on a long held note and it is perfectly ok to take a breath and let the rest of the choir carry the note until you can breathe again.

Or like the flight attendant advises - when the oxygen masks drop, put on yours *first* and *then* help the others around you.

If you make things - whatever that means to you - keep making.  Keep creating.  Keep putting 'good' energy out into the world.  Even if all you can do is gift what you make.  Right now I've essentially shut down my ko-fi shop since the US is playing bouncy ball with tariffs and Canada Post is in labour negotiations, which may result in another shut down of the mail.  

OTOH, you can still buy my books (in the US there is no tariff because they are printed in the US) or you can get the pdf versions any time.  And my classes at School of Sweet Georgia and Long Thread media (Handwoven), ditto any time.

I Can See Clearly (or not)

 

This is a screen shot I just took from earth null school website.  All that yellow?  That's smoke from wildfires.  And we are under the leading edge of it in that little circle.

This morning I saw a comment on social media from someone in Manitoba.  They were shocked - shocked! - that the smoke pall they were under was from...you guessed it...BC.  As if they haven't been under *our* smoke every year for the last, I dunno, 10 years?

But right now they have thousands of people evacuated from active monstrous wildfires, and they are shocked because the smoke they are experiencing is from...BC.

I suggested that they should tell their politicians to stop building pipelines...

No mention that *their* smoke was drifting as far south as the southern US states and out to the Maritimes and beyond.

Time for a bunch of people to wake up and smell the smoke.

Wildfire smoke is a visible danger, and yet STILL people don't wear a mask to protect their lungs.  I mean, I get that people are ignoring Covid and other virii - they are invisible.  But wildfire is right in your face, in your eyes, in your lungs.  A person might want to protect themselves?  Or nah.

Right now our new prime minister is vowing to build big, build better.  And then supports more pipelines.  More dirty oil being pumped out of the ground and shipped to China - where they have the infrastructure to process it.  Because *we* don't.  We never have had.  Big Oil refused to build refineries from the get go when they could just pump and ship and count the money flowing in while the dirty oil flowed out.

Pretty sure humans are going to continue to damage the one (previously) habitable planet until we kill ourselves off.  OTOH, this planet quite happily lived without humans for millions of years.  Maybe it's time to let it be to heal - without us?  Or at least stop killing the one and only planet we can actually live on?  

Dunno.  

In the meantime we are doing our level best to live as lightly as we can on this planet.

Change One Thing

 

When I say 'change one thing, everything can change' some people don't realize that they are actually changing anything when they change brands of yarn.  Or if they don't understand that the way yarn has been spun will impact the quality of their cloth.  Or the experience during weaving.

Let's look at some yarn up close and personal.

The above photo is two yarns that are rated 2/16 (the red/rust on the left) and 16/2 (teal) on the right.

Hold up, you might say, those aren't the same!

No.  No, they are not.

Because the only piece of information that you have is the number of yards per pound, and nothing else.

The 'count' merely tells you the length per weight, not how the fibres were prepared for and the method of spinning.

The open end spun yarn (the teal in the above photograph) is weaker, loftier (more trapped air in it), and has more 'loose' fibre sticking out of it.  Since it is weaker, it will not behave nicely during beaming (if used as warp), it will cast off more lint during weaving and the quality of cloth you weave will be different from a ring spun yarn of the same count.  The ring spun yarn will be stronger, create less lint during weaving, and withstand abrasion better than the open end yarn.

Even if you are not interested in spinning, per se, it's a really good idea to understand how your materials are created so that you can use them 'properly'.

And this is why a ruler wrap is just a starting place.  Given that the open end spun yarn is thicker/loftier than the ring spun, the weaver may want to adjust their epi/ppi to accommodate that difference, too.  

I've just finished a rather large cone of 20/2 unmercerized cotton (as weft) and switched to 2/20 mercerized cotton for weft.  The difference is slight, and I won't know how much of a difference will be made to my cloth until I wet finish both.  In some ways I prefer the mercerized yarn because it is providing a 'crisper' look to the motif.  In the end I may like both - for different reasons.

But change one thing?  And everything can change...

Making Changes

 

This is the potential 'right' side of the cloth currently on the loom.  Of course I did not enter the colours I used - I can visualize what that will look like, well enough, plus I can now look 'under' the web to see them more clearly.  But, overall, I'm pleased enough with this.

I'm also quite certain that I am not the first person to weave something like this.  It's 'only' various twill progressions, strung together to make a motif.  But neither do I much care.  Weavers have been interlacing warp and weft for quite literally thousands and thousands of years.  I doubt I'm the first to come up with this, and likely will not be the last!

Since the face plant last August, I have had to come to grips with the changed circumstances of my life, due to an injured body.  At the last pain management meeting we talked about 'Acceptance'.  Since I've had to do this numerous times, I'm no stranger to the concept and pretty well practiced in applying it.

Not that it becomes easier!  I still resent that my body now has injuries that I must deal with on a daily basis.  But when I feel myself sinking into the bog of wallows, I remember to look up and out, and recognize that the alternative is that I would not be alive now, if I hadn't survived all these things.

And, because I *am* still alive...well, I need to find a way to keep moving forward and living my life.  Because it is the only one I have.

So - acceptance.  This is not 'giving up', it is simply a recognition that these circumstances are here in my life and I need to deal with them.  Acceptance is saying "I am here, on this map - where do I go from here, and how might I get somewhere else that feels more comfortable."

Acceptance doesn't mean laying down in the bog and slowly disappearing from view, but working out how best to proceed, given those current circumstances.

Acceptance allows me to recognize where and when I have some sort of control.  Fortunately I have enough money I can invest in myself (right now - all things can change) and so I am pursuing another approach.  If nothing else, if I can rule things out, I might stumble across what the actual problem is?

It is a way to take some kind of 'control' over what is happening.  And who knows, we may discover something 'wrong' that can actually be 'fixed' instead of me slogging through each day, up to my knees in bog, with the water rising?

And I hang on tightly to the fact that my brain appears to be managing some healing.  A couple of people have mentioned that my writing seems improved.  My spouse has become adept at asking me to clarify what I have just said without making me feel like an idiot.  And little by little, I *think* I will be able to keep going.

Will I be able to do Zoom presentations again?  I don't know.  I have booked an 'interview' with HGA in July for their Tea and Textiles program (July 22, if anyone is interested) and after I do that I will have a better idea if I *can* speak publicly and teach.  An interview is different than teaching a class, so I am hoping I won't lose my language and serve up some word salad.  But how draining will I find it?  Would I be able to actually teach?  I might have to try doing something informal and see how I manage.

And if I can't, there are still my books and my online classes*.  And if people email me, I can wait until I'm functioning, and proof read several times before hitting 'send'.

*School of Sweet Georgia

*Long Thread Media/Handwoven

*WEFT Magazine

June 6

 

I have very few photographs of my dad, most of them blurry 'snaps'.  This studio portrait is one of the few I have.  (The inset is one of those blurry 'snaps' taken when he was around 10 years old.)

For the past few years I've pulled this photo out, again and again, wondering what my father would make of the world right now.  He died in 1975, long before the mad tip into fascism began - again.

I wonder if he is cognizant of what is happening now.  Perhaps he's been re-incarnated into another life cycle and has no memory of his life here and his experiences in WWII.

Impossible to know.

Nevertheless, I wonder what he would make of the happenings going on right now.  If he *does* know, I expect he would be appalled.

He was never one to say much.  Generally when he did speak, we tended to listen intently, since it was rare for him to voice an opinion.  Somehow, the less he said, the more my brother and I paid attention.

In many ways he was typical of a 'Canadian'.  He and two of his sisters were born in Canada.  I think one was born in the US, and the rest were born...well, we don't really know.  His family's immigration papers said they set sail from Belarus, but they identified as German.  It was not 'easy' for him to enter the Canadian military.  His army records said that he was 'thick' when what they meant was that he had never had an opportunity to attend school.  Rather a couple of his older siblings made sure that he could write - or rather 'draw' - his signature and understand some written language.  

He was very much a 'go along to get along' kind of person.  He didn't much care if he was proved 'right' about anything.  But the last thing he was, was 'thick'.  

So, when he offered an observation or opinion, I paid attention.  He was one of those people who didn't tell you what you should think, but made open end statements which left me, at least, thinking, and to draw my own conclusions.

It wasn't until years later and after his death that I was able to begin to see how much he influenced me.

So today's goings on?  I *think* I know what he would think.  But I don't really know.

I know far more about my mother, who lived until age 90.  And many of the things she thought or opinions she expressed are not mine.  I got tired of 'fighting' with her and told her we were going to have to agree to disagree on something - at which she got frustrated.  But somehow I felt that dad would not have agreed with her, either, he just would not have engaged with her to try and change her mind.  Which was solidly set in her ways.  OTOH, dad may have been a moderating influence - although perhaps not.  

As I think about my parents, and take a gander at the world as it is now, I am constantly intrigued by human beings.  The more I learn about human behaviour, the less I understand 'us'.   

But I am well aware that on June 6, all those decades ago, my father was one of those lowly soldiers waiting in the boats off the coast of Juno Beach, about to make the mad scramble to the beach, not knowing what was going to happen, or if he would survive.  

I am still here - aware of history, aware of the current push to fascism, the fear mongering, the 'othering', the stoking of hatred of the 'other', the much larger number of people who appear to be willing to trample all over someone else they fear are getting something something gazpacho and willing to strip large categories of folk from any human rights at all.

So I will continue to say #elbowsUp

I will continue to say 'love not hate'.

I will continue to try to help people, not trample them underfoot just because some megalomaniac tells me that those people are the cause of all my misery.

I will continue to try to support others.  Accept them even when they are being targeted for no reason than their skin colour, or because they have a 'funny accent', or for whom they love. 

Because I cannot go to fight a war.  But I do not need to comply in advance with those who wish harm on others.  I can resist.  I can stand up and say 'this is not right'.

I can be my father's daughter, to the extent I am able.

Two Faced

 

Latest on the loom

Continuing my quest to use up stash, some of it much older than I even know because 'stash', but I'm quite pleased with how this is looking on the loom so far.

The 'back' is likely going to be the 'face' as this cloth is 'unbalanced' - in other words, more of the warp shows on one side, more of the weft on the other.

Does this means that the cloth is somehow 'wrong'?  No, not at all.  It just means that more warp than weft shows on one side and vice versa.

There are times when I do weave 'balanced' fabric, when the warp to weft ratio is 50/50.  But when I have a choice, I will lift fewer shafts.  When weaving on a loom with lots of shafts, and you have to lift the shafts to make the shed, making the lift 'lighter' means less stress and strain on the body.  When I was production weaving (10,000+ picks a day) having a lighter work load was better for my body.  Now that my body is wearing out, continuing with that approach seems like a really good idea.

For this particular cloth I am lifting 7 shafts.  It may not seem like much, to reduce the lift by just one shaft on a loom that already has a 'light' lift, but I'm in my mid-70s now.  Doing less is always preferable.

Instead of designing a 'fancy' twill over 8 shafts, like I've been doing to illustrate articles for WEFT, this is a 'palate' cleanser.  The next issue I will write for I'll do two articles, and before I begin sorting out the information going into the articles, it's good to give my brain something to work on, in between the article I just finished writing, and the ones I do 'next'.  

I've been emailing with a couple of new weavers, and I'm hoping they get past the frustrations of learning, because they seem eager to really dig into the craft.  But they are asking really good questions, wanting serious answers, and it's hard to not put them off by the shear barrage of information that goes into every cloth that gets designed.  

One of them said it was like peeling layers off an onion, and, since it is an analogy I've frequently used, I had to agree with them.

Anyway, I'm nearly finished that huge cone of 20/2 white cotton.  Once that is gone, I will switch to 2/20 mercerized cotton in natural and see how much of that I can use up.  In the meantime, I need to think about where I want to go with the next two articles and planning whatever weaving I feel needs to be shown.  Re-tooling my approach to designing back to 4 or 8 shafts has been a little bit of a challenge for me, but it has been a good exercise.  But I feel like I need to take a 'break'.  This warp is working out well, and I haven't yet spotted a threading error.  We'll see if I find one after wet finishing...

Not A Myth (politics)

 

Alberta Storm Watch (group on Facebook) posted this photo of one of the fires burning right now.

BC has seen it's (un)fair share of out of control wildfires, but this year?  Mother Nature is making a much bigger impact by burning up the 3 prairie provinces.  You know, our bread basket?  

So far we are doing ok in BC but after years of a wildfire season that began earlier and earlier, leaving 'zombie' fires to overwinter and spring back to life, we have only a 'few' fires to deal with.  So far.  The season has only begun, things could get very ugly for humans and the environment at any moment.

And yet, the first ministers just held a 'conference' in Saskatoon, SK, where certain politicians seem bent on complete destruction by making plans to pump more gas and oil.  To what end?  Oh, maybe it might mean a few more % points in the GDP, but at what cost?

Personally we have made every effort we can to reduce, reuse, recycle and use less gas/oil.  When we watch the politicians, who are *supposed* to be looking to protect the future stamp their feet and demand 'support the O&G industry' I begin to wonder that the efforts we as individuals have made just been but a drop in the bucket.  

The sheer magnitude of the fire situation here and elsewhere (Australia, Africa, the US and other places) is beyond comprehension.  To look at the photo I've taken from the Alberta Storm Watch group only gives a hint, the barest indication, of what is happening.

We have been watching a documentary series on Knowledge Network called Wildfire.  It is beyond sobering.

Governments continue to ignore the situation.  Ignore the harm happening to the earth, prepare to mine more coal (for fuck's sake, why!?) and pump gas and oil.  

I have no answers.  I'm just one of a very few voices, with zero 'power' to change things.  In the meantime I hold my breath as half of my country is at threat of fires that threaten us *and everything else in their path*.  Mother Earth seems determined to amputate a few limbs to save herself.  

Will humans be one of them?

Time will tell.

Not All The Same

 

I've been answering questions for a long time, even when I only knew a 'little' bit, and I've seen many of the same questions - and assumptions - presented for a very long time.  The additions to the weaving community tend to come in 'waves', and every few years I find myself addressing the same issues over and over again.  In this day of the internet, where most people assume that everything they want to know can be found on the internet, it is very easy for someone to ask, and be given an answer that doesn't really address their concerns.

I begin to feel like a 'broken record' (and if you don't know what that means, you're young.)

At times I withdraw, but then I see answers that don't actually help the person, or may lead them astray.  I see answers that are definitive, when the only true short answer is 'it depends'.

So I try to find the true question the person is asking and answer that, as best I am capable of doing, in a way that (I hope) doesn't discourage the person.

Because the enormity of the body of knowledge can be extremely intimidating!  OTOH, that very vastness of things to be learned was what drew me to the craft in the first place.

I appreciate that new practitioners of the craft wants to have instant good results.  But just the other day I was reminded that learning a new skill takes time.  It's extremely difficult to be 'perfect' the first time you tackle a new skill, and we have to allow ourselves the time and repetition to lay down the new neuropathways in our brains.

Given my recent brain injury, I am re-learning how to speak and to write.  And it doesn't go smoothly because some days are 'better' than others.  My spouse is patient, but I get frustrated with myself.  Which is the time for me to take a deep breath and try again.

I'm sure that the people asking the questions get impatient with people like me who answer their question with more questions.  But to truly inform, to effectively help them, I need to know more.

Because not all yarns are the same.  They, just like children in the school room, have different 'needs' and you need to handle them appropriately.  

Like everything else in life, how you weave becomes a spectrum, not an either or situation.

Every cloth needs to be treated appropriately.  Rug weavers may have difficulty changing their beat in order to weave lace.  A weaver used to 4/8 cotton may find that what they do needs to be adjusted in order to deal with that 2/20 silk, or 2/60 silk.

What do I recommend?  Read a book.  Or more.  Watch some videos.  Filter them through the view of what you know, and what you *want* to know.  Because different teachers will have different approaches.  Above all, give yourself the time of *mindful* practice.  Pay attention to what you are doing and assess your progress.  Consider what you might want to change, and how that change might look.

No one told me to build a humidor.  I didn't even have the name for it - but I knew what it needed and how to make it happen.  It was only when I did a blog post (I think) that someone told me such a device was called a 'humidor'.  

Be open to change things when something is not working well.  Use your judgement, but don't be criticizing what you are doing.  You are on a journey of learning.  In the case of weaving, it may turn into of lifetime of learning.

I know that it has for me.