Being Heard

 

One of the reasons I started this blog was that I hadn't died in 2008.  It was, in part, a celebration of the fact that I was still here, still weaving.  But it was a struggle between this body and me, and since I 'process' much of what I am going through by writing about it, I shared what was happening here.

Now, my mother was a very 'proper' lady.  In her world you never, ever, talked about your troubles.  You just combed your hair, put your lipstick on, and you went out into the world with a smile on your face.

I was a different person, and took a different approach.

She would hate how much I've shared on here about my struggles.  If you are struggling, in her world view, you pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and never, ever, admitted to 'weakness'.  

But I learned early that everyone has struggles.  Some may be more immediate or difficult than someone else's, but we all have them.

And sometimes you just need to be 'heard' as you fight your way through the hills and valleys, the rough patches in the road, the challenging climb up the mountain sides.

I learned that we all get tired, that we need to rest - at times - and that sometimes you just need to ask a friend for support.  Mostly, by sharing what I was dealing with (rarely the full extent, just the broad outlines), it let people that were in similar difficulties know that they were not alone.

Usually I wait until I have solved a problem that I will share what was going on, in part to let people know that yes, while Life can be Difficult, you can usually find a way through.

By speaking out I feel that others, who might be similarly dealing with rocky roads, will see that I have also trodden those rocky roads, and I'm still here, still surviving.  And maybe, they think that they can, too.

So I share.  I don't expect solutions, but sometimes someone will say something that sparks a new thought, a new direction for me.  And sometimes it helps.  Generally, though, I've already tried nearly everything that I can think of, but sometimes someone suggests something new.

With that thought of learning more about how bodies 'work' (or don't), I have registered for a pain management class.  Every Thursday morning from 10-12 I will attend (remotely, thankfully) and see what I can learn.

I have tried for years to figure out what is going on with this body so I have some broad knowledge, but I'm not an 'expert' - not by any means.

This coming week I will be trying a 'new' drug - a 'hail Mary' attempt to find something that will help reduce my pain without causing other problems because of 'adverse effects'.  If it doesn't work I will likely return to the one I'm currently taking, but I will need to take other drugs to reduce the adverse effects it brings.  So, I am really hoping hard that this new drug will work for me.  As one health professional said, when it works it works well, but it doesn't always work for everyone - and you won't know until you try.

So, I am going to try.

And I will continue to share via this blog.  I don't expect everyone to be interested, but some are.  And sometimes people will contact me to share what they are going through.  I am happy to listen, and commiserate at how challenging Life can be, at times.  And I will send them positive/healing thoughts.  As I have been listened to, I will listen to others.  

This liminal time between casting my vote and finding out the results is stressful.  One political party offers support to Canadian citizens, while the other...well they only want to support people like themselves, and if you need help - like me - you should just go away.

To get through the next few days, I will proceed as 'usual' - weaving.  Starting the next article for WEFT.  Because the world will not be destroyed in an instant, but slowly.  One 'right' at a time, for one 'group' after another.

Unless.  Unless we stand up to be counted.  And in our society, we are counted by our votes.  So if you haven't yet - plan on voting.  Plan on long lines - with record setting numbers voting on day one of advance polling.  Bring a folding chair and a bottle of water and maybe a book to while away the time.  But this is *your* time to be heard.  Vote.  Bring a friend.  (We brought our neighbour who can't drive right now.)

Democracy is a participation effort.  Make sure your voice is heard.

Fallow

 

The word 'fallow' is not one that 'we' use much these days.  But it is something that human beings ignore when they should be paying attention.

When a field is 'fallow', it is not a 'waste'.  A field is left 'fallow' in order to allow it to 'rest'.  Sometimes the farmer will plant a crop that will regenerate the nutrients in the field, sometimes it is helped by the addition of fertilizers - be that from compost or bags of chemicals.

It is a recognition that the land is getting 'tired' and needs some time to recover before it can properly feed whatever crop the farmer wants to plant there 'next'.

Human beings seem to be more focused on 'doing' - instead of 'being'.  We forget at our peril that our bodies need rest.  And that allowing some time to be 'fallow' is not a 'waste' but necessary.  

There are times when I'm designing something and I will set it aside for a bit.  Then, when I return to working on it, I can see it more 'clearly'.  Sometimes I toss out what I've done, sometimes I will make small changes, correct errors.  Like with this draft.  When I split the motifs between the front and back 8 shafts, I made a progression error.  When I returned to the draft with clearer eyes, I spotted that error and fixed it.

When I write, I leave the text alone for a while before trying to edit it.  While the text is left to 'rest', my brain keeps nibbling away at it.   Then when I return to take up the editing role, my brain has had a chance to think through what information I want to convey, and consider my word choices.  Does this word or phrase make sense, or only to me?  If I want to help educate others, I need to get to where they are in order to lead them further along the path of knowledge.  Especially a craft as complex as weaving.  (Well, all of the crafts are, I just happen to know more about weaving than anything else...)

Saying that weaving is 'complex' doesn't mean that people can't weave, can't make good cloth, can't choose good projects and their own colours even while new to the craft. 

But I feel that people who know more about the complexity of the cloth/craft should try to share 'good' knowledge.  Knowledge that will help others to understand some of the complexity involved in creating cloth, so that they can make good decisions and come closer to what they want to make.  

I would say - and do it without mistakes - but I would be giving assurances I cannot, given the number of mistakes I *still* make.  The previous warp had 3 threading errors.  I *hope* this one does not.  I took a quick look at it last night and it *looks* good on the loom.  So far.

Yesterday I, Doug and our neighbour, went to vote.  We chose to vote during 'advance' polling and were confronted with a line up - something unheard of!  We didn't wait long, but I heard throughout the day that line ups continued, not just here, but in multiple locations across the country.

Now I need to leave the election 'behind' because I have done my duty and the next few days need to continue until all Canadians have had an opportunity to vote.  And for those votes to be counted.

Yesterday I finished setting up the above warp and wove about 10".  I wanted to get it weaving so I could do a cursory look for threading errors.  Finding none (that I can see) I am now ready to finish weaving the last of the linen, then tackle one of the (huge) cones of 20/2 white cotton (unmercerized).  The warp is 2/20 merc. cotton, so the contrast of the shiny merc. and matt unmerc. yarn should be a nice subtle effect that will show off the complex patterning without looking too 'op art'.

Yesterday I also emailed the text for the next article for WEFT - forgetting it was a holiday weekend.  But hitting 'send' means I have put a period on that project.  I can now clear away the clutter generated in the production of that article.  And I can move on.  That project is now in other hands, and my brain can go 'fallow' for a few days while I weave this warp - and think about what I want to write.  

Next week I should also get the new medication.  Time for me to just 'be' for a while and wait to see a) who has won the right to govern Canada, b) if the 'hail Mary' drug will work for me.

In the meantime I *can* still weave, so I will.

Civic Duty (yes, politics)

 I Voted.

When I was in high school, I benefited from having young and enthusiastic teachers.  Social Studies class became particularly interesting because they covered 'current events' and - at the time - Canada was going through some tempestuous times.  We learned about the history of my own country as the basis of understanding what was happening.  It was illuminating.

If you have never heard of the FLQ, especially if you are a Canadian, time you learned.

My teachers were thorough, covering the rights of different regions in Canada, but they were also aware of the history of The Indian Act, and how shabbily colonial populations had treated the First Nations - something I didn't know very much about, but I am grateful I learned about that part of our history. 

Now, some people might criticize my teachers for teaching our history, including the things that were done that weren't very 'Christian' or even very 'humane', but I have always appreciated them teaching such a broad class in such a way as to give us the facts - and then let the students make up their minds about those facts.

For me, it was 'easy'.  I had read books, not just fiction, but non-fiction, in part because I found things interesting.  Understanding, even at a rudimentary level, how things worked?  Seemed like something I should know.

Understanding how things happened in the past, helped understand what was happening then and there.  

I will never forget the day we were discussing the FLQ and the rights of Quebecois, and one student stuck his hand up and said that if the French didn't like living in Canada they should go back to France.  I put my hand up and said that given how the French had been 'here' before the British, why should they go back?

And then my teacher, one of my favourite (there have been many but I will never forget Mr. Gordon) said, I wonder how the 'Indians' (the term First Nations wasn't commonly in use in 1966) feel about sending us *all* back to Europe?

It was like a gigantic bucket of cold water thrown over me and I sat back and chewed on that thought for a while.

Now, Mr. Gordon did NOT 'turn' me into a 'liberal'.  The tendency was there all along.  I was a Sunday School attendee, then did a bible study course so that I could become a full fledged member of the church (so yes, I've been baptized twice as some 'born again' person insisted all 'true' Christians were supposed to be), and took the teachings of Jesus to heart.  

I also learned about the Crusades, the Holy Roman Empire, the Christian excuse for conquering the 'new world', etc.

My tendency to be 'liberal' continued long after I graduated high school, and my exploration of my world outside of my reality bubble continues to this day.

We are in a perilous time.  I don't know how this election will turn out.  I *hope* the alt right gets beaten back from the gates, but I doubt we can get them out of our world entirely.

In the meantime, I still have the right to vote, so I exercised that right today.  It's been referred to as our 'right to bitch' card.  But elections are not decided by just one riding (ours is historically right wing, ever more right as the months have gone by), but hopefully the majority of Canadians will get out over the next few days and vote and keep this country more 'liberal' than 'fascist'.

As I stood in line (almost unheard of in this riding! - I expect the numbers to be surprising) and thought about my father and father-in-law and other family friends who served in WWII.  The least I can do is get out and cast my vote...

3D and Weaving

 

Yesterday I finished pressing the towels from the warp I wet finished over the past few days.  

As I pressed, I got to see the cloth from different angles from what I usually view cloth from, and I was reminded - yet again - that cloth can have a 3D effect, especially when weaving an 'unbalanced' cloth - as in weaving more weft on one side with more warp on the other.

The whole subject of 'balance' is difficult for some people to understand, in part because we can refer to a cloth as being 'balanced' or 'unbalanced' for different things.

For example, plain weave.  If we say 'balanced' it *usually* refers to the same number of warp and weft so that neither the warp or the weft takes over from the other.  But you *can* use a plain weave and weave it 'unbalanced', such as for tapestry, where the weft (usually - there's that word again) is all that is seen, or warp faced, where the weft is pretty much invisible, hidden by the warps.

This draft was designed over 8 shafts, but since I would not have enough heddles on 8, I split the threading and used the first 8 for a repeat, then the back 8 for a repeat, etc.

Apparently that was a little bit too much for my brain to process because I made not one, not two, but three threading errors, in spite of working slowly and carefully.  So this entire warp is 'seconds'.  I have not decided if I will sell them as such, or just give them away.

Yesterday I gave my doctor a pair of tea towels (I mean, everyone can use a tea towel, right???)  He said I didn't have to do that, but I know how hard everyone in health care is working right now (especially), and I want to express my gratitude to them and the best way I can do that, I feel, is to give them some of my weaving.  Because my health care 'team' is literally keeping me going right now.

It's too soon to tell how effective the injections in my back are going to work, and my pharmacist and family doctor are working together to get me the 'hail Mary' drug, hopefully by the end of this week, or maybe next.  They were still working out the details yesterday.

At this point I no longer hope for pain 'free', but pain 'less' would be good.  And being able to sleep would be great, too. 

Schrodinger Day

 

This week has several 'Schrodinger" days in it.  Right now I am waiting until it is time to head to the hospital and get the injection in my back.  And then - hopefully - tomorrow I might hear about the new drug I have asked to try - even though it is off even the 'off' list of options.  Last year I changed pharmacies, and I'm so glad I did.  It's a smaller owner/operator business and so far I have received excellent 'customer service'.  

The new drug is a 'hail Mary' option and I've been warned that it doesn't help everyone (well NONE of them helped thus far without adverse effects that are just not tenable) and I feel like I have to at least *try* and see if it will help me.

Yesterday I spent what energy I had on pressing (half of the towels ready to be pressed) and then threading.  The threading draft is quite a complex one, made more so because I didn't want to shift heddles on shafts so I split the threading between the front 8 and the back 8 shafts.

After I get the injection everyone tells me I'm to take several days of 'light duty' so I have the rest of the pressing to do, and then the final polish/edit for the current article.  If I can see my way to getting that into the mail today, I can cross that one off the list.

I'm of two minds about that article, but ultimately it will be the editor who will decide if it is appropriate for the magazine.  However, if it is not, I still have time to re-write it.  One of the advantages of not waiting until the last possible second to finish a project!

In the meantime, I have sort of put the next article aside until I can clear my desk off and focus on it.  In the meantime this warp is another option (the previous warp was intended for the article, but I'm not entirely sure if I'll use it).

Yesterday I booked the guild room to do a weavers get together on May 25 at 1 pm.  Hopefully I should have my hard copy of WEFT magazine by then, and I'll bring the two boxes of samples I did for those so that people can see them up close and personal.  :)

But for this morning, I'm trying to distract myself until it is time to leave the hospital in about an hour.  I won't thread because I'm focused on getting the shot and will be too distracted to follow the draft.  It is just better if I sit in this liminal space, waiting to see if the jab will, or will not, work.

Schrodinger.  It is, or is not - until you find out.

Expectations

 

The warp is beamed, ready to thread.  But I'm having a lot of pain so I don't think I'll be managing to begin threading today.  My next back injection is Tuesday, then 3 days of 'light duties' and then I'll see how I'm feeling.  I may try threading a bit as part of those 'light duties' but I've lined up a few other things that also need to be done and are truly 'light' when it comes to the 'duty' so we'll see how it goes.

I'm really scraping hard on the bottom of my cotton stash so I beamed a warp of 2/20 merc. cotton (left over from a couple other things) and will begin by weaving off the last of the Lithuanian linen.  This will make a really lovely quality of cloth (I've 'sampled' it - it's nice tea towel cloth)  There truly is almost nothing left of the linen, but then I've got a gigantic cone of unmerc. 20/2 cotton to use up.  I've enjoyed weaving with the linen and the quality of cloth that results, but I think I need to focus on other things for a while.  Since sales are pretty much non-existent right now, I don't really want to spend the money to buy more if all they are going to do is sit in my ko-fi shop.  :(

The new threading draft is a variation on a Swedish Snowflake motif.  What can I say?  My brain has not been functioning due to sleep disruption due to the pain medication, but I should also get a new drug next week so I'm anxious to try it and see if it is any better than the rest.  In the meantime I'm trying to not...challenge...myself too much.  But I also feel the need to weave, just for the physical activity (and the dopamine top up.)

I was moaning to a friend the other day about what I should do - maybe make my 'standard' warp length shorter.  But she pointed out all that meant was that I would get less weaving time per loom dressing time, meaning I would be doing even *more* loom dressing and less weaving.  :(  She's right, of course!

And the tariffs are...paused...again.  For 90 days if you can believe what he says.  Do I do a pop up 'sale' while it is still possible to get things into the US without a tariff???  Dunno.  

Spring has about sprung here, but so far as I can tell we are still teetering on 'drought' conditions.  The bush is far too dry, the snow pack too small.  I hope that we are spared wildfires this year, although there is no reason that we might be, given climate change and...drought.

Given the state of North American politics, I suppose we can write off any expectation of help from US wildfire fighters, but hopefully our other allies will be able to.  Be interesting to see if the US expects Canada to send wildfire fighters to help them, like we did early this year, sending water bombers to help California...  Since I doubt the administration would appreciate the assistance, I'm not sure we should.  Or could, depending on what is happening here.

Every year it becomes more and more obvious that climate change is NOT a myth but very real.  And that it has arrived.  And that it will get worse if we don't DO something about it.  Our election on April 28 will be a watershed moment for our country.  I hope that Canadians meet the challenge and vote for those who are willing to try to *fix* things instead of letting everything burn to the ground.  In some cases, quite literally...(looking at you Jasper)...

However, Life Goes On, as they say, so I have contacted my local guild and suggested a weavers gathering on May 25.  I hope I have my copy of WEFT by then, and I will bring my samples for the two articles in that issue.  I have also suggested that if weavers are interested, we could do something similar after each issue comes out.  I'm also feeling like I would like to be more 'present' at the guild (IF I can get the pain under control and IF I can walk up the stairs to the guild room.)

So many changes, many of them not welcome.  But such is Life.  We have to try to figure out work arounds.  It's time to put the soup pot on.  Better get that done, too.  At least it means I won't have to 'cook' the next couple of days as my biggest pot makes enough for 3 days.  I'm glad Doug isn't picky and doesn't mind 'leftovers'...they are pretty much my favourite item on the menu, chez Laura's...

Production Line

 

I bit the proverbial bullet today and started working on the samples - again.

What you see in the photo are just *some* of the samples I wove - there is a bin on the back of the loom with more in it - because there just wasn't enough room on my work table to hold the rest.

My work table is a table of all 'work'.  This is where I cut/serge my things before wet finishing, then press it.  Between the serger and the press, plus some work 'clutter', there isn't really much room to do very much.  But I can sit while I work at something like this, and I have good task lighting, plus my other odds and sods.

I had done some prep work before I wet finished the samples - I needed to be able to match them up to their 'before with after', but it was still complex, and frankly, when working with fairly fine yarn (2/20 merc. cotton) to fairly thick (4/8 cotton) plus some other yarns I wanted to test, it was getting really hard to tell them apart.

If I was having problems identifying them, anyone else down the work chain would probably have an even harder time.  So, to make it easier for others (who may or may not be familiar with the yarns I used) I decided I'd better document them very carefully.

Since I haven't been feeling...great...it was a level of 'detail' work I really wasn't in the mood to do - but needs must.  I have made a promise to myself that before beginning another article I will finish the one I'm working on.  My brain only processes so much before it becomes overwhelmed and I can't function - at all.

I cut it close on this article because I have already begun working on the 'next' article.  The loom is about to become 'nekkid' because I cut the warp off yesterday, cut/serged yesterday afternoon, then inspected/repaired this morning.  Those towels are ready to go into the washer, but now I want to beam the next warp.  Because that task takes up *all* the space behind the loom.  And since I need to sit on that stool at the work table to press - and there is just no room for me to do that while the loom is set up to be beamed - it's just easier if I get that done and out of my way first.  So that's the job for tomorrow.

Otherwise I spent several hours going through the samples, making sure I had them identified properly, write out 'string' tags to affix to the samples for easy identifying, and then double (or more) checking them as I attached them, suddenly the afternoon is pretty much gone.

I'm not sure if I have the spoons to finish putting away the samples and begin setting up for beaming.  At this point I suspect it must be 'tea' time.

And a pat on my back for getting that part (that I had been *dreading*) done.  Now to do one more pass through the text, correct the list of the samples (I made a couple boo-boos) and then collecting everything to go into a box for when it is time to mail it all to the magazine.

Will I learn anything about *not* procrastinating about a task that I don't want to do?

Doubtful...

The Bog of Life

 

one repeat and borders of the Swedish Snowflake design

Recently I have been playing around with the 'Swedish Snowflake' draft.  One of the things I like to do is muck about and find out what other options are available within a threading draft, especially in the twill 'family'.

In the meantime, Life goes on, frequently more bog-like than a stroll in the park.

I don't know if I am my mother's daughter, or if she just taught me well - either way, especially right now - I have her advice running on repeat:  God helps those who help themselves.

It was one of her favourite sayings and I have had it embedded in my personality, I suppose, be it genetically, or just from constant repeats as I grew up.  And then learned that Life was always going to be more bog-like than park.

As I got older I learned other pithy comments that I absorbed.   The part 2 of the above sentiment is one I learned as a teenager:  Prayer is good, but while you are praying for change, pray for the strength to make the changes you want to happen in the world.

I asked mom one time what her comment meant and I don't remember her actual explanation, but as an adult I have used it to remind me that God is probably more likely to help those who are working hard to improve things themselves.  And if they don't have the time to deal with 'my' problem, maybe I could fix it without involving them?  So, praying for the strength to effect the changes I want to see in the world has always made perfect sense to me.

As a person, I would say that I am solution oriented.  If I see a problem, I will mull it over and try to work out an effective way to 'fix' it.  Or make it suck less.

This week has been challenging as I try - still - to get a grip on my current physical issues.  It took the best part of the week to talk to everyone I felt I needed to talk to, to help me get through this particularly bog-like section of Life.  I finally managed that this morning, after playing telephone tag, trying to juggle several medical professionals and their overbooked days.  I am blessed with an ever growing (it seems) group of health care professionals who are trying to give me the tools to manage my 'old age' and the culmination of physical challenges.

I can still weave - although at a slower pace than previously.  But neither do I need to produce at the same levels I did for the better part of 50 years.  So I have been working on my 'expectations' - what *can* I do, vs what I *want* to do.

Bottom line?  I still want to teach, if I can.  So writing for WEFT has been a god-send (literally!) and they seem to like what I've sent to them (so far).  I reached a point where I just could not finalize the current article, but after talking the doctor this morning, I feel like I've made it through the bog and have hopes of a 'hail Mary' change of medication next week.  He just needs to do some research before he approves the medication - which is off even the off-list pain meds.

I am eternally grateful I live in Canada where medical decisions are between a patient and their doctor (and pharmacist, other specialists) and zero interference by profit generating 'health insurance' companies.  And no, we won't vote Conservative as they insist that health care needs to be 'privatized'.  

Anyway, today I will finish the current warp on the loom, label the samples for the article, read through the text once more and then hit 'send', maybe Sunday night or next Monday.  Next week I have light duties for 3 days after my next back injection, so one of the things I will be doing is fine tuning the next sample warp for WEFT, then setting up the loom to weave the sample(s).  And hope that, by this time next week, I'll be feeling 'better'...

Wishing all y'all 'better', too...

Best Laid Plans (and all that)

 

Human beings, generally, are planners.  We tend to make plans that are do-able, frequently 'best case scenario'.  It's hard to think about the things that will tend to throw our plans 'off' when that nice straight line is sooooo attractive!

But reality is that most people's lives do not proceed in a nice straight line.  Thangs happen.  Or not.

You would think that at my age I would be used to plans going awry.  But no, a part of me maintains that if things just go the way I want them to do, every deadline will be met, every project finished on time, no 'mistakes' or oopsies will need to be fixed.

We have finally arrived at what looks suspiciously like 'spring'.  I am about 7.5 months out from the brain bleed, and still dealing with all the 'other' things my body is annoyed about.  The past two weeks have been challenging and I have fallen down on my attempt to follow The Plan.

I still have several hours left to finish the current article, but I keep waiting until I have more energy, or even just 'feel like it'.  I am poised at the point of 'change' and not entirely sure what direction I will go when I get out of the current trough.

So much depends on what happens over the next couple of weeks before I will be able to judge how much energy (or not) I will have at my disposal.  

Today I had an appointment that cancelled, so instead of a big chunk taken out of my afternoon, I will stay home.  Who knows, maybe I will open my Word file and do the 'inventory' of the samples I wove for the current article.  I don't know how much use the list will be, but it will be useful for myself, if I do 'programs' for the local guild showing my articles/samples to the local weavers.

One of the things I plan on is to begin driving again.  I get the next back injection next week, and I'm going to see if driving is something that I can manage.  

In the meantime, the clock keeps ticking, and we are in suspense until the election is over and we see what direction Canada will go.  I suspect it will not be 'peaceful' given the rise of the alt right, with their big lies and buckets of mis/dis/information.  

In the meantime, I focus on writing about weaving and cloth.  If the apocalypse happens, people will need to know how to make cloth (and clothing).  The least I can do is try to share some of what I know and help the craft stay alive - at whatever level anyone is wanting to pursue it.

Onwards!

Debut

 

Yesterday I got a peep at the new WEFT magazine.  

I have enjoyed writing several articles for WEFT, and am working on the next.  (Just finished roughing out the draft for one of the examples.)

One of the things I am struggling with right now is a distinct lack of energy.  I'm not sleeping much, which I'm thinking is an adverse reaction to the current pain meds, and I am really having a hard time getting my engine started - and keeping it going.  After a lifetime of being 'on' almost every day, it's disorienting and disturbing to find myself more limp than anything else.

I have one more drug to try, and I'm hoping to get permission to start that next week.  But it looks like I've nearly run through my options for pain control.

Someone recently suggested to me that ultimately I am going to have to 'choose my pain'.  Not a message I wanted to hear, but the comment has stuck with me and I'm trying to make my peace with what is happening to my body - and my ability to do much.  

As we get older, our bodies begin to wear out and down.  My expectations of being able to weave like I used to do in my 30s etc., are having to be adjusted.

Part of me struggles with acceptance, but it looks like this year is going to be a time of changing circumstances and adaptation to the lack of drive and determination that carried me for nearly 50 years.  And still does, to a certain extent.  The only way forward is to find out what I can *actually* do, and then find enjoyment in being able to do 'that'.

I'm trying to taper off 'producing' so much - which I then have little ability to sell.  But that doesn't mean I can't weave 'samples'.  

With the whole world walking on tip-toe, wondering when saner heads will prevail, trying to weave to sell seems an exercise in frustration.  Since I've done a pretty decent job of weaving down my stash (to certain levels of 'decent') my energy and thoughts are tending to focus on the topics for WEFT and what I feel capable of doing.  And then, of course, they need to be interested.

So what *will* I be doing?  Frankly, I have no idea.  I'm hoping to feel 'better' with my 'hail Mary' pain medication, but I have to also prepare myself for it to not work very well.  

I have enrolled in the pain management classes sponsored by the pain clinic, so I'm hoping to learn some things from those.  

The next month is going to be...fraught...with our federal election on April 28, trying one more pain medication, start attending the pain management classes.  And keep weaving.  

Right now I can still weave and I mostly manage two 45 minute sessions a day.  For 90 minutes a day I can shut my brain off and just 'be' at the loom.  

Hopefully after the next few weeks things will begin looking 'better'.  And if not, time to get into the trenches and work on making the most of what *is*, not what I *wish*.

In the meantime, I have one article just in the 'polishing' and organizing state, and the next article is taking shape.  I'm nearly finished the current warp and the next should be good to toss onto the loom late next week.  And then see what comes down the pipeline - and if I can scrape up the energy to work on something that people might be interested in reading...  

Anyway, if you are interested in this new magazine, I do encourage you to take a look.  It is available in print or digitally.

New Weavers

 

after wet finishing

loom state

One of the nice things I see is the appearance of new weavers in groups online.  It makes me feel good to think that interest in the craft of weaving is continuing to attract new 'younger' weavers.

I'm also very happy to see some of these new weavers asking about wet finishing.  But most of the groups I belong to say 'NO sales' - so I can't post links to my books.  Sometimes I will share this blog - because it is free.  

In spite of all the economic upheaval right now, my books are still available - and since they are printed in the US, there should not be any tariffs for US customers.  As for magazines, the only one I am currently writing for is WEFT - and again, I don't feel able to let groups know because I'm not allowed to 'sell' things.

So, if you are a fan of this blog - you can share the link.  If you are a fan of my books or classes, it would be nice if others would share them.

And if you belong to Goodreads, you could leave a review on The Intentional Weaver.  Last I looked, only one person had published a 'review' and they pretty much trashed the book because it had so many 'typos'.  I wonder if they were objecting to the British spellings...because we worked damn hard to remove as many typos as we could.  

So, a reminder:

Books are available here

In addition to some short video (amateur) clips on You Tube, classes are available at Sweet Georgia and Long Thread Media

Community

 

When my samples were returned from WEFT after being photographed, they included a lapel button.

For a moment I had regrets that I am no longer travelling so that I could go to a conference and wear my 'contributor' button.

I've been contributing to magazines for a rather long time, so it's not like seeing my name in a list of contents is 'new'.  But it's a 'new' magazine, and it seems a bit special to be included.

What the button did for me, however, was remind me that weaving is a community.  And while too many forces in our society are, right now, trying to rip people apart from their communities, to take a stand and say 'this is my community' is much more important than to ignore it.

It is through community that we find support, encouragement, find answers to questions.  In this time, standing up for one's community is - in many ways - a political act.  An act of resistance.

I am, frankly, flattered that the editorial staff seem to like what I'm providing.  There are many times I have been chastised - for my focus on efficiency, my equipment choices, my standards.  It took me a few years to understand that we all get to choose.  And to realize that everyone needs to make the choices that are appropriate for *them*.  

Gradually I got to the point that my focus was to provide the information, document the 'spectrums' that are built into the craft, and help people decide which were appropriate for them.

Ultimately the craft of weaving has far fewer unbreakable rules than it does cases of 'it depends'.  

As I have been weaving the samples for WEFT, I have had time to explore many of those 'it depends' issues.  Over and over again I am reminded of how little I truly 'know' and how much I tend to tweak what I am doing to encourage the quality of cloth I want to be brought into reality.

Sometimes it works.  Sometimes, it doesn't.  

But every warp, every project, increases my knowledge.  And if what I know (or suspect) is helpful to someone else, then the time/yarn/money I have spent exploring that particular rabbit warren has been worth every penny.

Because knowledge is never a waste of time.  And community is necessary to help grow the foundation of knowledge of the craft.

The first issue will begin arriving soon.