Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Mood



Yesterday it snowed, big fat wet clumps of it.  By bedtime it had changed to rain.  This morning?  Still raining.

The road out front - and likely everywhere - is lumpy compact snow turned to ice.  The highways are most likely treacherous and town will be difficult to navigate with iced up intersections and rough frozen ice on every surface.

I have decided to hibernate for the next couple of days.

Looking out the window just now, I spotted Santa, face down in the snow.  Which kind up summed up how I am feeling right now.

I'm done.  I'm just done.  With this year, with politics, with people (generally, not specifically - I still have lovely people in my life but humanity as a whole is pretty challenging right now).

I'm done with the chaos of shutting down my business, the constant snow globing of my studio (again yesterday, a minor shake).  I'm done with being IN business, the constant scramble of deadlines and never knowing if I'm going to earn enough money to pay the bills.

I'm concerned that the loss of income will be a strain on our personal finances so until we see how that goes I am not planning any travel other than for teaching - or Convergence (most likely my last Convergence, perhaps my last conference).

But I am hopeful for the coming year.  The pain treatments seem to be making slow improvement in my pain levels.  The new loom will let me keep weaving.  I'm working on a couple of article ideas.  I'm determined to weave up as much of my stash as I can.  After delivering five large boxes of yarn to the guild, I am looking at only keeping the yarn that I know I will use, one way or another.

The annex is almost empty.  Doug and his helper will continue to work on that, although not today with the roads in such awful shape.  One more shelving unit left at the annex and a spot here has been cleared for it.  There are seven more boxes of yarn on the store room floor here to be emptied and sorted and some more boxes on the shelves that also need to be emptied and put on the shelf without the box so I can see what I have.

There are some miscellaneous yarns that I have kept to be used possibly in knitting because knitting is a lot more portable than weaving. 

We slept in 'late' this morning and have been slow getting started.  But my goal for today is to beam the silk warp and see how far I can get dressing the loom.  I'm excited to see if my idea actually works or not.  If not, what do I need to do to tweak it?

I have no illusions that 2020 will magically turn into the 'best year ever'.  It will be what it will be.  I will continue to work my way through it, the best I can.

Sending my best wishes to all.  Today, tomorrow and all the days coming.  We survived 2019.  Let's survive 2020, helping and encouraging each other.

2 comments:

Linda D said...

2019 totally sucked, all I can hope is that 2020 will be better. In the dark and dismal past when I was young, 2020 seemed so far away I thought I would never live long enough to see it. But here I am and here you are, I empathize with so many of your ruminations. :)
Happy New Year!

Laura Fry said...

Well, I just discovered I completely messed up the silk warp I wound yesterday. So my mood is really not great right now. I'm going to go see if I can at least wind a couple of mat warps. Feel like I did something productive today. After trying for an hour to figure out where I went wrong, then completely re-designing the threading, I need some 'instant' gratification. Winding something simple like a mat warp or two might provide that.

Never too old or too 'expert' to make stupid mistakes! ;)