Tangles

A friend has said she would like the smaller sectional beam from my loom and it just so happens that we can deliver it later this month so the pieces she wants are being readied for transport.

I haven't used the beam for a rather long time and instead of stripping the old warp off of it, I left it.  Over the years (yes, it has been literally years) the tag ends of the last warp vibrated and jiggled and...tangled. 

If I had dealt with it in a timely fashion it would not have presented the mess I had to face today.  But procrastination ruled and here I am.

It wasn't that I didn't know it was there.  It was just that other things seemed more important, more pressing, than cleaning up this mess.  So it just got worse and worse.  In the end, being able to take it off the loom and deal with it in the work table made the whole job a lot easier than trying to pull it off while on the loom.

Which is kind of the story of my life.  I abandon things that have no 'pressing' deadline and deal with those that do.  So a mess like this just sits, waiting until I must deal with it.

Over the weekend I poked around in the studio and found a few more things that I could get rid of.  Things related to the AVL that won't be useful on the Megado or the Fanny.  Anything to do with the fly shuttle for instance.

There is one person who has expressed an interest in the pirn winder but it will mean modifying her loom (probably) to accept the slightly larger fly shuttles.

If she doesn't feel she can successfully do that, the whole works will get disposed of.  I *might* offer the shuttles (12) and the pirns (+/-1000) which can be wound on any double ended bobbin/pirn winder, but the Whitin winder itself will go to the scrap and salvage place along with the steam press.

Since I have to hire a truck for the press, it can as easily take the winder.

Doug is carefully setting the parts/pieces that people have inquired about aside and I'm hoping that as people commit to taking them he can box them up and clear my work table off.

I desperately need to get back to weaving.  There is a mat warp ready to go on the Fanny, but that end of the studio is covered with bins.  I went through them this morning and pulled out what I absolutely need for the next class and can load them up to be delivered to the annex.  Going to keep using it while we still have it.

While I wait for word from the next class organizer and the college re: travel arrangements, my mind is pulled in two directions.  Three if you count the trip in a week. 

I suppose what I am mostly dealing with is stress 'fatigue'.  There has been too much for too long.  OTOH, I'd like to exit gracefully and not appear at the craft fairs with so little inventory there isn't any hope at all of paying for the expense of doing the shows.  I may yet cancel the show in Calgary, although there are people I would like to see one last time and farewells I'd like to make in person.  Because the craft fair circuit is a community in much the same way as the fibre community. 

This  morning I worked carefully (didn't want to cut the sectional leader strings) and methodically, stripping the old warp from a few sections at a time, carefully cutting the warp away and tidily tying the strings to the beam for my friend to use - or not - as she felt appropriate.

As I dealt with the tangles I thought about how the rest of my life is going to be about dealing with the left over tangles of my life.  Using up stash.  Setting aside old priorities.  Finding new reasons to get up in the morning.  New threads to follow.  Different rabbit holes to fall into.

A few tantalizing opportunities have been peeking at me but until I'm done putting my old life away, cleaning up the messes I have not been dealing with leaving them for later?  Later is now.

None of us knows how long we have in this life.  None of us know how long we can stay healthy enough to do the things we want to do.  Uncertainty surrounds us and control?  Control is well beyond most of what we call 'life'.  Mostly we react to things.

I hope that I can react in a way that will be helpful and supportive to others around me.  And not beat myself up because I can no longer do what I am used to being able to do.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.  Time to stop fooling myself and accept what I can and cannot do.  Make the most of what time I have left.

And clean up my own messes...