Of Tariffs

 One brave person ordered a towel as a gift, which I got into the mail last Friday.  It was too late for the truck to Vancouver, so it didn't get there until Monday, and when the post office attempted to transfer it to the custody of  US Customs/USPS, welp, I don't know what happened, but it still shows this message as of 5 pm April 30:

Delivery may be delayed due to public authority

I have never seen such a message in the years I've made stuff and shipped it across the border.  What does it mean, actually?  Dunno.  All I can hope is that Canada Post will return the parcel to me so that I'm not out the towel as well as the postage, packaging, etc.  If it comes back to me, of course I will refund the person's money.

Given the current situation, one wonders what is happening with Canada/US customs processing, and the USPS.

Over the past few weeks of political shenanigans, I have hesitated about keeping my ko-fi shop.  I'll be honest - the US was my 'biggest' online market and it's been a hit to tell my customers to *not* buy anything right now.  The continued uncertainty about international trade with our southern neighbour has left not just me, but hundreds of others in the lurch.

While the election turned out 'ok' (I was hoping for a Liberal landslide but the alt right has gotten a deep hold on a much larger chunk of our population than I expected - or hoped) and while the Liberals took the government, it is a 'minority' government.  Which is not necessarily a 'bad' thing - it means the Liberals will have to make any governance palatable to a smaller party and convince them to come on board.  In times past, we have seen some excellent concessions made that have made Canada a 'better' place than if they had a full majority.

But we are staring down a great divide and I don't know how to reconcile with the 'other' side, which shows zero interest in working together.  :(

I'm unsure what the future holds, if it is even a good idea to keep the ko-fi presence.  I do have a few monthly subscribers, but I don't feel like I'm giving those supporters much value - beyond writing this blog.  

Anyway, push comes to shove, I won't be losing my house if I do shut it down, but it is forcing me to keep picking away at the writing.  Not because it brings in a lot of income, but because I can 'teach' and get paid 'something' for my time, effort and knowledge.

So when they asked me to contribute two articles for a 2026 issue, it took a heartbeat for me to decide 'yes, I will'.

I still have not received my print copy of the first issue of WEFT, but I've booked the guild room for May 25.  If it still hasn't arrived, I do have the copy loaded onto my iPad, and I will bring the two sets of samples from the first issue that I wove and let people take a gander.  If it seems like people want to have that kind of 'hands on' experience for the following issues, I'm hoping that my new drug will reduce my pain levels and that I will be able to speak 'better' by then.  Now that I'm getting more than 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night, my brain injury seems to be improving.

I am trying really hard to look for the good things in this world, and change what is 'bad' if I can.  

I am really hoping to get back to my 'usual' content - weaving.  

To those of you still here, I thank you.  From the bottom of my heart.  

Canada

 

I remember how controversial the idea was, to create a 'new' Canadian flag.  How many poo-poo'd the idea, some complained about the expense, etc.  

Some people objected because 'you can't just *change* the flag'!

I never saw the controversy, myself.  I thought the idea of using the maple leaf as a symbol was, well, symbolic, even though it was rare to see a maple tree where I live.  

In the end, the country chose to change and the rest were dragged along, some of them kicking and screaming.

We had never been a country to fly the flag, much.  When I started going down to the US, it was a bit of a 'shock' to me how many places had US flags, proudly flying - not just over government buildings, but homes.  

We would roll out flags for Canada Day, sometimes during playoff season, especially for hockey.  But mostly?  Canadians weren't prone to waving the flag much.

One year the federal government gave free flags for anyone who wanted one.  We got one and Doug arranged to hang it above the front door.  Once it was up, we realized our house was the only house in the neighbourhood that was flying a flag, and it became a marker for anyone coming to our house.

There were a few years when a new neighbour started flying a flag, about 3 times the size of ours.  It was so huge they had to mount a pole to the house to fly it.  All through that time we continued to let our flag fly, even when the alt right appropriated the flag - frequently upside down or with comments about the PM.

We are 'liberals' in 'conservative' country.  I don't think I have ever sent a representative to Ottawa, and right now, the current Con MP certainly does not speak for me.  

I have little faith that a Liberal candidate will take our riding.  All the polls say it is a 99% certainty that the Con MP will go to Ottawa again.

So, I'd like to remind people that just because a Con gets elected doesn't mean that there are no 'liberals' who live here.

I will continue to advocate for others who need it.  I will continue to fly the Canadian flag - I do not 'reclaim' the flag because I never stopped believing that Canada - as a country - can be more inclusive, more supportive of those who need help, can continue to do the work of truth and reconciliation.  

We have issues that need addressing.  But I do not believe that anyone part of the alt-right will be much concerned about anyone but themselves.  So, call me 'woke' if you like.  I'd rather be awake than tuning in to some person's fever dreams.  I'd rather be supportive of people who may need some help - people burned out due to wildfires due to climate change, for example.  I prefer to have a functioning government that sees need and tries to address it, rather than destroying government services.

Being a 'good' country is a process.  I hope that my country will at least *try* to help its citizens, not create chaos and uncertainty.

But maybe it's just because I'm a dreamer...

Imagine....

Welcoming Change

 

I recently became aware of James Fell and thought I would pick up one of his books.  It wasn't what I expected from a 'sweary' historian.  Instead it was - how shall I put it - self-help?  Self-improvement?

But I started reading it in part because I'm always interested in people's 'story' and the book has lots of them as 'examples' of epiphany.

Partly I was interested in the topic because I had a epiphany of sorts.  Actually I had *exactly* one of the types of epiphany that Fell writes about.  I spent years, feeling 'lost', directionless, working one dead end office job after another.

Little did I know, but the 'universe'/guardian angel, whatever you want to call it, worked for years to shove me into the direction I finally wound up taking.  As more 'hints' dropped into my conscious thought, the more restless/directionless I felt.

Most of this 'hinting' kept hammering home the fact that I needed to do something different.  I finally asked myself the crucial question - if not this, then what?  And I did a list of things I wanted for my life and then left myself 'open' in a way I had not done before.  I even found a job that had many of the things I said I had been looking for, but the other thing that had been happening was the not-to-be-denied fact that my father was dying.

As Fell outlines in his book, one of the ways an epiphany will happen is that the person needs to change, *wants* to change, will even begin to make changes until one day the thought breaks through to the conscious mind and suddenly things begin to make sense to make the changes that you want/need to make.

So it was with me.  After literally years of nudging me towards the fibre arts, significant hints of the world that waited for me, I finally put all those hints together and after thinking about it for a couple of weeks, weeks during which I thought about the logistics of tossing everything and learning how to weave - with the express purpose of earning some money *by* weaving...

Well, a number of preparations needed to be put into place, which took time.  Time during which my father got sicker and sicker, and the guardian angel/universe became quite insistent that I needed to do this thing.

We put our house up for sale - and because I was making a really good wage for a woman it actually allowed us to buy a larger house with room for a loom.  Which job I quit as soon as the mortgage was approved and started the weaving class a week late (I had to work out my two week notice.)

After years of being nudged in that direction, then months of fevered preparation, moving house, I finally found myself in the weaving room, sitting in front of a Cherryville counter balanced loom.

After getting directions about what to do, I sat on the bench, looking at the rags I had prepared, and really looked at the warp and loom.  As I sat there at the loom, I had a wash of awareness that I had 'come home'.

I was - finally - where I was meant to be.

Two weeks later my dad finally died and while I very much doubt he would have understood what I had just done while he was alive, I sensed that he now understood.  

I treated that class (all day Tuesdays) like a full time job.  I spent every day in the loom room, either reading, or weaving.  I was 'already' a weaver - I just needed to acquire the actual skills.  My physical body need to catch up to my 'heart'.  

So I would say that I had exactly the sort of epiphany that Fell was talking about, although he talks about other ways people reach that state.

But I will never, ever, forget the feeling as I sat, shuttle in hand, figuring out which treadles I was supposed to use, knowing that I was 'home'.  This was the 'right' path.  And I would do everything I needed to do in order to stay on it.

At times that meant taking part-time jobs to bring in enough money to buy yarn, etc.  I started getting requests to teach weaving, which I felt woefully inadequate to do, but I did know more than those wanting to learn, and I did my best to acquire teaching skills as well as weaving skills.

And then I had another epiphany - I needed to write a book.  Why?  Because so many people kept urging me to write it.

I'm now 'retired' - from production weaving/selling.  I still produce more than most people who weave as a hobby, so I still try to sell textiles (and maybe will again once the election is over and we see who 'blinks' about tariffs.)  I still teach through writing, currently focused on WEFT (who just asked me to submit a couple more articles - yay!)

But I'm now reaching the age where other family members tended to fall off their perch, with my mother being a bit of an outlier because she made it to 90.  Odds are that I could leave this mortal coil any day - nearly did on Aug. 28, 2024.

But I didn't die.  And my brain injury is coming along so that I can write, although with loads more editing because words fall into sinkholes, or I discover I have repeated words.  With the help of a friend willing to alpha read my text, I feel capable of continuing to write.  And hopefully, weave.

Tomorrow is election day in Canada.  I have been on tenterhooks about the result of the election - what it will mean to me, my country.  So I'm going to head to the loom and weave.  And hope for the 'peace' that we all look for as we walk our life path.

A friend says 'gold dust' to people as a way of wishing them 'luck'.  Besides, gold dust is better than tossing 'glitter' around, so I wish to all who need something - Gold Dust.

Making Plans

 

I ordered Michelle Boyd's book weeks ago - just about the time my health roller coaster took off on another loop around the course.  And then, the election, which manages to take up whatever brain power I had left.  And won't be over until next week when the final voting day happens and the votes get counted.

Once we are beyond the uncertainty of what is about to happen, I will make plans for how to move 'forward'.  

I've been telling friends I could easily turn my studio into a 'hermitage'.  I rarely go out, unless it is for some sort of health care.

OTOH, if the new drug actually helps (without also harming - Schrödinger's medication?) I may feel more energy and be more inclined to get out and about more.

I have been 'practicing' driving because after 7 months of *not* driving I'm rusty.  Considering that spring is arriving here, I feel as though I'm able to maybe(?) come out of hibernation.

Hoping that I will soon be feeling 'better' I've offered to host a gathering for anyone who wants to take a look at the first issue of WEFT, and the samples I wove for the two articles I have in the magazine.  

For today, I will head to the loom.  In spite of everything I've managed to get to the loom and weave, and the current warp is just past the 1/3 mark.  I'm mulling over another warp, potentially for the article I'm working on now.  

And maybe, just maybe, this new drug will work for me and I'll be more functional.

Spring Weather

 

The photo isn't a very good one but it is a silk jacket I wove the fabric for (and had a friend sew it).  I wove it for the ANWG conference here in 1995.  I took the conference logo and messed around with it.  The warp was hand dyed (by moi) in a spectrum from blue-purple to pink-purple.  (It also made in appearance in Weavers Magazine.  Much nicer photo in the magazine!!!)

I think the last time I wore it was to a NEWS (?) conference.  I can't remember.

I miss going to conferences - the seminars, exhibits, sitting down to visit with other like minded folk.  Between Covid and my current health issues, I doubt I'll leave my town - unless I have another medical issue that requires me to go to Vancouver.

Today I went out without a jacket - for the first time in a long time.  It truly feels like spring and I'm enjoying the longer daylight hours.  The winter seemed very long - very dark.  We didn't have a lot of 'cold' weather, which generally means the skies are clear and the days brilliant, with sunshine bouncing off the snow.  There wasn't a lot of snow, and very few 'cold' days.  It was very dreary. 

Now the warmer weather is coming, I hear, but we are still in drought conditions and I hope that we get some more rain to help wet down the bush.

We voted on Friday, and now I'm on tenterhooks waiting to see what will happen once the votes are all counted.  April 29 we should know...

I also heard today that my new drug - the last one left to try, unless something else comes along - will be ready next week.  I have been holding on to the last thread in the rope I'm hanging on, for so long I wasn't sure if I could last until it was.  But now I know it is coming, really, truly, I can try to tie a knot into the end of my fraying rope and make it for a few more days.  (I think I can, I think I can...)

I've been warned that not everyone gets good results with it, but the only way to know if it will work for me is to try it and see.  My pain doc will check in with me in about a month or so and to see how I'm doing on it.  The main goal is to take it and not have it cause adverse effects, so I'm being a 'special snowflake'.  And my pharmacist has worked hard to find out as much as possible about it, and then worked with my family doctor, too.  If the new drug doesn't work, I will have to go back to the one I'm currently on, but try to address the adverse effects.  :(  Take another drug to make the drug work without harming?  Sigh.

However, I'm pleased enough with the current warp.  It's weaving nicely (now that the threading mistake is corrected), and I'm using up another cone in the seemingly endless stash.  I am hoping that the new drug will let me feel more energetic (less fatigue and brain fog, with luck) and that I can begin marshalling my thoughts for the next article.  I'm pleased enough with what I'm seeing on the loom that I will be using that one as one example for the article.  I may do the next warp to use for the article, as well.  Depends on how things turn out.

In the meantime, I continue to weave as much as I can.  Massage therapist asked today if I was managing at the loom okay and I said yes.  I'm about 1/3 done the warp, so I will press on and get it off and ready to be wet finished.  In the meantime I've made good progress on the current heap of hemming, and using up more of my seemingly never ending stash.  However, with the tariffs/trade 'war' I'm wondering if I should stock up on yarn because cotton could become quite expensive, depending on what happens over the next few months.  

In the meantime, it's been great to see my stash diminishing (although not my inventory of textiles!)

It's Thursday.  I'm hoping to get the new drug by Tuesday, although that might be optimistic.  Time will tell!  (About a lot of things...)

Oopsie!

 

This warp is fairly complex and I wasn't feeling 'well' while I set up the loom and in spite of my being so very careful, I realized that I had made a threading error.  

Sigh.

The mistake wasn't all that obvious until I changed wefts and the contrast became enough that I was able to spot the issue, so when I finished the towel I was working on, I wove a much longer 'waste' area at the end of the one towel.  I had 'marked' the threading error with a coloured thread at the beginning so that it would be easier to find the errant threads to cut them, pull them out of the web, then re-thread them properly.

The sequence was supposed to be shaft 2-7, when I had done 7-2.  It didn't look horribly wrong, but once seen cannot be unseen, so I fixed it the most 'efficient' and least irritating way I could think of.

Once the 6 ends were corrected, I sleyed the reed, then pinned them to the web, adjusted the dobby chain to begin at the beginning again, and carried on with the next towel.

Yes, I 'wasted' a bit of warp, but by doing so, I 'saved' a lot more of my time - time which is precious to me.

Once they come off the loom I will use the large green weft area as a 'cut' line (normally all I do is 2 picks), and then when I serge them, I will remove the green weft part and toss it away.

We can choose what we 'waste'.  By 'wasting' a bit of 'free' (from a friend's weaving stash) I saved myself at least 15 or 20 minutes, and did not have to cut/re-tie the entire warp.  

It doesn't always turn out this way, but today it did, and I'm grateful.

Edited to add a close up photo of the web because someone wondered where the 'missing' threads went.  

The original warp threads are still there.  I cut them out in the green weft area, then, once they there threaded *properly* and sleyed, they were pinned to the web.  The 'hole' is only in the 'waste' area of green weft.

Being Heard

 

One of the reasons I started this blog was that I hadn't died in 2008.  It was, in part, a celebration of the fact that I was still here, still weaving.  But it was a struggle between this body and me, and since I 'process' much of what I am going through by writing about it, I shared what was happening here.

Now, my mother was a very 'proper' lady.  In her world you never, ever, talked about your troubles.  You just combed your hair, put your lipstick on, and you went out into the world with a smile on your face.

I was a different person, and took a different approach.

She would hate how much I've shared on here about my struggles.  If you are struggling, in her world view, you pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and never, ever, admitted to 'weakness'.  

But I learned early that everyone has struggles.  Some may be more immediate or difficult than someone else's, but we all have them.

And sometimes you just need to be 'heard' as you fight your way through the hills and valleys, the rough patches in the road, the challenging climb up the mountain sides.

I learned that we all get tired, that we need to rest - at times - and that sometimes you just need to ask a friend for support.  Mostly, by sharing what I was dealing with (rarely the full extent, just the broad outlines), it let people that were in similar difficulties know that they were not alone.

Usually I wait until I have solved a problem that I will share what was going on, in part to let people know that yes, while Life can be Difficult, you can usually find a way through.

By speaking out I feel that others, who might be similarly dealing with rocky roads, will see that I have also trodden those rocky roads, and I'm still here, still surviving.  And maybe, they think that they can, too.

So I share.  I don't expect solutions, but sometimes someone will say something that sparks a new thought, a new direction for me.  And sometimes it helps.  Generally, though, I've already tried nearly everything that I can think of, but sometimes someone suggests something new.

With that thought of learning more about how bodies 'work' (or don't), I have registered for a pain management class.  Every Thursday morning from 10-12 I will attend (remotely, thankfully) and see what I can learn.

I have tried for years to figure out what is going on with this body so I have some broad knowledge, but I'm not an 'expert' - not by any means.

This coming week I will be trying a 'new' drug - a 'hail Mary' attempt to find something that will help reduce my pain without causing other problems because of 'adverse effects'.  If it doesn't work I will likely return to the one I'm currently taking, but I will need to take other drugs to reduce the adverse effects it brings.  So, I am really hoping hard that this new drug will work for me.  As one health professional said, when it works it works well, but it doesn't always work for everyone - and you won't know until you try.

So, I am going to try.

And I will continue to share via this blog.  I don't expect everyone to be interested, but some are.  And sometimes people will contact me to share what they are going through.  I am happy to listen, and commiserate at how challenging Life can be, at times.  And I will send them positive/healing thoughts.  As I have been listened to, I will listen to others.  

This liminal time between casting my vote and finding out the results is stressful.  One political party offers support to Canadian citizens, while the other...well they only want to support people like themselves, and if you need help - like me - you should just go away.

To get through the next few days, I will proceed as 'usual' - weaving.  Starting the next article for WEFT.  Because the world will not be destroyed in an instant, but slowly.  One 'right' at a time, for one 'group' after another.

Unless.  Unless we stand up to be counted.  And in our society, we are counted by our votes.  So if you haven't yet - plan on voting.  Plan on long lines - with record setting numbers voting on day one of advance polling.  Bring a folding chair and a bottle of water and maybe a book to while away the time.  But this is *your* time to be heard.  Vote.  Bring a friend.  (We brought our neighbour who can't drive right now.)

Democracy is a participation effort.  Make sure your voice is heard.

Fallow

 

The word 'fallow' is not one that 'we' use much these days.  But it is something that human beings ignore when they should be paying attention.

When a field is 'fallow', it is not a 'waste'.  A field is left 'fallow' in order to allow it to 'rest'.  Sometimes the farmer will plant a crop that will regenerate the nutrients in the field, sometimes it is helped by the addition of fertilizers - be that from compost or bags of chemicals.

It is a recognition that the land is getting 'tired' and needs some time to recover before it can properly feed whatever crop the farmer wants to plant there 'next'.

Human beings seem to be more focused on 'doing' - instead of 'being'.  We forget at our peril that our bodies need rest.  And that allowing some time to be 'fallow' is not a 'waste' but necessary.  

There are times when I'm designing something and I will set it aside for a bit.  Then, when I return to working on it, I can see it more 'clearly'.  Sometimes I toss out what I've done, sometimes I will make small changes, correct errors.  Like with this draft.  When I split the motifs between the front and back 8 shafts, I made a progression error.  When I returned to the draft with clearer eyes, I spotted that error and fixed it.

When I write, I leave the text alone for a while before trying to edit it.  While the text is left to 'rest', my brain keeps nibbling away at it.   Then when I return to take up the editing role, my brain has had a chance to think through what information I want to convey, and consider my word choices.  Does this word or phrase make sense, or only to me?  If I want to help educate others, I need to get to where they are in order to lead them further along the path of knowledge.  Especially a craft as complex as weaving.  (Well, all of the crafts are, I just happen to know more about weaving than anything else...)

Saying that weaving is 'complex' doesn't mean that people can't weave, can't make good cloth, can't choose good projects and their own colours even while new to the craft. 

But I feel that people who know more about the complexity of the cloth/craft should try to share 'good' knowledge.  Knowledge that will help others to understand some of the complexity involved in creating cloth, so that they can make good decisions and come closer to what they want to make.  

I would say - and do it without mistakes - but I would be giving assurances I cannot, given the number of mistakes I *still* make.  The previous warp had 3 threading errors.  I *hope* this one does not.  I took a quick look at it last night and it *looks* good on the loom.  So far.

Yesterday I, Doug and our neighbour, went to vote.  We chose to vote during 'advance' polling and were confronted with a line up - something unheard of!  We didn't wait long, but I heard throughout the day that line ups continued, not just here, but in multiple locations across the country.

Now I need to leave the election 'behind' because I have done my duty and the next few days need to continue until all Canadians have had an opportunity to vote.  And for those votes to be counted.

Yesterday I finished setting up the above warp and wove about 10".  I wanted to get it weaving so I could do a cursory look for threading errors.  Finding none (that I can see) I am now ready to finish weaving the last of the linen, then tackle one of the (huge) cones of 20/2 white cotton (unmercerized).  The warp is 2/20 merc. cotton, so the contrast of the shiny merc. and matt unmerc. yarn should be a nice subtle effect that will show off the complex patterning without looking too 'op art'.

Yesterday I also emailed the text for the next article for WEFT - forgetting it was a holiday weekend.  But hitting 'send' means I have put a period on that project.  I can now clear away the clutter generated in the production of that article.  And I can move on.  That project is now in other hands, and my brain can go 'fallow' for a few days while I weave this warp - and think about what I want to write.  

Next week I should also get the new medication.  Time for me to just 'be' for a while and wait to see a) who has won the right to govern Canada, b) if the 'hail Mary' drug will work for me.

In the meantime I *can* still weave, so I will.

Civic Duty (yes, politics)

 I Voted.

When I was in high school, I benefited from having young and enthusiastic teachers.  Social Studies class became particularly interesting because they covered 'current events' and - at the time - Canada was going through some tempestuous times.  We learned about the history of my own country as the basis of understanding what was happening.  It was illuminating.

If you have never heard of the FLQ, especially if you are a Canadian, time you learned.

My teachers were thorough, covering the rights of different regions in Canada, but they were also aware of the history of The Indian Act, and how shabbily colonial populations had treated the First Nations - something I didn't know very much about, but I am grateful I learned about that part of our history. 

Now, some people might criticize my teachers for teaching our history, including the things that were done that weren't very 'Christian' or even very 'humane', but I have always appreciated them teaching such a broad class in such a way as to give us the facts - and then let the students make up their minds about those facts.

For me, it was 'easy'.  I had read books, not just fiction, but non-fiction, in part because I found things interesting.  Understanding, even at a rudimentary level, how things worked?  Seemed like something I should know.

Understanding how things happened in the past, helped understand what was happening then and there.  

I will never forget the day we were discussing the FLQ and the rights of Quebecois, and one student stuck his hand up and said that if the French didn't like living in Canada they should go back to France.  I put my hand up and said that given how the French had been 'here' before the British, why should they go back?

And then my teacher, one of my favourite (there have been many but I will never forget Mr. Gordon) said, I wonder how the 'Indians' (the term First Nations wasn't commonly in use in 1966) feel about sending us *all* back to Europe?

It was like a gigantic bucket of cold water thrown over me and I sat back and chewed on that thought for a while.

Now, Mr. Gordon did NOT 'turn' me into a 'liberal'.  The tendency was there all along.  I was a Sunday School attendee, then did a bible study course so that I could become a full fledged member of the church (so yes, I've been baptized twice as some 'born again' person insisted all 'true' Christians were supposed to be), and took the teachings of Jesus to heart.  

I also learned about the Crusades, the Holy Roman Empire, the Christian excuse for conquering the 'new world', etc.

My tendency to be 'liberal' continued long after I graduated high school, and my exploration of my world outside of my reality bubble continues to this day.

We are in a perilous time.  I don't know how this election will turn out.  I *hope* the alt right gets beaten back from the gates, but I doubt we can get them out of our world entirely.

In the meantime, I still have the right to vote, so I exercised that right today.  It's been referred to as our 'right to bitch' card.  But elections are not decided by just one riding (ours is historically right wing, ever more right as the months have gone by), but hopefully the majority of Canadians will get out over the next few days and vote and keep this country more 'liberal' than 'fascist'.

As I stood in line (almost unheard of in this riding! - I expect the numbers to be surprising) and thought about my father and father-in-law and other family friends who served in WWII.  The least I can do is get out and cast my vote...

3D and Weaving

 

Yesterday I finished pressing the towels from the warp I wet finished over the past few days.  

As I pressed, I got to see the cloth from different angles from what I usually view cloth from, and I was reminded - yet again - that cloth can have a 3D effect, especially when weaving an 'unbalanced' cloth - as in weaving more weft on one side with more warp on the other.

The whole subject of 'balance' is difficult for some people to understand, in part because we can refer to a cloth as being 'balanced' or 'unbalanced' for different things.

For example, plain weave.  If we say 'balanced' it *usually* refers to the same number of warp and weft so that neither the warp or the weft takes over from the other.  But you *can* use a plain weave and weave it 'unbalanced', such as for tapestry, where the weft (usually - there's that word again) is all that is seen, or warp faced, where the weft is pretty much invisible, hidden by the warps.

This draft was designed over 8 shafts, but since I would not have enough heddles on 8, I split the threading and used the first 8 for a repeat, then the back 8 for a repeat, etc.

Apparently that was a little bit too much for my brain to process because I made not one, not two, but three threading errors, in spite of working slowly and carefully.  So this entire warp is 'seconds'.  I have not decided if I will sell them as such, or just give them away.

Yesterday I gave my doctor a pair of tea towels (I mean, everyone can use a tea towel, right???)  He said I didn't have to do that, but I know how hard everyone in health care is working right now (especially), and I want to express my gratitude to them and the best way I can do that, I feel, is to give them some of my weaving.  Because my health care 'team' is literally keeping me going right now.

It's too soon to tell how effective the injections in my back are going to work, and my pharmacist and family doctor are working together to get me the 'hail Mary' drug, hopefully by the end of this week, or maybe next.  They were still working out the details yesterday.

At this point I no longer hope for pain 'free', but pain 'less' would be good.  And being able to sleep would be great, too. 

Schrodinger Day

 

This week has several 'Schrodinger" days in it.  Right now I am waiting until it is time to head to the hospital and get the injection in my back.  And then - hopefully - tomorrow I might hear about the new drug I have asked to try - even though it is off even the 'off' list of options.  Last year I changed pharmacies, and I'm so glad I did.  It's a smaller owner/operator business and so far I have received excellent 'customer service'.  

The new drug is a 'hail Mary' option and I've been warned that it doesn't help everyone (well NONE of them helped thus far without adverse effects that are just not tenable) and I feel like I have to at least *try* and see if it will help me.

Yesterday I spent what energy I had on pressing (half of the towels ready to be pressed) and then threading.  The threading draft is quite a complex one, made more so because I didn't want to shift heddles on shafts so I split the threading between the front 8 and the back 8 shafts.

After I get the injection everyone tells me I'm to take several days of 'light duty' so I have the rest of the pressing to do, and then the final polish/edit for the current article.  If I can see my way to getting that into the mail today, I can cross that one off the list.

I'm of two minds about that article, but ultimately it will be the editor who will decide if it is appropriate for the magazine.  However, if it is not, I still have time to re-write it.  One of the advantages of not waiting until the last possible second to finish a project!

In the meantime, I have sort of put the next article aside until I can clear my desk off and focus on it.  In the meantime this warp is another option (the previous warp was intended for the article, but I'm not entirely sure if I'll use it).

Yesterday I booked the guild room to do a weavers get together on May 25 at 1 pm.  Hopefully I should have my hard copy of WEFT magazine by then, and I'll bring the two boxes of samples I did for those so that people can see them up close and personal.  :)

But for this morning, I'm trying to distract myself until it is time to leave the hospital in about an hour.  I won't thread because I'm focused on getting the shot and will be too distracted to follow the draft.  It is just better if I sit in this liminal space, waiting to see if the jab will, or will not, work.

Schrodinger.  It is, or is not - until you find out.

Expectations

 

The warp is beamed, ready to thread.  But I'm having a lot of pain so I don't think I'll be managing to begin threading today.  My next back injection is Tuesday, then 3 days of 'light duties' and then I'll see how I'm feeling.  I may try threading a bit as part of those 'light duties' but I've lined up a few other things that also need to be done and are truly 'light' when it comes to the 'duty' so we'll see how it goes.

I'm really scraping hard on the bottom of my cotton stash so I beamed a warp of 2/20 merc. cotton (left over from a couple other things) and will begin by weaving off the last of the Lithuanian linen.  This will make a really lovely quality of cloth (I've 'sampled' it - it's nice tea towel cloth)  There truly is almost nothing left of the linen, but then I've got a gigantic cone of unmerc. 20/2 cotton to use up.  I've enjoyed weaving with the linen and the quality of cloth that results, but I think I need to focus on other things for a while.  Since sales are pretty much non-existent right now, I don't really want to spend the money to buy more if all they are going to do is sit in my ko-fi shop.  :(

The new threading draft is a variation on a Swedish Snowflake motif.  What can I say?  My brain has not been functioning due to sleep disruption due to the pain medication, but I should also get a new drug next week so I'm anxious to try it and see if it is any better than the rest.  In the meantime I'm trying to not...challenge...myself too much.  But I also feel the need to weave, just for the physical activity (and the dopamine top up.)

I was moaning to a friend the other day about what I should do - maybe make my 'standard' warp length shorter.  But she pointed out all that meant was that I would get less weaving time per loom dressing time, meaning I would be doing even *more* loom dressing and less weaving.  :(  She's right, of course!

And the tariffs are...paused...again.  For 90 days if you can believe what he says.  Do I do a pop up 'sale' while it is still possible to get things into the US without a tariff???  Dunno.  

Spring has about sprung here, but so far as I can tell we are still teetering on 'drought' conditions.  The bush is far too dry, the snow pack too small.  I hope that we are spared wildfires this year, although there is no reason that we might be, given climate change and...drought.

Given the state of North American politics, I suppose we can write off any expectation of help from US wildfire fighters, but hopefully our other allies will be able to.  Be interesting to see if the US expects Canada to send wildfire fighters to help them, like we did early this year, sending water bombers to help California...  Since I doubt the administration would appreciate the assistance, I'm not sure we should.  Or could, depending on what is happening here.

Every year it becomes more and more obvious that climate change is NOT a myth but very real.  And that it has arrived.  And that it will get worse if we don't DO something about it.  Our election on April 28 will be a watershed moment for our country.  I hope that Canadians meet the challenge and vote for those who are willing to try to *fix* things instead of letting everything burn to the ground.  In some cases, quite literally...(looking at you Jasper)...

However, Life Goes On, as they say, so I have contacted my local guild and suggested a weavers gathering on May 25.  I hope I have my copy of WEFT by then, and I will bring my samples for the two articles in that issue.  I have also suggested that if weavers are interested, we could do something similar after each issue comes out.  I'm also feeling like I would like to be more 'present' at the guild (IF I can get the pain under control and IF I can walk up the stairs to the guild room.)

So many changes, many of them not welcome.  But such is Life.  We have to try to figure out work arounds.  It's time to put the soup pot on.  Better get that done, too.  At least it means I won't have to 'cook' the next couple of days as my biggest pot makes enough for 3 days.  I'm glad Doug isn't picky and doesn't mind 'leftovers'...they are pretty much my favourite item on the menu, chez Laura's...

Production Line

 

I bit the proverbial bullet today and started working on the samples - again.

What you see in the photo are just *some* of the samples I wove - there is a bin on the back of the loom with more in it - because there just wasn't enough room on my work table to hold the rest.

My work table is a table of all 'work'.  This is where I cut/serge my things before wet finishing, then press it.  Between the serger and the press, plus some work 'clutter', there isn't really much room to do very much.  But I can sit while I work at something like this, and I have good task lighting, plus my other odds and sods.

I had done some prep work before I wet finished the samples - I needed to be able to match them up to their 'before with after', but it was still complex, and frankly, when working with fairly fine yarn (2/20 merc. cotton) to fairly thick (4/8 cotton) plus some other yarns I wanted to test, it was getting really hard to tell them apart.

If I was having problems identifying them, anyone else down the work chain would probably have an even harder time.  So, to make it easier for others (who may or may not be familiar with the yarns I used) I decided I'd better document them very carefully.

Since I haven't been feeling...great...it was a level of 'detail' work I really wasn't in the mood to do - but needs must.  I have made a promise to myself that before beginning another article I will finish the one I'm working on.  My brain only processes so much before it becomes overwhelmed and I can't function - at all.

I cut it close on this article because I have already begun working on the 'next' article.  The loom is about to become 'nekkid' because I cut the warp off yesterday, cut/serged yesterday afternoon, then inspected/repaired this morning.  Those towels are ready to go into the washer, but now I want to beam the next warp.  Because that task takes up *all* the space behind the loom.  And since I need to sit on that stool at the work table to press - and there is just no room for me to do that while the loom is set up to be beamed - it's just easier if I get that done and out of my way first.  So that's the job for tomorrow.

Otherwise I spent several hours going through the samples, making sure I had them identified properly, write out 'string' tags to affix to the samples for easy identifying, and then double (or more) checking them as I attached them, suddenly the afternoon is pretty much gone.

I'm not sure if I have the spoons to finish putting away the samples and begin setting up for beaming.  At this point I suspect it must be 'tea' time.

And a pat on my back for getting that part (that I had been *dreading*) done.  Now to do one more pass through the text, correct the list of the samples (I made a couple boo-boos) and then collecting everything to go into a box for when it is time to mail it all to the magazine.

Will I learn anything about *not* procrastinating about a task that I don't want to do?

Doubtful...

The Bog of Life

 

one repeat and borders of the Swedish Snowflake design

Recently I have been playing around with the 'Swedish Snowflake' draft.  One of the things I like to do is muck about and find out what other options are available within a threading draft, especially in the twill 'family'.

In the meantime, Life goes on, frequently more bog-like than a stroll in the park.

I don't know if I am my mother's daughter, or if she just taught me well - either way, especially right now - I have her advice running on repeat:  God helps those who help themselves.

It was one of her favourite sayings and I have had it embedded in my personality, I suppose, be it genetically, or just from constant repeats as I grew up.  And then learned that Life was always going to be more bog-like than park.

As I got older I learned other pithy comments that I absorbed.   The part 2 of the above sentiment is one I learned as a teenager:  Prayer is good, but while you are praying for change, pray for the strength to make the changes you want to happen in the world.

I asked mom one time what her comment meant and I don't remember her actual explanation, but as an adult I have used it to remind me that God is probably more likely to help those who are working hard to improve things themselves.  And if they don't have the time to deal with 'my' problem, maybe I could fix it without involving them?  So, praying for the strength to effect the changes I want to see in the world has always made perfect sense to me.

As a person, I would say that I am solution oriented.  If I see a problem, I will mull it over and try to work out an effective way to 'fix' it.  Or make it suck less.

This week has been challenging as I try - still - to get a grip on my current physical issues.  It took the best part of the week to talk to everyone I felt I needed to talk to, to help me get through this particularly bog-like section of Life.  I finally managed that this morning, after playing telephone tag, trying to juggle several medical professionals and their overbooked days.  I am blessed with an ever growing (it seems) group of health care professionals who are trying to give me the tools to manage my 'old age' and the culmination of physical challenges.

I can still weave - although at a slower pace than previously.  But neither do I need to produce at the same levels I did for the better part of 50 years.  So I have been working on my 'expectations' - what *can* I do, vs what I *want* to do.

Bottom line?  I still want to teach, if I can.  So writing for WEFT has been a god-send (literally!) and they seem to like what I've sent to them (so far).  I reached a point where I just could not finalize the current article, but after talking the doctor this morning, I feel like I've made it through the bog and have hopes of a 'hail Mary' change of medication next week.  He just needs to do some research before he approves the medication - which is off even the off-list pain meds.

I am eternally grateful I live in Canada where medical decisions are between a patient and their doctor (and pharmacist, other specialists) and zero interference by profit generating 'health insurance' companies.  And no, we won't vote Conservative as they insist that health care needs to be 'privatized'.  

Anyway, today I will finish the current warp on the loom, label the samples for the article, read through the text once more and then hit 'send', maybe Sunday night or next Monday.  Next week I have light duties for 3 days after my next back injection, so one of the things I will be doing is fine tuning the next sample warp for WEFT, then setting up the loom to weave the sample(s).  And hope that, by this time next week, I'll be feeling 'better'...

Wishing all y'all 'better', too...

Best Laid Plans (and all that)

 

Human beings, generally, are planners.  We tend to make plans that are do-able, frequently 'best case scenario'.  It's hard to think about the things that will tend to throw our plans 'off' when that nice straight line is sooooo attractive!

But reality is that most people's lives do not proceed in a nice straight line.  Thangs happen.  Or not.

You would think that at my age I would be used to plans going awry.  But no, a part of me maintains that if things just go the way I want them to do, every deadline will be met, every project finished on time, no 'mistakes' or oopsies will need to be fixed.

We have finally arrived at what looks suspiciously like 'spring'.  I am about 7.5 months out from the brain bleed, and still dealing with all the 'other' things my body is annoyed about.  The past two weeks have been challenging and I have fallen down on my attempt to follow The Plan.

I still have several hours left to finish the current article, but I keep waiting until I have more energy, or even just 'feel like it'.  I am poised at the point of 'change' and not entirely sure what direction I will go when I get out of the current trough.

So much depends on what happens over the next couple of weeks before I will be able to judge how much energy (or not) I will have at my disposal.  

Today I had an appointment that cancelled, so instead of a big chunk taken out of my afternoon, I will stay home.  Who knows, maybe I will open my Word file and do the 'inventory' of the samples I wove for the current article.  I don't know how much use the list will be, but it will be useful for myself, if I do 'programs' for the local guild showing my articles/samples to the local weavers.

One of the things I plan on is to begin driving again.  I get the next back injection next week, and I'm going to see if driving is something that I can manage.  

In the meantime, the clock keeps ticking, and we are in suspense until the election is over and we see what direction Canada will go.  I suspect it will not be 'peaceful' given the rise of the alt right, with their big lies and buckets of mis/dis/information.  

In the meantime, I focus on writing about weaving and cloth.  If the apocalypse happens, people will need to know how to make cloth (and clothing).  The least I can do is try to share some of what I know and help the craft stay alive - at whatever level anyone is wanting to pursue it.

Onwards!

Debut

 

Yesterday I got a peep at the new WEFT magazine.  

I have enjoyed writing several articles for WEFT, and am working on the next.  (Just finished roughing out the draft for one of the examples.)

One of the things I am struggling with right now is a distinct lack of energy.  I'm not sleeping much, which I'm thinking is an adverse reaction to the current pain meds, and I am really having a hard time getting my engine started - and keeping it going.  After a lifetime of being 'on' almost every day, it's disorienting and disturbing to find myself more limp than anything else.

I have one more drug to try, and I'm hoping to get permission to start that next week.  But it looks like I've nearly run through my options for pain control.

Someone recently suggested to me that ultimately I am going to have to 'choose my pain'.  Not a message I wanted to hear, but the comment has stuck with me and I'm trying to make my peace with what is happening to my body - and my ability to do much.  

As we get older, our bodies begin to wear out and down.  My expectations of being able to weave like I used to do in my 30s etc., are having to be adjusted.

Part of me struggles with acceptance, but it looks like this year is going to be a time of changing circumstances and adaptation to the lack of drive and determination that carried me for nearly 50 years.  And still does, to a certain extent.  The only way forward is to find out what I can *actually* do, and then find enjoyment in being able to do 'that'.

I'm trying to taper off 'producing' so much - which I then have little ability to sell.  But that doesn't mean I can't weave 'samples'.  

With the whole world walking on tip-toe, wondering when saner heads will prevail, trying to weave to sell seems an exercise in frustration.  Since I've done a pretty decent job of weaving down my stash (to certain levels of 'decent') my energy and thoughts are tending to focus on the topics for WEFT and what I feel capable of doing.  And then, of course, they need to be interested.

So what *will* I be doing?  Frankly, I have no idea.  I'm hoping to feel 'better' with my 'hail Mary' pain medication, but I have to also prepare myself for it to not work very well.  

I have enrolled in the pain management classes sponsored by the pain clinic, so I'm hoping to learn some things from those.  

The next month is going to be...fraught...with our federal election on April 28, trying one more pain medication, start attending the pain management classes.  And keep weaving.  

Right now I can still weave and I mostly manage two 45 minute sessions a day.  For 90 minutes a day I can shut my brain off and just 'be' at the loom.  

Hopefully after the next few weeks things will begin looking 'better'.  And if not, time to get into the trenches and work on making the most of what *is*, not what I *wish*.

In the meantime, I have one article just in the 'polishing' and organizing state, and the next article is taking shape.  I'm nearly finished the current warp and the next should be good to toss onto the loom late next week.  And then see what comes down the pipeline - and if I can scrape up the energy to work on something that people might be interested in reading...  

Anyway, if you are interested in this new magazine, I do encourage you to take a look.  It is available in print or digitally.

New Weavers

 

after wet finishing

loom state

One of the nice things I see is the appearance of new weavers in groups online.  It makes me feel good to think that interest in the craft of weaving is continuing to attract new 'younger' weavers.

I'm also very happy to see some of these new weavers asking about wet finishing.  But most of the groups I belong to say 'NO sales' - so I can't post links to my books.  Sometimes I will share this blog - because it is free.  

In spite of all the economic upheaval right now, my books are still available - and since they are printed in the US, there should not be any tariffs for US customers.  As for magazines, the only one I am currently writing for is WEFT - and again, I don't feel able to let groups know because I'm not allowed to 'sell' things.

So, if you are a fan of this blog - you can share the link.  If you are a fan of my books or classes, it would be nice if others would share them.

And if you belong to Goodreads, you could leave a review on The Intentional Weaver.  Last I looked, only one person had published a 'review' and they pretty much trashed the book because it had so many 'typos'.  I wonder if they were objecting to the British spellings...because we worked damn hard to remove as many typos as we could.  

So, a reminder:

Books are available here

In addition to some short video (amateur) clips on You Tube, classes are available at Sweet Georgia and Long Thread Media

Community

 

When my samples were returned from WEFT after being photographed, they included a lapel button.

For a moment I had regrets that I am no longer travelling so that I could go to a conference and wear my 'contributor' button.

I've been contributing to magazines for a rather long time, so it's not like seeing my name in a list of contents is 'new'.  But it's a 'new' magazine, and it seems a bit special to be included.

What the button did for me, however, was remind me that weaving is a community.  And while too many forces in our society are, right now, trying to rip people apart from their communities, to take a stand and say 'this is my community' is much more important than to ignore it.

It is through community that we find support, encouragement, find answers to questions.  In this time, standing up for one's community is - in many ways - a political act.  An act of resistance.

I am, frankly, flattered that the editorial staff seem to like what I'm providing.  There are many times I have been chastised - for my focus on efficiency, my equipment choices, my standards.  It took me a few years to understand that we all get to choose.  And to realize that everyone needs to make the choices that are appropriate for *them*.  

Gradually I got to the point that my focus was to provide the information, document the 'spectrums' that are built into the craft, and help people decide which were appropriate for them.

Ultimately the craft of weaving has far fewer unbreakable rules than it does cases of 'it depends'.  

As I have been weaving the samples for WEFT, I have had time to explore many of those 'it depends' issues.  Over and over again I am reminded of how little I truly 'know' and how much I tend to tweak what I am doing to encourage the quality of cloth I want to be brought into reality.

Sometimes it works.  Sometimes, it doesn't.  

But every warp, every project, increases my knowledge.  And if what I know (or suspect) is helpful to someone else, then the time/yarn/money I have spent exploring that particular rabbit warren has been worth every penny.

Because knowledge is never a waste of time.  And community is necessary to help grow the foundation of knowledge of the craft.

The first issue will begin arriving soon.