There is nothing like a little perspective to adjust your attitude...
This morning I had a telephone appointment with the surgeon who operated on me in Vancouver.
I have spent the better part of the past 8 weeks essentially kicking the floor boards and shaking my fist at the sky at the unfairness of being felled (literally) and weighed down with yet another health issue.
But this morning I found out how close I had been to having *no* more health issues. Oh, I knew how serious it had been - sort of. I knew that if I hadn't had the surgery it would have gone very badly for me. What I didn't know was how truly lucky I had been. That all those medical people who kept telling me how well I was doing were simply amazed how well my recovery had gone. And how the recovery had been expected to be much more difficult.
When I asked about speech therapy, the surgeon essentially said that by the time I could get an appointment with a therapist, I would be further along in my recovery than a therapist would be seeing.
He also said that essentially a person with that degree of bleed (17mm) would not leave hospital and go directly home, but would be expected to be discharged to a rehabilitation facility and scheduled for months (not weeks) of intense therapy.
He advised me to live my life as well and fully as I can because healing will come with using my brain, even if that means I don't have the words I need on my tongue. We talked about my weaving and he encouraged me to *slowly* take up my life again, writing, weaving etc.
I still don't feel like I want to stress myself with doing remote presentations, my speech centre has been in the middle of where the damage happened, and truthfully he told me my speech may never recover to what it had been. He encouraged me to keep playing Scrabble and whatever I enjoyed, but to not sit around waiting for recovery because recovering my life will be through living it.
To that end, I will carry on with the proto-article I had been planning before all this happened. I have a draft just needs a tiny bit of tweaking to make it look 'better' (to my eyes) and the samples I wove on the current warp have confirmed my speculation about needing to change the density to 32 epi.
I have - quite literally - been given *another* chance to live and to weave, perhaps to teach, some more.
4 comments:
I can well understand your frustration at yet 'another straw on the camel's back' .... you have been through much long before this new situation. You will get through this literally one step at a time as yo have done before, mainly because there is no other option. Sometimes one needs to hear from another, like your Dr, how 'lucky' you are to even be here and so far along in recovering in a short period of time. A lot of people are so glad to have you here still, me included. Some years ago a dear friend who had just retired, moved to a new town and home, with such grand plans for a new purpose built weaving studio and looking forward to so much more, was not as 'lucky' as you. He and his partner were sitting at a traffic light and rear ended at a high rate of speed by a mere kid. His brain bleed kept him hovering between life and death for 4 days until he lost the battle, no matter the surgeon or intervention. It was so deeply unfair. Life and death are but one breath away for all of us at any time, so the time we spend living is all that so much the sweeter. I know it changed my viewpoint on how to spend my time, the people I need to be in touch with and I lost my desire to fight useless battles. You may not be able to speak as you would like, but you have the words in you and able to write. We all look forward to hearing what you have to say and share....
Continued prayers for you, Laura. We look forward to reading your articles.
I wish you well, Laura. Wish you a good recovery.
Good that you have more clarity on your situation now. Surgeon sounds very sensible and helpful.
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