Season Change

 

Somehow, without my noticing, it has turned into deep autumn and winter is not far away now.

The other morning the windshield was covered with frost.  Which isn't a surprise at this time of year - in fact it is 'late', truth be told.

This year winter, for me, is going to be another level of challenge.  I did buy boots with built in studs in the soles, so hopefully I can get around.  Plus I have been using a cane, to make sure I don't lose my balance.  I have a handicapped parking pass, which will help, but there are other things that are going to take a while to resolve - like the swelling in my brain, the fact that there is swelling in my head, above my ears so that my eyeglasses don't sit properly on my face - which makes seeing properly difficult.  The assistant at the eye doctor's advised me to wait until the swelling goes down before I get my eyeglasses re-fitted, which makes seeing...annoying.  Fortunately my closeup vision isn't too bad, but it gets dicey at a distance - and is why I am not driving now.  I'm seeing a massage therapist who is working on the whiplash (mild, thank goodness, but still) and that is slowly getting better, too.

When I talked to the pain doctor a couple of days ago, he understood that I was even more compromised dealing with injury to the lower back, and now the upper - and was sympathetic.  It is such a relief to have found a pain doctor who doesn't ignore the other things going on in my body.  And to have him be supportive about the tweaking on the new medication.

I am trying very hard to pace myself *slowly* in building up my strength again, but I admit it is hard.  Next week I talk to the neurosurgeon who did the surgery, and hopefully find out a bit more.  What to expect.  If I have a 'deadline', then I am happier if I don't.  Something to aim for.

This is not the way I foresaw the winding up of my life so I am having to change my expectations.  Something that is always more difficult when it is pressed upon you.  And I have no idea how far my recovery will go.  

So, I guess the next few years (?) I am going to have to practice the 'no expectations' way of life.  And work at that attitude of gratitude.

Just so long as I can keep weaving...