Life is full of lessons. You don't always get what you want (thank you Rolling Stones). The customer isn't always right, even when the customer is...you. A child has someone (one hopes) to look after them; an adult has to take care of themselves (with a little help from their friends {thank you Joe Cocker and the Beatles} - in other words, don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it).
I am well into my sixth decade and facing certain realities. For one thing I am facing my next birthday without my father, my brother and my mother - all of the immediate members of my genetic family. I am the last twig on that family tree limb. It is sobering, in some ways - many ways.
Another reality? I no longer have the body of a 35 year old even though inside I still think I am one. The aches and pains increase every year, it seems like. My activity horizon seems to shrink year by year. Reality is...if there are things that I truly want to do, goals I want to achieve, I'd better damn well do them now.
I have also learned over the years to let go of stuff that I want to see happen, but which, for one reason or another, isn't going to happen. Yes, I regret those, but sometimes? Sometimes you just have to let go of those things and cast your energies in another direction.
When mom died on Dec. 31 it wasn't just the end of her life, it was an end to so many things. While stress shoved me back and forth I couldn't really think clearly so I tried not to make any - shall we say - 'permanent' - decisions.
But spring is in the air (thank you woodpecker hammering on the metal lamp post at dawn!) and my energy and brain power are returning.
The deadline for the Olds classes in Prince George is April 15. Right now it isn't looking good for either of them to go ahead. So, while I would be over the moon if a sudden spurt of registrations appeared overnight, I'm not counting on it.
Instead I am turning to other things that need my attention - like the Olds classes in Cape Breton and Olds Fibre Week. Cape Breton is full with 12, Olds needs two more to sign up for level one to go ahead.
I am anxiously waiting for a couple of friends to do their part in regards to The Book. While I still find it challenging to try to write a weaving 'text', that is one of the huge items on my bucket list. Having done it once before, I know I can do it again. It is just that the scope of this one is much bigger and much more complex. Which is why I need the help of friends to get it closer to completion.
Because last, but certainly not least, I have learned that I am not perfect. I am just a human being, trying to do the best she can. If I fail others, it is not for lack of trying. But you cannot please everyone all of the time.
Currently reading The Hidden Man by Robin Blake
4 comments:
I agree, it is a #$%^ getting older, but it does beat the alternative. Do you have weavers who don't like your methods, your teaching style, your advice? I'm sure. That's what life is like. But you always say, if your way is working for you, keep doing it. What more could a person want? I have adopted MANY of the techniques you have suggested, but I just couldn't make a few work for me...such as the live weight thing. I tried it several times, with varying modifications each time, but couldn't seem to get it right. Still, I KNOW that the changes I've made due to you have made my weaving better and my body healthier. So thank you. Again.
You have made a difference to many weavers and I have learned a lot from your blog. Plus you have created beautiful textiles sending them into the world to enrich many peoples lives. I admire you and am looking forward to the book!
But you're darn near perfect from where I see. And onward and upward is the only way to go because otherwise we'll be digging holes and going down them. I am not sentimental enough to keep a gratitude diary, or think about them too much, but thank goodness as I age, I do learn every day what an easy ride I myself have had.
And you are one of the strong warp ends that hold us weavers and elapsed weavers together. Look forward to your book, even though I find it so hard to understand weaving books as opposed to lectures/videos/pictures. :-D
Hardly 'perfect'! But thank you. ;)
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