Inadequate

 

I was reminded this morning that I once wove 40 yards (10 yards at a time) of sashes for the local Ukrainian dance troop.

Seems like a good day to think about Ukraine.

In my 20s (in the 70s) I was full of piss and vinegar, but little confidence to join political protests.  My approach to life has generally to break out my words and write my thoughts out.  Which is why this blog seemed like a natural 'fit' when I decided to start it back in Aug. of 2008.

I found science fiction (as it was generally referred to in the 1960s) as a pre-teen and stumbled across I, Robot by Isaac Asimov.  (Leaving aside his personality/character, he did write a good story.  At least good for this 11-12 year old.)

Over the years I read a fair bit of dystopian fiction, until the human population became ever more, I don't know, authoritarian?  I moved away from sf/f and more into mysteries.  The nice thing about murder mysteries is that the baddie generally gets caught.

Now I've reached the 'senior' years, with all that that entails.  I generally don't attend protests in person now, because I'm immune compromised and can't chance catching any virus.  

So, I write.  Even though I feel inadequate to the task, that no one will want to know what I think, something inside of me insists that I do *something*.  What I can do, is write.

Why do I bother?  Because people have thanked me for putting what they are feeling into words.  A few have said that my example of speaking out was necessary for them to begin speaking out.  Just knowing that they weren't alone made it possible for them to become more 'visible'.

But largely I write because if I stay silent, I will have been changed, and not in a way that I want to do.  I can't sit by and not support what I feel is necessary for human beings to live in harmony with each other and their planet.  I cannot stand by while some people march their combat boots all over the rights of others.  Free speech means free speech without the threat of the government silencing you.  For the people who stomp all over my right to speak freely, they do not respect the concept of free speech.  Nor do they understand that they can say what they like...BUT SO CAN I.  

I block people on my social media platforms.  I don't need to be told by (usually a white man) that I am inadequate, stupid, get into the kitchen and shut up.

So when the alt right start making lists of people who are not 'worthy' (in their estimation) I say no.  When they subject people to losing their medical care when they don't even have a clue about how the body works and why some might need to have an abortion, or take medication *for whatever reason*, I want to say "I say no."

When they tell people like me, with a compromised immune system, or with complex health issues that I am actually living with, say 'die already', I say no.

The age of Information has mutated into the age of DISinformation.  Learning how to recognize the alt right talking points, see the fear they are stoking, and their party platforms and recognize the dog whistles, I say no, this isn't good enough.

So I block alt right 'ads' telling me that all my problems are due to (write in the boogie man du jour), I block them.  For the people who tell me I have to let them have their say, I say 'not in my space'.  

If they want to block me, please do.  I am actually well aware of what the alt right are attempting to do, and I know what the alt right think of me - I don't need to face a daily barrage of it.

I forget who said it but "feel the fear and do it anyway".  Or "speak, even if your voice shakes".