Impostor Syndrom

There are so many ways we wind up feeling like an impostor!  For years I didn't quite believe that I had written a 'real' book, in spite of its physical presence on my shelf.

When it went out of print, I struggled again with the fact that I had actually written a book.  There were no more copies to be had, so was it really real?

Eventually, with the help of some friends, it got turned into a PDF and I sold copies that way.  But is a digital version really 'real'?

Now I am working on a second title.  I still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that I am once again attempting to put technique into words.

The Intentional Weaver is much bigger in scope than Magic.  And much, much more difficult.

Meeting with a professional editor suddenly made this whole endeavour real in a way that it had not been previously.  A 'real' editor!  Somehow it made me feel as though I really was a 'real' author!  Because I had an editor!!!

Since I cannot afford to print any kind of copies, then warehouse them, the decision was made to use an on-line host.  We found one based in Canada that offered both digital and print-on-demand options.  Since people had been saying over and over again that they wanted a 'real' book, not a digital version, this hosting site seems to fulfill everything that will be required.

The offering for Magic, already in PDF format, went live on Wednesday.  Since then there have been sales to customers in the US, Canada and Great Britain.

I was amazed anyone was still interested in getting a copy.  On the other hand, there have been new weavers come along since the original Magic became out of print in it's original format.

Being able to test the site to see how easy/difficult it was, then have real, actual, customers purchase, well, it was eye opening.

And I think I am a little more comfortable calling myself an author.

The really valuable thing about the trip to California and spending four days going through the manuscript is that I now feel that I have good bones to build on.  There is much more to do before it will be ready for publication.  But it feels right now.  And I feel a whole lot more confident that this (oh, my!) second book has something of value in it.