Closing the Door

Change can be difficult.  Letting go of the known and familiar, making different choices, not knowing if they are the best, right or correct things to be doing.  Not knowing what the future holds, how the changes will affect ones life, ones income.   

The decision to semi-retire has been about two years in the making.  Between the house renovations and all the upheaval that entailed, mom getting sick and dying, the return of my cancer...there has been much to contemplate.  Each time I analyzed what was happening, the conclusion was the same:  something had to give.  

Giving up guild workshops was a push/pull question.  Without the income, could I still keep going, financially?   Without the stress of all the administrivia, would I have more energy?   Would I have more time for the more intellectual approach to weaving that drew me into the craft in the first place?  If so, what would that direction look like?  Would there be a chance for some income?

Eventually I had to make up my mind and quit waffling about it.   There is no point closing a door if you keep opening it a crack to take a peek.  

So I did.  Announced it on my blog...no more guild workshops.  Three days later a guild contacted me...pretty please would I teach for them?   I took a couple of days to think about it then emailed back and said no.  The world did not stop spinning or blow up.  I found myself perfectly comfortable with that door shut, locked and barred. 

And then focused on the upcoming deadlines.   

Last week someone approached me with an offer.  Would I do research for her Big Project?

It was as though once I firmly closed one door, there was room for another one to open.  It didn’t take me long to think about it.  I know how to do simple searches, I’m pretty conversant with writing, I could work from home, with lenient enough deadlines that I can fit my other work in as appropriate.  

It also gives me a chance to help with a project I feel is needed and useful in the weaving world.  I won’t say more just yet as we will meet in person to discuss details, but I think our particular talents mesh well.  

For now, I need to get through this craft fair, spend a week at home working on the conference, then head to San Jose (and hope the wildfire situation is better resolved, otherwise I will bring a mask), do the last read through to sweep up any typos, hit publish, launch the introductory offer and begin thinking about my background involvement in a Big Project that I hope will be helpful to weavers.  

And let me work from home in my pjs.   Sounds like a win-win....