Wednesday, July 10, 2024

Another Roadblock


When I went to the eye doctor yesterday, it was in expectation of being cut loose.  My last appointment showed nothing wrong with my eye, and the shingles appeared to have retreated to...wherever it goes when it goes 'quiet'.  (Yes, I had chicken pox as a child - I do NOT recommend anyone doing that - get your kids vaccinated and save them from...this...)

Instead, I was told that it had come roaring back and I now had extensive scarring to my cornea.  

It was *not* the birthday 'gift' I had expected walking into the examination room.

When counting 'blessings', all I could do was be grateful that it was my 'bad' eye, not my 'good' one.

I'm back on medication, primarily a salve that she hopes will beat the virus back and heal the, so far, light damage to my cornea.  She doesn't want to put me onto the anti-viral drug because she said I would need to be on it for literally years - and it is 'hard' on the rest of my body, which is already dealing with far too many other...things.

She also recommended adding Lysine to my vitamins and other meds as it has been seen to help reduce the herpes virus (shingles is in the herpes 'family').  No studies yet, but anecdotal reports that it helps.  I'll take it and hope it will.

Yes, I'm vaxxed with Shingrex, but I'm also immune compromised, and the shingles virus will use any opportunity it can to start growing again.  Because it *is* a virus, and that is what a virus will do - grow, when it has the opportunity.  My compromised immune system is, apparently, not well enough to keep it in the dungeon.

Needless to say, that news in the morning knocked me completely off my rails so I did what I usually do - I went to the loom and wove a towel.  

If I felt pressure before, I feel it all the more intensely now.  Between my eye and my back/legs, I have no idea how much longer I will be able to continue to weave.  So I *must* do it now, while I still can.

I did work on the experiment for the first article I'm doing and got the samples tagged and organized so that I can go ahead and run the experiment today.  My alpha reader has been warned that the text will be ready in the next couple of days.  And then I'll send the text to the editor, see if that's acceptable, or if they want more.  But I think I've covered the basics.

The second article is going to take a lot more time and effort to work through, both in terms of research, and expanding my theory into some kind of reasonable conclusions.  And the deadline is October, so I really need to stay on top of things.

If I can't weave, I hope I can still write.

I keep thinking about Emily Carr, who when she could no longer paint, took up her pen and wrote.

I told a friend the other day that I am a 'true' Cancer in that when I run into an obstacle I will go around it, under it, or simply rise above and over it.

In the meantime, I will take the pills (mohr pills!) and use the salve.

To the three friends who phoned yesterday to express birthday wishes, thank you for letting me vent.  I may not be on an even keel - yet - but you helped get me anchored and not thrashing around trying to figure out what I could do.

To the folk who bought towels on my ko-fi sale, thank you.  

1 comment:

Crazy Mom! said...

Bless you. I'm so sorry.

Remember Beethoven wrote some of his best compositions when he was deaf - you are tough although I know this is VERY discouraging.

Hang in there.