Too Much

 

When is something 'too much'?

Yesterday I talked about my brother, Don.  Today I answered a question on a group and referenced the jacket I wove for him.  It was a labour of love, quite literally.  I would not have done it for anyone else in the world.

He loved working with trains, eventually rising from the lowest rung on the ladder to driving the big locomotives.  He was so chuffed when he was chosen to drive the big electric trains north to Tumbler Ridge.

But eventually working for the railroad became 'too much' for him and when they finally offered him a golden parachute (early retirement - although it wasn't really 'early' since he had 27 years with the company by then) he took it with alacrity.  He had been volunteering at the railway museum, and he spent the following year volunteering 'full time' until it was time for him to look for other work.  In the end, the museum found funding to hire him as the park manager.  And he died there (health issue, not 'accident') in February 2008.

So why did I scroll through my photos this morning to find a photo of the jacket?  Because someone posted a photo of an overshot textile, asking if they could weave it on their rigid heddle loom.

I said they could do it using pick up, or if they had a floor loom, it would be more efficient to do it on that.  And then shared the jacket (a close up) of Don's jacket.  All in pick up, using the floor loom as a way to speed up the process.

I should probably go to the museum (I donated the jacket to the museum when he died) and get better photos.  The only ones I have are from his memorial, and they are not great photos.  This one shows the inspiration photo he used to design the motif, and the back of the jacket.

He had worked to try and get a track laid from the large park 'south' of the railway museum so that the small steam loci could take trips from the park to the railway museum.  He thought it would be good for both facilities.  But he died before he could forge an agreement between the two.  In the meantime, he achieved his steam ticket so that he could drive the Little Prince.  He loved seeing the kids faces light up as they rode round the small track at the park.  And of course there is nothing quite like a steam whistle.

Right now the world is just too much.  Too much anxiety.  Tension.  Worry.  Etc.  

My happy place is at the loom, even when things are going 'wrong' - because part of what makes me happy is working out what is going wrong and fixing it so that it works again.

I am hoping that all the things we are trying to make things 'easier' for my body begin to work, although I've been warned it is not a quick fix.  

In the meantime, I worked on the next article for WEFT on Friday, number crunched for the next warp, which will be additional samples for an article I've written but was asked if I could do more samples (sure), and I need to phone my doc today to book a telephone appointment to get more drugs.  He only gave me a month's worth because we had changed the dose on a couple of them.  Things are a tiny bit 'better', but spouse asked me if it was placebo or actual change - and I could not tell.  I will take the tiny improvement, for what it's worth, since the jury is still out.

The morning passes as it usually does - with 'self-care' taking up a big chunk of it.  I adjusted the loom slightly yesterday, but may not have identified the issues.  But I won't know until I get back to weaving!  So, I will get dressed, make my phone call, then head to the loom.

To all who are feeling like everything is just too damned much right now, find something you can do to give yourself a 'break' from the 'current events'.  Centre yourself.  Make something, if you can - it doesn't have to be anything big, or important.  Just get some positive energy flowing through your veins.  If there is something you can do to help someone else, see if you have the energy to do so.  Find yourself if you feel lost in the world.

Gold dust to all who need some.  Sprinkle that shit like glitter - as some say.