Yesterday I found myself saying "If you are only as old as you feel, I feel 'old'."
And it's true.
I just didn't expect it to happen so young.
Today is our 49th wedding anniversary. Today is 11 years since my brother died and I was 'saved' from dying the same way - undiagnosed cardiac blockages. Eight years since the cancer diagnosis. Can it only be four years since triple by-pass surgery? It seems like much longer ago than that.
It's been 44 years of weaving at a production level, learning as much as I can about the craft - the physical skills, the theory - and how to convey that information to others. And wearing out my loom - and body.
I turn 69 this year. I have been dancing with 'semi' retirement for several years. As I enter my next decade, it may be time to focus on 'full' instead of 'semi'.
I feel old.
But! Being 'old' isn't a 'bad' thing! Being 'old' means I have had a lifetime of experiences, a lifetime of memories, a lifetime of learning.
Being 'old' means I don't have to pay much attention to societal expectations, conform to other people's views of how I, as a female member of society, 'should' look, dress, behave.
Being 'old' means I don't have to worry too much about the future because I have a lot less of that in my future.
Life comes, does it's thing, dies. None of us gets out of here alive. So, best we should live while we are here.
Just finished reading Holy Sister by Mark Lawrence, vol 3 in his trilogy of The Ancestor.
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4 comments:
Feeling old?
One of the things I admire about you is your ability to blog, to chat with us so frequently. It is rather like we are physically close and just catching up over the phone. What book your reading, how things are going for you that day. Sometimes I will comment but not often. I do have you in my thoughts but it seems a bit intrusive to reply too much.
I am reading, rereading actually, the Lord Peter mysteries by Dorothy Sayers. Spinning up some handpainted blue-faced Leicester, washing a very dirty, southdown fleece to make half mitts for 5 friends. It looks like rain , again, leaving my knees creaky and my disposition sour. I thought I'd see what you have been up to lately and as usual, you are busy.
Happy Anniversary by the way. and thanks for keeping us posted with all you do. It's not old, it's just tired because of all you do including updating us by blogging.
It’s been ages since I read Dorothy Sayers. Too many books, too little time. ;)
Love "being 'old' isn't a 'bad' thing." Many years have been spent riding my motorcycle, camping, and touring. A few years ago, because of health, I gave up riding my own bike but still get to ride behind my husband - but he, too, is starting to feel 'old'. No matter how long we do or do not ride, I have the most glorious pleasant memories of riding. Also many other wonderful, and not so wonderful, memories of a life I've enjoyed or learned from. I've been 72 since Jan. and celebrated our 50th in March. In last few months have been feeling 'old' and generally keep a positive outlook. Now you've given me the words to describe 'old.' Thank you.
P.S. Found your blog some years through tatting blogs.
Happy Anniversary to you and your hubby.
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