Parapet

Still sifting through conference data, picking 'nits'.  Those troublesome details that may not seem very large, unless they affect 'you'.  So we are going through again and again, trying to resolve as many issues as we possibly can to make the check in process as accurate and painless as possible.

Unfortunately my email server is in the throes of issues and I cannot at the minute send or receive emails.  So, picking nits it is, making a list for when service is restored.  And if not, I can always use my gmail account, although it isn't obviously from me and may not work for everyone.

So onwards we go.

But we are close enough to completing this part of the process that I have begun poking my head above the proverbial parapet, peeking at what lies ahead beyond the conference.

Before I can open the next door of opportunity - whatever that may be - the door of the conference needs to close.  I need to stay focused on the conference.

But the future tantalizingly lies before me, just beyond that door.

I am in the midst of making some pretty major changes in my life.  I have been on the verge of doing something about my future, dancing forward and back, this way and that way, unilaterally saying one thing today and changing my mind tomorrow.

It's been confusing (for me and my long suffering spouse) as I try to work out what my new normal is and how I can still effectively live a life that will bring satisfaction without over taxing my much reduced energy levels.

This morning I found myself articulating for the first time of cutting out something else from my goals.  I kind of shocked myself because it is a thing that I enjoy doing (mostly).  But after I thought it and shared it with a friend that I was contemplating it...I found myself actually quite comfortable with the thought of letting that go, too.  A person doesn't have to hang around 'forever' - they can step aside and let the next generation have their turn.

Ordering the Megado was a huge break through for me and I am savouring the thought of getting back to doing more experimentation - yes, more 'sampling'.  Will I write more?  Quite possibly.  Will I do magazine articles?  Maybe.  Will I do monographs?  Depends on the level of my experimentation and how much I learn.  So many people are doing really excellent work in exploring the more complex approaches to weaving design - Margaret Coe,  Bonnie Inouye, Marian Stubenitsky and others are taking cloth design and construction to a new level.

Do I have anything to contribute?  Who knows.  It's been decades since I had the time or mental acuity to look at stitched double weave, networked drafting, diversified plain weave, deflected double weave, shrinkage variables to create special effects, in any meaningful way.

But that's the thing.  Being 'retired' means I don't have to worry about so many things.  Doesn't mean I won't weave - I enjoy it too much.  It just means the pressure of deadlines will be lifted.

Just need to get through the next 3 weeks, then the next six months of other obligations.  And in the meantime?  Look forward to the arrival of the Megado.  She says, peeking over the parapet at what lies ahead...