When Plans Go Awry

There is a saying that if you want to make god laugh, tell her your plans.

I love plans.  I usually have lots of them.  Plan A, then B, C, D for when Plan A doesn't go as, well, planned.

This year (as so many before) has not entirely gone as planned.  There has been much backing and forthing, much re-thinking, much delay.  It's always this way, at least for me.  When I look back on my life, it has rarely gone according to plan.  Or at least, not without a great deal of 'waltzing' - two steps forward, one step sideways.

I am about to leave again on another trip and I had certain things I really wanted to accomplish before I left.  Instead the Universe has informed me that what I wanted and what I was going to be able to accomplish were two completely different things.  Again.

Since making the decision to shut down my business it has been a mad scramble to make room for a new loom, while deciding on how to re-arrange the studio, shift boxes and bins from pillar to post - repeatedly.  I have managed to get rid of some things, but others are still waiting to be re-homed.  Somewhere.

I found myself driven to complete another writing project which quite literally was taking up easily 5 hours a day at the end, in no small part because I could tell I was really close to finishing so then I wanted to 'get 'er done' and powered through.  But while I was at the keyboard, I wasn't in the studio.

Then the Megado arrived and we set to putting it together.  Well, Doug did, mostly.  We ran into a snag on Friday - you know, the Friday before a long weekend?  Seems like a theme running through my life - let's knock the wheels off Laura's cart on the Friday before a long weekend!

Jane Stafford and her staff, and Dave from Louet are doing everything they can to get things sorted out but it IS the Labour Day weekend and Dave is out of town.  He phoned to assure me that he would be on it when he gets home.  Ultimately it's disappointing, but on the other hand?  I really should have been weaving on the Fanny because I'm way behind where I *planned* to be in terms of production for the craft fairs.  You know, Plan A, which got derailed by other things.

I'm incredibly low on inventory and distracting myself with a writing project that may never see light of day was absolutely NOT what I should have been doing between NC and the up-coming trip.  And yet, here I am.

So once we put the loom assembly on hold yesterday, I puttered in the studio, trying to get some of the rubble dealt with.  Doug and I discussed a different layout for the work table and while I'm away he will modify the table so that it fits better in the new spot.  Ultimately it will make more room to move around and beaming warps on the Megado easier.

Four more months.  By the end of December, I will have completed the obligations I have for the business.  I have agreed to hang onto the annex until the end of January, with an option of perhaps the end of February, depending on whether or not I can get my foot 'fixed' in December.  I plan on having at least six weeks recovery time, which means I need to do everything possible before the surgery in terms of moving things from the annex here and trying to get the studio organized for 'retirement' activities.

If nothing else I have learned over the years that plans should never be written in stone.  That I should always remain flexible for when things go awry.  Sometimes my original plan isn't the best thing I ever thought of and being forced into reconsidering isn't always a bad thing.

I would love to have a functional 'easy' button, but Life isn't Easy.  Accepting that things may not turn out as planned, as hoped, and to be willing to reconsider is actually a good thing.  Like realizing that the spot the work table has been in for about 35 years is now not the best place.  Because things have changed.  And now Plan B will actually be better than staying 'stuck' with the idea that because the table has always been in a certain place it has to stay there.

Like being forced to stop working on one project and focusing on what I need to be doing instead.

Like allowing myself space to do other things because pretty soon I won't have the production treadmill to always take priority. 

Like not beating myself up because I wrote instead of wove.  Because it doesn't really matter if I don't get everything done right this second. 

Like not knowing what 2020 will bring, not having a calendar full of teaching obligations to work on and have income from teaching - in person.

Like considering things that are not efficient to weave because earning an income from selling my textiles will not be my priority going forward.

Like being somewhat apprehensive of how it is all going to work out, but accepting that Life is like that - no guarantees. 

Like reminding myself that I'm still alive and it's ok to be 69 and not in the best of health so retirement is definitely A Good Thing.

Like being encouraging and supportive of my friends and colleagues in their endeavours. 

It is the end of August.  There are four months left in this year.  And then I will shut my business down and then?  Who knows.  It is time for change.  While making the decision was not easy, it was time.  So for the first time in a very long time, I actually have no plans.  I have options.  Some I may pursue, some I may not.  And that's ok, too.