Autumn in the Air

September 1.  Labour Day.  In BC school starts on Tuesday and we are off, heading away from summer and into autumn.  And then winter.

This morning I had plans.  Oh I'm sure you are surprised to hear that!  But, yes, I had plans.  But then I looked out the window and found myself content to sit and read for a bit.  And that bit turned into a bit longer than a bit.

I miss the adrenaline and drive I used to have.  I do.  On the other hand, I don't mind too terribly much.  It's peaceful.  It's quiet.  The daylight hours are shorter and coming home from guild the other night, I had to turn the van headlights on.  Our long summer days are done and we are rolling down into winter.

I like the seasons.  Each one brings something different, something special.  The colours change, the light changes. 

Life is like that, too.  As we grow up we go through changes in terms of decisions that we make and priorities that are important to our lives.

The past few years I have had to accept that my life is also changing.  I am in the autumn of my life.  What that will look like, I don't know - can't know.  So I am leaving myself open to whatever happens.

I have done what I can to make this time of my life interesting, fun and enjoyable given my health issues.  I watched mom as she struggled with more and more physical limitations.  Other folk I know have managed to maintain an active lifestyle well into their 90s.  What my 70s will look like is to be determined. 

What I do know is that I will weave as much as I can.  It is just that now that I'm in the autumn of my life what I weave will be different from the summer heydays.  Because I don't need to do that anymore.  There will be time for quiet contemplation, for exploration, for learning and growth.  And time to support and encourage students, to the best of my ability.

A small part of me harbours regrets and disappointment about certain things but I turn my head to the future and open the door to whatever lies ahead.