Over the weekend and yesterday I discovered that I am more than ready to end my professional life. Beyond ready, in fact. At one point yesterday I threatened to cancel the last two shows of the year because stick a fork in me, I am so done.
Sanity eventually prevailed and I adjusted my attitude, pulled myself together, came up with Plan B, and carried on. I even managed to get to the Megado and carefully weave the rest of the scarf I'd begun before the show.
My life for the last 40+ years has been all about the scramble, from one deadline to the next. One job to the next. Looking ahead, sometimes years, booking shows, booking classes, thinking up one more Big Project.
Since around June of this year, I have had to completely re-think everything I have been doing. Let go of expectations. Acknowledge the reality of this moment and that things may never get better. At this point, I'm just working on trying to not let them get worse.
When some people find out I'm retiring they assure me I will be busier than ever. If I wanted to stay busy, I wouldn't be retiring...the fact is I cannot maintain the kind of schedule I have kept for the past four decades. That's the whole point of retiring! I needed to Press Pause on my life as it was and begin to craft a new one. One with less stress. Fewer deadlines. More time to stop and think. Read. Coast.
A life with fewer rolling deadlines will allow me to think more carefully. Dig more deeply. Explore further than I could when I was distracted by the daily grind.
So while I won't be sitting on the sofa eating bon-bons, I look forward to a more thoughtful approach to weaving. And living.
Someone asked what I was going to do and I had to admit that right now? I have no idea. I have to make it through the next three months, finish closing down my business. Take care of some health issues. Maybe by the time the solstice arrives I will begin to see the light of a new life. Until then? Just taking care of business. Because I'm not a quitter. When I say I'll do something I will move heaven and earth to do it. Studio Fair and Art Market, I will be there. Come and say bye.
PS - I no longer accept credit/debt cards. Payment by e-transfer/Paypal/cash/cheque only
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1 comment:
Retirement will be busy, but different. The busy will be what you chose to do daily, not what you must do...it is wonderful! I weave when I want, what I want and I encourage you to take frequent breaks and smell the roses a lot! Glad you are on the path....a fellow weaver that is coming up on one year of retired bliss.
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