Report From the Fell

 

tea towel with cut line woven in for easy cutting/serging

What goes into the creative act?

Things.  Lots and lots of...things.  Lots and lots of thinking.  

Many times the thoughts are barely conscious, hardly noticeable.  Many times I come away from the loom realizing that I'd been thinking about the 'next' warp the whole time, paying only surface attention to the actual, physical act of weaving.

Writing these articles for WEFT has created a great deal of grey cell crunching.  This warp was meant to be the beginning of the weaving for the next article.  Instead I had to make some changes on the 'fly' as things were not turning out the way I wanted them to do.

Somehow I made a threading error - but it only shows when I use weft of a high contrast to the warp.  I'm not a big fan of throwing yet more time down the drain when a simple 'cheat' will make it possible for others to use these tea towels, most of them never spotting the 'mistake'.  These will get designated 'seconds', not sold.  I have a rather large coterie of health care professionals and I like to give them a thank you in the form of a tea towel now and again.  :)

In order to get a colour that was saturated in the more-or-less correct colour, I decided to use one of the huge cones of 16/2 cotton for the weft.  Having just woven a bunch of samples looking at things like density, I had a pretty clear idea of what would happen when I substituted the open end spun yarn for the ring spun - and I was not disappointed when my speculation turned out correct.

Most of the weaving today was me, turning the idea of the differences between the two yarns, ostensibly 'identical' but knowing they were not, showing me that what I expected was what I was getting.

Now that I've sorted that warp out and it appears to be weaving nicely, it is time to turn back to the writing.  I've been worrying away at the article that is *nearly* finished.  Given my judgement is not great right now, it seems even more important that I have someone help make my way through the language.  Someone needs to make sure that I am saying what I *think* I am saying, rather than depend on my brain which still has sinkholes into which words will sink out of sight.

After a few days of 'spring' we now have snow - again.  Spring break up strikes again.  Oh well.  It was a nice day to stay in and get to the loom.  

WEFT

 

honeycomb - loom state

honeycomb - wet finished

Well, here we are - March 25.  As in, *nearly* April - and the debut of the magazine WEFT.

I've just spent the morning reading through 'proofs' (not sure that they are called that anymore - yes I'm *that* old!) and sending them back approved or corrections noted.

I'm excited to have this opportunity to continue to write about weaving and looking forward to this new addition, see how it grows.

In many ways I don't feel like I have much more to 'offer' than what I've been doing since the 1990s and first got onto the internet using a Free-Net portal (yes, including the electronic 'hand shake'!)

However, just writing the first few articles I've learned stuff.  Sometimes it is a sharpening of my focus, sometimes it's realizing I've gotten used to certain 'assumptions' that are sort-of correct, but not the entire picture.

(Amazing how the picture changes when you add a microscope!)

It is part of what continues to fascinate me about textiles.  How many times can a person take the same quality of yarn and make something 'new' and/or 'different'. 

Perhaps even 'original'?

OTOH, with the centuries that humans have been making textiles, the sophistication of the technology, even long before the age of 'computers', I don't know if some ancestor has done what I've done, previously.  So I give a nod to Elizabeth Zimmerman (knitter) who never claimed to have 'invented' anything knitting related, but would say instead that she had *un*vented something - as in she was pretty sure that someone at some time in history had likely done the exact same thing and she had only 'uncovered' it again.

With the fall last August and the slow recovery (it feels like, experts tell me I'm doing *really* well), I have been struggling with the rather huge change in my physical well being.  But it's been almost 7 months since I woke up - rather surprisingly - in Vancouver General Hospital sporting a rad new scar.  It was a pretty radical change on top of everything else I was dealing with, but eventually I had to stop being angry at what I'd lost, and grateful about what I was still able to do.  Much more slowly, much less energy to burn, but - still here.  Still weaving.

And - still learning.  

Textures

 

It's been quite a few years since I've woven this design and I had (sort of) forgotten the tendency of the cloth to develop quite a lot of 'texture' during wet finishing.

I know people tend to say that 'tracking' only happens in plain weave, but the phenomenon of tracking will happen to other weave structures - it just looks different to what happens in plain weave.

I wet finished this load of towels the other day and finished pressing them yesterday.  When I had taken them out of the dryer, I was immediately reminded about the twill blocks tendency to 'fold up' - when I'm working with small sized 'blocks' of twills that change from warp emphasis to weft emphasis.  Especially when using two completely different yarns, warp and weft.  

This morning I did the finishing press on another twill block design, also a small size of twill blocks, and it also tried to develop some texture, similar - sort of - to waffle weave.

Not all, and not woven in all fibres.  But if you do something similar and you wind up with a very 'crumpled' cloth while still damp from wet finishing, don't panic.  Keep the cloth damp until you can give them a good *hard* press.  The above photo is before hemming and will receive a 'finishing' press once they are.  But even so, if you look close you should be able to see the difference between the blocks.  Plus you might just be able to see the 'faux' plain weave design woven into the cloth.

AI and Me

 

Lately it seems more and more of 'life' on line comes with a helping of 'artificial intelligence' - which has less knowledge and more 'thieving' to it.

Again, I'm seeing a wash of authors speaking up, saying that their books have been stolen by LLM companies to 'train' their 'AI'.  

When someone who is *not* a writer tells me (or another author) that they are going to just use AI to write books and make a mint, it is really difficult to say nothing.  

Even my Google email now offers to help me 'summarize' my emails, or gives me writing prompts.

Excuse me, I can write my own thoughts, thankyouverymuch.

Likewise I'm seeing more 'new' weavers popping up, asking for help.  I remind myself that they just don't know - how wide, deep and thick the craft is - and how many centuries humans have been weaving to generate a many lifetimes' worth of knowledge.

Since I am now 'elderly' and crabby with it, I try to scroll on by, unless the question is specific enough I feel I can give a meaningful answer.

But since I've been doing this thing that I do for most of my life, I also feel like I have already said everything that I could (or should?) say.

I'm asking myself again if I should give up, give over, and ignore the pleas for help.  And then I get an email from a publication saying 'please write'.  

And I remind myself that for all that I've published 4 books, written so many articles I'm not even sure how many there have been, and this blog since Aug. 2008, none of those things have given me the audience I might get by appearing in a large audience magazine.

I have been procrastinating about finishing the article that is *almost* done, and I have begun working on the 'next' article.  And now I have a list of topics the magazine is hoping someone will write about.  Do I pull out my 'usual' culprits?  Or do I go further afield from my 'usual' and maybe talk about something else for a change?

Whatever I decide I should let them know I'm interested...

Today's job task:  press 21 towels; begin threading new warp; create chart of samples for nearly-done article and proof read.  And yet, once again I'm dragging my feet getting to the studio...

Brain Cramp

 

This is what I spent several hours the past couple of days doing - mucking about with twill 'lines'.

Then this morning I woke up (I use the term loosely because I hardly slept all night) I panicked and thought I had designed it for 36 epi and I wanted to only use 32.  Because reasons.

The density at which a weaver sets the warp has to take into consideration a number of variables.  There is a reason that density is generally given as a 'range' (e.g. twill 30-36 epi for 2/16 cotton).  While I sat and drank my coffee I decided I had better double check what I designed this warp for - 2/16 cotton at 32 epi.  This is a pretty 'standard' density for 2/16 cotton and I will go up higher depending on the weave structure.

This past year (nearly) I've been using 2/16 cotton and the fine singles linen from Lithuania.  The linen is quite a bit thinner than the 2/16 cotton and will be woven in some kind of 'fancy' twill.  However, the next warp is also meant to be tea towels. It seemed to me that 32 epi  for 2/16 cotton warp/weft with a 2:2 twill was reasonable, so that's what I'm going with.

I cut the other warp off yesterday, but was pretty achy after chiropractor.  I worked on some 'prep' work and in between the 'up/down' periods of insomnia overnight, I went down to the studio and inspected/repaired the cotton/linen towels.  They can now be tossed into the washer/dryer.  The spool rack is all kitted out with the tubes I'll be using to beam the warp.  I might begin beaming when I get home from a therapy session.  Although by then I might actually be tired enough that I will be able to sleep.  

As for the pain meds, I continue to ride the Mad Mouse.  I have no idea what my body is doing right now, but letting me sleep is not one of the things it is willing to do on a regular basis.  

However, I've just reviewed the draft.  There is an 'issue' at the selvedge because it divides unevenly to frame the body of the towel.  However, it will be very difficult to tell at any kind of distance that the selvedges are not identical.  I *could* force it, but it leads to some awkwardness in the threading and honestly?  I donwanna.  I just want something fairly simple but effective at illustrating the topic for the article.

I used to sweat bullets trying to get my warps 'exactly' 'perfect'.  Over the years I began to realize that something I was sweating bullets over were just not that big a deal.  

And why the weaver really has to wait until after wet finishing before making up their minds!  Even though I am used to the transformation - even with fibres that don't full - the last set of samples for the article I'm finishing writing proved once again that you really can't judge your results while the web is still in the loom.   

Seems like the lesson I need to keep learning.  

I see newer weavers worried because they don't have reeds to fit the density they wish to weave.  They want to know what size reeds they should have.  Personally, for most of my weaving, I have used 8, 9, 10, 12, and 15.  I use a 'compound' sleying if I don't have one that exactly divides into the number I need.  You can use more than one end per dent and can even cram more into each dent if you want/need a higher density.  Most of the time the reed marks will come out, but not always when weaving with linen (the special fibre that needs special handling!)  If I have used a 'standard' division of the threads, each with 4 for example, if the reed marks don't come out in the wet finishing, they will be consistent.  

And we all know that if we can't be perfect that we work to be consistent.  

As for what kind of reed?  If you live in a humid climate, stainless steel is 'best' to avoid rust starting.  My reeds are around 40+ years old, most of them.  Over the years I've accumulated other sizes, which I find useful in rough sleying when I beam a warp wound on a warping board.  They are expensive, but they should last a weaver for their entire lifetime if cared for properly.  

Yes, you can weave without a studio full of equipment.  Figure out what appeals to you, why you want to weave.  Then focus on that type of weaving and buying looms/equipment that best suits that type of cloth.  Weaving is full of things that behave a certain way, until something changes and then oopsie.  It is part of why I keep weaving, keep digging, keep weaving samples and experimenting.  This month is 50 years since I made the decision to quit working for someone else and become my own 'boss'.  I have gone through changes, some minor, some massive.  Some I've initiated myself, others have delivered an offer I couldn't refuse.

But always, I am always learning.  And that is why I keep weaving.

Faux Spring?

 

This photo is from a few years ago and shows rather more ground than it does currently - but much later in the season.

Is what we have 'faux' spring?  Dunno.  The forecaster is saying much higher temps are coming, so this could be it - the last 'gasp' of winter?  And how the yard will look in a few days?  Time will tell.

I've been struggling with managing the new pain meds.  The new medication is behaving differently and while things change, I have no idea if it is going to be a good medication for me.  That is yet to be determined.

What is happening is that I've not been sleeping well, and I drag myself through the day knowing that I'm running on short rations for sleep.  And the less sleep I get, the more my brain hiccoughs and swallows whole words, or spits out doubles.  

However, I have managed to make some progress on the article, and will be sending to my alpha reader in a few days (she says, hopefully).  

In the meantime, I've plugged away on the loom and just this afternoon cut the warp off and started cutting/serging the towels.  Tomorrow I will inspect/repair and get them into the washing machine.  I have appointments every day (mostly) this week, so I don't know if I will feel up to actually beaming the next warp soon.  OTOH, I could work on the wet finishing and finish off the article?  Start the next?

I have a short list of warps I want to do and since I'm this close to done the last article, I'm going to work on the next article sample/project.  This afternoon I finished tweaking the draft I've been working on for the last couple of days.  I will likely design several drafts, but only weave one of them.  Readers will need to understand how to 'read' their cloth and the best way to do that is walk people through designing a draft of their own.  

My story, sticking to it.

One of the things that teaching weaving has taught me is that different people process information in different ways.  The more information I can provide so that people can process the way that makes most sense to them, the better they will learn.  If they want to.

But someone has to continue to explore the craft and understand how it works.  Not everyone is comfortable designing their own patterns, and there has to be enough people left who *do* understand how to do that so that people get good information.

And the more people who understand the craft, the more people there will be to keep the craft alive.

Steeping

 

Yesterday I wrote another chunk of text for the current article I'm working on.  I was already beyond the word limit, but I had some other niggling thoughts I felt I should include.  And that's what editors are for - weeding out the 'extra' words.  :)

So, I thought about those 'extra' words while I was weaving, and just now came up and added those 'bullet points' at the end of the article.

I feel awkward because at the end of the experiment, I had little 'hard' data to share, but a whole lot more 'sample, sample, sample'!

But that's the thing about weaving.  

Variables.  Lots and lots of variables.  From the effect the climate and or health of the crop affects the fibre, through how it is processed, then spun, long before the weaver gets their hands on the yarn.  And just because you have woven with the yarn previously, doesn't mean it will be identical.

When I was first writing Magic in the Water, I determined that it was actually cheaper to buy the linen directly from Sweden.  So I gulped - hard - and ordered the yarn and then waited while it wended its way to Canada.

I was going to weave those samples on the Leclerc loom, and when I started winding the warps, the yarn was...well let's say that there were rather a sobering number of knots in the yarn.  Upon examination, the knots were all in the singles.  Since there was almost literally a knot every yard, I knew I could not afford to dump the yarn in the garbage, so I wound the first warp with breath bated.

And the yarn once plyed was fine.  I could still sort of see the tiny knots in the singles, but I also knew that by the time I'd wet finished it, those knots would likely be invisible.  

The following year I visited the dye house in Sweden and my friend and the manager were talking, mostly in Swedish (well, they were *in* Sweden!)  Once in a while they would include me in the conversation and one of those times was the comment by the mill manager that the crop that year had been incredibly good.  

"Oh, not like last year's then?"  He was startled, but looked a bit sheepish and said that the previous crop had been terrible.  

"I know.  The shipment I received was full of knots in the singles, but they behaved ok in the loom.  I was worried until I got that first warp woven and it was ok."

Then we talked about the health of the crops and sometimes you couldn't just compost it but you had to do the best you can to make it work, because our ancestors certainly could not have afforded to throw an entire years production away.

So I am going to let what I wrote steep for a few days, see if anything else occurs to me, and if it sits ok, the file will be handed off to my alpha reader.

Although writing is getting 'easier', when I'm tired or stressed whole words will either not make it from my brain to my finger tips - or words will hiccough and double up.  Sigh.

However the next article in the queue is going to be fun.  Too tired to start working on that today, but maybe tomorrow.

Foundations of Knowledge

 

Winter has snuck back and is currently depositing more snow on the ground.  It's one of those 'spring break up' storms - windy, wet snow, nasty to be out in.

A good day to stay in and try to carry on dealing with some of the rubble in my office.

I have been feeling quite...overwhelmed...of late.  Trying to find something that helps with the pain and winding up with different pain as an adverse effect was beginning to feel pointless.  As if I were meant to carry on for the rest of my days in discomfort and running short on sleep rations.  

It has made every day life more difficult and reinforces the urge to just stay home.  Not connect with anyone unless I am feeling like I have the energy - which has been sadly lacking of late.

However we are now in March, and I am tentatively talking about 'spring break up' as if we aren't still liable to have some more snow storms.  But hopefully no more extreme cold.  

I have been re-thinking my approach to the current WEFT article and have cleared enough clutter out of the way that I can - if I have the mental wherewithal - beginning documenting the samples.  Something that I have listed as a priority for...days...and which I have not yet touched.  

At this point I'm not sure if what I have done is 'enough', or the direction they wanted to go with the topic.  I need to do the analysis and documentation, and then I can more clearly see the results and articulate the conclusions.  Which I readily admit, are currently swirling around in the back of my brain.

I'm just over 6 months since the brain injury, and while things slowly get 'better', I still feel hindered by it, and therefore reluctant to try to write.  However, without the data, there isn't anything to write about, so the next step is going to be critical.  

On a such a dreary day, maybe I will feel inspired to settle and begin?

The first issue of WEFT will be coming out next month.  I have articles in the first 3 issues, and working on the 4th.  And for the 5th I've agreed to do an article that I think will be fun to do.  Time to offer the 'carrot' of the next article to help coax me across the finish line on the current one?

If anyone is interested in my books, they are printed in the US so there are no tariffs involved for USians.  At this point I have no clue about Canadians getting copies.  However Sweet Georgia Yarns recently ordered 20 copies of The Intentional Weaver.  I signed book plates to go into those.  If you want to order one (or more) of my books they are available here... or from the Sweet Georgia website

Rock and a Hard Place (politics)

 

Woke to the 'news' of the latest tantrum - how *dare* Canada retaliate to their punishment?  I suppose we were supposed to curl up in defeat in the face of their displeasure?

So not only are the 'paused' tariffs reinstated (one assumes) amidst the accusations of Canada not *allowed* to put export taxes on certain products, trump has upped the ante and added yet more.  Please note that when a country enacts a 'tariff', that fee is paid by the citizens of said country enacting the tariff.

Their complaint this morning that Canada is an habitual abuser of things like tariffs, we are in fact the *worst*.  As they jack up the tariffs even more.  Plus the brag that all automotive building will be done only in the US going forward.

So, I'm leaving my ko-fi shop active, but advising USians to not buy from me.  Don't give him anymore of your hard earned money than you need to.

While he sits on his golden throne in his 'new' clothes, he will continue to try to destroy our economy (therefore, 'country') *and yours*.  

Because he doesn't care about anyone else.  Ultimately the lists will be drawn up and eventually pretty much everyone will be on one or another.  

Yes, the sanctions Canada is applying will hurt us, but hopefully we can put a damper on his isolationist/expansionist plans and keep our country free of the alt right.

How does that song go - keep kicking at the dark until it bleeds daylight?

Thinking Things Through

 

cover for Stories from the Matrix

Most people seem to assume that creativity bursts upon one in a sudden, perfect thought, no editing or changing allowed.  

We watch a program called Fake or Fortune.  In it an art dealer/expert and a journalist pair up to try and trace the provenance and/or originality of a painting.  Sometimes it gets quite convoluted, but one of the experts on the program will use technology to try to see what's under the surface.  When they use the technology, they can see below the surface paint and see the under drawings, and track the small (or sometimes large) changes the painter made as they were planning the painting.

Creatively isn't so much visual fireworks, but a fair bit of brain cramping, forehead scrunching, changing this, that, and something else, until being finally 'satisfied' enough to begin the actual creation of the item.

At no point am I ever assured of 'success' until I put the warp into the loom, weave it and then wet finish it.  Potters have a trial by fire; weavers a trial by water.

And why I am adamant that it isn't finished until it's wet finished.

In Stories from the Matrix, I tried to talk about the sorts of things that are rarely discussed.  The balancing act of taking the things that need to be done and explain why I used them in a specific way.

And other musings I tend to think about while throwing the shuttle.

I am weaving the next warp, and as of today I will hit the 1/3rd mark.  I'm still struggling with the new pain medication.  There are too many variables and it is time to let my body rest while I use the new medication and see if - as it was explained to me recently - that I do have to choose the pain I will be living with.  I have been on the new medication for 9 days and there have been some improvements, but still some pain.  It's like playing whack-a-mole - I address one thing, but 2 or 3 more pop their heads up and which I hope to keep them down.

Yesterday I finally did 'something' about some of the clutter in my office.  I was trying to write the text for the current article and realized that with so much chaos going on in the world, I needed to clear some of it out of my office.  I can *almost* see the top of the desk now.  But I need more work space, so I'm going to carry the tv trays up and give myself some flat space to work on that isn't cluttered.  

In so many ways I am 'done' with this project, in part because of the transition between meds.  My concentration is shot and my energy levels nearly non-existent.  My goal for the coming week is to keep weaving twice a day, and work on the data for the article.  

And, given the tariff and USPS situations, I am going to go ahead and mail the samples for the previous article and send them by courier.  I hear that the Seattle post office is overwhelmed and any mail that needs to be routed via Seattle are not getting delivered in a timely fashion.  And because I have no idea what will happen with a courier and the tariffs, well, a courier will at least get my parcel back to me if they can't deliver it.  I may have to consider not sending samples to the US but offer to take photos myself?

Still thinking...

International Women's Day

 

I wouldn't call myself a 'public speaker' - mostly I talked to weavers, about weaving.  Nothing like having a sympathetic audience!

But one year, I was contacted by the local organizers for International Women's Day and asked if I would talk to the attendees about being an artist/creativity.

I was pretty desperate for some income and they were offering a $50 fee, and a chance to show my textiles.

Considerably overwhelmed with Life at the time, I then kind of forgot about it until the date came crashing in on my conscious thinking.  The morning of the gathering there were a lot more people than I'd expected, filling the meeting hall at the local hotel.  

As I stood in front of the crowd, I remembered one thing, and only one thing - I was going to end with the phrase "we need our bread, but we need our roses, too".

Then I talked about the creative process, the experience of trying to earn my income by weaving, the benefit of life long learning that weaving provides (as does pretty much any creative endeavour).

I just opened my mind to the experience - as I knew it - to flow from me.

The thing is, mostly my community has rarely glimpsed my lifetime of effort to educate people about weaving.  Once a year I would show up (until 2020) and have a booth at two of the local seasonal sales.  And that was pretty much it for most local people's awareness of me.

But I remember what I did that day.  I don't remember the words, in part because I hadn't written what I was going to say down, nor was it recorded.  I just remember the expressions on the faces of the people, as they thought about how much being creative is part of the human experience.  

Did I change anyone's mind?  No data.  I would assume I'd done a good job if all I did was open a mind or two, here and there.  

And that is 'success' enough for me...

Chaos

When I woke up this morning it was to the 'news' that the US president has - after two days - paused the tariffs.  Again.  Wonder if we claim 'time served' instead of starting the clock over again, every he has a mind to begin again?

No doubt the US automobile industry explained in words of one syllable what was about to come raining down on 'his' economy.

Since I have been pretty regularly continuing to make more tea towels, I have just now posted one of the new ones to my ko-fi shop not knowing when the tariffs will come back.  So I do understand anyone from the US not spending money right now.  As for Canadians, maybe you want to keep your money in Canada?

There are only 11 of these towels and they are rather...special...as in there are going to be very few of these towels made.  I am currently weaving another warp of this combination of yarns, but in a different design.  If there is any linen after that, I may use the rest/left over linen on a 2/16 unmercerized cotton warp.

The world may be wobbling on its axis, but I cannot let that affect me too much.  I have knowledge.  I have skills.  (Both or either can be debated, it depends.)

And I have the stubborn attitude that I need to keep teaching.  And mostly, I need to keep weaving.  With the current president, and all the rest of the alt right, trying to destroy as much of society as it can in the shortest possible time frame (so he can brag he did it in fewer days than his idol) my only 'power' is to keep creating.  Working with words; working with yarns, trying to drip a little creative energy into the universe.

Maybe even light a candle for someone else...and then there will be *two* candles to fend off the dark.

Subtle

still need to vacuum around the loom - the dust buffalo herds are getting quite large!

 It was really hard to get a good photo of the cloth currently on the loom, but I think if you squint you can see that the woven design depicts plain weave.  A visual woven 'pun' so to speak.

This is one of those cloths that you just kind of have to go forward with faith that it will turn out.  I don't usually do a lot of white on white anymore but I still have some of the white linen and the 2/20 merc. cotton, and I really liked the quality of the last warp I did with that combination so, here I am again.

Yesterday I printed out the rough copy of the next article (because it had some data in it I wanted to use) and started over again.  I realized that during the time I was trying to write I was struggling - too much pain, and too much current events.  It seemed better to me to just begin again, with a clearer head.

Does that mean I think I've found the 'correct' pain med for me?  No, not really.  It has been just 5 days and I feel as though things are still settling down.  And I have no idea if it will actually be effective for me, so, onwards.

I've got the contract for the 'next' WEFT article and it looks like it is going to be fun, so I want to finish off this one and get it into the production stream.  Mostly I want to clear the mental 'decks' so that I can jump into the next set of samples.  These will be 'finished' items, not just 'samples'.  

I am grateful that I can still weave and see how my fibre 'dreams' turn out.  Some do as I expect, some do not.  It's all grist for the mill, so to speak.  

Right now we are in spring break up - which is far too early, but winter could re-visit us yet in March.  In the meantime I'm enjoying seeing the sun and how much longer the daylight hours are becoming.

Inadequate

 

I was reminded this morning that I once wove 40 yards (10 yards at a time) of sashes for the local Ukrainian dance troop.

Seems like a good day to think about Ukraine.

In my 20s (in the 70s) I was full of piss and vinegar, but little confidence to join political protests.  My approach to life has generally to break out my words and write my thoughts out.  Which is why this blog seemed like a natural 'fit' when I decided to start it back in Aug. of 2008.

I found science fiction (as it was generally referred to in the 1960s) as a pre-teen and stumbled across I, Robot by Isaac Asimov.  (Leaving aside his personality/character, he did write a good story.  At least good for this 11-12 year old.)

Over the years I read a fair bit of dystopian fiction, until the human population became ever more, I don't know, authoritarian?  I moved away from sf/f and more into mysteries.  The nice thing about murder mysteries is that the baddie generally gets caught.

Now I've reached the 'senior' years, with all that that entails.  I generally don't attend protests in person now, because I'm immune compromised and can't chance catching any virus.  

So, I write.  Even though I feel inadequate to the task, that no one will want to know what I think, something inside of me insists that I do *something*.  What I can do, is write.

Why do I bother?  Because people have thanked me for putting what they are feeling into words.  A few have said that my example of speaking out was necessary for them to begin speaking out.  Just knowing that they weren't alone made it possible for them to become more 'visible'.

But largely I write because if I stay silent, I will have been changed, and not in a way that I want to do.  I can't sit by and not support what I feel is necessary for human beings to live in harmony with each other and their planet.  I cannot stand by while some people march their combat boots all over the rights of others.  Free speech means free speech without the threat of the government silencing you.  For the people who stomp all over my right to speak freely, they do not respect the concept of free speech.  Nor do they understand that they can say what they like...BUT SO CAN I.  

I block people on my social media platforms.  I don't need to be told by (usually a white man) that I am inadequate, stupid, get into the kitchen and shut up.

So when the alt right start making lists of people who are not 'worthy' (in their estimation) I say no.  When they subject people to losing their medical care when they don't even have a clue about how the body works and why some might need to have an abortion, or take medication *for whatever reason*, I want to say "I say no."

When they tell people like me, with a compromised immune system, or with complex health issues that I am actually living with, say 'die already', I say no.

The age of Information has mutated into the age of DISinformation.  Learning how to recognize the alt right talking points, see the fear they are stoking, and their party platforms and recognize the dog whistles, I say no, this isn't good enough.

So I block alt right 'ads' telling me that all my problems are due to (write in the boogie man du jour), I block them.  For the people who tell me I have to let them have their say, I say 'not in my space'.  

If they want to block me, please do.  I am actually well aware of what the alt right are attempting to do, and I know what the alt right think of me - I don't need to face a daily barrage of it.

I forget who said it but "feel the fear and do it anyway".  Or "speak, even if your voice shakes".

Resistance (politics)

 

The photo is the most recent addition to my ko-fi shop, but since the current president of the US has vowed to apply a 25% tariff on all goods coming from Canada to the US, nothing has sold.  In fact I have been encouraging USians to *not* buy from Canada.  That US tariff does not go to Canada, but is a tax on its own citizens and goes into...no one knows really, given the chaos artists currently stomping their way through the US administration, cutting anything that appears to help a citizen facing a crisis.

Since most of my sales come from the US, I am left wondering why I bother having a sales site.  But I just paid the renewal fee in January, right before the president dropped his 'strategy' - which falls squarely in the aggressive end of the spectrum.  

I had one USian chastise me because the president 'only made a suggestion, Canada was free to turn it down'.  Um, tell me you don't understand the term 'annexation' without...

First of all, 'annexation' of a foreign country is never 'benign'.  It is a threat, and from a country with 10 times the population and magnitudes more for their military budget, it is a very distinct threat.

According to my dictionary, to annex is to take possession without right.  This is the word the president himself is using, but as usual, the man who does not understand boundaries is pressing onwards, obviously assuming that he will waltz over the border and take whatever he wants, without regard to natural protections, human protections, and the fact that we are a separate sovereign country, and have no desire to become the 51st 'state'.  Anyone who assumes that Canadians will be able to vote in the US, have not been paying attention.  Or they need to ask what being a protectorate of the US like Puerto Rico is like.  (And just the other day, the president vowed to 'redraw the US/Canada border'.  Um, no.)

I do not 'blame' the ordinary US citizen for this mess.  The alt right has been laying plans since Regan to take over democracy and apply - well there are a number of terms, choose one.  The thing is, the more we 'bow' to the demands of authoritarians, the fewer rights we will have.  To bend to obviously threatening statements, means letting their statements remain in effect.  

So the current prime minister, given that he is already stepping away from the PMO, has been given more freedom to speak clearly and plainly.  And I am 100% supportive of the steps of the Canadian government to not cave in to the bully.  What that means, however, is that the likes of Musk will try even harder to 'break' Canada.  There any number of peoples around the world who understand what it is like to poke the beaver and discover the bear.  

Elbows Up.

State of the Studio

 

March 2, 2025 - prepping to weave

In so many ways New Year seems a year ago.  But actually looking at the calendar and it appears to be just close to spring break up.

I finished the previous warp last week, and spent the past few days getting a few things done.  I inspected and repaired the towels after cutting them from the loom, then ran them through the washer/dryer.  I pressed them over two days and now they are drying on the rack which gets set up behind the loom.  It's a bit of a 'squeeze' to get into and out of the loom room, but I'm pressed (pun) for space and that is where it fits 'best'.  For the time being, at least.  And it gets stored away when not in use, so it's just a couple days of dodging through the goat trail.

I still have a long way to go to weave down my yarn inventory where I would like it to be, but by the same token, there are almost no boxes of yarn packed away out of sight.  I have 'boxes/bins' of yarn as a way to keep them sorted.  Some of the colours I use are very close in hue/value and hard to tell them apart.  So I tend to put them into small boxes so I can more easily see which ones I need.

On the past warp I was able to use up a rather large part of a very big cone for weft, but I still have these giant mill cones I inherited from a friend.  I am trying really really hard to leave less than a tonne of yarn when I shuffle off this mortal coil.  It's great to see some progress happening.

Friday night I started the new pain medication.  I have no idea if it will be a good fit for me, but things are 'changing'.  How?  Not sure how to describe it.  One of the adverse effects is 'trouble sleeping' - and I've had 2 nights in a row that I could not *get* to sleep.  Until it was nearly time to wake up.  So, we'll see how that goes, given I doubled the medication today.  But it appeared that the very lowest possible dose was not going to work very well for me, so now I'm on one capsule morning and night - and we'll just have to wait and see.

The medication is, as far as I can remember, the most expensive one that I've tried - yet.  However, none of the rest were working, and this new one isn't a nerve blocker, so hopefully it will come with a different set of adverse effects.  Time will tell.

Over the weekend I beamed the warp, then started threading, alternating with pressing.  I'm trying to not stress my body too much while I wait to see how it reacts to the new medication.  

My handwork has been slowed way down due to the joint pain, but that finally seems to be easing.  So perhaps the new drug won't cause muscle/joint pain?  (Pretty please????)  But even there I've managed to hem one towel (most) nights.  So the last one will get done tonight, just in time to bring the new 'teal' ones up.

Now that I'm beginning to feel a bit better and my hands don't ache so much, I need to sort through the samples for the article I'm working on.  I did open a file last week and wrote some introductory text.  Now to go through what I did, exactly, and what resulted.  And where someone may want to go to learn more.  Time to wrap this one up.   Because I've agreed to write another article.  :)  That one will be more 'play' than focused look on a topic much much larger than reasonable for a magazine.  Pretty sure I will exceed my word count.  Again.  Fortunately the editor doesn't seem to mind.  :D  And there is no reason why most the aspects of weaving can't be broken down into smaller bites to chew through.

Speaking of which, I still haven't really gotten into Michelle Boyd's book Twist.  I've paged through, and dipped in here and there, but frankly the past few months have been pretty crappy and I just haven't felt like I had the mental wherewithal to really dig deep.  If I can get my sleep sorted out, maybe that will change soon.  In the meantime, I know it's there, I know there's great info in it, I just need to wait until my brain is functioning 'better'.

It is 6 months ago since I woke up in the hospital in Vancouver.  I'm 1/4 through what everyone tells me will be a 24 month recovery period.  And then, whatever I have managed to get back of what I 'lost' in an injured brain, is what I will have to work/live with.

On the other hand, I confess to beginning to feel rather like a cat, watching their 'nine lives' falling into the abyss.  Do I have 9 lives?  I seem to have used up rather more than the one that humans are granted.