Helping Hands

Many hands make light work.  This was something my mother believed in and throughout my childhood I watched her in action, helping others.

I saw through her example that helping friends and neighbours was a good thing to do.  And goodness knows, we all need help at some time in our lives.

This morning I saw my doctor for a routine prescription renewal.  I'd been having fairly high levels of stress, what with The Book, editor arriving on Wednesday, the house - but more importantly the studio - a mess, then the AVL compu-dobby breaking yesterday.

I am not shy about posting on this blog about my anxieties and I have to tell you all - the messages of support, both public and private - have really helped me stumble through the last little while.

At any rate, when we discussed the new blood pressure medication he'd added in response to bp numbers that had suddenly gotten way too high (likely an adverse reaction to the Ibrutinib - a well known and documented adverse effect), he was somewhat astonished that such a low dose was being so effective.  As I got up to leave, he called me a 'strong woman'.

I don't know how 'strong' I am.  I am stubborn.  And maybe that's just one facet of being 'strong'?

Strength is a funny thing.  Usually when we refer to someone being 'strong' it is physical strength.  But there is also emotional strength.  There is strength of character - doing what is 'right'.

We - as human beings - also have the strength of our relationships.  We are all interconnected.  And when someone is being dragged down by Life Happening, our friends/family can lend us the strength to pull ourselves back up again.

And so it has been throughout the past few years.  I have been helped, over and over, by words of encouragement and actual physical assistance.  The friends who have been the beta readers for The Book, giving the gift of their time and opinion as well as their encouragement to carry on.

We are not an island unto ourselves.  We are part of community.  That community can give us assistance when times are tough.

We are our brother's keepers.  It costs us nothing to be kind.  To help.

To all those who have helped me, a most grateful thank you.

Currently reading A Bigger Table; building messy, authentic, and hopeful spiritual community by John Pavlovitz

Too Clever...

...for my own good?




As mentioned previously, when things are going (mostly) right, I get a chance to think.  And since I'm thinking about Bronson Lace and all the ways one can weave it, it suddenly occurred to me that, with the loom set up the way it is, I could actually weave a sample with the hearts aligned in this fashion. 

Now I couldn't do it loom controlled, completely.  Just the top and bottom rows would be loom controlled.  But I could - if I were so inclined - weave the sideways hearts in pick up, and make a cloth that had a border of hearts all the way round it.

But I won't because I'm running out of time before my editor comes. 

Nice to know that my thought really would work, though.

Over Thinking

Bronson Lace framed heart motif

With such a complex project, the tendency to over think takes on new and over whelming dimensions.

In my desire to share All The Things, I have tried to think of All The Things I want to share.  At some point, it is necessary to say...enough.

No one person will ever write The Definitive Book on weaving.  The craft is simply too large.  Others have done fantastic jobs of looking at the craft through a wide lens.  It was never my intention to write The Compleat Book of Weaving, just to share some of the tips and tricks that I've learned over the years.  I wanted to address the principles - the whys of things - which are too frequently not addressed in so many books.  (And yes, I have read a great deal of the literature available out there!)

I no longer buy 'beginning' type books so I can't say I have read every single book currently available.  But I do teach a lot.  I do participate in on line groups (less now than in previous years - one only has so much time/energy.)  I see a lot of people flailing around, trying to figure out why things are such a mess.  So difficult.

On this blog I have tried to explain that weaving does not have to be difficult.  Challenging, yes.  Fraught with tangles and messes?  No.

So, once again I am trying to cover All The Bases as I wrap up the samples for The Book.  And realizing that I do not have to be All The Things to All The People, All of the Time.

This week I made the decision that I do not have to have actual projects for All of the Things.  I can mine my extensive sample collections and just have photos of the weave structures.  Because at some point readers - if they are not already - will have to take the designing reins into their own hands.  Or not, as they choose.  But there are also lots of places to get instructions for actual projects. 

I do not have to do it all (even though I'm not because friends are contributing some of them).

And that is the taste of freedom from over thinking.

Hubris

In the Concise Oxford Dictionary, hubris is defined as "Insolent pride or presumption".

I think of that often as I struggle to complete The Book.

I also think about all the authors out there who have also had the hubris to think someone - anyone - is interested in what they have to write.  Truth be told, many authors don't find a publisher, and even if they do, don't necessarily sell very many copies.

So, why do it then?

Honestly?  I really don't know.

Except...enough students have told me that not only do I have techniques they want to learn, they say I can communicate them well enough that they can understand them.

But still.  It takes a great deal of effort, time and, yes, money, to publish a book.  For this one I am self-publishing, partly because I don't think there will be sufficient readership (purchases) for a 'regular' publisher to take it on.

I had 1000 copies of Magic printed; I made 900 copies with 20, then 22 actual fabric samples.  There isn't a publisher in the world who would have done what I felt needed to be done to really illustrate what wet finishing was, and how to do it, including actual cloth, for a price anyone would be able or willing to pay.  I'd worked in a library, I'd worked in the copy centre of a school, I had published newsletters, and I had a really good idea of just how much work was involved in bringing such a publication into reality.

Nearly two decades have gone by since I spent the better part of four years on the initial work of Magic (plus all the years that followed, marketing it).  I'm now on year five of this book, partly because I kept giving up and shelving it for chunks of time while I dealt with health issues.  I'm now beginning year six - and so close to being 'done' (as far as my input goes) I can taste it.

On the other hand, while part of me thinks I have something of value to contribute to the weaving community, the business person part of me keeps questioning whether or not I'll actually make any money at it.  I have already invested several thousand dollars plus all my time, with more to come as I pay an editor to polish the manuscript and make it look as appealing as it can.  Because in this day and age, Gestetner copies are not sufficient - books also have to have eye appeal as well as good information.

At this point I have invested so much into this project that it is no longer a matter of hubris, but wanting to at least recoup the finances that I've spent on it.  If it goes beyond that?  I will be relieved.  But I have also reached a point where the doubt, the not knowing, has become a huge hurdle.  I need to carry on because I've come too far to stop.

Vision

Is it possible for eyes to breathe a sigh of relief?  It felt like mine did when I put my new glasses on!

I have been feeling so tired that I've been trying to rule out the things that cause 'tired' and I was reminded my glasses were two years old.  Usually that means I need a new prescription, and sure enough, I did.

Hopefully the new glasses with their less 'severe' looking frames will help me see that things are looking up. 

It also looks like I could use a hair cut, but my hair dresser is out of town, so I will just have to make do, with my do.

Vision can also be internal.  Having the vision required to design something - like textiles, for instance.  Or a conference.  Or a book.

As I wove a book project yesterday I realized that once again I was 'cheating' - and quite consciously so!  So I messaged my editor and we agreed that I should leave the warp on the loom to take photos to include with the instructions for the project.

The other loom also has a warp that will be used to illustrate a technique, which means that once those two are woven to the point where they need to be for the photos, I will turn my attention to the AVL.  On which is another warp which could also be utilized for the book.

There are two more book projects being woven by friends, plus my editor and I will 'mine' my sample collections for other textiles that could be used.  Which means that these three warps will pretty much be the last weaving I will do for The Book.

And once again, a sigh of relief happens.

This morning I also met with one of the conference committee and we reviewed the entry forms for the various conference events.  And the registration website.  I am almost at the point of being able to turn a whole whack of conference work over to two of the committee members to follow up on. 

Another sigh.

I long ago realized that no one person has to do All The Things.  I am so grateful for willing helpers who shoulder some of the load on these big projects I envision!  I am really looking forward to completing The Book, The Conference.  And being able to focus on envisioning textiles.  And maybe helping others see how to visualize their own.

Currently reading A Taste for Vengeance by Martin Walker

Flexible

One thing I have learned in my life is to be flexible.

The count down is on.  My editor arrives on Aug 1.  I need as many book projects completed as I can possibly get done before she gets here.  Well - that's my arbitrary goal.  Because I need goals.  I need deadlines.  If I don't have them, nothing gets done.  Because there are always distractions.  Books, mostly, but...

So I got the Take Two warp into the loom yesterday and started weaving that project this morning.  And then realized that I wanted to do something for which I had insufficient treadle ties for.  Except!  I had ordered more and they are actually en route!

Rather than try to cobble something together I switched my plans and started on the next project in the queue.  That one only requires four shafts and I have an 'empty' four shaft loom handy.  Win!

I also had yarn on hand so I'm working from the stash.  Win-Win!

The warp is for scarves and I've wound enough warp to make two.  One can be used as a gift for a friend that loves red and black.  Because why not?

With my goal of semi-retirement, the focus of my weaving will be shifting.  I don't yet know how, or what direction I will go, but production for craft fairs is going to take up less and less of my time and energy in a few years.  So gifts for friends will likely be more common.

But right now?  Getting the book projects done is top of my to-be-done list.

It's Just String

Allen Fannin used to remind people that what weavers do is make someone else's 'raw' materials.  As weavers we are just another stepping stone in the production chain of getting raw fibre into something useful.

If you are hand weaving, you are automatically making 'slow' cloth.  The biggest investment in hand woven cloth is the labour that goes into getting it from the animal's back, or the plant, processed into yarn, then from yarn into cloth, then from cloth into...whatever it is meant to be.

I remind myself of this by saying "it's just string".  Especially when I - who am not yet and never will be, perfect - have another oopsie.  Like I did yesterday.

The clock is ticking down on getting the book projects done, so yesterday I decided that my first priority was to deal with the next one.  One of my favourite weave structures - Bronson Lace - was ready to go.  I'd wound the warp on Friday and beamed it - all that was left was to thread the (narrow/short) warp, sley, tie on and start weaving.  Piece of cake.  Right?

Wrong.

The yarn I'm using is a new-to-me 2/10 unmercerized cotton from Ashford.  I'm using a borrowed loom which has a square rod to tie onto.  The yarn, which is slipperier than Brassard's unmercerized cotton didn't want to hold its knots on the square bar.  Decided to cut off and lash on.

I was very tired from not having slept much the night before and - without checking the warp beam to see where the warp packing was - because on my Leclerc the warp packing pretty much unloads without my having to check on it - the borrowed loom has a different configuration and the warp packing tends to pile up for a while before coming far enough over the warp beam to drop by itself - anyhoo - I grabbed the scissors and snip-snip-snip and the warp slithered out of the reed and heddles to dangle from the warp beam.  Sans cross.

At that point I took a break, had a snack, then removed the $5 worth of warp from the loom and tossed it into the recycle bin.

I could have 'saved' it.  But the aggravation level of dealing with a warp that no longer had a cross outweighed the cost of the yarn.  There is plenty more - the warp weighed about 80 grams.  There was lots left on the cones.  Another warp was wound and rough sleyed.

I came to weaving with an awareness that life is uncertain, that time - whatever time we may have - is precious and not to be 'wasted'.  I'm also not a patient person.  Even though I am very efficient when it comes to weaving, there are still things that I'd rather not do.  And spending an hour to salvage $5 worth of yarn is not one of them.  Even though it will take an hour to wind a new warp and get it beamed, I'd rather spend my hour starting anew than fussing with saving a warp that just isn't - in my life/studio - worth it.

At long time ago I came to the conclusion that I can always make more money to buy more 'string'.  Once the coin of my time has been spent?  There is no getting more, by hook or by crook.

But each of us has to decide - do I spend my time doing this?  Or that?