Unpopular Opinions

 

The Prime Minister announced that one of the new budget initiatives would be 'investment in AI training'.

Well, the country will not need to spend any money on me because I won't use it.  Period.  The books pictured above were all written by me, long before AI or LLM were sparkles in anyone's eye.  I will continue to generate content out of my knowledge and skill pertaining to a rather complex craft that has multiple layers of information.  As far as I am concerned, there is NO room for AI in the field of weaving.  At least for the understanding of the principles of the craft, and understanding the marriage of the weaver, their body, their loom and the yarn they choose to work with.  There may be other tasks they could do well enough but I don't need those services, so...

Then this morning I answered a fairly simple/basic question on a chat group and a Reply Guy responded rather rudely.  He demanded to know what had 'informed' that answer.  I told him my 50 years of weaving while paying attention to the results.

As regular readers of this blog are well aware, I have been struggling for years with health issues that are adversely affecting my ability to weave, and every trip to the loom is part therapy as well as an exercise in discovering more about the craft - how threads interact with each other, in the loom, and during wet finishing.

Plus the current events lately, and the scorn in his 'reply' was not going to be ignored.  Not today, Reply Guy.  Not on this day.

I rarely respond to Reply Guys, but today I did.  Do I regret it?  Maybe.  But not at the minute.  I'm tired of Reply Guys telling me I know nothing.  It happens less now as I've limited my participation on public chat groups.  Perhaps I ought to have introduced myself when I joined the group.  But the people who know me, know me, and I thought that my answers (when I made them) would at least introduce me (and my knowledge) to the newer weavers and let them know that I had knowledge that they might consider.

It is no secret to me that I do NOT have 'all the answers'.  But I have a broad base of experience in designing and weaving a large range of qualities of cloth.  I can usually make an informed guess.  If I can't, I won't reply and let someone else respond.  

But weaving is as deep as it is wide.  OTOH, there are quite literally dozens of books that will present information on various facets of the craft.  And now the attitude is to ask the the 'secret', the magic potion to make 'perfect' cloth on their 3rd warp.

There are a lucky few who come to the craft with excellent fine motor skills, and a knowledge of working with textiles so they do have some experience working with thread.  But every new weaver's question(s) are generally found between the covers of multiple books.

Some are 'historical' (as in written in the 19th and 20th century with a few more in this), but the principles remain the same.  The language may seem 'stilted', the photos may be grainy black and white, authors may differ in minor ways.  But essentially the principles remain the same up to even this very day.

One of the founding principles to any 'practice' of weaving is weave the samples you need to find out what is going to happen.  Don't take my word for it.  I can point you in a direction.  And then you have to figure out where it is you actually want to wind up.  And you do *that* by setting up the loom, with the yarn you intend to use, in the colour(s) you want to use, weave the sample and wet finish it.

If it doesn't turn out the way you want, back to the drawing board, figure out what needs to change to bring you closer to your goal.

Seems like today is another day to post the links to my personal set of resources...

Classes

School of Sweet Georgia (four classes)

Long Tthread Media (Handwoven)

Books

All 3 above available at blurb.com with a fourth available in my ko-fi shop - A Thread Runs Through It - pdf download only

Working Out The Code

 

This is a weaving draft for a four shaft loom with six treadles.  This is the way that I prefer to set up a simple twill progression, and my preferred tie up to weave plain weave and/or a typical 2:2 twill.

New weavers can get confused about what they are looking at.  Some discover 'a' draft and assume is it the only way to write that particular thread sequence (both warp *and* weft) when in reality it is just one graphic representation that depicts one way it can be done.

Why do I do it this way?  For me it is more ergonomic to thread from the back shaft to the front, starting at the right hand side and moving to the left.  I am right handed.  If you are not, you may well find it more ergonomic to work from the left to the right.

I have a four shaft counter balanced loom but it doesn't matter.  Whether I am using a rising shed or not, I still set up my tie up as shown above.  If the weave structure is balanced (equal number of shafts rising/falling) it truly does not matter.  

In fact, when I'm weaving on my 'big' loom (16 shaft Megado), I will frequently set up my warps as *unbalanced* (unequal shafts lifting/falling) so that I lift the fewest shafts possible - which means I will be weaving my cloth 'upside down' in some cases.  It doesn't matter (usually), and the savings on my physical effort is much appreciated by my body.

Newer weavers would do well to understand the language of weaving, especially the 'codes'.  The graphics.  The way we can convey information in graphics, or explanations.  Weaving can seem overwhelming, mysterious, the information draped in words that don't make sense, or drawings/graphics that confuse.

But you CAN learn.  There are books.  Lots of books (including my own) that will explain what is going on.  If you have a book with lots of drafts in it, *read the beginning pages*.  The introduction is generally where an author will explain the codes - the 'keys' for reading the graphics.

Since the advent of computers, weaving drafts now look very similar to the one I've given above - the horizontal lines across the top refer to the sequence of the threads.  The little box (4x6) show the tie up being recommended.  The long columns down the right hand side show the sequence of treadles to be used - I've given *one* repeat of plain weave and *one* repeat of a 2:2 twill.  And the rest is the graphic representation of how the cloth will look when it is woven.  The twill line will move in one direction or the other but if you don't see the structure the way you expect, look at the other side of the cloth.

My books are available as usual here

They are available in PDF download or print.  They are printed in the US so there is no tariff for USians.  People in other countries may wish to purchase the PDF (which is also cheaper - just saying).

Tugging At Threads

The Intentional Weaver

Talking to someone the other day who was feeling overwhelmed about how much there is to learn.  I suggested that they try to find the end of the thread and then follow it, wherever it led.

We all learn in our own ways, following our interests.  With a craft such as weaving, the journey is long (if you want) and can lead you down myriad paths.  The abundance of books, magazines, classes (in person and online) gives plenty of opportunity to discover more than you might have expected when you set out on this journey of discovery.

OTOH, it was what initially attracted me - I could see that I was standing, not by a small pool, but the shores of a great ocean.  

Someone tried to 'school' me yesterday by 'correcting' what I said (or what she *thought* I said) citing her 30 plus years of weaving.  I scrolled on by, tempted to see her 30 years and raise my 50...

Some people read *a* book and assume that they now know all that they need or want to know.  And there is no need for every weaver to know everything there is to know.  Point of fact, it's impossible.  

Sure I have made rugs.  But I'm not a rug weaving expert.  I've done art pieces, but I don't consider myself a textile 'artist'.  I've woven with many different fibres in many different formats - but not all of them. 

The fact is, I'm not terribly interested in weaving more rugs.  They are physically hard on a body and mine is loudly letting me know it is not willing to do that anymore.  But do I know the principles of making a good rug?  Sure.  I've even made some.

I've woven window coverings, bespoke garments, fashion accessories, and literally tons of table textiles.

I want to add some 'beauty' to everyday life.  It's a tried and true approach to life evidenced by archeological finds - functional things made beautiful when it took buckets of time and effort to spend the extra time making them  beautiful.

This morning I got a nice email from a former Olds student and I encouraged them to find a new path to follow to continue learning.  Weaving is largely a solitary activity for most of us.  But we have the internet.  We have study groups.  Online communities.  Classes.  Workshops  Goodness knows, I've posted my links here often enough I feel stupid repeating them.  I'm not hard to find, goodness knows.

In the meantime, I continue to deal with my aging body, best I can.  For now I need to bear down and continue with the program.  I'm just not a very patient person, so waiting is never done 'patiently' but with much grinding and gnashing of teeth.

Today we have sun, though.  And I have a couple of maintenance appointments.  And that warp to thread, if I can.

If you need me, I'll be tugging at threads...

Ancient Does Not Equal 'Primitive'

 

one of my books (available here)

It's really nice to see the influx of 'new' weavers into the online groups.  It's just really difficult to give meaningful answers to questions when they have little knowledge of the craft or its language.  It is equally difficult to give answers that won't offend the new weaver - and the last thing I want to do is discourage anyone, especially when they want to know the answers.

Unfortunately, like so many other things about life, the only accurate short answer is 'it depends'.

I just had that experience with one doctor, and yesterday with the pharmacist, as - once again - my body is not 'simple' but full of 'variables'.  The conversation with the pharmacist was encouraging insofar as the recent testing revealed some potential things we can try to 'fix' - and guess what?  More questions!

So today I will phone my doctor's office and request a full panel examination of my thyroid function.

I need more coffee, first.

(Just posted to Bluesky that this morning spouse made the pot of coffee with the extra sarcasm blend and filled the sugar bowl with swear words, so it's not *my* fault...)

Yesterday I declared the warp done (I hate playing yarn chicken) and, after inspecting and repairing the tea towels from that warp, starting setting up for the next warp.  I even managed to get 8 sections beamed, which was a decent start and means that I should be able to finish beaming today and begin threading.  

Anyway, regarding the title of this post...

I saw another post about an ancient artifact that dates to 2000+ years ago.  The photo showed a stunning example of hand blown glass that some people would whiff away because 'everyone knows our ancient ancestors were 'primitive'.   Yeah, about that.  They may not have had the level of 'technology' that we have, it's true.  What they had was some extremely specialized knowledge and a great deal of skill.  To minimize and declare that it was done by 'aliens' is to diminish our own capabilities of creative creatures who studied, and learned, until they achieved incredible levels of skill.

And it all begins with that first tentative step on the road to learning.  And that's why I try not to offend when I offer suggestions.  Because the people who are asking the questions are *trying* to learn.  The problem comes when they expect *specific* answers, and 'it depends' is not what they want to hear!

To that end, I tried to collect the 'basic' information that I would have loved to be able to learn from when I was just starting out.  But the craft is nuanced.  Layered.  Not simple.  

But!  It *can* be learned, if the students keep an open mind and begin to understand the complexity of the craft.  And to understand that this IS a skill, and it needs to be practiced in a mindful, analytical way.  To accept 'failure' - or at least understand that not meeting one's expectations is to be expected, and that each time you try, you get a little closer to your goal.  And, that as you learn, your expectations may change.

For me, it's a 'failing' body that I need to accommodate.  That fall I took last August was a watershed event (won't call it a 'moment' because I am living with an injured brain - this has turned into far more than a 'moment'!) and I have had to adjust my expectations accordingly.

I am much less 'critical' of myself when I make mistake.  But every warp I do, I notice that I am 'regaining' some of what I 'lost'.

Best of all, through the vehicle of the articles in WEFT I have been able to use my writing as part of my 'therapy'.  And hoping that I can make my body more 'comfortable' I continue to try, and not beat myself up when I have 'mistakes' in my cloth.  I'm making tea towels.  They will still dry dishes...

Just because I have a fancy schmancy loom doesn't mean that I don't make mistakes!  But Life truly *is* a journey.  Sometimes some of the stops along the way aren't very nice, but it is *my* journey.  And since I'm still here, apparently I need to keep going.  If not for WEFT, then for here, if nothing else?

Onwards...

Little Pieces of Done, part II

 

how it started

how it's going

The 'how it started' photo isn't really accurate because it 'started' long before I got to that stage of creating a bibliography.

This book was the one I didn't want to write.  Actually I swore I would never write another book after I finished producing Magic in the Water.

And yet.  

And yet.

I was teaching and more and more I was focusing on issues of ergonomics and efficiency and understanding the principles of the craft.  Not to tell people what to do but to show them that what they did would produce certain results.  And if they wanted different results, perhaps they needed to change what they were doing.  And what they needed to do was affected by things like physics and anatomy.

If it hadn't been for a student who asked for a recommendation of a book for the techniques I had demonstrated for a class I was teaching, I probably would never have written the book at all.  Because I knew how challenging it would be to try and put into words phenomenon that in many cases needed to be demonstrated.

I had done the video for Interweave Press and thought that would be the end of it, but...a video can only show so much.  And what needed to be shared went far beyond just the demonstrations of posture, position and shuttle handling.  Because the craft is more than 'just' the physical activity - as important as that is.

If a person is going to master the craft, they need to be open and receptive to analyzing their results, and then changing what they are doing to meet the needs of their equipment, materials and skill.  And sometimes we get set in our way of thinking and need a nudge.

So I began.

And then life happened.  Repeatedly.  And I kept putting the effort on the back burner, vowing I was going to cut my 'losses' (loss of time, energy and brain power already invested) and let the manuscript 'die'.

Until something would happen and I would open the Word file and peck away at the keyboard again.

But truly, I did not want to write this book!

Over and over again, I was shown that it was necessary, and I kept at it.  For the best part of five years.

Until I realized I had done the best I could do and really needed professional guidance, so I contacted someone I knew who does technical editing and asked how much they would charge to help me complete the task of bringing this book, the one I didn't want to write, into final form.  From the time I contacted her until publication date was about 14 months.  During the writing of the manuscript my mother became sick (again - she'd been having health issues for 5 years) and died, and I was chairing a conference committee as well as travelling to teach and production weaving.

And I was having my own health issues.

If it hadn't been for Ruth Temple and her encouragement, support and keen editing eye, this book would have never seen light of day.

So when Facebook showed me the 'memory' from this day 4 years ago, it all came flooding back - all the little pieces of 'done' that got this book 'born' and into the wild.  

If you think the book is of value, you could review it for your guild.  I don't sell on Amazon, but there are other sites, like Good Reads where it could also be posted.  And you can buy it from blurb or if you want a signed copy, I left 15 signed copies at Sweet Georgia Yarns.  And if you want to learn from me, my classes on School of Sweet Georgia continue with two more in post production AND my lectures every two months, plus feedback and questions answered on the forums.

The greatest gift you can give an author is a good review posted somewhere.

Saying Yes

 

When I became a weaver, it was because I said 'yes' to something that was so far fetched, so anachronistic, that any other person would have automatically said 'no'.

A handweaver?  In the 20th century?  Come on!  Seriously?  

But I said 'yes'.  

When I changed my life so dramatically, I had little inkling of where that simple acceptance of something the universe was nudging me towards would bring into my life.

Initially I thought I would production weave for 25 years, then teach for 25 years.  That would bring me to 75 - if I made it that far.  Family history indicated that I might not, genetics being what they are.  Plus that seemed like a long time away. 

Any yet, here I am, nearing that particular milestone.

In any event, I started teaching the same month as I began weaving class, so instead of 25/25, it has been nearly 50 years of doing both, juggling both.  They were actually complementary because one was seasonal, so the other could be as well.  I was in charge of booking teaching dates, so I booked during the weaving 'down' time.

Was I afraid?  Yes, actually I was.  Because I didn't know if I could do it.  I didn't know if I could earn enough money by doing it.  I didn't know if I had the skills.  

As I plunged in, I began to see where I was lacking in knowledge and set about filling those holes in my knowledge.

I had some background to build on.  I had determination.  I had stubbornness.  

I knew enough to be 'dangerous' as they say!  But I also was willing to admit I didn't know and ask for help.  It's quite amazing how helpful people can be when you go to them and say, can you help me understand this thing?

Sometimes I went to get professional help - ie taxes.  Teaching.  Marketing.  The local printer who did the print job on Magic.  Video production.  Yes, I could learn how to take/edit video, but I didn't want to.  I just wanted to get the information out there.  Having taken a video class, I knew enough to know that I just didn't want to spend my time learning how to do all that well, so I pitched the idea to Interweave Press and in the end they agreed to send a crew here so we could use my facilities, my tools.  Having taught a lot, developed lesson plans, knowing basically how video works I could prepare my materials, my space and a timeline for taping that was out of sequence in terms of the process but made better sense in terms of taping the processes.  More...efficient.  In the end we accomplished two DVDs in three days.  The camera person said he didn't actually think it could be done but I had done my preparation well.  I took that as a high complement.

Now here we are in a pandemic where everything has slowed and in many cases stopped altogether.  But!  We have the internet.  (I know, not all.)  We not only have the internet but a number of platforms that make doing on-line events a possibility.  While on-line can never replace in person, it is at least something.

So I said 'yes' and started exploring that aspect of continuing to teach.

As I re-do my teaching approach and materials, I find myself digging ever deeper into the craft.  I decided to not teach technique as much as the underlying principles.  Yesterday I said that a) I don't know everything and b) there are no definitive answers but that I would help understand the variables and then?   They would have to choose the appropriate way for them to go on.  

Because change one thing and everything can change.

I have also learned when to say 'no'.  I have learned where my boundaries are.  What I am willing to do, and what I am not.  I am, however, open to suggestion.  So as the Zoom meetings continue, I continue to learn how to make the on-line experience better - for myself, and hopefully for others.

Old dogs can learn new tricks.  It may just take us longer.

Brain Dump

 

diagram from The Intentional Weaver

When I launched The Intentional Weaver, a few people said they would like a 'brain dump' of my thoughts and processes.

Um, no, no one wants *that*!

I came up with the above diagram to try and explain how my thoughts constantly zip from one bubble to the next, always going through the centre filter of intended cloth.  

What kind of cloth am I trying to make and how will the changes I made in one bubble or the other affect the finished cloth?  Each change will tweak the final results, but in a way I want it to, or not?

But I had done my best to lay out the content of each of those bubbles in as orderly a fashion as I could.

Now I am dealing with putting together Zoom presentations, largely using Power Point.

Doing a slide deck of static images, snippets of text, trying to link them up coherently in a process that is dynamic?  Yeah.  Challenging.

But I figured I could do it for my former students in part because they had already had in person thought process sharing, were used to my 'voice', my way of speaking, my approach to teaching.

As I got further into the process, I realized that I could also do this for people who did not have that relationship with me.  And so I opened a study group. When that filled, I started another.  All will have the same Power Point presentations, but I'm quite sure each will differ based on my thoughts du jour and the questions that are asked.  

I didn't want people to blithely join a study group or enter part way through, so I chose to make the groups 'hidden' on Facebook.  The recordings of the Zoom meetings get posted to You Tube, unlisted.  That means no one can find the group or the videos using a simple search.  They have to be a member of the group on FB, then the link to the recording is only posted in the group.

So far I've done two presentations for my previous students.  Late last night I checked views for each.  The first one has 49 views, the second has 36.  Now, obviously I'm not interested in getting thousands of views, but in a group of 60, that many views tells me that my decision to take the time to post the recordings is something that is adding value to the experience.

Now if you ask 10 weavers what the solution to something weaving related is, you'll likely get 27 answers.  Because the correct answer will depend on the particular circumstance.

So I urge everyone who wants to 'master' the craft of weaving to learn as much as they possibly can from as many different teachers they can.

In the meantime, I have to go get ready to Zoom again in 90 minutes.  That means getting the laptop ready, logged on to the internet and Zoom.  Set up the space where I do the presentations.  Gather the things I want to show/share.

I will dump as much of my brain as I can on the subject of our 'common' materials in 90 minutes.  Listeners will have to sift through the results to find out what they need to pay attention to.  And then they can review at a later date to pick up more.  Because we can only absorb so much information before our brains tend to shut off further input while it processes the first bit.

There is still space in the Saturday group if anyone is interested.  First Zoom is next Saturday if you want to join in.  

I Had A Plan

 

As I get deeper into teaching on line I am reminded of the above diagram - what I *think* my plan will be and how it *actually* is.

There is a theme meme going around the internet that shows two images - one with 'how it started', the other with 'how it's going'.  

I am in the midst of the 'how it's going' part.

Teaching isn't just opening one's mouth and letting words fall out.  

(Well, it can be, but generally that's not the best way to teach a group.)

So.  

Every teacher has a lesson plan.  We spend quite a lot of time, usually, coming up with The Plan.  If the knowledge we want to convey is extensive or deep, it may take a number of sessions to set it all out in a way that makes some kind of logical sense.  At least to the teacher.

And that sense is pretty highly tuned after years (decades?) of presenting various aspects of the information, in various formats, for various groups, within different lengths of time.

(For example, my Zoom presentations are intended to be 60 minutes, usually go to closer to 90.  Today someone asked if I could do one of my Zoom presentations in 30?)

If anyone thinks that a teacher just blithely says to themselves, oh, I'll teach that, then starts a Zoom meeting (or walks into a guild room) and just wings it?  Rare.  Very, very rare.

So, length of time.  Given the time limit, a teacher has to consider which points they will make.  What do they need for examples to illustrate those points?  Do they need to incorporate demos?  How will they do that?  What equipment will they need to hand, especially if they are on a tour, doing multiple topics in multiple locations?

For a Zoom, how many cameras (views) are available?  One?  How to make the most of it?

For a longer presentation, what gets added in?  If the program runs long, what can be left out?  Questions from the audience will also direct what gets covered.  Sometimes the tangents are the most interesting bits of any presentation.  And sometimes tangents knock some of the prepared material out of the presentation.  Because time limits exist.

After years of teaching in person, I am well practiced at my information delivery.  I have built on that experience as I pivot to on line presentations.  Doesn't mean I just pick up the mic and start talking.

Now I have to consider how being on camera affects what I can do.  What I can show, how I show it.  The viewpoint is close in, close up.  No large physical demos of body mechanics.  So, photos then.  Videos, maybe.  

Power Point presentations are my friend at the moment.  I've gotten pretty good at generating them.  Setting out what I want to cover, the steps I will take to get from one point to the next.  But it takes time. And mental concentration, which is tiring.  And communication via the written word plus photos still needs to be clear.  Being able to show the slide and expand on the concept is useful.  But when I'm talking, people can't always be reading.  So just having the live presentation isn't ideal.

But Zoom allows for recording the live meeting.  So then depth can be added because I'm not just relying on the actual slides.  I can add commentary, knowing that people will be able to link to the video to review and even pause it to read the slide content.  Or if they can't make the live presentation, they can still get the recorded version.

Good, good, all that sounds good.  Except now I needed to purchase the program, learn how to operate Zoom.  How to generate a meeting.  Share the link.  Record the meeting.  Process the video, upload to You Tube.

Surprisingly, that part is going relatively well, given that Zoom has built basic functionality into their platform.  For which this 'old dog' will be eternally grateful.

It still takes time, and I still make mistakes, need to do 'do overs'.  And while I'm processing the video, I choose to not weave because I'm doing it all on the laptop that runs the Megado.  I thought I could do other stuff, but mostly I pace the studio, fretting in case anything goes wrong and I damage or lose the file.  Chew nails until it's finally done and posted.

And then - how to run the groups?  I know FB is 'evil incarnate'.  But it has a level of functionality that I can use without too much extra effort to learn how to do it.  So, Facebook it is.  

Have you noticed we haven't gotten to the actual Zoom meeting yet?

Teaching is so much more than what you see happening in front of you.  

Essentially, my philosophy is that a good teacher will show you where to look, not what to see.  My intent is to show how the principles of the craft work, letting students choose to use - or ignore - them as they find appropriate.  I don't hover in real life and I will sometimes ask questions, not because I don't know the answer but because when you don't know *what* you don't know, you don't know *that* you don't know it.  So I ask the question to spur people to think about the question because having the question is the first step in figuring out what the answer might be.

When I wrote Magic in the Water, I wanted people to understand the principles of wet finishing.  That was a large chunk of weaving knowledge that wasn't being shared widely.  It was fairly simple in terms of planning because it was just one slice of the craft.

The Intentional Weaver was much broader and deeper in scope.  I tried to distill the important bits.  Now, I'm taking slices, in much the same was as I did for Magic, and peeling more layers back, hopefully in a way that makes sense to people.

Will I succeed?  Who knows.  That will not be for me to judge.  All I can do is try to convey the information and let others do what they will with it.

Currently reading Battle Ground by Jim Butcher

Details, Details

 

various aspects of cloth construction - diagram from The Intentional Weaver

As I go through my resources, scrape together my thoughts, generate the slides for the Power Point (PP in future) presentations for the study groups, I am reminded over and over how much fine detail there is in weaving.  Or any hand craft/technology, for that matter.

(I kind of get exasperated with modern day writers who loudly bleat that our ancestors didn't have 'technology'.  Yes, they did.  It just doesn't meet 21st century assumptions about what technology is.)

In terms of weaving, human beings have been playing with string and sticks for a very long time.  One article I read recently is pushing that to around 40,000 years ago now.  

That very first stick?  That - *that* - was technology.  It was a tool, and it required skill to use it.

Since then the technology has been refined, changed, re-invented.  And the production of string/cloth has also been refined, changed, re-invented.

Now, making string/cloth by hand is seen mostly as quaint.  When I first started weaving people were perplexed about why I would want to.  I mean I could walk into a store and buy pretty much any kind of cloth I wanted or needed.  Why would I want to make my own?

That, dear readers, is personal to every person who gets a loom and picks up a shuttle (or spindle/wheel).  Interested in my story - check the very beginnings of this blog from 2008.

The realization I'm focusing on right now is how complex, how detailed, how layered, the technology has become over the centuries.  Just comparing the different kinds of looms - and there are lots of them - makes me realize how clever human beings can be.

As a piece of engineering, a countramarche loom is pretty fine, as is a computer assisted loom like the AVL or Megado or any number of other looms I could name.

diagram from Marianne Straub's book

Voila, the 'guts' of a countramarche loom are a wonder to behold.  Sticks and string, all held in a finely tuned balance.

Almost everything there is about weaving is based on a spectrum from beneficial to not beneficial.  I won't say good to bad - bad is a judgement made when something doesn't work out - I've moved too far to either end of the spectrum until it 'failed'.

Each PP is an opportunity to stop, reflect, refine my own thinking about how cloth comes into being.  It is a chance to wonder anew at the complexity that is possible.  And to remind myself of just how little I know in the grand scheme of things.

Stress Fatigue

 

Stress wears on a body.  We have had a year of pandemic stress on top of whatever else we are dealing with and the stress hormones flood our systems.  We are in a constant state of alertness and alarm.  And we get tired.  Fatigued.  

I went through a trough of energy in August and pulled myself out of it by setting up the Sunday Seminar Series.  It was a tonic.  At the same time I continued to work on my health, physical and mental, and felt better, overall, than I had for a while.

Winter arrived and after a long, grey, dreary summer, we entered a long, grey, dreary winter.

In January I started to slump again.  It has been more difficult to maintain a positive attitude, in no small part due to the continuing uncertainty of the pandemic and political situations.  And I started a mentoring group for my students.  

Word got out and I started another group for people outside of the Olds program.  Yesterday I set up a 3rd as the 2nd group became quite large.

Doing the seminar series and the study groups has meant I have had to learn new-to-me technology.  Learning anything new is tiring, mentally.  I had to work out what I was willing to do.  And what I wasn't.  I had to set boundaries and limits on how much time I was going to spend on these programs.

On the physical front, my massage therapist encourages me to continue with the exercises as prescribed and assures me I am making good progress.  And I know that is correct, but I am so far from where I was before the cancer returned in 2017 it feels too big a hill to climb.  I'm so grateful I made the decision to close my business in 2019 or I'd have the additional stress of trying to keep said business afloat.

I tire of posting encouraging things on FB about staying home, wearing a mask, etc.  If people haven't gotten the message by now, they never will.  I grieve for those people losing a loved one, or even their health, dealing with Long Covid.  It could have been so different if we'd just learned from history and the flu pandemic in 1918-19.  And yet, here we are.

I find myself once again in a trough, feeling tired and achy, looking out the window at the grey dreariness that seems to be becoming the norm these days.

There are still many things I would like to do, places to go, people to see.  We have to continue to navigate what is happening now so that we can get to that stage of safely traveling again.

In the meantime I have a warp I really like on the loom.  I've woven with this combination before and am pretty confident that I will really like the results after wet finishing.  I like the colour combination, and more importantly, I am using up stash.  The thicker yarns get used up faster but I'm getting low on combinations that I will find pleasing so am having to really stretch in terms of my choices.

In between sessions at the loom, I continue to work on the Power Point presentations.  I started the study groups with only a vague idea of what I could do but my vision has begun to take more solid form.  And by the end of the year I will have about 12 Power Point presentations that could be used, individually or in combination, for on line guild programs/seminars/mini-workshops.  This should allow me to continue to teach even if I cannot travel in person.

And that is not a bad thing.

In the meantime we continue to stay home as much as possible, wear a mask when we go out, not gather in person.

And rest when the fatigue becomes too great.

Thinking

 

View from the bottom of the loom to show the 'right' side of the cloth

Yesterday was busy.  I had a 'bad' night, didn't sleep well, then slept 'in' so that it was a bit of a scramble to get set up for the next Zoom meeting.  But that seemed to go well enough, given the constraints of on line meetings and I even managed to not go off on too many tangents.  (Well, one or two, but not too far off topic!)

But then it was hours of fiddling with the video trying to remember the steps of getting it processed to the point where I could get it uploaded to You Tube.  Too distracted to actually do anything while the data 'cooked', not wanting to weave because I didn't want to have the data get 'spoiled', I prowled the studio picking at this and that, while the data 'cooked'.

But finally it was done - just in time for dinner.

While I paced, I thought.  There were nearly 20 names on the list for another group (which then thinned out to less, but...) and what the heck, I'm going no where, my days are unencumbered by much, especially on the weekends, why not.

So I've just now set up another study group.  If I have your contact info AND we are friends on Facebook I have sent invites to join the group.  If you are waiting for an invite, check your notifications.  One person I was unable to add, don't know why, will try to work on that later.  The group is hidden from searches, the only way to join is to get an invite.  Once you are in the group, you can send invites to others.  I can take up to 100 in a Zoom meeting so the group will be capped at around 80 or so.  The live event will be recorded, then up loaded to You Tube so if you miss the live event because Life Happened, it will be available later for viewing.  Some people also like to watch it to remind themselves of the content, because it's complex and sometimes it's good to have a refresher.

Bottom line?

If you are interested in an on line study group that discusses the principles of the craft, won't give you hard and fast 'rules' (because there aren't any), but encourages you to think about your own practice, requires no homework to be completed, has no final test?  This group might be for you.

I don't even charge anything but will share my ko-fi link and anyone who wants, and is able, may send me a donation.  My account is set up for 'coffee' as a unit ($3 Canadian - such a bargain!) and people can buy multiples, send a flat amount, or even set up a recurring amount.  If someone can't afford to send anything, they won't get kicked out.  

Members should, however, have a copy of my book as the content is based on that resource.

Anyhoo - if you are interested you can join and if it isn't what you want, leave at any time.

Sunny Day

 

Today is more typical winter weather than we have been having lately.  The temperature, the blue skies.  It finally feels like 'proper' winter weather.

Yesterday I spent much of the day dealing with setting up the second on line 'study' group.  I have enough interest now that I think I will likely set up a third.  I could wait until the first two are done, but that will be about a year from now.  And I think people are feeling anxious, wanting to learn, not able to get to in person classes.  Some have the time now, but may not in a year's time.  So it feels like now is when I should do this thing.

In the meantime, I am also writing the Power Point presentations.  It's been like writing the book, except that really it's a synopsis of the effort that went into the book.  The presentations are allowing me to look at the information in more manageable  chunks.  I'm not writing a book, just the Coles Notes version of the information?  (If anyone remembers Coles Notes - yes, I'm *that* old!)

Part of getting old and having done this craft for as many years as I have done, is that I remember a tonne of stuff.  I even met some of the people we now accept as experts.  Attended seminars, took workshops.  Like Peter Collingwood.  Allen Fannin.  Both now gone.  Others still living have even become colleagues, people I can email and ask questions and get answers.  A privilege I don't take lightly.

As I try to set up these study groups, I remember one of the motivating factors of my doing this - building community.  Modern day hand weavers are thin on the ground.  Those who are interested in the nuts and bolts of the craft, who want to go down the rabbit hole to discover the why of things, who are interested in the craft the way I am are the ones I really want to reach out to.

Pragmatism is a big part of who I am, and I realize that my time is running out for the kind of travelling and effort it took to teach the way I used to do.  It's why I 'retired', after all.  But now, here, suddenly (as it were) I see the possibility of another run at it, via Zoom.  I had to think long and hard about it, but came to realize that the very things I want to share can be done remotely, on line.

We must always stay open to changing times, changing technology, changing the way we think.  Sometimes the sun shines into dark corners and we see things that we had not considered before.

"Success"

 

Mount Robson

So, what is success, anyway?  Is it making pots of money?  Is it achieving public acclaim?  Winning medals or awards? 

How do YOU define 'success'?

For me I wanted to be able to spend my life doing something that held my interest, that I could spend a lifetime learning about, that satisfied me on many levels - intellectual, yes, but also physical.  I was interested in writing, unsure I would be any good at it.  I didn't want to teach in the schools, but found that I was quite happy teaching weaving.

Success meant that I was doing it well enough that I could earn enough money to *keep* doing it.

And I really liked the feeling of helping others.  Not so that they might shower me with gratitude, but that they were also able to enjoy weaving in much the same way I enjoy it.  Happiness around me makes me happier.

I had a Plan about how to reach my Goal.  And frankly, living a life isn't that much different from climbing a mountain.  You set your sights on the peak.  You assess the terrain.  You decide on what you need in order to get up there.  And once you have done all the preparation you can, it is one step at a time.

No I have not climbed to the peak of Mount Robson, but I have climbed to the glacier lake at the base of it.  Which was not exactly an easy journey in itself.  It's not an impossible hike, but it's not insignificant, either.

The pathway to success is much the same.  Set a Goal.  Form a Plan.  Prepare yourself as best you can.  And then go do it.  It may require changing a route.  It may involve more rest stops along the way than anticipated.  But it won't happen without putting one foot in front of the other.

Sometimes you get part way there and decide that wasn't actually what you wanted after all.  And you go another direction entirely (back home to soak your blisters, sometimes).

But every step of the way can be a discovery.  We took our dog with us, and at times it was her sense of wonder and excitement (SQUIRREL!)   (PORCUPINE!)  (RASPBERRIES!) and then her utter exhaustion which meant she would simply lay down and fall sound asleep - and then spring up again to tackle the next leg. 

Both of the trips I made the weather was fine - partially cloudy so that the sun didn't beat down on us, not wet, not even very cold at night.  The views from the higher elevations down into the valleys below were breathtaking.  And even though it was hard physical effort, it felt like standing on top of the world.  What a wonderful world it was.

In many ways I feel the same sense of wonder and awe about weaving.  It's a different scale, of course.  But it has been the same approach:  Goal, Plan, Proceed.  

At times I have had to stop, reassess, change what I was doing.  Take detours.  Build bridges.  Stop going in one direction and choose another.

But I still find myself enjoying the physical aspect of weaving, the intellectual, the ties to the weaving community.  And I still enjoy sharing what I know with anyone who wants to hear it.

Flexibility

 

flowers determined to break through the concrete

Goals and Plans.

Goals are where we want to end up.  Plans are the route map we intend to use to get there.  But sometimes?  Sometimes Plans need to change.

My goal for the past few years has been to use up my stash.  To that end I made plans.  I settled on one of the yarns in my stash and set about using up as much of it as I could.  In November I could see that I was getting close so it was time to think about the Next Step.

When I was done with the 2/16 cotton, what should I do after that?  I had, at the time, intended to set about making scarves, but that would have been using up finer threads, about the same thickness as the 2/16 cotton.  Not a deal breaker.

But as December turned into January, I started looking at my shelves (and shelves, and shelves) of yarn, plus I wanted to see if I could weave on the Leclerc again, and instead of working on a new scarf design, I slammed some place mat warps through the Leclerc.  

I had intended to do 4 warps, but stopped after three.  Because the first warp was ok, the second, mmm, maybe this wasn't such a good idea, the third?  Pushing the boundary of enough and too much.  So I am going to have to move a lot more carefully as I regain my physical fitness and not push as hard as I used to be able to do.  The fact is, I may never regain that level of 'fitness' again.  That doesn't mean I can't do things, just that I have to swallow the bitter pill of realizing that I am dealing with some physical issues and my present body simply does not heal as quickly or completely as my younger body.

Acceptance can be difficult.  But acceptance is also a reality check on what is possible and what needs to be moderated.

And so, flexibility rules the day.

After three place mat warps (heavy beating, hard on my neck, shoulders and that loom is even hard on my hip) I am taking a break from that loom and going back to the Megado which is kinder on my body.

However, instead of doing the planned scarves, I am doing...towels.  Like I need more towels (not!)

My eye caught on the tubes of cotton flake I still had sitting in the store room.  And the 2/8 cotton.  A combination I have used before and quite liked for a heavier, thicker towel, suitable for wiping hands.  I called them kitchen utility towels.  At 20 epi and about the same ppi (need to test that in the header) they will weave up much more quickly than the 2/16 cotton at 32 epi/ppi.  

Each towel will take about 30 minutes to weave, not 50, which will make both my therapists happy since they both say I should be limiting my weaving time to 30 minutes, twice a day.

But also?  I am spending a lot of time right now writing.  No, not another book, Power Point presentations for Zoom meetings.  It is challenging to try to distill segments of the book into a one hour presentation using Power Point.  What do I want to focus on?  What photos/diagrams do I need to present?  Bullet points or full sentences?

Personally all my bullet point lists very quickly evolve into sentences, plus the meetings will be available for review later, so I'm not too bothered about providing more encompassing text.  A video can be paused so that it can be read, which also stops the voice over.  Just another tool in the teacher's and student's toolbox.

My approach is not to attempt to teach a specific skill but to explain the principles.  Not the how, but the why.  As I have been working through the presentations, I am beginning to see them as a 'master' class.

Which may be egotistical, but it is the kind of information I was thirsting after when I set out on this journey.  I picked up nuggets of information here and there.  Every book, every teacher, every workshop and seminar, I learned something useful.  It may not have been what I was expecting, but...

So in the end I determined that these 'master' classes would last for about a year, maybe a little more, maybe a little less.  As I begin to break the info down into manageable chunks, it is becoming clearer to me what my investment in time and energy is going to be and I am able to more clearly see what needs to be done.

Spending a little less time at the loom in order to present this information is not a bad thing.

And none of it would have happened without a pandemic and all in-person learning postponed.

My goals remain the same.  How I get there can change as the circumstances change.  

Re-inventing

 

It seems I am re-inventing myself once more.

It was just 12 months ago that I was in the process of shutting my business down, curtailing my activities, preparing to 'retire'.

And now?

Now I have a calendar full of Zoom meetings.  Like I mean, literally full.  So full I had to go to Zoom yesterday and enter all of them so that I didn't double book myself.

But this is no different from other folk who have retired only to find themselves just as 'busy' - just that now they are busy doing other things than the daily grind.

I cannot say that I am now doing what I want, when I want.  I pretty much always have.  Sort of.  Paying the bills meant I took on work that didn't much appeal to me - except for the money that came in at the end of the job.  I was still weaving, and that was fine by me.

What I am bringing to my life now is a greater understanding of how I have abused my body and finding a better balance of continuing the physical aspects of weaving and the more, shall we say, cerebral?

12 months ago I thought the cerebral aspect would be more experimentation, more intellectual.  But I was (am) faced with a yarn stash that just doesn't seem to quit so I concentrated on weaving that down.  Forgetting how much yardage my stash represented.  It took literally over a year just to weave down the 2/16 cotton.  Granted I'm not weaving at the same pace as before, but still...

As I use up my yarn, other yarn comes to my attention.  So instead of starting on scarves, I am going to see if I can use up the cotton flake.  And some of the 2/8 cotton.  Today I will finish off the place mat warp on the Leclerc, then switch back to the Megado.  While I was able to weave on the Leclerc, I have to be careful when weaving something that needs a hard beat.  My body is telling me three place mat warps are enough, thankyouverymuch.  So, back to the Megado for a while.

I also have to make a decision about the electric spinning wheel.  I mean seriously, how much hand spun yarn do I want to add to my yarn stash?  What was I thinking?  I might instead just sell it off.  The local spinners and felters will no doubt be happy to buy my spinning fibre stash from me.

Except.  Except spinning keeps coming back into my life.  So I'm going to sit on that decision for a while.

In the meantime I'm going to be spending a lot more time at the computer.  I have a dozen Power Point presentations to build over the coming months.  Plus the recording/rendering/uploading of the meetings.

Plus I got an inquiry from Handwoven yesterday.  Something that I think I can handle.  But it has a deadline, too.

So.  Not 'retiring' so much as 're-inventing' it would appear...

Study Group

 

Ok, so there was enough interest in a study group that I have gone ahead and formed a group on Facebook.  It is hidden because I want to keep the group smaller and focused on the principles of the craft.  I want people with at least some background knowledge so that they can build on what they know.  Or newer but interested in more than just recipes.   People who want to take a deep dive into the craft.  This group is not meant to be a 'how to learn to weave' group, but 'how to weave better' group.  If you are a newer weaver but this approach rings your bells, message me and we can talk more about what I expect, and what I hope to offer.

As mentioned previously, it will be hosted through Facebook so if you are interested, send me a friend request (if we aren't already) so I can add you.  (A direct message would be good so I know that you want to join.)  Once we are friends, I will send you an invite to the group.  Once you accept that invite, you're in.

I will post resources and some 'things to think about' from time to time, but the serious content will be in once monthly Zoom meetings.  The link to the Zoom meetings will be posted under the Events tab of the group.  After the meeting, which I will record, render and upload to You Tube, the link for that will be posted in the FB group as well.  The You Tube videos will not be public but unlisted and only found by using the link.

This group is not meant to go on forever but may last around 10 to 12 months (Zoom meetings)

I have started an introductions thread.  As you join, please introduce yourself to the group.  

Any questions?  Email me.  laura@laurafry.com

Onwards into the Future

 

I decided to make a few more place mats for several reasons.  I had been having issues weaving on the Leclerc Fanny and stopped for a year.  The physical issues I was having (long, looooooong story) appear to be somewhat resolved and I wanted to see if I could weave on that loom comfortably enough to decide if I should keep it or get rid of it.

It was a difficult decision because the Leclerc is a workhorse and well suited to things that require a firm beat.  So - place mats for one.  Also good for things like rayon chenille.  And it's great for striped warps because it has a regular back beam not a sectional.  While I can, and do, wind a warp and beam it onto a sectional beam, it's not something I prefer to do.  Much easier to just toss it at the Leclerc.

There was also a warp I'd wound way back in 2019 and had never woven off because I was just having way too much pain.  So I began with that.  Then I took a long look at the 2/8 yarn stash, checked my place mat inventory, and there were some colours that I was low on and decided to beef up those colours.

While rummaging, I came across a quite bright green and I have a friend who loves green, bright green the very best.  Since she does a lot for the guild - and for me - and she hosts large dinner parties in non-covid times, I figured I would do a warp of that bright green for her.  She will get the table runner and all 12 mats, in part because I know she will use them.

So far I've woven the grey warp that was in the holding pen, and the green, which is in the dryer as I write this, and I will wind one of the blue combinations today and get the loom dressed again.  Or at least start to do that.  

Once I finish the two mat warps in the queue, I'll go back to the Megado and give my body a rest from the heavy pounding needed for the mats.

But of course, during the dive into my 2/8 cotton I had more ideas bubble to the surface!  So now my plan is to weave one scarf warp, then maybe one or two more (with 5 or 6 scarves, depending) and then go back to the Leclerc and weave some striped warp kitchen towels on that loom.  Because I have a huge amount of cotton flake to use up.

2/8 cotton warp and cotton flake weft makes a nice thick cloth that works well as a utility kitchen towel.  It's not what I would call a tea towel because it won't dry glasses very well - too thick!  But it will still work to dry large pots/pan or one's hands.  Those warps will go onto the Leclerc but since they don't require a heavy beat, I'm curious to see if I can weave that quality of cloth without setting my recovery back.

If I can, I plan on keeping the loom so that I have the option of winding warps on the warping board and using it, or if I have to resign myself to taking off the sectional rakes to do that on the Megado, or mess with beaming a wound warp onto the sectional beam.

Decisions, decisions.

It is a marker of my recovery that I am actually beginning to have the energy to do things again, and my 'dreams' (if you will) are beginning to expand.  Yes, I can do this!  Yes, I can do that!  Well, that remains to be seen, but at least I feel more functional, just very tired.  All the damned time.  There doesn't seem to be much I can do about that.  The Nurse Practitioner reminded me that fatigue is a function of the dis-ease of my body.

So - new normal?  Not really.  I've been dealing with fatigue since the end of 2006, off and on.  Now it seems to be 'on' all the damned time.

With covid and my age (and thankfully I *am* aging, because the alternative sucks), I have to make some decisions.  So far I assume I'm still scheduled to go out to Cape Breton in May - except that I doubt covid is going to allow that kind of gathering and long distance travel.  So I'm prepared to see that cancel.  I've agreed to teach level one at Olds College in June - but Alberta isn't doing well on the covid front, and frankly, I'd like to just see everyone stay at home until vaccines can bring herd immunity.  Trudeau projected September on the news the other night, but time will tell.

I turn 71 this year and frankly?  I'm not sure I'm up to driving the mountains anymore.  As much as I love the trip.  As much as I enjoy long road trips, yes, all by myself, the reality is they are getting more and more difficult.

So.  Here we are in the 21st century and I've learned Zoom.  I've given two presentations with another booked for Jan. 31, one in Feb., and more to come.  I've started a mentoring group on line, learned how to record, edit, render, upload to You Tube.

Can I teach on line?  It seems I can.  It's not the same as teaching in real life, but still...

If I were to begin a study group on line - Facebook page (I know, FB is evil, but it can also be used effectively by most), private, Zoom meetings, recorded, link to an unlisted video, and....I would expect some kind of payment.  Because for the Zoom meetings I spend a couple of hours preparing for them, I monitor the FB group page and answer questions, and generally make myself available for feedback.

If anyone would be interested in participating in such a study group, based on my book The Intentional Weaver, you must *email* me to indicate your interest.  Email works best for me so that I could contact you when (and if) I decide to proceed.  You should also have a copy of my book as that is the resource that would be used.

If you want to know how much investment you would have to make, let me say that I have a ko-fi account where people can buy me a 'coffee'.  It would be up to each person to decide how much they could afford, how much value they derive from each Zoom meeting.

So - interested?  Email me laura@laurafry.com  It must be an email, not just a comment here or on the links I post to FB and Twitter.

Expectations

Image of two different yarns.  Long time readers will recognize the image as being of two yarns spun to the same number of yards per pound from cotton.  Obviously quite different.  Obviously will not behave the same.  But because they have the same number of yards per pound, the expectation is that they will behave identically and create identical qualities of cloth.  They will not.

The knitting (and crochet, I assume)  world is being rocked with controversy over patterns - what they should include and what they might not.  Designers are being asked to be very specific, but use different/cheaper yarn.  Provide sizes from infant to 3X (or even larger), all charted out.  Provide sample/models of the item made up in a variety of different yarns, especially cheaper yarns.  And so on.

Many of these requests (demands in some instances) are completely unrealistic.  All of these things but keep the price of the pattern cheap - or better yet! - free.  (!)  Because designers are 'raking in the money' with their pattern sales.

This type of conversation echoes through the weaving world, too.

New practitioners don't understand anything (or much of anything) about the craft, but want instant *perfect* results right out of the starting gate.

They don't understand that all of the textile arts rely on basic understanding of the tools and materials and at least a nodding acquaintance with the degree of skill involved in getting even close to 'perfection'.

I have been weaving since 1975 when I quit my job in order to become a professional/production weaver.

The same argument goes around about every decade or so.  The same myths are perpetuated.  The same expectation of 'perfection' based on the myth that the textile arts are 'unskilled'.  Can't have anything to do with the fact that the vast majority of textile practitioners are female, amirite?

Women do uncounted hours of free labour every day.  That labour is diminished in the eyes of society because of the very fact that it is unpaid.  Therefore not to be respected or honoured.

When the largely female professionals speak up to explain why patterns cannot always be free, because they also have bills to pay, some of the people requesting (sometimes demanding) all this extra information can get quite grumpy.

I eventually withdrew from most groups on the internet because I got tired.  I got tired of defending myself for asking for payment for my services.  I got tired of defending my level of knowledge - and yes, skill - from people who expected to achieve that same level instantly.

I got tired of people telling me I didn't know what I was talking about.

I got tired of people arguing with me without ever going to the trouble of - oh, I don't know - cracking a book?  Doing a simple Google search?

The first expectation from a number of people wanting to take up weaving is - how hard can it be?  It can be very very hard.

The next expectation is that substitutions are easy.  They are not.  (see photo above)

The next expectation is that perfection can be achieved with the first warp.  A very few people sometimes can get very good results, but the vast majority cannot.

The expectation that someone can give definitive answers without knowing all the parameters is completely unrealistic.

When an experienced weaver answers a question with 'sample!', they are not being facetious, they are giving the very best advice they can.  If someone contacts me asking what they should do with their yarn, a yarn I have never seen let alone worked with, all I can do is advise them to weave a sample.

When they ask what they should do with a yarn I may have worked with, but never made the quality of cloth they want?  I have to suggest a sample.  Because I do not know.  Because I have never done that.  I can give my best guess (which might be a rather informed guess, but still a guess) but ultimately *change one thing and everything can change*.

I have been having a bit of a conversation on a group and the other person lives in an area of high humidity while I don't.  Their experience has been quite different from mine.  And we finally agreed that perhaps the difference was due to the humidity.

Because change one thing and everything can change.  And environmental factors are one of those variables that will affect how a yarn behaves.

All of these things are what keeps me engaged in weaving, keeps me going back to the loom to learn more.

But ultimately?  We also need a core of informed practitioners who will write the patterns, teach the classes.  And they need to be paid for their time and labour just like any other professional.

#fairfiberwage

Milestones

cover of Magic

cover of The Intentional Weaver

cover of Handwoven  (one of two covers my work has graced)  Just got the galley proofs for the next article scheduled for the end of this year.

One thing about turning a significant zero birthday and entering the world of the 'elderly' is the time spent remembering.

Sometimes the journey down the past is bittersweet.  Sometimes it's uncomfortable.  Sometimes it's a lovely trip of remembering fondly some of the people and places one has encountered along the way.

In many ways my life has surprised me, although why that should be so, shouldn't.  I worked hard to bring my dream to life.

I got up every morning and showed up to do the work.  I learned how to promote myself (something that remains, to this day, uncomfortable, having been brought up to not 'toot my own horn'.)

Without any sense of self pity I can say I have come to the beginning of the end of my life.  And that is perfectly ok.  It is perfectly normal to acknowledge that I have had a (mostly) good life but that certain aspects of it are no longer tenable.

So I began cutting away the things that were causing me too much stress, one way or another.  It was similar to Marie Kondo's 'method' - does it bring you joy?  If not, let it go.

The first thing to go were the teaching tours.  I stopped approaching guilds, trying to set up tours.  I began saying 'no' to requests to teach for guilds.

Last year I made the decision to retire from doing the craft fairs and shut down my business, which was based on making and selling textiles, mainly through craft fairs (although we had also wholesaled textiles for about 10 years in the 1980s and 90s).

Now I am focused on stash reduction.  And on that front I am making pretty good headway.  However, when you prefer finer yarns, that takes a while.

The other day I did some number crunching.  Each 20 yard (approximately) tea towel warp uses up about 2.5 pounds of yarn for the warp.  Which isn't a whole lot when I have pounds and pounds of the stuff.

What is even more dismaying is the two plus shelving units crammed full with silk.  Some of it fine silk.  Some of very fine silk.

just two shelves of the many of silk yarns - this stuff is so fine it will take three strands to equal a 2/20 size silk

I keep saying I am going to take out my espinner and start plying it, just so I can make it thick enough to see.

Because one of the effects of my eyesight is that I simply cannot see very fine yarns well enough to work with any more.

On Tuesday I get another eye exam.  I go every two years - and generally wind up with another, stronger, lens prescription because my eyes have gotten that much worse.  Again.  Now I also have cataracts so I want to stay on top of how those are growing.  Because cataracts are going to affect how I see colour.

While the good news is that they can be removed when they are 'bad' enough, I'm not fond of people poking stuff into my eyes.

However, they can be fixed, and for that I am grateful.

Milestones.  Some are nice.  Some not so much.  But it's life in all its glory.

Currently reading Riviera Gold by Laurie R King