40 Plus Years

 

Someone posted today that they were going to do something that made them anxious but they were going to do it anyway.  Then asked if 'you' were doing something that made 'you' anxious today?

Happens that I read that post right after making an appointment to meet with my editor at 11 am.  As I sat there with a ball of 'sick' in my stomach, I thought about the previous times I'd self-published.  Both of the previous books had been a hell of a lot more work and took a hell of a lot longer to pull together than this one.

But I'm older now and I have those two other publications, live and in the wild, and this time?  Was a completely different experience.

One of my alpha readers commented how quickly it had come together, then mused that it had been 40 years in the making.  I agreed and said that I felt like I had been taking dictation.

So.  My hat trick consists of Magic in the Water; wet finishing handwovens; The Intentional Weaver; how to weave better, and now?  Stories from the Matrix.  Those two thumb drives are two copies of the essays, one of which will go with the editor today, the other will be kept by me as a backup copy.

Stories is not meant to be The Compleate Book of Weaving, but simply MY stories.  Things I've learned along the journey.  In some cases I have nothing to back up my conclusions but my observations and experiences.  Not everyone will agree with me, nor will some of the things I suggest be appropriate for everyone. Some of the essays are simply telling my tales as I journeyed through the past 40 plus years.  Some of them are humourous, some of them are tales of gratitude to those I met along the way.  Some of them scrape another layer off what I know about weaving and may be of value to someone else.  Even someone who might be experienced?   

Like everything else about weaving, whether or not Stories will resonate with another weaver will depend.

OTOH, both alpha readers have commented that they learned something by reading their portion of the essays.  And I think that says everything I needed to hear, and why I will keep going with this.  Even though I am nervous of the reaction when the essays are released into the 'wild'.  Even though I am sure not everyone will like it or agree with me.  Even so.

Ultimately my purpose, right from the beginning, was to help others, as best I could.  I hope to live for a few more years to see what other things I might learn.  Perhaps schedule more Zoom presentations so I can continue to reach out to the weaving community to share my stories.

I look back on my life with no small sense of wonder.  A life I had no idea would open for me.  A path that was far from clear when viewed from the other end, but appears so clear from this.

The plan is to officially publish July 9, 2023.  It's my birthday and I cannot think of a better way to mark another trip around the sun.  

Stay tuned for details.  There is still a lot of work to be done, but the majority of my work has been accomplished and now I turn it over to other hands.  

In the meantime I will continue to weave.  To learn.  To grow, if I'm lucky.  And write this blog for those who are interested.  

Twice now I have published a book and said 'that's it, I'm done' and twice I've had to eat my words.  So I won't say 'never' but neither do I know if there is anything else I have left to say that would warrant an actual 'book'.  

Guess I will find out?

Polishing

 

if it were easy, everyone would be doing it...

It seems I have written all the essays my 'muse' insisted I write.  My alpha reader has returned the edits, which I have used to update my copy.  And now?  

Polishing.

In spite of the original writing, my initial editing, my alpha reader editing, now that I am preparing the files for my final editor, I am reading through them all *again* - because enough time has passed I have a little perspective - and editing *again*.

That's right.  I am editing them all *again*.  

The point is clarity and enough time has passed for me to have forgotten what I wrote initially, and I can better see the inconsistency and any lack of clarity.  It's not a huge change anywhere, just a word here or there, an errant apostrophe or comma to be cleaned up.

I'm quite sure my official editor will have thoughts as well.

It was important to me to have editors who knew how to weave and the correct spellings of weaving terms.  I have had a couple of books 'spoiled' when the word 'dying' was used when it was clearly the word 'dyeing' that was the correct word.

I've had interactions with people who confidently declared that 'dying' was a perfectly good word.  I told them that yes, it was, but when you mean adding colour to a yarn, dyEing was the correct spelling.

It was quite amusing because for months afterward they used exactly that - dyEing - in their posts which really brought attention to the correct spelling and probably did more to raise awareness than my pointing it out in the first place.

I suspect there are still a few things my editor will adjust but I'm trying to give her clean copy - or as clean as I can make it.  This effort will take about 6+ hours, and I can't do them all at once.  I've just completed 3 and find myself starting to glaze over.  It is time to go do something else for a while.

Editing isn't something that can be rushed and doing it while brain fog is present is an exercise is futility.  Or at least, frustration.  

So I'm going to go to the studio and weave a towel and clear my head.  I have a number of 'deadlines' coming up and I need to stay focused.

Life Got Busy

 

Instead of a week with only one trip out of the house it has turned into a string of trips out of the house, which means my plans for this week got tossed, like a salad.

However I DID manage to finally get the next warp weaving and wove one towel before lunch.  I also found the draft I wanted for the 'last' essay, carefully saved - to the thumb drive instead of my desktop.  Oh well, I don't have to reconstruct that one, at least.

Today I will begin setting up the loom for the beginning weaving class that starts April 29 and which will run for 4 Saturdays.

At the executive meeting I was asked to run a 'beyond beginners' class and after we discussed it decided the best approach would be to do it on two consecutive Saturdays, likely in late September.  I'd like to have it done before Thanksgiving, because after that we start getting busy with our sales events.

To that end I discovered that I had not, after all, tossed ALL of my workshop binders, but kept one which will be perfect for a beyond beginners class.  All I have to do now is completely re-format the workshop handouts.  Which I pretty much did every time I taught the class anyway, so not a big deal.

If I get done at the guild early enough I'd like to finish the last essay so that I can send it off to my alpha reader/editor and then go through and re-name the files to more accurately reflect the content and once that is done, copy all the files to a thumb drive to hand to my editor for a final copy edit, then format, then give her time to figure out how the blurb website works in order to upload the file and create the two formats - pdf and paperback.

Next week is full of appointments - in fact the rest of the month has numerous obligations so it's important I get started on the warps *now*, not assume I will have the spoons over the next couple of weeks.  I am also signed up for a spinning workshop and yesterday I got the wheel running, so now I need to spend some time at it and practice.  I am so *out* of practice!  

Anyway, thank you to the people who responded to my question in the last post.  The essay on the development of the above technique is nearly done.  At some point I have to say 'enough' even though I can see other things I want to do to this series.  It won't be over just because I stop writing.  Because you know what they say - a writer doesn't finish writing a book, they simply stop writing the book...

Queue

 It's said that the word 'queue' is just a q with a line of ue's after it.  

So here's the latest draft in the queue.  It's not 'done' yet.  I started with one of the other drafts and messed around with the elements in it and in 30 minutes arrived at this stage.

Now that I can see it the full width, I can see parts I don't like - like the transition from the waves into the selvedge 'border'.  I'll smooth that transition out.  I may also try fiddling with the treadling, although I'm not sure I can do much with that, that will actually appeal to me.  However, I may increase the repeats, which will enlarge the thickness of the wave line and make it more dramatic in a larger scale.  I didn't do it at the time because the timer on the stove went, telling me the soup needed attention and I haven't made it back to dealing with it since.

Instead I finished off the warp on the loom, beamed the next, then began threading it.  It's 1/3 done and should get finished today.  I also ran the 20 towels from the last warp through the washer/dryer, so they are ready to be pressed.  And then I'll have a stack of hemming to do.  Again.  :)  And I final pressed all of the hemmed towels so they are now on the shelf in the storage area.

Currently I have 3 warps designed, including the above which needs a final tweaking.  I'm hesitant about one of them because I'm not sure I'm going to like it.  So I'm trying to think of something else I can do with the simple point progression of the threading.  I have two options - abandon it or figure out a backup design that can be done on the same threading.

What I do not have is a void, an emptiness, about what to do next.

Each warp sparks ideas for another.  If the warp is long enough, I may come up with several 'new' ideas, or at least directions to explore.  I am seldom 'lost' about what to do 'next'.

All the written essays have been edited and corrected.  I am still considering writing a final essay on how I have developed this series, in case it is something people would be interested in.  I'm not sure it will be of much use, so I'm weighing the time/energy it will take to go through the iterations I've done - so far - and how many people might actually find it interesting.

So, what say you, dear reader?  Does following a (not quite) step by step development of this series appeal?  Or nah?

Shed Geometry

 

 

The Louet Megado has been highly refined so that a loom with quite a 'short' distance between breast and back beam creates a rather large shed.  The above photo is the warp at rest, under tension.  The shuttle race is slightly 'off' level when it is at rest. (This is not a 'fault' - it's how the loom has been designed.) The warp is resting at about the bottom of the reed, and just grazes the front tip of the shuttle race.  

When the shed is opened, the back beam rises to about the same height at the breast beam.  The warp then rises as well so that the bottom of the shed is now slightly above the reed bottom and well above the shuttle race.  THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM.  The shuttle does not ride on the shuttle race but on the shed floor.  

The shuttle race is ONLY necessary if you are using a fly shuttle.  The shuttle race was developed to make a fly shuttle possible - a bridge to get the shuttle from the fly shuttle box over to the shed, then out the other side and into the box on the other side of the loom.

This is the schematic provided by Louet in their owner's manual.  It clearly shows how the warp is being raised to create the best shed possible.  However, it shows the shed opening from the maximum points in the loom - the outside edge of the breast beam to the outside edge of the back beam.  The warp at rest slants downwards as the breast beam is about 37" or 94 cm in height while the back beam is about 32" or 81.5 cm.

When we weave, the shed does not form all the way out to the outside edge of the breast beam but to the FELL.  This alters the shed geometry as it changes the angle of the threads as they travel from the back beam to the fell.  The angle of the warp from the heddles to the fell becomes more acute as weaving builds.  As the fell approaches the reed as weaving proceeds, that angle becomes even more acute.  This increases the tension on the threads and is one of the reasons why new weavers are urged to keep the fell in the 'sweet spot'.

If the warp yarn is 'tender' weaving beyond the sweet spot can begin to stress the warp and is often when breakage will begin happening.  Selvedges can begin to develop weft loops as tension on the selvedge ends increases.

Where is the sweet spot?  Depends on the loom.  The Megado has a gigantic shed and a very large sweet spot.  I have been able to (carefully) push the weaving area to about 3".  This is not something I recommend for every weaver, loom or warp.  It works for me, but I know it's part laziness.  I might be very close to finishing an item and rather than advance the warp for the matter of a few picks, I will continue weaving, even though I know I'm pushing the loom and the warp to its limit.  But I also know the yarn I am using very well, and know it can handle the extra tension.  BUT I have to be very careful with my shuttle handling and not add any additional stress.

In the above diagram I have added a red mark showing approximately where the fell needs to be for proper clearance of the beater and the breast beam.  It may not seem like the change in angle is important, but it becomes important in terms of being consistent in beat and to make sure the shuttle race isn't scraping across the web below, especially if the web is loosely woven.  The rubbing of the shuttle race can shift the picks so that the picks are no longer consistent, creating areas of much less and much higher density.  

Bottom line?  Understand what is happening.  If your loom is a counter balanced or counter march loom and doesn't have a shuttle race - that's because it doesn't need one.  No need to add one.  If you want to add a fly shuttle, then you *will* need to add a shuttle race.

Get to know the sweet spot on your loom and stay within it unless you know the warp can tolerate the extra stress of weaving beyond the sweet spot.

Get familiar with the signs of weaving too close to the reed - the loops that suddenly appear at the selvedge, for example.  

Get comfortable advancing the fell and re-setting the tension.  I've written about this extensively (and have an essay on that in the Next Big Project for those that haven't come across the info - yet).

And for those who haven't seen it yet, here is the link to the You Tube video I posted to Facebook.

Binders

 

I got binders.  Six at the minute.  The one on the top contains the essays I wrote after sending the first 25 to my alpha reader and which I worked on while we were away.  I got those sent to the alpha reader yesterday after updating my Word files with the corrections I'd noted - and did some additional minor re-writes.  Perhaps I have less brain fog now the pain killer is working its way out of my system and I can think more clearly.  Frankly I'm pretty amazed at how few corrections have needed to be done - as was my alpha reader, I think!  :D

There are two essays that need some major tweaking and two more that may get mashed together, although they look at the same topic through different lenses.  And that's kind of the point of the essays.  To take a look at weaving through some of the different lenses.  TBD.

I got 'behind' on updating the edits because I was away, but I have printed out the edits yesterday and they are sitting on a pile on my desk, to be dealt with soon.  I'll begin today although I may not get all of them done.  I have a 'system' which is keeping me organized and on track.

I have also reached a crossroads regarding the towel series I've been working on.  I'm tired and running low on energy, unsure how much I can face challenges in designing new weaving drafts.  I could revisit some of the drafts I have done and adjust them into something different.  Since I only have 16 shafts available, my design options are limited (I know, I know, 16 should be plenty!)  But I can't get the kind of detail I'd like and I'm not sure enough that what I've done will weave up into anything but blobs.  However, if it doesn't look like anything I can dial back and do something a lot simpler.  So I will carry on with the one I have worked on and see how it looks woven up.  Sometimes things happen in the wet finishing and pleasant (or not-so-pleasant) surprises come out of the magic in the water.  

Speaking of which, I should remind folk of my books, available on the blurb website.

This is also where the essays will be available for sale, hopefully this summer.  It is said that a writer never actually finishes writing the book, they simply stop writing the book.  I may be approaching the 'stop' sign.

The plan is to publish the essays in two formats - digital and paperback.  I don't feel that the essays warrant hardback and since so many people are now preferring digital, we'll do that, just like we did for my first two books.  (I can't begin to explain how...odd...writing that previous sentence feels, given I never thought I would EVER write one book, let alone two.  Now...three...)

The sun is shining and I have things I'd like to accomplish today.  Editing is one of them.  But I think I'll begin by heading to the studio.  I cut the first 8 towels off the loom yesterday so that needs to be re-tied before I can begin weaving, and I think I need more bobbins.  So, some prep work needs to happen before I can begin tossing a shuttle.

Time for my happy place...

Coming up Daisies

 

A little hard to see underneath the breast beam, but I wanted to show how this one is turning out.

I had a long hard think about what colours I had left and the drafts I'd designed.  There are three in the queue, but rather than weave them in order, I decided this particular colour combination would look better in this draft so swapped which one I put into the loom 'next'.

Since I am trying really hard to use up my stash, and especially the colours/yarns that are not my favourites, once I got started on this bleached white for weft I wanted very badly to get it used up.  Not that there is anything particularly 'wrong' with the yarn.  It's just twisted a little bit more firmly than my other 2/20 mercerized cotton yarns, which means these towels feel a little bit coarser than the rest.  Not a deal breaker - they *are* towels, after all.  Rather than leave it for 'later' and never getting to it at all, it seemed like a really good time to plunge onwards.

This warp will not use up all of the bleached white, but I'm thinking I might do some on the next warp which is going to be natural white cotton.  Or maybe I'll ask a bobbin lace making friend if she wants the yarn.  It's a bit thick for bobbin lace, but can still work.  Or else I could drag my own lace stuff out and use it myself?  TBD.

So far everything seems to be going well with the loom, thankfully.  I got four towels woven so far and the rest should come off fairly quickly once I get home.  Except!  April is turning into a busy month, so we'll see.  If the jab goes well I can get off the heavy duty painkillers and will have less pain and less brain fog.  That is my hope, anyway.

I wasn't entirely idle while the loom was being dealt with or waiting for parts.  I've written a few more essays, told a few more personal stories.  And I have one more topic planned - the development of the above draft from the first spark of inspiration/questioning to wherever I am when I finish writing.

My editor is busy with other things until the end of April, so that's my deadline - get whatever I have written by then to her.  I have two that need major re-writes but those have to wait until I get home and hopefully have more functional little grey cells.  Plus my alpha reader needs time to read and correct the typos/grammar she spots so my deadline to finish writing is April 15.  Ish.  

Today I printed out all of the 'new' essays, hole punched them, put them into a 3 ring binder and added a highlighter.  I can read through the essays in the van, correct the Word files when I get home and then send the lot to her.  

In many ways I feel like I'm 'rushing' through this project.  My other books took 5 *years* from concept to publication.  This is taking more like 6 months.  But initial feedback is that the information is good and needs to be shared.  So I'm going to take the gift from the Muses and see if we can get it all put together for a publication date this summer.  

We will be away for 5 days, but will have email/internet in the hotels so if anyone needs me for anything I can be reached that way.  I will answer when I can.

Fingers crossed for a good drive each way and for spring to be a little more advanced by the end of the week - but not, hopefully, flooding!

Learning/Teaching

 

Thinking about the trip to Vancouver next week, knowing there really won't be time (or energy) to visit Sweet Georgia.  My life seems to be focused entirely on keeping this body going.  

Thinking about the essays.  Brain fog is pretty thick right now and the Muse is quiet.  For now.  For which I'm grateful as I try to gather up my thoughts to keep going.  April is going to be a busy month.  I'm glad the trip is happening now instead of mid-April.  That should take some pressure off of me.

We have four signed up for the beginning to weave class.  At least one is taking it as a refresher, so they may get co-opted to help me if I need it.  They have taken classes with me before, but many moons ago.  Pretty sure they will begin to remember things once we get started.

The class will again be masks required.  The guild room isn't huge and during demos we will be close together.  The building is used by other people, none of them wearing masks that I've seen and covid is NOT over.  People who are immune compromised are still at risk and one of the students has had covid once.  (That I know about.)  Every time a person gets caught, the risk of long covid increases.  It isn't just me I'm thinking about, but everyone.  

The next lecture for School of Sweet Georgia is May but there are a few more guild presentations that have been added to my calendar.  HGA has been blasting emails out asking for keynote speakers and workshop leaders and that's just a huge nope for me.  I refuse to fly anywhere when no masks are required.  I cannot chance being cooped up in a metal tube for hours or sitting confined in a crowded airport, not knowing how many people in the crowd are positive, not just for covid but other airborne illnesses.  My gambling days are over and frankly I never wanted traveling bugs either.  Too many trips sitting next to someone hacking and coughing and me getting home sick as can be.  

So nope, not in the cards.  Besides, I've done keynote speeches.  I don't need to add another notch to my resume - to mix a metaphor.

Instead, whatever grey matter I have will be rubbed together to try and write a few more essays.  

Learning how one's limits have reduced and not getting upset or depressed is one of life's Big Lessons.

The next class for SOS will launch in a few months.  In the meantime I hang out on the SOS forums or sometimes a few other online groups.  Just refused another invite to join a FB group.  If people want to know what I think they can come to me.  Considering I am 'retired' (for certain values of) I don't feel like I need to help every single person out there (waves hand).  Part of me thinks I'm well enough known I shouldn't have to hang out in every single public forum.  The rest of me knows that is a rather ridiculous level of hubris.  Of course not every weaver in NA knows anything about me!  

But I no longer concern myself with getting hired by guilds.  I do have a 'fan base' (if you will) and if those people think what I'm doing is valuable, I'm sure they are capable of hitting the share button.

As for the essays?  No idea how many people will be interested, but enough people have indicated that they are.  And hopefully those who find them interesting will spread the word.  It used to be called word of mouth - now it's words by keyboard?

At any rate, if people want to learn from me, SOS isn't terribly expensive and they have other teachers as well.  Click on the link or scan the QR code.  (I think I've copied the code correctly!)

This old dog is getting too tired to learn new tricks. 

Cautiously Optimistic

 

After a week of stress for a number of reasons, I am feeling cautiously optimistic this morning.  

The fact that we have had a couple days of sunshine has surely helped while I adjust to daylight 'savings' time.  (What we are 'saving' I've never been sure and would be delighted to be on standard time year round.  DST year round means it will still be dark at 10 am here in the middle of winter.)

Anyway, the TexSolv pegs arrived yesterday and the adjustments were made.  I was able to finish the towel that was half done when everything went pear shaped, then one complete towel with zero issues.

Then I got an email from the second alpha reader and based on her comments my inner critic is currently quiet.

With the organization I completed while waiting for the loom parts to arrive, and a muse also currently quiet (although I did ask first alpha reader about a topic to see if she thought it was a good one to include) having some time to do the tedious task of sorting and filing what has been done into something I could now begin to analyze for content and begin to sequence, means I feel a lot more confident that this is a project worth doing and have a road map to see me to completion.

Normally (ha!) I have the end goal in sight and do everything I can to get myself to that end goal.  This project just started bursting out with no real end goal in mind.  It wasn't even originally a book but articles I would try to find a venue for - magazine, website, whatever.  They are too long for a blog so some other way to get them out would be needed.  A newsletter?  I could start a Patreon, or do something for subscribers only via ko-fi as they allow for that option.  It all seemed like a whole lot of on-going work and frankly I'm trying to reduce my daily quota of 'work'.  Being 'retired' and all.

As the essays came tumbling out it seemed 'right' to collect them and offer them as a 'book'.  I talked to a couple of friends who were all encouraging, then asked two people to alpha read.  I could have done the polishing to find the typos and grammar issues myself - and I did do a pass through before sending them to the alpha readers, but I wasn't hunting for the problems; my sub-conscious was too busy pumping more content out.  What I mostly wanted from them, apart from the obvious editing polish, was an honest assessment of the content.

They have both been very supportive and now that personal issues are in the process of being resolved, the loom appears to be fixed, things are calming down chez nous.

I have settled on Stories from the Matrix for the title and am now pondering a cover.  The book will be paperback to keep the cost down as much as possible, but everything is more expensive now so it will be offered as a pdf as well as print version, just like Magic and TIW.  My goal is to keep writing up until my editor tells me when to give her the files.

As one pundit put it: an author does not finish writing a book; they *stop* writing a book.  If my sub-conscious keeps feeding me more topics when this one is ready to be published, I can always do what so many other books have done - add the content and keep going?  Mary Black did that with Key to Weaving, which became New Key to Weaving; Allen Fannin with Handloom Weaving Technology; Jackson and Dixon with Textile Science for Interior Designers, and so on.  Or if there looks to be enough content, a volume 2?  Who knows.  I never really know what the heck my sub-conscious is up to!

A Little Organization

 

One of the things that comes in handy when working on a big project is space enough to get organized.

Lacking the space, I have to make do with what is available.  In this case, the floor of my office.

With edits beginning to come in, I was needing to get more stream-lined in how I was handling those edits.  

I've mentally been working with 5 'rough' categories (subject to change).  Today I decided to sort the essays into the most appropriate of those rough categories, in part to see where the holes in content are, in part to make them easier to find.

At this point they are not sequenced (because I keep adding to the pile) so they have no page numbers.  It was becoming cumbersome to sort through and update the unedited file with the corrections that were being sent.

Obviously I also update the file on the desktop, but I find for sorting content (chapters?  Sections?) hard copies work better because I can quite literally physically shuffle the essays around.  For the time being they have been filed in their own 3 ring binder alphabetically.

Eventually some of the titles will be changed to better reflect the content, but for now they are still in rough draft stage, so that can be done later as a final sweep through and polishing.

I have put a 'tab' on the first page of each essay so I can go through the tabs, not every single page, to find the essay I'm looking for.  I bought the tabs for a different project and had lots left - which has come in very handy while I'm doing *this* project.  

The first alpha reader has been quite encouraging in both her observations and in the low number of actual 'mistakes' that need to be fixed.  

This project is beginning to take shape and to feel like an actual 'book'.  

She also sent a suggestion for another essay, but last night was a 'bad' night and I think I might need a nap before another friend comes over at 4 pm.  

Once the alpha readers send me their feedback, I have a couple of people who will beta read.  I am thinking that if (and that is a gigantic IF) things go smoothly, I could be in a position to publish on July 9.  Why?  Because it's my birthday.  It might as well be a book birthday, too.

In the meantime, if anyone has suggestions for topics, let me know.  You can reach me laura at laurafry dot com  I can take suggestions up until March 30, 2023.

Writing Books

 

On a chat group I belong to someone asked about 'good' books for a new weaver.  Many of the 'classics' were mentioned and then one person said this:

"Another vote for Deborah Chandler’s Learning to Weave book since it’s the book I learned from as well. And Laila Lundell’s Big Book of Weaving because it’s very clear. And @laurafry’s Intentional Weaver because it gives the nuanced and experienced guidance that other books don’t have."

I feel privileged to be included with such books.  

Over the past month, as I was struggling with my inner critic, several people took the time to contact me and thank me for Magic in the Water.  The Intentional Weaver is newer and fewer copies have been sold - so far.  But I did my best to explain the sciences of weaving and make them more understandable.  We rarely talk about all of the different sciences involved in the creation of cloth - the math, physics, mechanics.  Understanding how those work are, perhaps, less important that understanding what is happening when something is going 'wrong' and dealing with the actual issue, not just the symptom.

A bandage might help, but won't cure the underlaying problem.

I follow a number of writers online and it helps to see them all dealing with the same sorts of issues that I have, and am once again, dealing with.  Clarity of thought.  Explanations that dig deep into issues, trying to shed light where it is dark.  Growing knowledge.  Sharing the best information possible.

When I wrote Magic, one of the things I asked an alpha reader to do was let me know if I had the science right, or if my results were unique to me and not actual principles of wet finishing.  The feedback was positive - I had even explained something to them that they had never consciously recognized as being 'true' - and once they thought it through realized that I'd nailed it.

So far the feedback from the first alpha reader has been positive.  They are catching mostly minor issues, like tense, singular/plural, straight up typos, minor grammar issues.  The 2nd alpha reader should be able to start sending their feedback soon (life is busy right now for a lot of people - I can't express my gratitude to those people willing to assist to make this the best I can.)

Since sending the first 25 essays to the alphas I've managed to write six more.  Once I get all of their feedback for the first batch I will begin sequencing them.  Right now they are like a filing cabinet that has had its contents spilled out on the floor.  I think I need to have them 'organized' in some fashion or it will be jarring to read.  I think.  OTOH, when I wrote TIW, people just wanted me to dump the contents of my brain box out - and this has been pretty much what I've been doing.

In the meantime the troubleshooting continues.  The loom is still not weaving reliably.  Doug will send more photos to Louet today and we will wait for more feedback.  Yesterday SOS asked me to write an 'article' for them, so I did that this morning.  I was sent a list of questions to answer and since most of what they asked has been top of mind while doing the essays it didn't take very long to write.  Pretty sure I sent a much larger word count than they were expecting!  What can I say - I seem to have a lot of words in me demanding to come out.  

In spite of my inner critic, I will press on.  My inner critic isn't the one who needs to know this information.  It has been heartening to see the weaving community grow again after is contracted in the mid-80s and 90s.  My goal is to get the very best information I can out and hopefully prevent frustration because people are having problems they aren't sure how to solve.  

I have to admit I'm pulling on a great deal of hubris right now and the nagging of my inner critic is doing what such negative feedback has always done - made me more determined to do this and do it to the best of my ability.  It will be up to others to determine if I succeed.  Or not.

Anyway, when the essays are 'done' they will join TIW and Magic on blurb.com.  Rest assured I will let everyone know when it does...

Watershed

 

It is coming to that time of year when the sun shines through the fan light in the front door, casting splashes of sunlight on the floor.

It turned cold again this week but the gift is the clear skies (mostly) and brilliant sunshine glaring off the heaps of snow.

It has been no hardship for me to stay in and plug away at the loom and the desktop, looking up and out the window at times to drink in the view.  We don't have the prettiest view, we live in a subdivision after all, but it's been our view for over 40 years now.  We watch the seasons roll by, the trees coming into leaf, then change colours, then be draped with snow.  A reminder that we live in a cycle and nothing lasts forever.

I reached a point where I realized I had to stop and do some organizing and part of that was to begin editing.  Each essay had been printed out, in all its roughness, so I finally got the hole punch, punched holes in the pages and then 'filed' them in a three ring binder.  The binder was pretty much full and the number of essays (including the introduction) was 25.

It seemed like a good number at which to stop and begin to take stock.  Even my sub-conscious seemed to agree as it did not insist I write another - until I was almost half way through reading/editing those.

Not wanting to be distracted I refused to go write more until those were done and then the whole lot sent to two alpha readers.

It was satisfying to read through what I'd done so far and discover that the only editing was mostly just correcting typos and clarifying vague statements.  I mean, *I* know what I meant, but the meaning would be less clear to someone else.  So a few sentences got some minor surgery.  

While I know there are other things I could write about, I'm not sure I should, given how much I've already said about processes, plus the online classes where I not only talk about but can demonstrate the techniques.  Will an essay actually add anything?

Instead I found myself combing through memories of trips, workshops I've taken, weaving instructors I've learned from.  I may continue in that vein although it wasn't my primary thought when I started writing.  But if I'm going to completely embrace the storyteller in me, perhaps those are the stories that most need to be told?

At any rate, with one 1" binder 'full', any further essays will go into a separate folder on the desktop and be filed in a second binder.  Still have no idea how many there will be and frankly I'm not sure how many more there *should* be.  

I keep remembering the comment one writer made somewhere - an author doesn't finish writing a book - they simply *stop* writing a book.  With a collection of essays, I can see that being especially true.

Editing

 

By yesterday afternoon I was feeling the pressure of the growing Next Big Project.  It was now large enough it was feeling cumbersome.  Before I continued generating more essays I needed to review what I had already done.

(Some people may wonder why I am sharing so much of the creative process of writing.  I'm doing it because I want people to know that every single book they have in their libraries, especially books about a craft, go through the same steps:  does it need to be written?  How does it need to be written?  Am I being clear enough?  How should the information be presented?  Photos?  Diagrams?  Etc.

As the process grows, imposter syndrome tends to kick in:  have I done the right thing?  Could I do it better?  How could I do it better?  Is this worth my time?  Will anyone but me care?  How many people will be disappointed in what I'm doing?  Other than me, that is.  Every Single Writer I follow on line, whether they are doing fiction or non-fiction seems to go through the same things.  I am not alone in this.  And I think it's good for the reader to understand that writing is also a skill, a craft, and subject to the same creative decisions and angst as any other creative endeavour.)

After putting the pages into a binder I began to see just how MUCH I have already done and knew that I'd better start in on the next stages of bringing a written project into material being.  Editing.  This would also allow me to review the content so far because I've been letting my sub-conscious choose topics, not following an outline.

I opened the binder, pencil and highlighter in hand and began reading.

So far edits are minor.  Mostly typos or small grammatical issues, adding a word here, a phrase there for clarification.  My mind knows what it meant when it wrote those words, but other people won't necessarily understand.  Some clarity is required.

But mostly?  It's ok.  I think it will do.  It is somewhat repetitive, but I doubt anyone will sit down and read all of the essays in one sitting and since it IS weaving I'm talking about, examining the same things from different angles, a little cross pollination is bound to happen.

The creation of cloth is both linear and non-linear.  Some repetition is going to factor into the equation.

Once I am done this initial review, I am going to send the lightly edited essays to someone I trust will give me honest feedback and see what they say.  This is one of the scary bits - finding out if my writing, my stories, are of interest to more than me and one or two of my close personal friends.  (Although most of my close personal friends ARE close personal friends because they are gently honest with me.)

But still.  I have already invested hours of my time in this project and I need to know now, before I invest much more, if it is worthy of being thrown into the wild.  

You may notice I am still fighting my inner demons - that interior critic.  Someone posted on line about wishing their inner demons would stop beating them up.  I posted saying that I wished mine would stop tying my shoelaces together to trip me up...

The more rational part of my brain is beginning to think that this project could go together a lot faster than anticipated.  (Remembering that Magic and The Intentional Weaver each took years in the making.)

So, first step?   Find out if the project is worth continuing.  

Name Dropping

 

Much of my weaving journey has been about popping my reality bubble.  Well, I don't actually use 'bubble' as a metaphor much - because for most people what they live in isn't very transparent.  It's more like an onion.

I have been peeling layers off my reality 'onion' for years.  Decades.

Perhaps it is because I started reading at a very early age, an activity encouraged and supported by my mother and father.  (My father was functionally illiterate - just never had an opportunity to go to school.)

As I look back on my life, I remember some of the people I've met along the way.  Some people I got to know better than others.  Some became friends, or at least friendly acquaintances.  Some I am still in touch with, others have gone.  Sometimes gone as in no longer living, sometimes just taken a different path and I've lost touch with them.  When I think about those, I remember the good times and send them positive thoughts, hoping they are happy and well on their journey.

Today's essay was more about the people I have learned from and in it I decided to go ahead and Drop Some Names.  Because I have had the opportunity to learn from some Big Names in the weaving world.  I even got to know some of them well enough to shoot them an email if I had questions I thought they might be able to answer.

Some are local, some regional, some across the country, some in other countries.

The internet has been a boon for small communities like weavers.  Daily I see posts from people in the UK, Europe, Australia and New Zealand.  Sometimes from South Africa.  There are a few in other places in Africa and some from Asia.  

All these different locations and experiences remind me to peel my eyes open, maybe another layer needs to come off my reality 'onion'.

Today I decided to share some of my learning experiences.  As I wrote about my learning journey, I realized how many of my teachers/mentors have died now.  It was a bittersweet morning as I thought about each person, the impact they had on me and how I have grown because of that.

I didn't name everyone, just alluded to them in some cases, because some people are very private and may not feel comfortable with my naming them.  I tried to respect privacy as much as possible, but did name some people who I felt wouldn't mind my naming them as a positive influence on me.

The recent messages I've had (reinforcement from the universe I am doing the right thing by writing these stories down?) means that I think some of the people I name might appreciate hearing that I remember them and still appreciate the time they gave to me and my questions.

At the same time I am finishing Tyson Yunkaporta's book Sand Talk and feeling the connection to others and this earth we live on.  So it felt right, at this moment in time, to acknowledge the people who have touched me and provided energy and information for my journey, my growth as a person and a weaver.

Each one, teach one, was the phrase I heard as a new weaver.  That seems to encapsulate both my feelings about weavers and Yunkaporta's observations that we are all one.  

We are stardust.  We are the stars.

Proto 'Book'

 

I've lost count but I think I'm up to 20 essays now...

This morning I took all the printed out copies of the essays written so far, put holes in the pages and labeled each so I could find the individual essays more easily, and put them into a three ring binder.  There are enough of them now that I am having trouble remembering which things I've already written about and rather than 'waste' my time covering the same thing all over again, thought I'd best do a review of what has been written.

Plus all those essays have no page numbers and the stack of paper would have been extremely difficult to sort out if the heap had been knocked onto the floor and scattered.  And I could see it happening!

You can maybe see from all the stickers along the edge of the binder that I have written quite a few!

Most of them are only a few pages long.  Some of them will have photos inserted later but for the moment, unless the photo is crucial and I have one in my file, I'm keeping them to a minimum.

My eyesight isn't great (growing cataract, advancing age?) so I've been writing them in a larger than 'usual' font just to make it easier for me to read both on the screen and on the paper.  I do my 'best' editing from the printed page - still - so a printed copy is going to be important.  I can do 'easy' editing, like for this blog on the screen, but I still find 'serious' editing is best done in print.

I have no idea whatsoever how many pages there will be because the number of pages printed out is deceiving.  I will not use a tiny font for publishing because I figure I'm not the only one who is, um, advancing in years, but it won't necessarily be the size I'm using for my own comfort.

As for the information written up so far, it is all over the map, so to speak.  I am making zero effort to work in any kind of linear fashion, bowing to the non-linear reality of how designing a textile (matrix) works.  But it will result in somewhat 'chaotic' reading, I think, so I have four rough categories and I may group the essays into those categories for easier access.  OTOH, everything about weaving tends to overlap so maybe I should run with the non-linear approach?  Dunno.  Will decide when my editor begins to smooth the rough edges off.

At this point I have very little perspective, which is normal.  Almost every writer I know of struggles with assessing their work in any meaningful way at this stage of the project.  And frankly I need the input of other weavers to let me know if what I'm doing is actually assessible or too chaotic for words.  Or concepts.

But it felt good to do even this tiny amount of organization.  It is beginning to feel 'real'.  And that a 'book' may result.

Maybe I'm just tired, or maybe even my sub-conscious realizes that it is more efficient to have a tiny amount of organization for this project, but they seem quiet this morning.  So I'm going to go down to the loom and keep threading the new warp.  Until they poke me again?  Or maybe they will wait until I have a list of topics and we can both 'see' what needs to be addressed.

Bored? Or Restless?

 

the public path before someone cut down all the rose bushes...

When I was healthier I used to walk my neighbourhood nearly everyday, partly for the exercise, partly to be more physically active in a more balanced way than weaving on the AVL, partly to just get out of the house.  Now, walking 'too much' hurts so I gave up walking last year when I was recovering from shingles and the peripheral neuropathy ramped up.  These days I conserve my energy for the weaving and reluctantly say goodbye to my walks.

Over the winter I began to feel restless.  Maybe a bit 'bored'?  Except I don't really truck in 'bored' because there is always something else I can be doing to engage my mind.  This restlessness grew as I started working with the 'new' weave structure.  It's not particularly 'new', others have done similar things.  When the time is 'right' and all that.

And yet. 

And yet.

It has been too 'interesting' for the past while.  Too much stress.  Too much worry.  I would like to ignore the outside world but I can't because I live in it.

So while I concentrate on weaving, designing, reading a little bit, making puzzles and mostly ignoring the hemming pile, I feel that restlessness.  I wonder if it is just 'spring', but this started just as winter was settling in so there is something else going on in my brain.  Something I haven't resolved.  Something I can't quite pin down.  

Perhaps there is a bit of Imposter Syndrome mixed in there as I write my essays.  A part of me feels driven to write them, but a part of me says 'you'll only disappoint people with your pithy comments'.  There is a push/pull going on in the back of my brain on top of everything going on in the 'real' world.

I wonder if that is also part of this restlessness.

But I have stories I want to tell.  Mostly they are stories of and about weaving, acquiring knowledge and sharing it.  Personal revelations as well as craft centred ones.  There are 18 now.  Some of them may get rewritten, but the kernel of each?  I hope to keep those.  Separate the wheat from the chaff.

Yesterday I wrote about a trip to Sweden and remembering the day brought me comfort and even a little joy.   That I had that experience.  That I learned so much from the day.  That some of my conclusions were validated.  And I wanted to share that experience and that learning.

That's what these essays are really all about.  Me, sharing some of the things I have learned over the decades.  Abby Franquemont's comment about the responsibility some of us have who have been 'chosen' to hold the thread of knowledge need to ensure that the thread remains unbroken resonated with me so much I can't get the vision of a line of elders receding into the past, all holding and supporting that thread.  Part of me pooh-pooh's my place in that line.  Who do I think I am to believe that I might deserve a place in that thread, that line.  And that, dear friends is Imposter Syndrome to the very molecule!  

Because it is not up to me to decide I am part of that line.  All I can do is try to help others, the best I can.  It will be for others to decide my place in that line - or not.  

As I wrestled with these ideas, the universe gave me validation.  Sideways, as always.  Over the past couple of days I have received messages from several people who have let me know Magic in the Water remains a prized resource for wet finishing and thanked me for the time/effort of getting the information out there and available.  Some people have referred to it as a 'classic'.  Some guilds won't let the book leave the guild room in case it never comes back.

So I think about all of that and wonder if this restlessness I feel is me fighting the Imposter Syndrome, trying to do what the universe apparently wants me to do - keep going.  Keep writing.  Keep telling my stories?  

Yes, some people will find my stories lacking.  That's fine.  I'm not everyone's cup of tea, as they say.  But enough people have contacted me about what I'm currently doing with my essays to say they want to see them, see what I want to share.

If that is the case, the only 'cure' for this restlessness is to get them written and out into the wild.  And then maybe good old Impostor Syndrome can go hibernate again for a while and leave me alone?

That Old Wet Magic!

 

loom state - alpaca

wet finished - alpaca  (samples from Magic in the Water)

The other day Sharon asked on an on line group for some advice on wet finishing her alpaca-silk shawl so I discussed things that could be done and encouraged her to be more 'aggressive' in her fulling.  Here is her report on what she did (with permission):

"Laura, Thank you again for all of your advice! A “bit more” aggression with the agitation and the temperature brought the threads together nicely at 20epi. Oh, but when I followed your directions and pressed the cloth while it was still damp; the cloth came alive! 

The cloth looked okay when it came off the loom. After my first attempt to full it, I thought I would have to increase the sett to have the pattern come together and not look like individual threads. The fabric looked bedraggled when it was wet. From it’s first washing, I knew the fabric would look better when it dried, but still wouldn’t look as good as I hoped/expected; I was loosing heart. 

Then the pressing! Voila! The pressing “set” the structure of this pattern, made it look crisp, and really brought out the sheen. I had forgotten everything I’ve read about pressing different fibers and your instructions in your video. Thank you for the reminder! I now see the beauty of just using the alpaca/silk yarn. Again, thank you!"

It truly IS magic when it happens - all the individual threads come together to become 'one' - whole cloth.  Suddenly all the individual threads join together and become 'real' as a different thing.  Cloth instead of threads.

Life is like that, too.  In so many ways we (I'm talking about 'my' culture) trudge along thinking that we have to do everything for and by ourselves.  But when we work as a community things generally go a lot better.

We see it here - we just had about 60 cm of snow fall over the past week and each household has been struggling to get their driveways cleared.  But there are some people who help each other - neighbours with snow blowers will do the neighbour to the other side who doesn't have one.  Some people even clear the snow off the roads in front of their house, which makes driving a lot easier.  (While others simply dump ALL the snow from *their* driveways ONTO the road making it that much harder for others to navigate the street.)

I see it in the weaving world at times with students wanting (or not) feedback or suggestions for improvement.  I had a person refuse to let me 'help' them by offering suggestions telling me that they were very intelligent and they could figure it out for themselves.  I had to quietly back away and watch them struggle for several days when they had my experience and resources right there - all they had to do was be receptive to additional information.  I was made to feel like my 20+ years of experience were of no value because THEY were smart enough to figure it out for themselves.  

And then I offer to help someone like Sharon and see success and the delight at finally achieving the effect they wanted for a very special textile.  And I keep offering to help people because the Sharons make up for the others.  

So I keep plugging away at writing my essays in hopes that they will receive a receptive audience, that they will help a few people who are struggling and maybe don't know why but are willing to open their minds and try, sometimes on blind faith.

It's a responsibility that I feel - to help others so they don't have to struggle or be disappointed.  

Another student another time took a workshop on wet finishing and the warp she had didn't look like much on the loom but would magically transform in the wet finishing.  She remained dubious during the weaving and I kept reminding her the magic would happen in the water.  She continued on faith that what I was saying was 'true' and on the last day we did the wet finishing and that light came on - the one behind the eyes.

"I get it!  You don't make what you want to see in the loom, you make it so that it can happen in the wet finishing!"

Exactly.

Creating cloth is a kind of magic.  Our distant ancestors began the process by figuring out how to make string, then manipulate it into something else, something useful.  Something beautiful in some cases.  And how when that assembly of threads was exposed to water, it could transform into something greater than the sum of it's parts.

For anyone wondering, the original version of Magic in the Water is sometimes seen for sale at estate sales or from weavers downsizing.  The pdf version is available via blurb.  It can also be purchased in a 'magazine' format.  It doesn't have the samples, but close up photos (as above) are included.

After another grey dreary windy day yesterday, the sun has just now poked through a cloud.  Must be time to get to the loom and weave a towel.  

And think about the next essay...

Age is 'Just' a Number

 

I come from the generation that coined the phrase 'never trust anyone over 30'.

Heh.

Oh yes, I was once young.  And invincible.  Or so I thought.

Younger me could be heard saying things like 'Age is just a number; you are only as old as you think you are!'

Current me laughs, uproariously.

Yes, 'age' is 'just' a number, but life?  Ah, life.  

Right now I'm reading Sand Talk by Tyson Yunkaporta and the First Peoples viewpoint on, well, everything.  I am pitched right back into my 20-something body trying to make head or tails out of The Dancing Wu Li Masters.  First Peoples have a great deal to teach current quantum physicists.  

The Dancing Wu Li Masters was a book bought by the high school library I worked at and where it was my job to process the books as they came in.  (Yes, those ancient card catalogue cards were hand typed by people like me for your browsing pleasure.)

Since I could also slide books out of the processing pile and into my bag to come home with me to read, I was intrigued and quietly went home with it.  Only to look askance at it because every chapter was labelled Chapter One.

What the hell?  I thought it was defective.  So I took a look to see if the first chapter had been repeated but no, each chapter had different content, but was still labelled Chapter One.  My first introduction to non-linear time, I suppose.

Curious, I began reading.  And tried to wrap my brain around the concepts.  It's a particle!  No, it's a wave!  No, actually it's *both*.  Er, um, what?

I'm feeling much the same way about Sand Talk and the First Peoples relationship with time.  No, not *to* time, *with* time.  And linear lines of times which are not.

I'm absorbing the concepts, slowly, and being able to connect them to the creation of textiles.  Because when you talk about the ultimate creation story, you are really talking about the creation of anything. Everything. So I see the linear parts of weaving, but I also see the non-linear, in a way that I never quite grasped before.

As for my 'age' - it is so much more than 'just a number'.  It is lived experience.  Knowledge.  Wisdom (one most fervently hopes).  

It is recognizing the continuing cycle of birth and death and regeneration as energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed into something...else.

First Peoples knowledge and quantum physics certainly agree on that.

As I teach others, I learn from them.  The circle of life continues.  Learning continues.  Growing continues.  Wisdom becomes deeper.  Wider.

Yunkaporta talks about 'yarning' with elders and I see my current foray into 'essays' as me 'yarning' with others - if they wish.  My stories.  They may live.  They may be ignored.  They may be absorbed into someone else's weaving practice.  But the cycle goes on regardless of what I do, or do not do.  If I want to see more positive/creative energy in the world, it is up to me to grasp some of it from the cycle of life and transform it into...something.

Right now that something is a series of tea towels.  In the end they will dry dishes, but right now they are also allowing me to explore the limitations of a weave structure.  To tweak it here and there.  To try this and that.  The 'order' of the tweaking is rather random, truth be told.  Rather like what happens in the universe as stars are born and die.  

We all follow the path of being born, living as best we can, with the resources we have available, dying and being re-born again.

So yes, my age is 'just' a number because the molecules I am made from are eternal.  When I leave this mortal coil, they will continue, transformed into something else.

We are stardust...

Different Slant

 

When I began weaving this combination, I wasn't confident that it was a good colour choice.  

The warp is a turquoise and cyan, threaded randomly, the weft a kind of periwinkle.  The day I started weaving was grey and dreary and dull, and the colours also looked dull.

But intellectually, they *ought* to 'work', so I carried on, given the dreariness of the day.

As I wove, the colours began to meld more, the periwinkle began to show more lavender and by the end of the first towel, I felt that after wet finishing they would be fine.  OK, if not fine, then 'ok'.  And I have lots of warp on the loom and lots of yarn to use up so even if they weren't 'great', I could settle for 'ok'.

My ipad takes pretty good pictures, but sometimes it has trouble 'seeing' colours accurately and this was as close as I could come.  

The 'right' side of the cloth will likely be the other face with the turquoise/cyan being the main colour, the periwinkle will be the design line that undulates across it.  Or maybe not.  Perhaps it will be this side.

Mostly in these warps I've been using the warp emphasis side as the main colour, but at least one has been turned so that the weft is the dominant colour.  

It depends.

And sometimes you just have to get up off the loom bench, shine the light from a different direction and gain a different perspective, in order to be able to see.

A whole lot like life, honestly.

We all live in a bubble of our reality.  We assume everyone else lives in the same bubble.  But they don't.

As a child I read, copiously.  As a young adult I took a running leap and got myself to Sweden, had 'adventures', experienced a different culture - several of them, in fact.  I paid attention to the news of the day, knew there was a war going on (yes, another decade, another war), knew that oil/gas was a finite resource, understood the detriment of dumping phosphates and DDT into the environment.  Stopped using products that damaged the ozone layer.

I assumed that we would do better once we knew better.

Seems I was wrong.

But I also live in a privileged situation, as a white woman in Canada.  I have universal health care, which means I'm still alive after a series of unfortunate adventures with my health - plus I'm not bankrupt.

I have a level of comfort I had no right to expect due to another unfortunate circumstance, but which left me financially secure to a level I never anticipated, having been a starving artist most of my life.

As a 24 year old, I understood that learning how to weave was very much a survival skill and if society goes toes up, people like me would be valued because I could make cloth to keep people warm in the cold climate we have for 6 months or so of the year.

And it still is.

But now I'm old, so I'm doing my damndest to teach others.  Just in case.  Because you never know when the next natural or man-made disaster will strike and the level of comfort we have now, here, in Canada, can rapidly disappear.

So when Public Health Officers began telling people to 'do your own risk assessment' when it came to an airborne virus, I was well versed in running the odds.  Because my reality bubble is porous, and I can see beyond my privilege and understand that bad things can, and DO, happen to 'good' people.  And I am not immune from bad things happening to me.

I have also studied history, was well aware of the Black Death(s) in Europe (not so much in other parts of the world, given Canada is pretty Euro-centric in terms of historical references) AND the influenza pandemic in 1918/19.  I truly thought that enough people were familiar with *that* pandemic that there would be little resistance to wearing a mask to reduce the spread of a deadly virus, that might not actually kill you but leave you with lingering deficits, much like polio and other of the viral diseases.

Surely people could see the danger and the very simple precautions that would protect them.

Seems I was wrong.

OTOH, I have worked hard to let people I know what needs to happen, and I am in a privileged position again to push others in my personal physical sphere to do the correct thing.  Wear a mask.

I don't know how long I can hold the line, and frankly?  I don't want to be the barrier to people 'living their best life' when that means exposing themselves to a real and still present danger.  I am tired.  It is taking all the energy I have, currently, just to keep going.

But a little voice reminds me, I need to keep teaching. After three years of cutting back, cutting back, cutting back, there is little left to cut back and what I am left with is writing.  Perhaps the occasional Zoom presentation.

I have several things on my desk I have been procrastinating about completing, but this week my focus will be to do as much as I can and get them off my desk by week end.

While I have been avoiding doing those, I have been letting the essay collection simmer on the back burner and hopefully when I come out from under the current deadlines I will be able to start plugging away at the essays.

My hope is that once I get truly started (one essay is done, the introduction needs to be re-written with a better 'slant', a better 'perspective') that the essays will roll off the ends of my fingers fairly quickly.  I have beta readers lined up.  The latest update to the ipad presented me with an app that I can use like a whiteboard and then *save* my diagrams so I can even do more of the graphics myself.

It seems the universe is nudging me towards doing this next Big Project, so I feel like I have little choice but to follow the nudges and pokes.  Whenever this has happened before it has always felt like a command, not an option.

And the essays are, indeed, all about a different slant.  A different perspective.  

Symptoms and Solutions

 

I ought to be working on something more productive, but I have a lot of thoughts swirling around in my brain and the best way for me to deal with the thought squirrels is to write them out.

After three years of pandemic isolation, NOT going out if I don't absolutely have to, avoiding crowds, staying home, entertaining myself (not a hardship when you are an introvert), it is obvious that things are not really going to change much for me, given my compromised immune system.  

As part of the pandemic response, I bought into Zoom, then crafted lectures for my Olds students (and then expanded them to anyone who wanted to join in) and began learning new 'tricks' - ie how to do online presentations.

I learned the limitations, but also how I could stretch my tech chops (as they say) and came up with a series that I feel were valuable to students who wanted to know more.  Do more.

Then I was approached by Felicia Lo of Sweet Georgia, asking if I would be willing to offer classes on line, specifically things that I felt were within my wheelhouse.  After the first two launched I talked them into offering the lectures to their community as well, and we are about halfway through presenting those (every two months, two hours of info packed weaving talk.)

Now there are two more classes in the works, the first one launching early summer, the other to follow.

And I have been encouraging guilds to hire me to do Zoom guild programs and lectures, which - so far - have been working out for them and me, given I have zero desire to ever get on a dark o'clock flight, jump 2 or 3 time zones, expose myself to a pandemic that is now endemic at far too high a level for MY comfort.

As I sink further into this 'retirement' thing, I find myself less and less inclined to spend much time outside of my house, my studio, my own thoughts.

And, as mentioned above, the best way for me to deal with the thought squirrels raging in my brain box is to write it out.

It is also the best approach to my continuing to teach, given the brain fog induced by pain/painkillers.

I am also still wanting to help others.  

If I have a 'super power' it would appear to be the fact that I have made So Many Mistakes that I can intuit what the actual problem is when someone writes a vague description of what is going 'wrong' for them. 

The thing with weaving is that a symptom (just like with a body, to be honest) can be caused by a variety of issues.  Until the actual problem is solved, the symptom will persist.

To understand what the actual problem is means a deeper dive into the science, the physics, the mechanics of what is happening in the loom (and then later in the wet finishing, but that is another topic and one I've already written about.)

So these essays I am planning.  They are all the things I wanted to include in The Intentional Weaver, but weren't appropriate for a 'textbook'.  People tell me I'm a story teller and that I write well.  And I have stories.  Lots and lots of stories, which I use to illustrate principles when I'm teaching 'in person' (which means Zoom these days.)

Not everyone is interested in peeling back the layers of the onion of knowledge, but there are some.  Some people just like a good story.  And a book of essays doesn't need a story arc or a plot or anything that a novel needs.  All it needs is a flash of insight into a specific aspect of the overall topic - which will be how threads get turned into cloth.

After talking to a few people, I have an approach (thank you Syne), I have had encouragement to continue.  I understand that few people will be interested, but that's ok, I can self-publish like I did with the other two books.  I have a bare bones outline and specific topics I want to address.  I even have a first essay written, just needing to let it sit and then polish, add illustrations.  I even have a new app on my ipad that makes creating illustrations a lot easier for digital purposes.  (When the student is ready and all that?)

At this point I have no publication date in mind, in part because it depends on the level on brain fog and other deadlines on any given day.

But, here's the thing.  If there is some aspect of weaving that you would like me to tackle?  Let me know.  Because I won't think of everything.  I don't even *know* everything.  But I can research.  And I can learn, too.  

You know how to contact me.