Rest in Peace AVL 181

I wove on an AVL at the 1981 ANWG conference and - after reading Allen Fannin's book Handloom Weaving Technology from cover to cover on the bus home - ordered this loom.

It was more mechanized than the one I'd woven on - I was told I could order an auto-cloth advance and double box fly shuttle.

When it came time to ship it, I was informed that it would not have those two features as they would be coming later.  Thus began my relationship with AVL.

I did get the loom with the double box fly shuttle finally in February of 1982 but the auto-cloth advance didn't arrive until much later - August, as I recall.

It took me a year to get fully comfortable with it.  It had the manual dobby at that point.  I waited until a year after the introduction of the Compu-Dobby before I invested in that.  Then in the late 1990s I added air assist to the treadle and fly shuttle.  And upgraded to a four box fly shuttle because my primary client routinely used 3 or 4 different wefts for stripes.

When the new fly box assembly and air assist were on the loom, I asked Doug to design an air assist to change the fly shuttle boxes.  In spite of everyone telling him it couldn't be done, he managed it.

Long story short, I could not have accomplished nearly as much as I have done if I had not had this loom, this tool, in my studio.  Doug made other tweaks to the loom to tailor it specifically to what I was doing and how I wanted it to work.  There have been - quite literally - miles* of cloth come off the beams of this loom.  It has served (for the most part) well and faithfully.  As we replaced parts when they wore out.  For the better part of 37 years this has been my primary loom and at times my only loom.

However.

The last three years it has not been behaving well.  After multiple tweaks, money spent on replacing worn parts, more tweaks, way more 'seconds' or 'rags' than was really tenable, today I declared this loom not just retired, but deceased.  Dead.

If Doug and I cannot get this loom to run reliably?  It's worn right out.

It has worn right out just as I am fully accepting that I, too, am worn right out.

The loom is large - 60" weaving width - made even wider by the fly shuttle boxes.  It's noisy.  I've always worn hearing protection when weaving on it.  It became even noisier with the addition of the Compu-Dobby and then the air assist.  The compressor is in the next room, but still.

So I have quietly (mostly on this blog) been saying that I was going to get rid of it.  Several people have already contacted me about buying parts and they will be able to do that as soon as we get the loom disassembled and we can arrange for shipping.

There are more things that will be sold, but I don't have a lot of time to shop them around right now so that may have to wait until after the craft fair season is over.

But I have things like industrial fly shuttles and pirns, AVL fly shuttles and pirns, and heddles.  Boy Howdy, do I have heddles.  Probably over 2000 although I will have to go through and count them out in bundles of 50.  I'll get Doug to make me a  jig to do that job.

The wood will be offered to a wood turner.  If he wants it we can deliver it on our trip to Salt Spring in July.  The wood can be dropped off, then the van filled up with the silk yarn I've accepted from a weaver's estate.

Before anyone contacts me about buying this loom?  No.  It is not functioning reliably.  I will not sell a loom to someone that I cannot make work my own self.  Especially a loom that I know as well as this one, having woven on it for 37 years.

So the wood will be offered to a woodturner and the loom can be reincarnated into something else.  Something useful and beautiful.

And as for me?

I have ordered a new loom because I'm not done weaving.  Yet.  I chose a Megado because it has a smaller footprint, is quiet and much easier - less physical - to weave on.  It arrives the end of August.

I am hoping I can make friends with it quickly because I am extremely low on inventory.  Too much fighting with a loom that wasn't working properly, creating seconds I cannot sell.  Even so I don't know how much I can get done given my travel schedule.  However, after today I can switch to the small loom and start pumping place mats and rayon chenille scarves out.  Hopefully.

My hand is still going numb when I hold my arm in certain positions.  Today I concentrated on figuring out how to lessen that and have some ideas to take to the Leclerc and see if I can put them into practice.  Proprioception.  It's a thing.  Apparently I have it.

*During my most productive years I was routinely pulling 240 or so yards off of this loom every month.  For the best part of 9 years.  I wove the samples for Magic in the Water mostly on this loom.  With the standard fly shuttle (single), prior to adding the air assist I was weaving approximately 90 picks per minute as my standard weaving rhythm.  I was averaging approximately 1 million picks per year.  I stopped telling people any of this because I was so frequently met with disbelief.  I can no longer do this, nor do I want to.  Which pretty much tells me I am ready to ease into the next phase of my life, whatever this is going to look like.  Rest in Peace AVL 181.  You have earned it.

Weaving Interlude

Bad photo of what I've got on the loom.

Made even worse because one bobbin had a dye lot 'issue', so right in the middle of the towel is a band of lighter colour.  Guess I'll be keeping that one for myself.

Since the conference I've been dealing with a body that seems determined to make life less than comfortable and I didn't want to stress it further by weaving.  Instead I focused on wrapping up the conference - as much as I could to this point - and dealt with class prep for the level one class in Olds coming up very quickly.

There were other irons in the fire as well - making arrangements to get rid of the AVL (parts), dealing with getting the industrial pirn winder out of the studio (most likely on a truck to the scrap place along with the cast iron steam press), dealing with a minor surgical issue, then - as a result of a connection at the conference - an extension to the trip to Vancouver to see the surgeon - to deal with a few other things.

On Thursday I phoned my family doctor only to be told he was out of town until next week.  I felt I couldn't wait that long so I hied myself off to the walk in clinic, book in hand.  Only to discover no one in the waiting room, and I was shown into an exam room.  Then I waited for a while so I managed to get some reading done.

Long story short the doctor there was adamant that I did the right thing by coming in and not waiting and 'toughing it out'.  I have an infection, but I also now have anti-biotics.  I suspect I've been dealing with a low grade infection for some time, possibly a cause of the lack of energy I've had.

Still not feeling up to weaving, I dug into my bookkeeping and managed to wade through the mess of the last quarter.  Hopefully I've got it sorted but doing a show with items that I only collect GST on plus items that I collect both just made the job that much more difficult.  Add in the Square and their reports I could not make head nor tails of, and it took hours longer than it ought to have done.

Retirement is beginning to look more and more desirable every day.

My hand was feeling well enough that I finally fired up the AVL this afternoon and managed to weave two towels.  I am teetering on the brink of just cutting the warp off and dumping it into the recycle bin.  I've used up the turquoise weft.  OTOH, I'm pretty happy with the old copper brown on the malachite warp, so...

But the loom continues to limp along and I was relieved that I appear to have made the right decision to get rid of it.  So I will likely weave a second towel with the old copper brown for weft, but may cut the warp off after I have a pair of them.  It looks like maybe 5 or 6 yards left.  I just want to stop having this fight with my equipment.

Plus Doug is getting anxious to start disassembling it.  I've sold some things for parts already, to people who want them.  Getting it taken apart so I can clean that end of the studio up will feel like some real, actual progress on re-organizing and beginning to figure out what the rest of my life is going to look like.

But all of these things, happening now, mean that the likelihood of making any kind of significant inventory for the fall craft fairs less and less of a possibility.  If I cut my losses on the AVL, I could be weaving on the small loom and bumping up place mat inventory.  Which I am very low on.  Plus rayon chenille scarves.

I can't remember when my life felt so disrupted.  I suppose it was while I was waiting for by-pass surgery.  And that wasn't all that long ago, come to think.  Oh, really it hasn't felt organized ever if I'm truly honest.  Trying to get the book published, work on the conference, all while dealing with adverse effects to the cancer medication?  It has been disrupted for years...

But the rest of this year is going to continue to be really busy.  I'm hoping that once this infection is dealt with I'll have more energy so I can feel like I can manage what needs to be done.

The goal is to be out of the annex by the end of this year but in order to do that, I need to re-arrange and re-organize the studio here.  Getting rid of the AVL and having a loom with a smaller footprint and getting rid of the industrial pirn winder will help.  But I suspect it will be back to goat trails until I get more of my stash woven down.  Sigh.  I've gotten used to being able to actually walk through my studio, not dodge piles of boxes and bins.

And I'm bringing home a huge stash of silk from that trip in July - another weaving 'estate'.  But silk!  How could I not?  However I didn't promise to weave it all myself.  There may be some stash reduction once I've sorted through it and decided what I will actually keep and what I will try to sell on.

Never a dull moment, it seems...

Currently reading A Brightness Long Ago by Guy Gavriel Kay

#thisisvirtue

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Yesterday I saw a graphic that noted the position of various political parties around the world on a left/right spectrum.  The graphic showed the 'median' political line, and then charted where various parties fell on that spectrum.

The Republican Party in the US and the Conservative Party in Canada are - at the moment - way off to the right side of that median line.

Beau of the Fifth Column is an American political commentator I follow on line.  He issued a challenge to left leaning people to remind those on the right of the core values of their country. 

Tonight people began accepting that challenge.  They are reading the poem that was used at the base of Lady Liberty.  They are using the hashtag #thisisvirtue

I would like to encourage people who have moved off to the right to look back at the middle.  Maybe think about what their core values are.  Maybe take a few steps back to that middle.  Maybe consider that just because someone may have more 'colour' in their skin, they are still a human being.

We have some serious global issues we need to be addressing.  As in extinction level issues.  In the past 10 years there have been more and more super storms.  Ocean levels are increasing.  Temperatures are going higher and higher.  Permafrost is thawing, glaciers melting. 

It won't matter how many billionaires there are once we can no longer grow food because bees and other pollinators have died off.  It won't matter how many gold toilets or yachts the 1% have if there is no more food to be had because floods have wiped out the fields and crops can't grow.  And if they do grow, there are no workers to pick the perishable crops.  It won't matter how many cars or boats someone owns if there is no petroleum left.

Come back to the middle.  Come back to actual Christian values instead of 'prosperity Christianity' and extremely rich 'pastors'.  Come back to the teachings of Jesus - love everyone.  Help everyone.  Raise everyone.  Respect everyone.  Feed everyone.  Keep everyone safe and healthy.  #thisisvirtue

Politics and Textiles

There has been a great deal of ruckus the past couple of days at the popular social platform Ravelry due to it's stance against white supremacy.  (8 million some users justifies the word popular, I think.)

Some people are furious that they should be 'censored' and can no longer post patterns or comments in support of Mr. Trump and white supremacist viewpoints.  They rail against the suppression of 'free' speech (without understanding what the term actually means, assuming that they get to say whatever they please without any push back.)

The comments from some of these people on the more 'liberal' groups has been rude and in some cases downright vile.  And yet we liberals are supposed to roll over and let them say such things without objection.  Because something something free speech.  On the other hand, they object to my using my free speech to tell them what they are espousing is not acceptable to me.

Another segment insists that politics and textiles should be kept entirely separate, that they knit for enjoyment not to be made uncomfortable by politics.

Thing is, textiles have been political pretty much from the beginning of human beings working with fibre.

In the very early stages of human development string or cordage was used for a variety of things, including string skirts depicted on the paleothitic goddess figurines.  Since string/cordage was very time consuming to make (still is, by hand) the fact that these skirts were made most likely had some sort of religious or political significance.

As human beings evolved, textiles continued to play increasingly political roles in culture, from the ceremonial robes worn by 'royalty' or religious leaders, to funeral uses such as mummy wrappings.

Textiles were used as trade goods as were chemicals for dyeing such as alum.  Nothing more political than trade goods between nations.  (Dorothy Dunnett wrote historical fiction and includes this in a couple of her books - the Niccolo Rising series stars 'Claes' as a dyer's apprentice in Bruges, who rises to become a wealthy merchant (Niccolo) in the 1400s, Francis of Lymond series has one book using cloth as a trade good with Russia during the 1500s.  Recently republished they are also now available as audio books.)

Textile workers were a large and important part of any work force of all the cultures.  Fibres had to be harvested, processed, spun, dyed, woven, turned into garments or for other uses.  This all meant enormous numbers of people to grow the crops, harvest them, break the fibre out of the flax or hemp or which ever crop was being used.  In colder climates, shepherds had to tend their flocks, shear the sheep, and then the fibre needed to be spun/dyed/woven.

As cultures evolved even further, restrictions were placed upon the populace about who could have access to certain textiles.  The royal purple dye, silk damasks, gold and silver threads, to list just a few.  You could tell at a glance what level of society a person was by the clothing they wore.  Look up sumptuary laws.

Again the most expensive textiles were reserved for royalty and religious/ceremonial use.

Come the 1700s and the development of the flying shuttle which immediately put half of the broad cloth weavers out of work.  Only one was needed to throw the shuttle once the fly shuttle was developed.

Luddites were sworn to destroy the latest textile equipment to preserve jobs in textile manufacture.

It is said that the word 'sabotage' comes from the French weavers tossing their wooden clogs, called sabots, into the factories to damage the looms.  This is in dispute, although it makes a great story.

The US slave trade was largely developed to produce cotton for export.  

During wars, textiles become war materials, for example WWII, silk for parachutes, wool for soldiers uniforms, etc.  

Knitting was used as a way to code.  In the series of books by Susan Elia McNeal, one of the books uses knitting as a way to pass information between resistance groups.  Maps were printed on silk and were folded up into small packets for concealment.

Even today, textiles are fraught with politics.  Groups of people in society wear certain styles of clothing and we know exactly where they are in the social strata.  

To admonish people to keep politics out of textiles is futile - it's all around us.  White people can easily say they don't see it - it is part of the 'bubble' of white privilege that they (I) live in.  However, I have become aware of my privilege and I now make every effort to educate myself.

The first step is to listen.  Hear the stories of the people who have been oppressed.  Acknowledge the injustice of what has been done to them.  Give them the mic.  As I learn more I will understand better how I can leverage my white-ness to be a better ally than I have been previously.

Ensuring that all people have human rights is not diminishing mine.  Jane Elliott did a famous experiment on attitudes and has a powerful video clip on You Tube.  I highly recommend listening/watching it and think carefully about what she has to say.

Textiles are political.  My father fought against Nazis not all that long ago.  I do not want to see white supremacy become so normalized that it takes over.  My father is most likely spinning in his grave.

Taken from the website of the United States Courts:

"Freedom of speech does not include the right:

• To incite actions that would harm others (e.g., “[S]hout[ing] ‘fire’ in a crowded theater.”).
  Schenck v. United States, 249 U.S. 47 (1919). "

Freedom of speech does not include inciting actions that would harm others.

Freedom of speech does not include inciting actions that would harm others.

Freedom of speech does not include inciting actions that would harm others.

To those who, on Ravelry, issued death threats over not being able to publish patterns, who stalked someone who objected to such things happening?  This is not acceptable.  To those who popped up on a group I belong to calling us 'libtards' vile and horrible and awful?  This is not acceptable.  To those who caused Ravelry to shut down their Facebook page due to rude, vile posts?  This is not acceptable.

Ravelry has told their users that they will not tolerate hate speech or posts that incite harm to others.  If white supremacists desire a lily white environment, they can go build their own social platform.  This is not acceptable, not on Ravelry, not anywhere.

Inspiration

playing with elastic yarns and shrinkage differential

Inspiration can come from anywhere.  It could be something someone says, or does.  It could come from nature - a walk in the park, the bark on a tree, a sunset, or -rise, clouds roiling in the sky, water falling.  It could be sparked by something someone else has done or by the materials themselves.

The conference was a confluence of all of these things.  A chance to meet and talk to other textile people in real life.  An opportunity to touch the textiles others had made (with permission, of course!)   Workshops and seminars were inspirational in terms of bringing new information and sparking the 'what if I...' question.

The vendor hall had materials to die (and dye!) for.  Jane Stafford brought her silk yarns and the colours were glorious.

Truth be told, I only ever saw my booth and Jane's.  I was wearing 77 hats and never did manage to go shopping.  Not that I need more yarn, mind you.  I have a basement full as well as more in storage.  On the other hand I have dug deeply into my own stash over the past few years and made a credible hole in it.

But I am making new/different conscious choices about my life going forward.  Somehow my 69th birthday seems...momentous.  Of course it is just a confluence of health issues and a number, but there seems to be a significance to this birthday.  One where I will spend it at Olds during Fibre Week, amongst a community of textile folk.  It seems right.

As I contemplate what the next few years will be like, I am steadily working towards reducing stress in my life by saying 'no' to more things.  No to dark o'clock flights, arriving at midnight.  No to worrying about lost luggage.  No to deadlines.  No to road trips through the Rocky Mountains in winter driving conditions.  No to doing expensive shows, not knowing if I will do anything but recoup the cost of doing said shows.  No to business expenses that drain me because I need to keep doing those long trips and shows to generate the income to hopefully cover them.

All of these things have been a constant in my life for too long and I need to get rid of those thoughts and concerns so that I can free up brain power to think about my weaving practice.

I have mulled over the concept of writing more articles but have not settled on anything.  I have mulled over the kind of things I would like to make versus the ability to actually make them.  My eyesight continues to deteriorate, plus I was told last year I have 'baby' cataracts so at some point choosing colours is going to become more of a challenge until they are 'ripe' enough to be removed.

The new Megado should reduce the physical effort of weaving while still allowing me to weave 'fancy' cloth.

Plus I will be picking up the entire silk stash of a weaver who died recently.  I have no idea what that stash consists of, but...SILK!  If the yarns are very fine I can bundle them or even spin them.  I do have a spinning wheel after all!  If they are undyed, I could even dye them, although I did get rid of all my dye stuff when I stopped dyeing yarns to sell.  However, there are dyers in the guild and a trade could be effected.  Confluences!

I have several very tight deadlines and trips coming up so I am focused on those right now.  The Olds marking from last year is done - just waiting for one more thing from one person and then I can submit their marks to the college and cross that off my list.

Yesterday I started winding skeins onto cones so I can wind the warps for the level one class coming up.  I need to check how many Harrisville brass hooks I have and order enough for the class.  Tomorrow I will go to the annex and fetch the rest of the bins of teaching samples and start a pile to be packed up to go to Olds.

In the meantime I am not pining over what I will do next year when my deadlines are complete.  I am just nose to the grindstone, plodding through the deadlines, confident that once I am through the next six months something will come to me.  Just like the silk.  Out of the blue, completely unexpected.  And will no doubt bring inspiration as I contemplate and consider what to make with it.

Inspiration comes in many ways.  Sometimes in a blaze of glory, sometimes on quiet feet, slipping into the nooks and crannies of your mind, quietly waiting until you take notice.  Sometimes you need to quiet your mind to discover it has been there all along...

Substantial

I weigh more now than I ever have before in my life.  I don't feel comfortable in my own skin.  It's too tight.  I can't bend the way I could before I got this big.  I'm quite sure my feet, knees and hips would be much happier with me if I could just shed some weight.

But here's the thing.  I weighed exactly the same weight - given slight variations - for nearly 20 years.  And then I took a medication with the adverse effect of weight gain.  I gained almost 60 pounds and when I was done with that medication, I only lost 30.  So my 'normal' weight increased by 30 pounds.  I wasn't happy, but I had got 'me' back again, so accepted the new 'normal' and moved on.

Another 20 years went by and failing bodies need additional medication so I started a new drug to help deal with chronic pain, neuropathy from two partially collapsed discs, both pinching my spinal nerve.  I gained those 30 pounds 'lost' - and then a few more just for good measure.

Am I happy?  No.  Not at all.  I know I'm overweight and apart from starving myself, the weight will not shift.  If I could be more active, that might help, but my body is not co-operating with that variable, either.

According to society I am 'fat'.  According to some standards I am 'obese'.  According to the cancer clinic, I have 'resources'.  When they ask if I've lost weight since last time, they are not concerned about my being 'fat' but that one of the primary indicators of my cancer is sudden unexplained weight loss.  So not losing weight?  Is A Good Thing so far as they are concerned.

Even my cardiologist never seemed particularly worried about my weight so long as I stayed active and took the cholesterol medication (not statins, Praluent) and kept my blood cholesterol levels down low.

I eat 'healthy', which for me means fresh fruit and vegetables, plain meat.  I have followed a (very) low salt diet since a child.  I eat too much sugar, but it's not hidden in baking or processed foods.  I eat lean cuts of meat and drain the fat off.  I have fish almost every day.

I have consulted with the cardiac nurse about my lifestyle and - when she assessed the results and said that I had been doing everything right?  I asked why, then was I dealing with cardiac blockages.  She looked at me and said that you 'can't fight genetics'.

None of us gets out of here alive.  We will all, at some point, some sooner, some later, die.  That is the way life goes.  You are born, you live, you die.

I'm aware enough that I want my being here to mean something.  I want to share my love of textiles with others.  I want to encourage others in their journeys.  None of us know the extent of the potholes in someone else's life - just know that everyone has them.  I have wonderful people in my life who show me, sometimes daily, what it means to navigate those potholes with grace and a generous spirit.

I want to be like those people, not the ones who are never satisfied, never grateful - it seems - for anything.  I want to live in peace, not anger.  Anger takes too much energy and I have so little energy - I want to keep it for doing the things I love, helping the people around me as much as I am able.

As I turn 69 in a few weeks, I work towards retiring from production weaving.  I have worked hard, long hours, scrambling to make and sell my textiles for a long time.  This year marks 44 years since I made that fateful decision to quit my job and become a full time production weaver.  Turns out I also became a part time teacher of weaving - either through workshops or writing.

Travel is becoming more and more difficult for me so it is time to give up that baton and pass it on to others.  Time to stay home.  Have quiet, not chaos. 

I am not 'fat'...I am...'substantial'...

Dust is Settling

The dust from the conference is settling.  We had a wee meeting tonight and wrapped up a few things.  I have some conference errands to do tomorrow, plus my final report to start writing.

I made a mighty effort today and dug deep into the pile of homework to be marked.  One last box, with two others to send additional info.  But I should be mostly done tomorrow.  And then I start doing class prep.  I leave in exactly two weeks!

I also need to deal with my own business bookkeeping - GST, PST from the conference sales, plus submit the GST I owe, preferably before I leave.  I am on a very tight schedule from now until - well - the end of the year.  That retirement I keep talking about?  Beginning to look more and more attractive!

There are 12 registered (the max) for level one at Olds.  There are 7(?) for level one in NC.  I emailed today to try to find out about level two.  Also emailed the folk school about September.

I have a trip to Vancouver and Vancouver Island when I get home from Olds and before I leave for NC.  I need to finish the warp on the AVL, then we can dismantle it and figure out what can be sold on, clean the studio up in preparation for the Megado to arrive sometime the end of August.

In the meantime I am VERY low on inventory for the upcoming craft fairs, but have been having problems physically.  I'm hoping to feel well enough to finish that warp before I leave for Olds.

Once the AVL is moved out of the studio, I'm hoping my floor cleaning elf can come but she may have gone off to her dad's for the summer by then.  I'll have to do it myself if so.  But I can slam some place mat warps through the Leclerc while I wait for the Megado.  I started winding rayon chenille warps, but I'll begin with place mats.  Then see about the rayon chenille.  I'm very low on those - like maybe a dozen?  Too few.

Things seem to continue to be 'complicated' with on going health issues, but I'm hoping the trip to Vancouver will provide a solution for at least one of them.  My next cancer clinic appointment isn't until after the last craft fair so unless something seems totally 'off', I can ignore that for a few months, at least.

Right now I'm focused on meeting each deadline 'just in time' - because there doesn't seem to be any 'extra' time.

But at least the dust from the conference is settling...