Snow Day 2020

2020 is off to a snowy start with over 6" of snow overnight and more coming down.  All up and down the street people are moving it out of the way because we have more snow in the forecast for the next 10 days or so.

Road clearing will be difficult and it will be hard for people to get around until we have a few days without snow coming down so that windrows can be carried away to snow dumps.

Already the snow to the north (left of the picture) is piling high.  The little strip to the right is shared with the neighbour so Doug tries to not pile snow there as the neighbour has little room to his south to put his snow.

Most of the neighbours are good about clearing the roadway in front of their drives/yards, too, which helps everyone get up and down the street until the city crews can get their big graders and front end loaders to the residential streets.  The first priority are the main roads/bus routes and the area around the emergency services - hospital, ambulance station, fire halls.

Knowing that this (these?) storms were coming in, I'd intended to just hunker down and not do too much, but we both have health appointments, plus the final closing down of my business and moving out of the annex to deal with.

Doug made a last ditch attempt to sell Puff, and one person has expressed interest, but with the weather the way it is, I'm not sure if they can make it up.  We will all be monitoring the situation and see how things happen.

My life still has obligations and deadlines, and I will continue to work on those, but my slow easing into the new year has suddenly gotten a lot more complicated.

Company arrives on the 18th, the guest room has to be readied (for the purchasers if they can make it next week as well as Mary on the 18th), I have two weaving workshops which will require me dressing 6 looms with enough warp for both workshops, and two articles to write.

The house continues to be a mess with piles of rubble everywhere, but hopefully some of those will go away in the next couple of days.

If you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans...

I Had a Dream

In my 20s I discovered weaving - or actually the universe or whatever worked really hard to get me to a loom - and I decided to make weaving my life's work.

Long time readers will be familiar with the trajectory of my life - buying a new house with room for a loom, quitting my job to take the weaving program at the college, working temporary jobs to finance my way through the steep, slippery learning curve, opening my business in the late 70s, continuing to work temporary or part-time while I built my knowledge, learned how to operate a craft based business, develop my products, figured out how to market them.

Along the way I had many adventures.  I tried many different things, sometimes doing several businesses (so to speak) at once.  Because a craft based business has cyclical income.  People began asking me to teach, so I did that, mostly in the spring when income dried up.  But the expenses didn't.

With the help of Doug I was able - in the 1980s - to develop a credit rating in my own name.  Not a mean feat for a woman, when most married woman couldn't even get a loan without their husband co-signing it.  Nor a credit card, which is essentially a form of loan.  But I got one of those, too.

I travelled.  Further than I ever anticipated I would or could.  Self published two 'major' weaving books, and multiple smaller monographs.  Met amazing people who all loved textiles and weaving as much as I did.

Explored technology, from making video clips and working with a computer person to make cds with embedded clips to help people learn.  Not to mention a computer assisted loom.

Figured out how to blog, sell on eBay, have an on line presence to sell my work (Artfire, then through this blog).

Have been interviewed for podcasts, done on line seminars (via Interweave).

But always, I have done craft fairs and even wholesale fairs for a time, designing, producing and marketing my textiles.

2020 begins and I end my business.  The end of December I brought my ledger up to date.  I just have to balance December and gather my papers to take to the accountant.  On Jan. 16 I will go in and find out how to shut my tax accounts down and notify anyone who needs to know that this sole proprietor is now retired.  My business is closed.

But I'm not.

Now my dream has changed again.  My focus will be on exploration and encouragement, teaching and writing.  My weaving practice will be more investigative or supplemental to my writing.  Yes, I will still produce for sale - via consignment shops or the guild sales.  I am happy to pay someone a commission to do the marketing for me.

People seem to find it curious that I will 'retire' but not 'retire'.  But it was never about giving up weaving.  It was about giving up the things that were becoming too physically demanding for me.  And while the pain treatments are helping, I cannot overlook the fact that I am no longer 29, I am 69.  I have had a productive life, filled with adventure, good friends, good experiences.  I had the dream.  I made it come true - to the best of my ability.  I succeeded in a profession that was at best anachronistic, at worst, completely foreign to the majority of people in North America.

When people talk about bucket lists, I ignore them.  I have no plans to fill a bucket with adventures.  I lived my bucket list.

For those people finally getting a chance to tick things off their bucket list, I applaud you.  Live life to the fullest, every day.

Hubris

silk warp on the table, waiting to be dealt with

A conference I attended as a new weaver had a keynote speaker who - it seemed to me - quite proudly announced that she never made mistakes.  Now I really hope that what her message was about was that any mistakes that she made she creatively turned into something...great (according to her description, ALL of her weaving was..fabulous, fantastic, wonderful, perfect).

Since I've never been too bothered about making mistakes, that I consider making a mistake a lesson to learn from, I have never been shy about sharing the mistakes I make in order that others can also learn from them - if they wish.  Or feel superior to me, but that's none of my business.

So after being very annoyed with myself yesterday for not just making a mistake, but spending far too long trying to figure out why I made it (the lesson buried in the mistake) I finally switched to problem solving mode.

My intention was to make a scarf.  I'd twiddled with the math and the design over several days, then let it sit for a couple of days over the holiday before grabbing my notes and making up a cheat sheet to take to the warping board.

In the interim, after making many changes to the plan, I appear to have simply forgotten that the blocks in my profile draft were not meant to be a full one inch, but narrower than that.  So my cheat sheet was made up to reflect full inches.  Which meant the warp wound up being far too wide. 

While I had enough yarn to wind the warp that I did, I did not have sufficient weft to weave a shawl width/length cloth.

So I went to the desktop, crunched the numbers one more time, made my profile draft fit the number of ends I was going to work with.  The warp is still a bit wider than planned, but I can mess about with the weft quantities and do weft stripes to make the planned weft yarn go further.

While I always aim for perfection, I am well aware that there is little in life that is.  Good is a perfectly good goal to aim for.  Cloth that fulfills it's function?  Good.  A design that is interesting?  Good.

A friend used to say that perfection kills good.  I remind myself that I need to "Forget your perfect offering.  There is a crack in everything.  That's how the light gets in."  Leonard Cohen. 

Wise words.

State of the Studio

from doorway - Leclerc Fanny, library, cone winder, wall of shelves to the right and to the left

from other end of the room - Leclerc Fanny, shelves at the end of the room and at the side

middle of the space - warping board, storage cubby, shelves to the right with things that have no permanent home temporarily stored, on the floor in front of the shelves

other end of the studio - worktable moved to opposite wall, things on that wall moved to where the table was, Megado moved away from the back wall to make space for another shelving unit to go, plus shelves with yarn

view of loom, spool rack, cabinet with music and misc stuff, shelving unit with bins and boxes

laundry area - wall of shelves with bins and boxes, Doug in the middle of working on something using the washing machine top as a work space

entry to store room with 7 boxes of things that need to be unpacked and stored, plus shelves and shelves of yarn

behind the shelving on the far right of the above photo - surprise!  - more yarn

The studio reorganization has been on-going for six months.During that time we got rid of the AVL (just some bits and pieces left - Doug is working on finding new homes for some of it, the rest will go into the garbage/recycle as appropriate).  

In order to make the transition as stress free as possible, a lot of things got taken to the annex to make room for the new shelving to be installed, and the rearrangement of how things would be placed in the space.  As the shelves were installed here, things were brought back from the annex.

The Leclerc Fanny got rotated and the valet installed above it, a counter that really wasn't being effectively used was removed and a wall of shelving was installed.  That allowed me to get all the rayon chenille out of boxes and onto the shelf so I could see what I had.  I made a decent dent in that stash pre-craft fair production.  I could actually condense the stash, but I like being able to see what is there (although I won't be doing any rayon chenille for a while.)

The cone winder got moved into the studio proper and out of the laundry area - Doug is discussing a sale with someone but is having a challenge about shipping it.  It's too big to go into the mail so a courier will have to be used.  Then the holiday intervened and things stalled on that front.  Along with some of the AVL pieces which are facing similar challenges.

(When he gets firm word from the people he is in discussion with, I will post an updated list of AVL parts here just in case.)

Once the pirn winder went to a new home, that area got turned into more shelving/storage space and the silk yarn I picked up in August was set out in two locations - one by the cone winder, the other in the pirn winder area.  

The other end of the studio, where the AVL had lived since 1982 was cleared out and when the Megado arrived Doug and his helper put it together.  Since then it has been shifted several times as we tweak the space and try to make it work more effectively for me.  This week Doug finished tweaking a table by adding casters and a larger table top so that I have room for the laptop, mouse and bobbins on the top, my boombox, headphones and cassettes live on the middle shelf, and I now have a bottom shelf for storing things that are used occasionally.

The laundry room had a wall of shelves installed which now hold remnants of the booth things (office box, cash box, electrical boxes) plus some of my teaching bins, some of the fibre stash, plus most of my bobbin lace.  All of those need to be opened, sorted and organized.  But not today.  At the far end all my woven textiles are set out.

There are also still piles of empty boxes which we tend to keep to use for whatever needs to be boxed up.  

In the yarn storage area, there are still boxes that need to be emptied and sorted through.  Once those are dealt with, I will be able to get to the lower shelves currently hidden behind those boxes.  Since most of those boxes contain things that have not seen light of day for a very long time, I suspect some of it will hit the recycle bin/garbage.  But until I have somewhere to put the contents, I am not opening them.

I took these photos this morning.  No effort was made to tidy for the photos, and some things are in the middle of being dealt with.  Like the silk warp.  The decision was made to strip the excess yarn out of the warp chain, the design will now be asymmetric, and the yarn stripped from the chain will go into the recycle bin (which goes to a friend to use in her craft practice.)

Things are not set in stone.  As I use up my stash, things will shift and change.  My goal for the coming year is as it has been for decades - work from my stash as much as possible.  Doesn't mean I won't buy more yarn, but that I will do it with more intent with the idea that I do not need production levels of yarn, just a broad enough stash that I can design from it. 

I have depth of inventory of rayon yarns of various kinds.  As I use that up I will not replace it (except if I need more warp quality yarn to use up the weft quality yarns).

The goal is to move the last of the things at the annex to here, including the last set of shelves which will go against the wall 'behind' the Megado.  At some point soon Doug will begin taking the industrial steam press apart.  Hopefully he can find a buyer for the baby boiler.  The rest will go to the scrap metal place.

It served us well, but it's time for it to go so we can move out of the annex.  Notice has been given to the landlord so we are on deadline.

I gave myself to the end of the year to shut down my business and convert my weaving practice to hobby status.  Last night I emailed my accountant to request an appointment to discuss what I need to do to officially close my business.  Company arrives on the 18th and I want as much as possible done before then.

There are several special orders that I intend to also have (at least) woven, because I can sit and hem with my company (who actually enjoys hand hemming and usually helps - but it's not a requirement!)

The first box of Olds homework arrived, but the student is on an adventure so I'm not in a hurry to open that while I try to get my weaving done.

I have pitched a couple of ideas to Handwoven - we will see if they accept them.  Also want those done before company arrives.

There are two Intro to Weaving workshops in Feb., and since I will be dressing the looms for the students, I need to get those warps ready by Feb. 14.

When I said I was 'retiring' I didn't say I was retiring from life or weaving, just trying to keep a business afloat.  I look forward to taking more time to design things and if they take more time to weave, that isn't a big deal.  But I do love me some deadlines, even if they are just internal ones.  

So I begin this new year the way I mean to go on...weaving, writing, teaching...

Sending love and light to all for this coming year.  

Mood

Yesterday it snowed, big fat wet clumps of it.  By bedtime it had changed to rain.  This morning?  Still raining.

The road out front - and likely everywhere - is lumpy compact snow turned to ice.  The highways are most likely treacherous and town will be difficult to navigate with iced up intersections and rough frozen ice on every surface.

I have decided to hibernate for the next couple of days.

Looking out the window just now, I spotted Santa, face down in the snow.  Which kind up summed up how I am feeling right now.

I'm done.  I'm just done.  With this year, with politics, with people (generally, not specifically - I still have lovely people in my life but humanity as a whole is pretty challenging right now).

I'm done with the chaos of shutting down my business, the constant snow globing of my studio (again yesterday, a minor shake).  I'm done with being IN business, the constant scramble of deadlines and never knowing if I'm going to earn enough money to pay the bills.

I'm concerned that the loss of income will be a strain on our personal finances so until we see how that goes I am not planning any travel other than for teaching - or Convergence (most likely my last Convergence, perhaps my last conference).

But I am hopeful for the coming year.  The pain treatments seem to be making slow improvement in my pain levels.  The new loom will let me keep weaving.  I'm working on a couple of article ideas.  I'm determined to weave up as much of my stash as I can.  After delivering five large boxes of yarn to the guild, I am looking at only keeping the yarn that I know I will use, one way or another.

The annex is almost empty.  Doug and his helper will continue to work on that, although not today with the roads in such awful shape.  One more shelving unit left at the annex and a spot here has been cleared for it.  There are seven more boxes of yarn on the store room floor here to be emptied and sorted and some more boxes on the shelves that also need to be emptied and put on the shelf without the box so I can see what I have.

There are some miscellaneous yarns that I have kept to be used possibly in knitting because knitting is a lot more portable than weaving. 

We slept in 'late' this morning and have been slow getting started.  But my goal for today is to beam the silk warp and see how far I can get dressing the loom.  I'm excited to see if my idea actually works or not.  If not, what do I need to do to tweak it?

I have no illusions that 2020 will magically turn into the 'best year ever'.  It will be what it will be.  I will continue to work my way through it, the best I can.

Sending my best wishes to all.  Today, tomorrow and all the days coming.  We survived 2019.  Let's survive 2020, helping and encouraging each other.

Closing of the Year

I have been using a butterfly as a personal motif for a long time - since my first (and last) solo art gallery exhibit in oh, 1983? 

The butterfly is a powerful symbol of change, metamorphosis, growth. 

2019 has been a very powerful year of...change, metamorphosis and growth for me.  Between closing the business of selling hand woven textiles, 'retiring' so to speak, and the changes that has meant to my studio and life?  It has been unsettling, stressful, and uncertain as to what the coming year will hold.

On the other hand, the changes were needed and the time had arrived to make them.

Talking to some people the other day, one of them again expressed surprise at my age.  I like being the age that I am.  I like the fact that I am still alive, able to change, metamorphose and grow.  It is an opportunity my brother had cut short at a much younger age.  I still miss him and regret the chance to grow old alongside him to see how he would have grown as he moved through life. 

He had plans.  He had dreams.  He accomplished a lot in his life and people in this town took him as a good role model.

Tomorrow it will be four years since mom died.  I have been thinking about dad, mom and Don a lot this week. 

Maybe because I am feeling 'better', not so crushed by the low grade pain I had been having, my mind is thinking more clearly.  I am starting to have ideas for textiles I want to weave, using - as much as possible - yarns from my stash.

Yesterday Doug and I took a good look at the annex (he was pressing the latest cloth from both looms - I now have a heap of hemming to do), then we took a good look at the studio and we discussed how the arrangement was shaping up.  He made a suggestion I hadn't considered but realized would actually be more useful than what we had.  Another tweak, another change.  Hopefully for the better.

His helper will come today and they will work on getting the table for the laptop that runs the Megado tweaked with castors and a larger table top, then if there is time, they will move things around - a small snow globe shake, but one I think will actually make things work better in terms of space.

Today the rent cheque for the annex will be delivered to the landlord along with the notice of our move out at the end of January.

That really is a light I see.  I hope.

Day of Rest

beginning...

By the time you get to this point, most of the 'work' has been done and what is left is the 'fun' bit.

Today I am going to wind two warps and attempt to dress the Megado with a warp wound on a warping board instead of sectionally beaming it.

I would do this on my AVL for short warps where I wanted more than four shafts, or other reason where the AVL was the preferred tool, but I haven't done it on the Megado yet.

I am still working on fine tuning the studio layout so I will have to shuffle some things around.  Doug is going to make the table top on the table next to the loom larger so that I have more room for the laptop and mouse and perhaps room for bobbins, too.  Then I can get rid of the tv tray I set up to hold the humidors with the linen weft.

The table will get castors so I can more easily move it around, but not today.  So I will be shuffling things around so that I can more easily get to the front of the loom where the warp will hang from the breast beam.  Unless I try to use the warping valet.  Which might actually be better because I can more easily adjust the position of the warp relative to the sections.

(Still thinking my processes through!)

People tell me I work too hard.  Even as I declare I am 'retired' they tell me to slow down.  Thing is, I don't want to 'slow down'.  What I 'retired' from was a particular set of obligations.  As an introvert, doing the craft fairs was the least enjoyable part of what I did.  It was stressful and physically demanding.

Last night we went to a small gathering of local people who do craft fairs and talked about the shows and we all had pretty much the same experiences.  We talked about the long drives, the bad winter roads, the horrible move in and out situations at the different venues.  We talked about not having enough inventory, or the 'wrong' inventory for a particular show/region.  How you just never knew what any show would do in terms of sales.  How a good show could pay off debt and a bad show season meant you went into the coming year scrambling to keep going - pay/service the debt and still keep the lights on, buy more materials to make product so you could eventually pay down the debt.

I will not miss any of that.

But we also talked about the lovely people.  People who would order special commissions.  Or save up their money over the year after seeing our work and come back the following year to purchase something special for themselves or as a gift.  The people who delighted in letting us know how much they enjoyed having what we made in their lives.

I will miss that feedback.

But as for wanting to weave?  It is now officially - as of two days from today - my hobby.  I will now get to set the deadlines I want to meet.  I can now weave things that might not sell, in colours I prefer, instead of making sure I had sufficient inventory in a good enough range of colours that would be attractive to people with different colour preferences from me.

Oh, I will still make things not to my taste - I have a stash that goes broad and deep, and not all of it is in colours I like for myself.  And I will still offer things for sale at the consignment shop.

But selling textiles will not be my primary concern once I've filled the place mat orders I accepted this month.

My goal for weaving has reduced from five sessions per day to two.  Three if I'm feeling able.  But I still want to weave, to learn, to teach and no doubt I will write about all of that.