Setting the Tone

 

If it were 'easy' everyone would be doing it...

This morning I re-wrote my 'introduction' to the collection of essays I am thinking of writing and sent it off to a friend for some feedback.

This is always a perilous time for a writer.  Have I hit the right note?  Have I selected a target audience that will be interested in what I have to say?

For me writing is all about the first sentence.  Or in the case of a 'book', the introduction.  

I have been writing and setting aside some essays, and an introduction that I knew in my heart was not appropriate - it was too flippant.  But Impostor Syndrome meant I needed to get that out of my system before I could get past the critical part of me that is never satisfied.  

While I was in that liminal space of having the idea and not managed to find a way forward that made any kind of sense, I continued to read, to think, and even to dream (which is just thinking but not thinking about the fact you are thinking).  And letting the various thoughts in my head percolate.  

During this time I left my mind open to other influences and information - articles online, Elaine Igoe's book, memories of other books I had read, textile oriented, of course, but other topics.  Because I have always read widely, if not deeply, being interested in human behaviour.  I have watched documentaries on tv about archeology, history and technology.

And because I'm 'old' (we need to stop framing being old as negative!) I have lots and lots of memories of things to draw on.

I had a difficult night again last night and dark o'clock means most of my filters are off and as I sat playing Scrabble the stew pot in the back of my mind continued to simmer and I remembered a 'story' I had read a long time ago.  It gave me an idea of how to proceed

Instead of heading to the loom right away this morning, I opened a new file on the desktop and wrote out a two page introduction.  With this new approach came a title.  It is a very loose framework, if you can even call it that.  I also have a bit of a framework I worked out on the drive to Vancouver in January, so I have something on which to hang the various essays.

I have two written and others clamoring for my attention, but they need to be reworked to reflect the concept I came up with overnight.  One may be suitable just as it is, the other may need to be tweaked.  The proto essays should fall into place when I get to them.

The essay format was chosen after reading a collection of essays that had such a loose framework, which I saw I could use.  I'm not writing a book that needs a story arc or a logical progression in terms of how the information is presented.  It's almost more like the Dancing Wu Li Masters.  I'm also thinking about how or if I even should, incorporate string theory (no not that kind of string, quantum physics string theory) into my story of actual string.

But that might be a step too far, given I don't understand all the quantum theory that goes into that sort of string theory!

But I have officially begun.  When will I end?  When I'm finished.  That's about all I can say, because it depends...

Molehills and Mountains

 

heap of final pressing to be done on the recently hemmed towels

I'm nearly caught up on the hemming but there is another bin of towels ready to be pressed after having made the trip through the washer/dryer yesterday.  

And now I have this mountain of hemmed towels that need their final press.  I confess I have mailed a couple from this basket without their final press.

As I continue to sink into 'retirement' and accept the fact that I simply do not have the energy I used to have, I am having to re-order my days, conserve my energy for the things that are 'important' and let go of the things that are less so.

Housekeeping has never been high on my list of 'important' things, and I confess that during the past three years I have had even less desire or energy to deal with it.  

So now my house (never high on the 'neat and tidy' scale) is even more of a disaster.  And I cannot dredge up the guilt or shame that would have driven me 10-20 years ago to deal with it.

Instead I focus on working down my stash - one way or another.  I concentrate on keeping my brain active by thinking and writing about weaving.  If my time left on this plane is limited (for surely I have hit my 'senior' years) then what do I want to spend my time doing?  Washing floors?  Dusting?  

Who will care about any of that when I am gone?  

So I am working on weaving, thinking about weaving, writing about weaving.  Because it is those things that will linger on after I am gone.  My thoughts may even last longer than the textiles I make.  Goodness knows there are books written in the 1940s, 50s and 60s still in use today.  Perhaps mine will last that long?  

But even if they don't, I won't be remembered for my clean and tidy house...

Today we have pseudo spring, which is supposed to last the week.  What comes then, no one really knows.  It is far too early for real spring, so it looks like we are going to have messy dirty conditions outside for weeks, maybe months?  

That makes the coming months a very Good Time to stay in and get to the loom.  And hopefully the desktop.  To try and order my thoughts.  Scrape more hints and tips out of my brain onto the 'page'.

I don't know that I can finish the essay collection by the end of this year, but I'm going to see what happens.  Sometimes, once my thoughts are in order (as much order as my brain can achieve) the words just flow.

So - to be determined.

In the meantime, I keep weaving.  I keep wet finishing.  Hemming.  Final pressing.  Building more piles of tea towels on the shelves, ready for the guild booth at the Gourmet Fair in the 'real' spring, and the craft fair in November.  The guild members are happy to have my things in the booth, and I'm happy to see the commission go to the guild while they deal with the public.  It's a win-win.  And I can keep making more knowing that they will benefit, too.

Reflective Mood

 

Feeling in a reflective mood this morning as I scrolled through Twitter deleting my tweets.  I clicked through to read some of the blog posts from last year I had shared to my Twitter timeline.  It was interesting to me that I was spending a fair amount of brain power trying to work out the way forward, musing about writing, teaching.

And contrasting that to where my thinking is now, after starting to read the Igoe book on thinking about designing textiles.  Thinking about how my approach to teaching has also changed.  Thinking about how I have apparently 'found' my way forward on more writing.

The inner critic in me is trying to put me off the writing.  They are asking those negative questions - like who wants to know what I think?  Why am I 'wasting' my time spending all that brain power and effort trying to write it all down?  Who am I to then *charge* for those 'scribblings'?  

Mostly I can tune them out, but on a 'bad' day I have fewer resources to resist that kind of negativity running like a thread (heh - see what I did there?) in the back of my brain.

But then I teach, as in sit down with people who ARE interested in knowing what I know.  They ask good questions.  Think about the answers, have an ah-ha moment.  All while I wait as they mentally fumble through new concepts, and then the penny drops and the light goes on in their eyes and they smile and I know, I just know, they have begun to understand.

And I remember, all over again, why I want to teach.

Last night I came to a decision on one project languishing on my desk and will make the changes and then hit send in the morning (after letting it sit overnight to catch typos).

And then?

Then the essays.  I have chosen a working title, decided on who my target audience is, and come to some decisions on content.  I have a bare bones 'outline' - or perhaps I should say a structure to hang my thoughts on.  I have the rough draft of a couple of essays and an introduction that needs to be completely re-written now that I've managed to kick that inner critic - if not out of my head, at least to the far reaches where their voice is quieter.

Because as I read through my older blog posts, I read the comments from readers who gave me *positive* feedback.  And right now?  I have to trust *those* voices, not that inner critic flinging negativity at me.

It has stopped snowing or raining today, the sun is valiantly trying to burn through the upper haze, and we have heat.  I'm going to go get dressed and weave a towel.  Because I want to at least get one towel woven this morning before I head to the guild room and hem.  And answer questions if my students have any. 

Topsy Turvy

 

This week has been full of plans getting set on their heads and me left pondering what to do, what to do?

OTOH, the change in plans this morning was actually welcome on one level.  Furnace guy arrived much earlier than expected (how often does THAT happen?) and the repairs are underway.

Instead of getting myself organized and out of here before he arrived, I'm in the office and staying out of his way.  And enjoying the sound of a running fan.  So the motor works.  Now for the heat, which is taking longer.

But I have, this week, managed to complete some long standing things that I had been ignoring and which were weighing me down, and my errand run this afternoon will deal with another that cropped up on Wednesday.  I have parcels to mail (two tea towels to two people, with grateful thanks), and I have been working myself up to starting #5 in the Matrix series.  I think I know what I want to do, but will have to get Fiberworks open and start plugging in my plan and see what comes out.

Today I have a guild executive meeting and we will look at more plans for the future programs/workshops as well as some general 'housekeeping'.  I also found the 'spare' apron for a wider loom that I can cut down and make two aprons for the two 27" looms.  One is in desperate need of a new cloth beam apron and the other also needs an upgrade if I remember correctly.  They are the same vintage, so the aprons are likely degraded the same degree so replacing both of the cloth beam aprons will prevent issues, especially if we keep getting new weavers.  

The April/May beginning class is full, so hopefully we will get some more new weavers.  So far the three in the first class seem really keen.  I have set aside dates in September in case we get more interested people, but the other suggestion was for a 'next step' class for those in the two beginning weaving classes.  To Be Determined.

Unfortunately it looks like I won't get to the loom until Monday - Sunday morning if I can get myself to the loom before I head to guild drop in.  I'm at about the halfway point in the current warp and anxious to get it finished and #4 set up and weaving to see if I'm happy with the new design.  (It's a tea towel.  It will be fine, oh doubting one.)

The next one will be changing the threading and treadling - or at least, that's the plan.  We'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, we have hope of reliable heat soon.  And I have set myself the challenge of beginning the essays next week by writing a new introduction based on my thoughts about what I want to do, who my target audience is, the information I want to convey and how I want to convey it.  All good things to settle before I begin the actual essays.  Always good to know where you are going!  Or at least, have a plan.  And then go with the flow when reality sets it and everything gets turned topsy-turvy.

Matrix Series

 

#1 in the Matrix series

2 and 3 in the Matrix series - the gold is #2, the blue on green is #3 - neither are wet finished yet

Since this is a learning adventure for me, I thought I would document it here under the label 'matrix series'.

So, I started reading Elaine Igoe's book Textile Design Theory in the Making, and it stirred up all sorts of thoughts.  That, on top of my stated desire to several friends that once I retired I wanted to pursue a more intellectual approach to weaving, resulted in all sorts of ideas suddenly finding their way out of the woodwork.

The concept for this series is not exactly new, I had used a similar approach to weaving with Summer and Winter, and twill diagonals, based on a double two tie unit threading.

But I wanted to explore twill blocks further.  I had, by October 2022, been playing with fancy twill and twill blocks for the better part of 3 years, and to be honest I was getting a bit tired of trying to come up with something 'new' and 'fresh'.

Add in the book which pushed me to break free of my usual way of thinking about designing for weaving, fold in the 'shifted block' idea that I'd used ages ago with other weave structures, and suddenly it clicked.

It took a while for me to wrap my brain around the concept (having constant brain fog from pain/pain killers isn't great for inventive thinking, just saying) and in the end the only way I could work my way through the details of getting something weaveable was to go back to point/graph paper and pencil and start laying out charts.

Since I felt less than stellar in terms of thinking power, I began with a very simple progression (top photo) just to make sure I had grasped the concept and could weave cloth that would hang together and even make good tea towels.  Being able to combine unmercerized and mercerized cotton in the same cloth meant I could play with the mat and shine of the two yarns for added depth.

It seemed like a really good idea to change one thing at a time until I felt more confident in what I was doing, so the tie up was the same for 1 and 2 and 3, but I changed the threading between 1 and 2, then to get to 3 there were several iterations of threading.  The treadling changed between 1 and 2, but stayed almost the same (with a small tweak to make the design line look tidier) for 3.

#4 has been designed and again, the major change has been to the threading, the tie up is the same, and the treadling has been adjusted.  The leap between 3 and 4 took more steps as I rejected a number of options until I finally saw #4 and *almost* rejected it because it didn't look the way I thought it was going to.

But a little voice in the back of my mind said, wait, take another look.  And I did.  And thought, well, it's not what I expected, but I kind of like it, it's really quite different.

The next few days I'm not going to make it to the loom much, but I managed one towel this morning, then cleared up a few minor 'jobs' in the studio that were nagging me.  Getting those off my work table has cleared up space to do other things.

Tomorrow I won't get much done because the furnace guy is coming with the new motor and circuit board and we ought to have reliable heat by dinner time.  But I've got a guild executive meeting in the afternoon, so I'm just going to pack up my hemming bin, make a lunch and head to the guild room to tackle the hemming heap - because more are coming down the pipeline soon.  And be there for the meeting after lunch.

Saturday is all day at guild for the weaving class, then Sunday afternoon drop in so I can assist the students, if any come.  And keep hemming.  

Snow Day

 

We are in the middle of a string of winter 'storms'.

Truth be told, it's not all that bad, compared to other places.  But it's been ongoing for almost a week, and when it 'ends' it will not be snow but sleet and rain.  Not good on top of the snow that has accumulated this week.

Busses are getting stuck with passengers and passersby helping to push the bus out of the snow.  Even an ambulance got stuck yesterday.  Everyone is warning people to just stay home.

But we are a hardy bunch and some of us will be going out.  Doug has an appointment this morning, and I have one this afternoon.  I have cancelled plans to go shopping because what I 'need' isn't required today so I can wait a bit.  I may even cancel my chiropractic appointment, although I'd rather not.  I'll see how Doug fares this morning on the snow laden streets.  (He's just offered to drive me and I think I'll accept that offer - he can sit and read his library book.)

Yesterday I got two towels woven and even had enough spoons to tackle some things on my desk.  One of the things I had been procrastinating over for literally years.  But it was weighing heavily on my mind and it had reached the stage where it could not be ignored any longer.  So over my lunch break I gave myself a pep talk (shook the pom poms of encouragement!) and got 'er done.  

What a relief!  I won't breathe entirely easy until I get the confirmation letter that it is truly dealt with, but that should come fairly quickly.  Then I can move forward on some other things that will knock on based on getting that completed.

You would think that at my age I would know better than to ignore stuff until it becomes a burden, but it seems that lesson hasn't quite taken, yet.

One of the other things on my desk has hit a snag and I may see my entire project there collapse, which is hugely annoying.  And why I am loathe to work to someone else's requirements going forward.

I can still salvage the project, but it will take some serious time and effort on my part and I would rather be weaving.

At any rate, the weather channel is still saying winter storm alerts.  The temperature has gone up (which is why it's dumping snow) and we are still heating the house with space heaters because we've been hit by the supply chain issues and cannot get the necessary part.  Until June.  So the furnace place is trying to find a new motor and circuit board it needs and will hopefully have some news today or tomorrow.  I don't relish the idea of using expensive (for us) electricity to heat the house for the rest of the winter.  Because if the power goes out, we're going to be in some serious trouble.  

We have been hit with a string of 'maintenance' expenses this winter.  Things that we had not budgeted for and things that we had.  The furnace was NOT on our radar.  So I'll be posting more tea towels to ko-fi over the coming weeks.  

Book Review - Textile Design Theory in the Making

 

Two views of what is on the loom today - warp 3 in the new series

Textile Design Theory in the Making (copyright 2021)

Elaine Igoe, et al

BloomsburyVisual Arts (publisher)

 

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear, so the saying goes.  Sometimes the student winds up with the teacher they need, not the teacher they thought they wanted.

So it was with this book.

When I saw it mentioned, I assumed it was a book on design principles for textile designers, and because I’ve always felt a little unsure of myself when it comes to design theory, I thought this might be just the book I wanted.

Turns out it is the book I needed.

Prof Igoe has delivered a meaty book, one which I got the most out of by taking small bites, chewing thoroughly, and digesting over time while I let the questions she was asking settle into my mind and wound up with the most effective clearing away of mental cobwebs since I was a brand new weaver.

In very short order new approaches to thinking about weave structure were happening and I was grabbing good old fashioned graph/point paper and working out logistics.  Before I could do anything much of note, I needed to prove the concept so I got a warp into the loom with a very simple approach to see if it was going to weave up into something appropriate for my current needs.

As I wove I thought about how I could push, pull and prod the threads to create something more complex, and once I had the warp off the loom set about getting the run of tea towels wet finished so I could see how it would develop once done. 

By then I had come up with the next iteration and that went into the loom, where I watched the threads make their way through the weave structure and came up with a 3^rd and then a 4^th version (with several steps to get from 3 to 4.)

What I did not expect was how this change in thinking would begin to impact my approach to teaching and writing about weaving.

Since I am a weaver, primarily, the idea of a textile being a matrix immediately opened my thinking to that concept and as I work through the current series I am sure other ideas will occur to take me further along this path.  But it is also stirring up my desire to teach more and therefore write more.

To say that this book has been a force for positive change in my weaving practice would be an understatement.

I am grateful for Prof Igoe’s honesty in her research and exploration of how we think about how we think about creating textiles and for providing answers to questions I didn’t know I needed to ask.  (And that bit in italics is not a typo - stop and think about it for a minute.)

The book has an extensive glossary (much appreciated as some of the terms were new to me) and a lengthy bibliography for those who want to dive further into the literature.  The index is thorough and helpful to cross reference topics.

For a fresh look at designing textiles, this book might be the door through to a new way of thinking about textiles and how to design them for others as well.

The book is being published in paperback form this month.