The Little Things

 

I couldn't sleep and got up at 'way too early' o'clock and put the coffee on.  As I poured my first cup (of two) I glanced out the window at the back of the house and saw that the sun had found a wee break in the clouds and a shaft of light had spot lit the plum tree.

Yesterday the blossoms were beginning to open, but the rain overnight seems to have brought out all the rest and the tree was covered in a crown of white.

I put the coffee cup down and grabbed my ipad to take a quick 'snap'.

It isn't in focus, but almost as soon as the sun had been noted, the clouds moved in again and the tree no longer glowed.

And that's the thing, isn't it?

Sometimes you get so overwhelmed with Life and All and forget that as awful as things are (because of human beings, mostly), Mother Nature still visits and shows us how glorious it can be here, on this planet.

Spring is well and truly on its way as the trees in the background begin to leaf out.  The tree directly behind us is covered with catkins and will soon have a full crown of green.  

And last night we had a good steady rain, which isn't nearly enough, but will at least help.

Yesterday was a busy day (for me, in this time line that I am experiencing).  Today my goal is to sley the next warp, finish pressing the rest of the towels that went through the washer/dryer on Saturday, and who knows, maybe even begin weaving.  I need to test the new linen yarn and see if I've come close to anticipating how it will weave up.

I'm already starting to think about the next warp.  It's tempting to go with the tried and true, but who knows, I may explore something different and see what happens when I try.

But mostly, I need to remember to look up and out from time to time.  Or I might miss a precious moment.

May the Fourth Be With You

 

Just got a lovely message from someone saying they bought Magic in the Water (because the MAYFLASH15 offer extends until tonight).

In this day of 'AI' and Google searches that direct a person only to AI related results, I can only say this:

I will not use LLM resources if I can possibly avoid them.

I understand that AI is 'just another tool' but it is also a tool that can - and increasingly is being used for - the spread of mis- and dis-information.

Everything you see here has been generated by me.  My resources do include the use of the internet, but not LLM.  My editors are also human beings.  Having seen the results of LLM generated information (sic) about other textile crafts, I have no confidence, as in zero, that anyone who actually wants to know how to weave (or do other crafts) will find information that actually helps, let alone teaches them anything.

I have also seen that using LLM/AI is a huge  drain of energy consumption.  One person gave an example of how much it uses by saying that every *prompt* that AI addresses is like taking 16 oz of water and pouring it straight onto the ground.

While I don't know about that, I do know that it takes huge amounts of energy and our province has been facing pressure to allow the establishment of LLM 'factories' that can access our 'cheap' hydro generated power.  You know, the power that may soon disappear, given the current drought conditions.

The really irritating thing about the current push to incorporate LLM into my daily life is that the whole point of getting people to use it is to cut out the artists, the thinkers, the creators.  Billionaires would rather pour billions of resources into cutting out the people who actually create fresh, new products, than pay those people for their time, energy and creativity.

I am not against people using digital tools in the pursuit of their own creativity.  I *am* against the effort to cut people like me out of any kind of income by making it impossible for me (and others like me) to earn any kind of living, writing, teaching and developing new information about my craft.

So no, I'm not even going to 'give it a try' and 'see how good it is'.  I'm going to stubbornly sit here, in my office and studio and think about things, and then write about those things.

And if you want to support me (and others like me) you will support us by buying our products.  Or, you know, buy me a coffee on my ko-fi shop.  

Just saying.

Life Happens

 

Life Happens.  

The lovely white rose bushes that used to live along the public path in my neighbourhood and would brighten my daily walks no longer exist.  I don't know why, but for years they were there, then one year...they were not.

And life is a lot like those bushes.  Sometimes there are things we take for granted and enjoy, until they are gone.

My functioning body is a lot like that.  The last year I was able to do my daily walk was 2020 but by 2021, I was having more and more difficulty walking.  If I walked, it made weaving difficult, so I stopped walking daily so that I could keep weaving.

But things got progressively 'worse' and my event activity horizon started to get smaller and the few times I walked in 2022, I noticed the rose bushes along the path were gone.  Cut down, then dug up.

The past two years I have been struggling to keep functional, as best I can.  Life has roller coastered along, some days better than others, but I remember my functional body.  I remember having energy to burn.  I remember being able to juggle a full schedule, hit the floor running in the morning and keep going all day.

Now?  Not so much.

Now it is 2024, I'm heading towards another birthday, and continuing to try to find more comfort, more function than I currently have.  I have little patience for things going 'wrong'.  And gnash my teeth at what I can no longer do - like squat down and stand up again.  Never mind being able to sit up without having to do a 'log roll' and push myself up with my hands/arms.

Yesterday I listened to a CD by Bette Midlar who sang songs from my childhood.  I found myself reacting to one of them in a way I never had before.  

"Is that all there is?" the lyric goes.  Is that all there is?  "If that's all there is, my friend, then let's keep dancing..."

I realized that the song was not meant for the young me, other than a gentle head's up.  But the lyrics struck me completely differently, yesterday.  

Maybe it was partly because I had my six month cancer clinic appointment Thursday, and my Covid vax yesterday and I was feeling, well, I had feelings.  

The news was 'good', actually.  The type of cancer I have is still not considered 'curable'.  It is also a complete surprise to everyone involved that I have gone into remission because hardly anyone with this type of cancer, does.

My new doctor commented that they didn't know why I was in remission and therefore could not make any kind of guess about when it might end.  Since I am considered 'stable' (after being in this remission since Feb. of 2019) I will continue to be monitored by a special 'group' that oversees people with stable blood cancers, until such time as the cancer starts growing again.

And so, I am cut loose for another six months.  To continue this 'dance', not knowing when the music will stop, the dance will end.  And when I will be asking myself...'is that all there is?'

In the meantime, I will keep weaving, even if I can't 'dance' anymore...

The Dance

Watch the feet
as they step and slide
in perfect time,
they find their place
and never miss a beat.

Watch the hands,
sure and deft,
no wasted motion
as they sweep
on their appointed path.

Watch the eyes
watching:
they observe the placement
of the hands,
the threads, the tools.
They watch and help
to dance the dance.

And when the music ends
the dance is done
the cloth is cut
the loom left bare
then, yes, then
the dance lives on
a static record left
to prove the dance begun.

This solitary dance goes on
unseen, a private act
seen only from within.

And if one other sees
within the cloth
one half the joy
felt in the dance,
then I have danced
for them as well...   -Laura Fry

All Over But the Shouting

 

There is one more book to be shipped as soon as the bidder pays, and then the wait to see if all the parcels make it to the correct address in good order.  eBay withholds payment until the transaction is complete and the bidder satisfied.  They encourage the person selling to guarantee returns, so I have to wait and see what happens now.  So the auction is over, but it isn't.

Schrödingers auction...

That means I have to be patient (not my strong suit) and wait until the end of this month to see what happens.

It also means I still have a bunch of books that need new homes.  I will wait until next week to make a decision because I am, quite frankly, 'done' with trying to sell them and I need time to recover some energy and enthusiasm.

Yesterday I cut the last warp off the loom and this morning I puttered getting the next warp ready to be beamed.  But I also have 19 towels to be inspected and repaired and I'm thinking I'm going to do those first so that I can be running them through the washer/dryer while I'm beaming.

Tentatively, this is the draft I will be using on the beige warp with linen weft.  It will be subtle and I'm not sure I've got the 'balance' correct for the very fine singles linen for weft, so I may need to tweak the tie up some more.

The draft was inspired by a draft in Ars Textrina, but tweaked to give me the roses/stars in a counterchange format.  The tie up is based on twills with plain weave so that there are more interlacements than a straight twill.  I'll 'test' the weave before I start the towels and see how it looks.

There is more than a little hubris going on, which I may come to regret given the singles linen is a new-to-me yarn and it is finer than I expected.  OTOH, it *is* linen so stiffer than cotton, and I'm hoping the plain weave included will be sufficient to stabilize the cloth.

The header should let me know.

Doug has been working on getting the donated 'loom' assembled but it is missing crucial parts.  OTOH, it *is* a Leclerc, so hopefully the missing parts can be purchased and they will fit.  That's part of the problem with donated stuff - frequently it comes into the guild room in bits and pieces and it isn't until you go to put it together you discover it's...incomplete.  :(  

There is a reason looms are expensive - generally they are made from hardwood and that's pricy - always has been.  And they need to be built to exacting standards.  It's comforting to know that there is a real possibility that we can get at least one of the looms in working order.  

A grateful thanks to those people who bought some of Allison's books.  I really need to think hard about my library.  :(

Fund Raising

 

still for sale - stay tuned - I may list them on a fibre arts sales group

Not all of the guild books sold on eBay.  Today is the last day of the auction with one more book that will sell for sure.  And today I was able to access the financial statement of how the auction went so far.

The books went for less than I'd hoped, but for 'fair' prices (the ones that did sell), and we have raised some money for the guild.

Given Doug has been trying to get a donated 'loom' functional and it can't be assembled because it is not complete, I am going to suggest that some of the auction funds go towards making the Leclerc Nilus loom functional again by buying new parts from Leclerc.

We were told that the loom was complete, but when the guys went to pick it up, it was in pieces and it was hard to tell if everything was there.  When they got the parts back to the guild room, it was discovered that there were 3/4s of two looms.  One is an old M model and I may suggest we discard that, but the other is a Nilus model.  However, it needs treadles and the brake system is not complete.  It's going to take about $500 (or more) to buy the new parts, but that will at least make the loom functional again.

We have one more loom that is being offered to the guild, and I *think* that one is complete.  We are trying to clear the two partial ones out of the guild room before moving that one in.  

Our guild room is larger than most guilds are able to have, but we also have a very active group of spinners and felters.  We are growing our other textile arts members, and we have a few new weavers that I'd like to see grow some more.  Maybe once all of this loom reconstruction has been done, the auction is over and so on, I will have more energy to encourage the new weavers in their learning journey.

To those who bought books, thank you!  Such a relief to find such nice books a good new home.

Famous

 

The other day I saw a post by an author (whom I follow because I enjoy their writing) saying that a clerk at a shop had asked them what they did and they responded that they were an author.  "Do I know you?" the clerk asked.  Which took the author aback, because how would they know what the clerk read?

I had a similar interaction with a clerk in a shop although it was phrased differently - and since I was feeling a bit cheeky that day, my response caught the clerk off guard.

When he slide the credit card slip over to me to sign (what can I say,  it was in the 90s) he asked me to sign it 'in case you get famous some day'.

As I signed it, I responded "I already am", and smiled as I shoved the signed slip back across the counter.

The expressions (for there were several) that rolled across his face were amusing.

I said thank you and exited the store with him still standing there, looking perplexed.

But here's the thing.  There is 'famous' and then there is small pond 'famous'.  And while I am perfectly aware that the people in my town really don't know me or anything about me (apart from a very few), my 'fame' is not in this town, but in the weaving community.

Did I do what I have done in order to be 'famous'?  No.  All I ever wanted to do was help others enjoy a craft that has brought me so much pleasure (and aggravation), so much joy (and exasperation), and even a certain level of respect (amongst some of the community, at any rate).

One of the things that came home to me as I sorted and listed Allison's books, is that most of them were published in the 70s and 80s (or before).  Many of the authors are no longer with us, and are largely unknown to newer weavers in the community.

As I have written and self-published my books, I know full well that in 20 years they may be just as obscure as some of Allison's have become.  

But again - I didn't write the books for 'fame'.  I wrote them to help people, as best I can.  Will they continue to be of help once I'm gone?  Dunno.  Doesn't matter.

Because I have never done anything I've done, not write, not teach, not post to this blog, for the 'fame'.

And I think that is where a lot of people go astray.  They want the 'fame'.  They want the clicks and likes.  But character is not built on clicks and likes.  Character is something else entirely.  

Now my 'character' of late is 'grumpy old lady shaking fist at the clouds'.  But I'm now old enough I don't much care what other people think of me.  Wayne Dyer used to say that someone else's opinion is none of your business.  Over the years, that message has been conveyed in other ways.  For example, never read the student 'reviews' of your teaching.  As a new teacher, I read them, and tried to adjust my presentations, but most of my changes came of actual interactions with students where I could see that my explanations were - or were not - making sense.  And if not, changing my approach until the student seemed satisfied.  Another is that, if you are an author, don't read the reviews on Goodreads.  (I made the mistake of doing just that a couple of weeks ago and...welp, I won't be doing that again!)

Not all students/readers were satisfied.  Of course not.  Not every teacher is suitable for every student.  But even when I disagreed with someone, or contradicted them, or expanded on the topic beyond the superfluous, I always tried to do it in a way that was respectful.

As I have been struggling with a body intent on breaking down, it is becoming ever more important that I keep sharing what I know.  I may not be able to do what I used to be able to do, physically, but so far?  Mentally I seem to be managing.  

And so I have agreed to write some essays for School of Sweet Georgia.  And I'm still accepting bookings for Zoom presentations.  

For so long as I can keep helping people gain understanding of the craft, I will continue.

The life so short, the craft so long to learn.

Two More Days

 

I have begun de-listing books that have not sold, and letting the rest run out their auction period.  Not sure what I'll do with those that have not (yet) sold.  I have several options and will need to decide which way I'll go.  Allison's books are generally in good condition, and wide ranging - from this memoir by Jack Lenor Larsen, to history of indigenous people of NA, to technical books like textile science.  Even though some of them are 'old', they still hold good information.

Allison was a home economics teacher and well versed in seeing good information presented and valued the history of textiles, as well.  And I'd really like to see her books go to good new homes.

All of this book re-homing has led me to consider my own library.  And I'm really not ready to get rid of any (more) of my books.  I've downsized my library at least twice over the years as interests changed (or I needed money and selling my books was one way to get some in order to keep the studio functioning).

Yesterday I picked up the biography of Mariette Rousseau-Vermette and have begin reading that.  If you are Canadian (or just interested in modern textile art), this book gives the historical background and, having been given access by M R-Vs family to her studio and records, it looks like a very comprehensive record of the work and times of this not-well-enough known textile artist.

I'm looking forward to learning more.  

If we don't know our history, we don't have a good foundation to move forward from.  

I feel very fortunate in that I met M R-V - briefly - when I was taking a class at the Banff Centre of Fine Arts.  I found her to be sympathetic and compassionate.  I sat in on a critique she gave of the paper making class and fully realized the importance of being able to step out of one's ego and be a critical (in the best way) observer of one's own work.

Even though I wound up not pursuing textile art after my one and only solo exhibit, I never forgot the time I spent taking that class and the time that M R-V spent with us.

The slide isn't great - it deteriorated over the decades, but this was one of the installation pieces in my solo exhibit - Sparkling Water Flows.  Yes, woven in the year after the Banff class.