It's the Little Things

 

In so many ways I have been feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the things going 'wrong' in this world.

Now, 'conservatives' should be 'happy' but I've come to the conclusion that they are never happy, they are just extremely unhappy right down to the core of their being.

So, given I am in the 'end cycle' of this one and beautiful life, I have made the conscious decision that I will - as much as I am able - ignore that segment of the population and focus on the people who want to help others.  Contribute, not destroy.  Create, not deconstruct.

The other day I came to the conclusion that I am still here to do...something...but that it looked like I was going to have to focus on what I could do, not feel guilty that I cannot do some things.  Like go out to protests.  Given my current physical limitations, there will be no 'marching' for me.

Given I've been quite 'public' about what I'm going through, a number of people have been in touch - either to be supportive, or open about their own personal challenges.  So I'm going to tell a story, which isn't really mine to tell, although I was involved.  And, because tell stories is what I do, I'm going to share this one.

A friend wanted to make something special for her child and we arranged for her to come and dress the Leclerc Fanny with a nice colourful warp.  She took some time (because she was 'rusty') to wind the warp and beam it, then thread, sley and tie on.  She had a sleying error that was spotted in the header, and I suggested to just cut off and fix it, which she did.

And then her life got over the top busy and she could not come back to weave - she didn't have the spoons.  She felt guilty because my loom was tied up with her project, but the truth is, I could not physically manage weaving on that loom and frankly it was such a nice, bright, warp, I didn't mind seeing it on the loom.  (Nothing sadder than a naked loom!)

Then, about 11.5 months ago I fell and had a brain bleed.  Another friend heard I'd been in hospital and messaged me to ask if I was ok.  I knew she had been dealing with health issues, and assured her I was, in fact, still alive although how functional I would be was To Be Determined.  As the months passed, I thought I really ought to contact her and let her know I was recovering and invite her to a catch-up visit.

It took a while to co-ordinate our schedules, but she came and I found out that since I'd seen her last, she also had been having yet more health issues.  She also expressed the desire to start weaving again.

I took her down to the loom to show her the rainbow warp and suggested that if she wanted to get her toes wet, she could come and weave off the little rainbow, then the two of them could 'share' the cloth.

She hesitated, but we worked out when she could come and weave, which she did.  It only took a few inches before she worked most off the rust off her weaving skills, and last week cut the web off the loom.

It wasn't a huge piece of weaving, but she had achieved what she wanted - broken through the snowbank (if you will) of resistance to getting back to a loom.  And considering it had been 19 years since she had last touched a loom, left feeling quite satisfied that she could actually weave.  Still.  We agreed that she should come here a few more times and continue getting familiar with dressing the loom, designing a project, and I could help with areas that she needed some help with.

Then I wet finished the cloth and last night hemmed it.  Today (because I'm on 'light duties') I will press the last load of tea towels I've finished hemming, and do the little 'runner' as well.

As I was hemming the banner last night I thought about how 3 different people came together to make a gift to a 4th.  All in all, it's tiny.  A small piece of cloth that holds a large amount of love.  It is literally bigger than the sum of its parts.

And this is how we overcome the negativity and toxic behaviour we see around us.  We do not give up.  We do not give in.  We do not let them win by not resisting against the tide of...whatever the hell 'this' is.  We do small acts of kindness.  We encourage each other.  We support each other.  

Or as Bruce Cockburn so eloquently put it - keep kicking at the dark until daylight bleeds through.  (I may not have that accurately quoted, but you get the gist...)