Puzzling Things Out

 

Puzzles were a frequent 'game' in my childhood home, and I returned to building them as an adult.  

Puzzles aren't all that different from what goes into building a cloth.  Lots of little pieces of the equation to fit into the formula, with lots of leeway to slide this way or that along a variety of 'spectrums'.

Because that's the thing with a spectrum - things change.  Sometimes more.  Sometimes less.  But as you change one thing, that change ripples throughout the web and other things need to change in response to *those* changes.

Feels very 'woo woo', but, it's kind of like life.  We face challenges.  We try to find solutions.  We try to adapt our plans.  We go astray.  Fail - in achieving our goal - re-thinking.  Re-doing.  Re-examining what we did, what path we followed to get to where we wound up.

Give up or try again.

I have one more kick at the can to try, to make my life 'easier'.  As usual there is a time for waiting.  While I wait, I think.  What if?  What if this other?  What - gawd forbid - it doesn't work?  What then?

A friend has been going through some health stuff and she has been having the chronic illness roller coaster ride.  It's hard.  You want answers!  But sometimes they are not the ones you were expecting.  And then you have to begin all over again, trying this, trying that.

If A, then this.  If B, then that.

Massage yesterday kicked the crap out of me.  But the therapist agreed there had been some significant changes in the muscles of my legs, so he pushed a little harder - then warned me I was going to 'feel it' later.  

He was not wrong.  I came home and crashed.  I'm still feeling a bit crushed this morning, but I made some phone calls and prepared for my next appointment with the pain doc.  Where we will discuss the last (probably) tweak that might work for me.  

Yesterday I told massage that I finally felt as though my body was beginning to 'wake up' and improve one of the chronic issues I had been dealing with.  That I had lost hope and had just been doing all the therapy in a desperate attempt to prevent things from getting worse.  

I left his office feeling like there was a reason to hope - at least about that issue.  We still have to see if the rest can be reduced in order to live more comfortably.

Today I will tackle a few more of my 'light' duties.  It will feel really good to get them dealt with and stop 'needing to deal with' them.  At last.  And tomorrow I will try weaving a little bit.  I will likely just do one session at the loom to begin.  Because my legs are still sore and they may need a slower entry back to the loom.

While I have felt too tired and wrung out, I have started another puzzle.  I have collected about 3 dozen puzzles of a size and brand I most enjoy making.  And making them over again is just fine.  I listen to a song more than once.  I can build a puzzle more than once.

In the back of my mind I think about *little* things I might be able to do.  I have begun the next article for WEFT and may do my first read through today.  I have 'found' an example in my 'stash' to use to illustrate the article (if they want something)  I am trying to clear my calendar from mid-Sept to mid-Oct in order to do the review of Michelle Boyd's new resource book.  They have achieved their Kickstarter goal and are full steam ahead.  I'm excited to be part of the process with this book and to have it on my library shelves.

The current warp is nearing 1/3rd done.  I'm using up that 2/15 yarn for weft and will run out on the 'next' warp.  I need to start thinking about what I will use when I run out of that yarn - what I should use for weft, when I do.  

In the meantime, it's time to head to the studio.  I have my next 'light' job ready to start.  Feeling like I'm making progress makes me feel hopeful about the 'mess' down there, too.  So, even though it has turned into a rather grey, dull day, I'm not too affected by weather.  I'd rather this than full on t-storms and lightning strikes - or heat dome and parched land.  So, I'll focus on being grateful.

Grateful to you, my readers.  Grateful for my friends.  My spouse, who has taken on the heavy lifting since my injury last year.  Grateful to keep weaving.  Writing.  Focus on the 'little' things.  Just because they are 'little' doesn't make them any less 'important'.