In some ways, it is heartening to see how many 'new' weavers seem to be popping up. In some ways it is discouraging to me, because while I would love to answer their questions, it is really hard at times. I don't want to discourage them, but I truly wish that they would have in person teachers who would show them what to do, how to do it, and teach them the vocabulary.
OTOH, I am no longer able to travel to teach - and I never did teach 'beginner' type topics anyway. I was more interested in teaching students who already knew how to dress the loom, understood the basics, the vocabulary, and were interested in building on their foundation of knowledge.
I figure why on earth would you bring someone from 1000s of miles away to give them introductory information?
But once again, I scrolled on by when I saw someone asking a question which was essentially a very 'beginner' question, and did not have the vocabulary to ask what they needed to know. There were already a bunch of answers, any which of them had answered, no point in my saying essentially the same thing, over again.
And yet.
That is essentially what I do. Bang on, all the time, about the same things.
But the thing is, as people learn, they understand more and at some point they will hear what they need to know, and finally *understand*.
So yes, I repeat the same old 'tunes' over and over again. Because the simple answer is, not everyone is 'ready' to hear the whole thing and need to add more to their foundation of knowledge before they are ready to 'hear' what I'm saying.
Stories from the Matrix grew out of my getting tired of saying the 'same' things over and over again. I had been reading a book by Elaine Igoe which was forcing me to really *think* about textiles in a new way. And at some point my inner 'muse' grabbed me by the back of the neck and forced me to sit at this desktop and start writing. What? I didn't know. And then the words flowed. And flowed. I felt like I was taking dictation, truly.
This was unlike anything else I had written, and I have no idea where it came from, really. But as the words appeared I felt them as part of 'me'. It is a pretty personal document, and in the end it opened windows in a way that had been there, but that I had not fully explored, previously.
I've been doing this thing for 50 plus years. I taught the first 'workshop' (in spinning, not weaving) exactly 50 years ago. It was the night my father died and halfway through my best friend came to tell me the journey for him was over. I received the news with a breath of relief he was no longer in pain, he had done what he felt he had to do all his life, and now he was over with this life. And I knew that he would now understand what I was trying to do, although I'm pretty sure he had doubts while he was alive.
For me this was to become my life (hence the title of this blog) and I knew that from the get-go. Since I didn't die 12 months ago, I feel the need to figure out what the hell comes next. Because I have no idea why I survived, and frankly, my 'present' isn't much of a gift at the minute.
However, I steadfastly work on keeping my tiny garden of 'hope' alive, in case things do get better. While I wait, I work on trying to heal this body, and have accepted a 'job' that I can do, even if I can't physically weave (much).
Yesterday I tried weaving again, once again cutting the number of minutes I spent at the loom. While I didn't feel much worse, neither am I feeling much better today.
But when I was 'made' I got a huge dollop of 'stubborn' with an insufficiency of 'patience'. It seems that right now I am being forced to grow my 'patience', largely by relying on my excess 'stubborn'.
Stories from the Matrix is available from Blurb as are my two other 'books' - Magic in the Water and The Intentional Weaver. They are printed in the US, but you can get them as a pdf as well.
I'm taking a wee break from writing for WEFT right now - I've fullfilled all my current contracts - and will look forward to Michelle Boyd's book ms. I'm excited to learn more about yarn - how it is made, how it behaves - and apply what I learn to my own weaving.
It seems I am not 'done' yet. I have to keep moving forward. If 'patience' won't get me there, 'stubborn' might?
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